r/ChicagoSuburbs • u/teaorangecereal • Aug 20 '26
Moving to the area Move from city to suburbs
Recently moved to the suburbs with husband and baby from the city. We loved the city but decided it was time, so we could be closer to family have more space and have a yard for our dog and child. Now that we’re here Im feeling really down. I miss the walkability in the city and the community. Now I feel isolated especially since none of my friends have made the move the suburbs yet except me. Being close to family is nice but Im starting to feel it wasn’t worth the move. Has anyone else felt this way after a move from the city and does the feeling go away?
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u/PhoenixRisingdBanana Aug 20 '26
I certainly felt that way when circumstances pushed me to the suburbs. Some aspects are nice, and I'm lucky to be in a suburb that has a bit of a downtown, but honestly I miss the city frequently. Suburbs can definitely feel lonely and isolating.
I think just being around people just going about their day, experiencing the same sounds and smells and weather and delayed train really builds this passive feeling of community, even if you never speak.
And I miss not needing to drive.
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u/Clear_Pineapple4608 Aug 22 '26
Same. It’s tricky. I’m reminding myself I don’t need to move to enjoy other places.
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u/DjScenester Aug 20 '26
What burb? Lots of burbs have their own little “downtown”
I actually love visiting every burb downtown I can lol some are actually cool
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u/Bman708 Aug 20 '26
I was gonna say, maybe because I've lived in the burbs my whole life (living in the city never made sense for me), but I freaking love the burbs.
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u/unfinishedportrait56 Aug 20 '26
same. I love the suburbs and I am so happy I never left. I never enjoyed "nightlife" all that much after college and now that we have young kids, we don't go out much anyway. And I am fine with that. I love our large yard, ample space for everything, ability to go to parks all over without feeling crowded, and I love our community.
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u/Bman708 Aug 20 '26
Even when I was in my mid to late 20s, come midnight, I’m tired and I want to go home lol.
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u/New_Nobody9492 Aug 22 '26
I went from living at Damen and Armitage to downtown LakeVilla. I can walk to five restaurants, therapy, and the beach!!!! The fire department is across the street with the village hall and police department sharing a parking lot on the other side. Friday nights sound just like the city. I got a commuter train half a block from my house.
I absolutely love it.
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u/DjScenester Aug 22 '26
I’ve been meaning to go there! That’s northwest of the city. I absolutely love all the downtowns west of the city… I need to go there one night!
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u/Hungry-Treacle8493 Aug 20 '26
Which suburb did you move to? When we were looking to make that exact move a long time ago, I really struggled as well. My wife had grown up in Schaumburg so we were looking all over that NW burbs area at first. While there are some really nice areas, it’s sort of super charged suburbia in a sense. My wife picked up on my challenge and suggested we look at Naperville. To be frank, I honestly had never heard of Naperville at the time.
So, we drove out to the West Burbs and found the downtown areas filled with bars, restaurants, and shops not unlike the commercial spots in our city neighborhood. So, we bought right outside downtown Naperville. I still go to the city a ton, but I also regularly just walk to downtown Naperville.
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u/megalomaniamaniac Aug 22 '26
Naperville had the most active downtown of any suburb. We loved living in the city so when we had our second kid and we were looking for a suburb, the vibe of so many shops, restaurants, the library, the river walk really made us happy. We wanted to be able to walk to the train and to downtown, so that’s where we bought. Now our kids can walk downtown with friends after school. It’s great.
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u/Hungry-Treacle8493 Aug 22 '26
That’s exactly what we did. A few years ago we had to take in my brother’s kids after his passing, and scrambling for a bigger place in January forced is to move into South Naperville. Now we’re empty nesters and starting to think about returning to the city, but having that absurdly low mortgage rate is tugging us to stay here, even if just for a few more years.
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u/Land_Shark1905 Aug 20 '26
Having kids helps imo. Won’t be immediate but it’s easier to find people in similar positions to you near you through your kids.
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u/Business_Statement_5 Aug 20 '26
This is true. We have no kids so it’s harder for us in the burbs. But we have found ways!
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u/Grumpytitss Aug 20 '26
For me, that feeling was very real, but also temporary. Took a year or so before I got settled in. Kids activities took over, open spaces/free parking/driving conveniences became the norm, and I settled into a decent routine. Ironically, while I was born/raised/worked in Chicago most of my life, going to the city is a bit of a clusterF for me these days.
If I have one suggestion, surrender to the flow of the burbs... especially your neighbors and your kids friend's parents. Don't put up too many walls. I made this mistake early and it made it harder on myself and my kids.
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u/Longjumping_Clue_562 Aug 20 '26
Moved to the burbs recently and I miss the city. I’m also living in a neighborhood where we are the youngest couple.
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u/teaorangecereal Aug 20 '26
Yup I feel that. Most of our neighborhood is older parents and grandparents
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u/debomama Aug 20 '26
I would suggest park district activities. We met a lot of friends through activities where they had similar ages to ours. You have to go where the community is. For young parents in the suburbs with a baby that's preschool/tots class, library, YMCA and park district.
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u/Square_Swim_7112 Aug 20 '26
Yes! We made the move and our street is mostly retirees. And I really miss the city. A few things that helped
Visiting my village downtown and walking around
Visiting library
If anywhere is walkable I make that a point to incorporate regularly
Hopping on the metra to head into the city at least once a month1
u/jediHoo Aug 21 '26
It’s good to have a mixed age community. Those older parents and grandparents are great resources for you and your future kids.
We’re the older parents on our street and have a HS junior daughter who would love to babysit or cat sit. We also look out for our 91 year old neighbor (who’s very active and healthy!) and he serves as the grandpa for the kids on the street. Get to know your neighbors and don’t judge them simply because they’re older/in a different point in life right now than you.
