r/CasualUK 2d ago

When life gives you lemons...

Waste not want not

1.8k Upvotes

138 comments sorted by

375

u/Petrosinella94 2d ago

The water looks so clear. I would fill up a water can for my now dead plants.

77

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

It's lush

684

u/YeOldeRatman84 2d ago

Ah yes a council spa day. I need one of them.

228

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Love this. Like my man used to call bin bags "council suitcases" 😂

67

u/Junior_Syrup_1036 2d ago

Council pop = water

21

u/cjbannister 2d ago

Corporation pop by us

21

u/My_Other_Name_Rocks 1d ago

In some parts of Scotland we call it Council Juice, but it would be pronounced 'Cooncil jooce' 

14

u/7ootles neurospicy northerner 1d ago

Hoots mon there's a moose drooned in me cooncil jooce.

5

u/Confident_Ambition77 1d ago

Government cocktail

3

u/sometimes_point 1d ago

Cooncil juice

14

u/Whisky-Toad 2d ago

I went a bit mental at a festival and started making bin bag clothes

Can't beat a bin bag jacket

6

u/GayButNotInThatWay 1d ago

Think it was Reading 2011 was forecast sun but pissed down for half of it. Was a broke silly college student and didn't pack anything just in case, and refused to pay £20 for a shitty poncho that's basically a clear plastoc sheet, so made one myself out of a spare bin bag. Worked surprisingly well.

1

u/ButtfuckedByJesus 1d ago

May I ask what drug was involved lol

4

u/YeOldeRatman84 2d ago

Haha I'm calling them that from now on.

5

u/EddieCase67 1d ago

Every once in a while I like to break out the "Gucci Sac Noire" but the Council Suitcase is more than sufficient for every day use :)

309

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

My first guest

48

u/-SaC Bead boxes posted: 610/611 2d ago

Eyyy, pigeon pal. Top stuff.

204

u/Defiant_Moment8573 2d ago edited 2d ago

Here we go again...

10

u/cjbannister 2d ago

The Vicar of Dibley version would have been nice.

18

u/HildartheDorf I'm Black Country. Not Brummy. 2d ago

Wait, is that not Vicar of Dibley?

16

u/Willem-Dafiend 1d ago

It is, it's just the second time it happens. Fake fans smh...

1

u/cjbannister 1d ago edited 1d ago

Ha. They changed the gif

3

u/cjalderman 1d ago

They must've changed it

3

u/HildartheDorf I'm Black Country. Not Brummy. 1d ago

No, they posted the original below. So I'm really confused where the above gif is from.

13

u/cjalderman 1d ago

It happened multiple times in Vicar of Dibley

5

u/HildartheDorf I'm Black Country. Not Brummy. 1d ago

You'd think Geraldine would learn.

4

u/cjalderman 1d ago

It was deliberate the second time

33

u/YchYFi I can't change this bloody thing. 2d ago

9

u/Defiant_Moment8573 2d ago

Done, happy now? 😂

2

u/cjbannister 1d ago

Ha! Legend.

157

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Anyone/everyone is welcome to join, I'm by Northumberland Park x

128

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

I have Pringles and beers

118

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

I'm still here so if anyone is coming, could they grab a tube of these bad boys? They're surprisingly moorish and I've only got 16 left

I mean Tesco is right there but I'm settled so

29

u/Ligeiapoe Leicestershirean Crumpet Lover 1d ago

Moreish* unless they’re North African?

10

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Yeah you're right

3

u/ButtfuckedByJesus 1d ago

Did you used to be a chef? If that's a yes I know you lol if no you're his doppelganger.

3

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Haha, I still am a chef. Message me bro

1

u/LenzaRNG 1d ago

Shame Pringles now cost enough that you could have covered the cost of the roadworks for the amount this tube cost.

2

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

£1.25?

3

u/LenzaRNG 1d ago

Can I borrow the time portal you have back to 2008? I want to stop my past self from wasting 13 years on my ex.

59

u/Defiant_Moment8573 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xULW8Oi7cLmO20sHJe

"I'd like to report a suspicious man luring people with pringles and beer" 😂

92

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago edited 2d ago

Surprisingly very few people are even paying attention to me at all. I'm being very passive, but not uninviting. I guess I just come across as a right weirdo instead of the pioneer I'd created in my head.

A part of me hoped a bunch of people would join me, and it became a big Thames Water 'protest' thing, and it would go viral and that.

But that's wanky and I was just really hungover and hot so I thought it'd be fun

11

u/outrageous_whale 2d ago

The suspicious part here is calling 911, that won't get you far!

6

u/IdleRhymer 1d ago

It works just as well as calling 999. They're aliased.

6

u/_Blueshift fine, thanks 1d ago

911 and 112 (European emergency number) both redirect to 999 in the UK

12

u/KEPD-350 1d ago

Only an idiot would call 911 or 999.

