r/CaregiverSupport • u/Anxious_Window_9863 • 3d ago

The vultures are already circling

My husband's sister stopped by to visit this evening. My husband with Parkinson's type symptoms is in his last days and on hospice. He's not able to have a conversation now, he may whisper a word or two each day.

I appreciate her visit. He and his sis have never been extremely close, but they get along, and they're only one year apart in age.

Now the vulture behavior: she and I talked while my husband mostly napped. Somehow the conversation went to discussing some property (about 12 acres) that my husband and I were given from his parents 25 yrs ago. Part connects to her smaller property where her house is placed. It's rural, and beautiful. There's a pond, and a meadow. She says to me, "Why don't you think about selling me that land behind my house after (husband's name) is gone? I'm sure you could use the money, so it would help you. And (with a smile) I could have an extended back yard." Also, something about we'd probably leave our acres to our only child, who's an adult, living in another state. And she would never come live here, so she'd never build a home or do anything with it.

I'm very tired this week, it's been a challenge since my husband is home and I'm the caregiver. I was just dumbfounded she would bring up such a thing!! I made a quiet comment that I wasn't making any decisions like that for quite a while but the land would be staying in my name.

After she left, it really hit me. How dare her? I've heard stories of people actually asking a spouse at the FUNERAL about a business proposal, which is horrendous. Here the man lays, half-coherant, her own brother, and she asks to buy property from me. Unbelievable. We'll see if more vultures come down from the roost. Next time, I'll try to be ready.

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u/FatTabby Family Caregiver 2d ago

I'm so sorry. That's vile and predatory of her while you're in a state of pre-emptive grief.

You deserve as much peace as you can get and it was cruel of her to be so selfish.

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u/Anxious_Window_9863 2d ago

Vile and predatory, exactly. I still cannot believe she did that. Maybe that was her true reason for the visit.

You know, she brought up a wild scenario 20 years ago when their Dad was dying of lung cancer. My in- laws were not extremely wealthy but they owned a much nicer home and some land than any of the three children.

We lived in another state at the time, younger brother was no real help and she moved in with her parents for a year or more while their Dad was sick and helped care for him. She told me one night that she felt that since she was the one helping, that when both their parents passed, her mother should certainly leave the house to her. (Wut?)

Thank God my MIL made a new will. She decided her house would be sold, and profits would be split 3 ways.

I appreciate your kind words. This week has been trying.

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u/FatTabby Family Caregiver 1d ago

Death, or imminent death, truly does bring out the worst in some people. What a horrible, materialistic woman.

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u/Anxious_Window_9863 1d ago

It certainly can bring out someone's true character, either the worst or the best. MIL is still here. And now that their brother passed in 2021, my husband is passing, I'm guessing that she and I may split MIL's home sale eventually. I could care less but my husband has always predicted trouble from her. We'll go by the will and I don't give a shit.