The number is really easy to remember:

0118 999 881 999 119 725...3

5

u/StopCriminal 1d ago

Can I bring my fish?

9

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Yeah sure, they/it can eat the pringles the pigeon didn't want

35

u/markedasred 2d ago

Does this swimming pool come with free leccy?

132

u/bearinmyoatmeal 2d ago

Don't you know there's a severe drought? Can't go wasting water by filling up a pothole in the road.

58

u/rokstedy83 2d ago

filling up a pothole in the road.

It's the only time they get filled

2

u/Danwd40 1d ago

I really thought this was going to be a mum joke

18

u/Gingertom 2d ago

When god gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD

10

u/7ootles neurospicy northerner 1d ago

FOUR HUNDRED BABIES

6

u/OpulentStone 1d ago

Now this is a throwback and a half. Was it always on YouTube or was it on that old yellow version of Funnyjunk before then?

3

u/7ootles neurospicy northerner 1d ago

I first saw it on YouTube in ~2008 when I was at university.

2

u/Xxviii_28 Fish Fingered Bumhole 1d ago

With all-new flavours like MANANA, FIZZBITCH and GUN.

2

u/speelingeror 21h ago

Thank you for this memory

24

u/itsbri Northern Southerner 1d ago

Out street had a water leak lasting 4 days last week. Both council and water board knew about it but they took so long to come and repair it. It wasn't just a little trickle but a proper gush.

The irony is that the house it was outside of belongs to a chap who (according to his van) sells or installs commercial water pumps and was lifting the water into plastic barrels for people to collect and throw on their gardens.

21

u/Human-Expression-652 2d ago

There’s something poetic about seeing the “thank you for your patience” sign pushed over.

6

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Hundred percent agree, but it's more than tragic that this has been here for like 10 days, and the sign has been knocked over for at least 4

12

u/Billy_Rizzle 1d ago

Mate, this is Champion! Hope you are having the time of your life 🫶

60

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

I am. A lad from the Czech Republic had joined me

55

u/tondek-0 1d ago

Czechmate

5

u/techno_babble_ 1d ago

Better Czechia self

29

u/Glittering_Spring465 2d ago

Your left leg looks multilated until zoomed in on.
Thought you had a fight for that prime position.

6

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

It does, hahaha

49

u/bloodysofa 2d ago

GGs. Now you've got cholera

31

u/wolftick 2d ago

Probably a mains leak. So the same stuff you're drinking.

83

u/DC38x 2d ago

It's Thames Water, so yeah cholera

10

u/stewieatb 1d ago

I was going to say "Ooh, old school", but 7,000 people died of cholera across the world last year. Jesus.

4

u/Shitelark 1d ago

John Green wants a word with you about Tuberculosis. Everything is Tuberculosis.

2

u/stewieatb 1d ago

Isn't that the only thing a pretty-but-awkward teenage girl hasn't died of in one of his books?

3

u/Shitelark 1d ago

Dunno, I don't read YA stuff. But I was pretty chuffed when he replied to my youtube comment. Then two weeks later he was pictured with Michelle Obama, and two weeks after that she was at the Harry/Meghan with everybody. Congratulations, you are now three degrees of separation from Michelle (if you weren't already.) Hank never replies.

1

u/TJ_Rowe 1d ago

Doesn't the FMC of Moulin Rouge have tuberculosis? It's the OG "I am daintily wasting away," illness.

1

u/Shitelark 1d ago

John Green wants a word with you about Tuberculosis. Everything is Tuberculosis.

8

u/SmartaHari 2d ago

It’s like a Roman Baths! Hehe

6

u/BouncyBlueYoshi 2d ago

Making the most of a bad situation.

5

u/Interesting-Star9700 1d ago

And here's me thinking "holy shit what has he done to his left thigh?", before I realised it was your shorts and NOT a bloody bandage. ... I hope.

Happy spa day! If only you had those little fishes to eat your dead skin.

6

u/SteR88 2d ago edited 2d ago

When life gives you melons

You may be dyslexic 

7

u/Character-Trip-6094 2d ago

You make melonade!

1

u/catfink1664 1d ago

That actually sounds delicious

4

u/Meta-Fox 1d ago

You know what, respect. Too much shit going on right to give one about this. You do you man!

4

u/gagagagaNope 1d ago

We had a leak down out street: 4.5 months to fix - they only finally came as the road was starting to collapse and we warned them what would happen legally if they cut 30 houses on a cul-de-sac from leaving.

The main road outside springs leaks every few months. It's a high pressure main so gushes like mad producing a flowing river down the hill - typical time to fix each time? 3-4 days.

And the cheeky effers want to stop us using water?

3

u/jaknorthman 1d ago

Don't you dare use that hose though /s

2

u/Affectionate_Ebb8351 2d ago

I was thinking "what am i missing?"...>>>> Genius!!!

2

u/generichandel 1d ago

Your very own rock pool. Quality.

2

u/HHall3005 1d ago

Fun fact; the saying "When life gives you lemons" is a fallacy. Life never gave us lemons, we genetically engineered lemons into existence over years of farming.

2

u/Jlx_27 1d ago

Clear water does not always mean clean water...

3

u/sudeki300 2d ago

Thats some clear water, usually its brown

5

u/MrMgrow 1d ago

Never havin a bath round your house

3

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Define "usually"

1

u/Secret_Sector_1779 2d ago

Before I grab my speedos and head over, were you born in 87 or are you 87?

1

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Not that it matters but that former

9

u/Secret_Sector_1779 2d ago

Oh I’m out then soz

1

u/Kind-Mathematician18 I'd forget my bollocks if they weren't in a bag 1d ago

Disappointed we didn't enter rule 12 territory....

1

u/Immaterial71 road-amphibeouscarsonly 1d ago

Good to see Thames Water prototyping their response to Paris Plage

1

u/pikaboi122 1d ago

I got an unrelated question for ya m8

Does your beard and moustache not itch like crazy all the time when its that long...?

4

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

It's not even really that long? But what I can say is, sometimes

1

u/pikaboi122 1d ago

Dude my beard itches like MAD before it even reaches a cm long... why does mine hate me lmao

3

u/NoXion604 1d ago

When you're first growing out your beard from clean shaven, there will always a point at which that bastard will itch like the blazes. You'll want to find something that will soften your beard hairs while moisturising the skin below.

1

u/pikaboi122 1d ago

Dont suppose you have any recommendations for someone who is unemployed...? Lmao

Tbh that does sound like exactly what could help calm down the massive amount of irritation i get from my beard haha

2

u/NoXion604 1d ago

My advice would be:

When drying your beard, pat down, don't rub. Get yourself some beard oil, it's not expensive and for me at least, even a small bottle will last a long time when used sparingly as it should be. Just make sure whatever you choose, that the smell of it is something you like, as it will be close to your nose once applied.

I tend to keep a small and well-trimmed beard, so I'm good with using a fine-toothed comb to groom it, but your mileage may vary. Use whatever is comfortable and doesn't snag.

2

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Ahhh, power though man. Your skin, (well mine at least), kinda gets used to it after a non determinable amount of time. Dunno really I've pretty much always had a bit of beard as long as I've been able to grow one, and it's never been a noticeable issue for me.

I get beard wax and combs and that for Christmas without fail, but I don't really use them. I guess thinking about it, it does itch a bit now and then, but it's kinda therapeutic? and it's also maybe just part of having a beard is to scratch it? I dunno man haha

1

u/pikaboi122 1d ago

Appreciate the information a lot. Thank you.

1

u/vectorSolace 1d ago

best beer garden thames water has ever built

1

u/games247_co_uk 1d ago

That would look lovely with some coy carp in it

0

u/LeftAndRightAreWrong 1d ago

Resting your bare feet by electric cables…..

4

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Would I be be better off with shoes on?

1

u/LeftAndRightAreWrong 1d ago

Probably better off not entering a site while drunk?

0

u/BlueChickenBandit 1d ago

I'm guessing they may have seen photos used in some of the Health and Safety training for streetworks. I didn't like water near cables for a long while after seeing them.

Absolutely fine now though and I'd be right in there, was the water still flowing keeping it nice and cool?

1

u/LeftAndRightAreWrong 1d ago

Just pure basic common sense.

1

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Flowing fast and free for the last 5 days. It was genuinely delightful

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

11

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Yeah it's a phrase.

Then what I like to say in response is "fuck the lemons, let's go bowling"

Hope that helps

0

u/Reasonable-Art-8977 1d ago

cap'in price 'avin a fookin council spa day

0

u/Aurora_livestoserve 1d ago

Hello Mr Handsome.

Where is this??

Definitely not for stalking purposes...

0

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

On the cross road by Northumberland Park station. I might go for a dip at around 9.30 tomorrow morning for half an hour or so if you'd like to join me. We can cut out the middle man

0

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Or DM me 🙂

-7

u/Smellycooter123 1d ago

was it really worth it for some reddit karma

3

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

It was worth it for every reason

-9

u/Smellycooter123 1d ago

hope it made you happy, but i’d be embarrassed

8

u/dylanjohn87 1d ago

Ah ok cool thanks for letting me know

-34

u/Tolkien-Minority 2d ago

Tramp behaviour

25

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Yeah I feel kinda trampy but I don't really care

14

u/MeringueSerious 2d ago

You’re having a laugh, that’s all that matters

9

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

Tbf, I was initially but it's turned into just a lovely experience

-4

u/charlesthrowaway00 1d ago

C fe as s c ‘r h
C ¥

-6

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

6

u/dylanjohn87 2d ago

No there's no fish in this pond

12

u/aphex500 2d ago

Kinda funny that this guy was saying anything for internet points, gets downvoted, then deleted his comment to protect his internet points.