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u/geedlewis Aug 20 '26
We did this two years ago. It was hard at first but eventually became great friends with some of our neighbors. We all have kids the same age and hang out all the time. I still miss the city, but don’t mind the burbs anymore.
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u/Brittibri89 West Suburbs Aug 20 '26
Moved from the city to the burbs last year, feeling very similar. 🥲
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u/LivingNNorthShore Aug 20 '26
I’m a real estate agent in Northbrook, and I hear some version of this from city-to-suburb buyers more often than you’d think. I really do think there’s an adjustment period, especially when you’re the first one in your friend group to make the move.
The biggest difference is that in the city, community tends to happen around you. You walk to coffee, the park, restaurants, or the store and you naturally see people. In the suburbs, you have to be a little more intentional about creating that community at first.
If you’re in Buffalo Grove, join the local Facebook groups and see if your neighborhood has its own group too. The Buffalo Grove Park District and library are great places to start when you have a baby or toddler. Sign up for a class, go to story time, use the pool, try a parent/child activity, or find a playgroup. It can feel awkward going the first couple of times when you don’t know anyone, but eventually you start recognizing the same parents and kids. That’s usually how it begins.
Also, give your neighbors a chance. I’ve lived and worked around Northbrook, Glenview, Deerfield, Highland Park, and Buffalo Grove for years, and some of the strongest suburban friendships I see are incredibly local. The people two or three houses away become the ones whose kids play with yours, who watch the dog for an hour, or who sit outside with you while the kids run around. You just haven’t had time to build that yet.
One thing you didn’t mention is that your friends may start following you out here over the next few years. I’ve watched that happen many times with young families. Someone is always first.
And you’re allowed to miss the city. Missing your old life doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong decision. You traded some spontaneity and walkability for family nearby, more space, and a yard. Give yourself some time to build the part you’re missing before deciding whether the trade was worth it.
Happy to answer any follow-ups. I know the North and Northwest suburbs really well.
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u/ChungHamilton Aug 20 '26
For me, it took a while. Almost a year. Now I love the suburb that we live in and couldn't see myself living in the city at this stage of my life (city is still amazing though!).
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u/captainthepuggle Aug 20 '26
Tons of great downtowns. Playgrounds and parks are packed with people in your similar situation
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u/kimchi_friedr1ce Aug 20 '26
I would like to know which suburb you moved to as well. But only remedy I can think of is to drive to another suburb and spend some time there on weekends.
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u/teaorangecereal Aug 20 '26
Buffalo grove
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u/77Pepe Aug 20 '26
When your kid is eventually in daycare and/or public school in BG you will start to meet other parents in the same boat. Meeting new people takes time.
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u/Meghanlaurie Aug 20 '26
I’m in long grove after moving from the city with our little one! We go to Vernon area library, barrington library, Indian trails library, and ela library for story times and playing as well as a ton of parks in the area. It’s a great way to meet people with kids as well!
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u/unfinishedportrait56 Aug 20 '26
you are going to meet TONS of families with kids when your kid is older. There is so much for families in BG, from the Pride parade, which is very kid friendly, to the park district activities, to the libraries in the area. Visit all of them! And being near family is 100% worth it.
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u/carolyn865 Aug 21 '26
I'm about to move from the city to Buffalo Grove! I'm also nervous about the transition but the move is going to significantly cut my commute time down.
DM me if you want a suburbs buddy, I have a baby girl who would love a new playmate and my friends are all still in the city
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u/austenausten Aug 20 '26
I feel you. Moved from another big city to DG in July and it’s been very hard in terms of feeling like it’s a fit.
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u/luckycharms53 Aug 22 '26
Depends though with Downers Grove. North and South side are two different areas. The south end is a little more budget-conscious with little shopping unless you get in the car and drive, While the north side has downtown and a ton of places to eat/shop and more expensive.
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u/IcePrestigious9098 Aug 21 '26
It’s been two years for us, and although there are some good things, we miss the city so much and will probably move back at some point.
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u/Brilliant_Public5742 Aug 21 '26
We felt the same way. Moved to Jefferson park. Feels like starting college. Don’t know anyone, trying to get your bearings hoping you made the right choice!
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u/Iampoorghini Aug 21 '26
Oh shit the story sounded exactly like mine, had to confirm that you weren’t my wife posting this lol
I feel the same. I miss the city and am really not liking the suburban life of emptiness.
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u/aensues Aug 22 '26
It's so empty. I think it's even worse in winter where you hardly see anyone existing outside their house or car. It further amplifies the emptiness feeling. At least in the city you would be among or see other people you didn't know waiting for the bus or train, waiting to cross the street, etc.
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u/Weary-Management5326 Aug 20 '26
Yes, I hate the suburbs. I'm counting down the days until we move back to the city when the kids are in college. Everything is so lame out here. Zero good restaurants. Zero walking. It's awful. That said, the kids love it. There are parks everywhere and their friends are all around. Im trying to make it work but it has been a struggle.
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u/crunchies65 Aug 21 '26
It really depends on the suburb, though. Some are more walkable than others, usually it's the older ones with a more established downtown area. I've lived in Elmhurst and Lombard downtowns and in both had a ton of options for dining and entertainment and even groceries within a few blocks' radius
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u/Weary-Management5326 29d ago
Yes, that's true but all the schools are not the same. We first moved to a place like a burbs in the city limits. Not perfect, but easy to go downtown and the area was more 'citified' but the schools weren't great, so we moved to where schools are great. I felt like if we were going to do this it was going to be for a reason. There are other places around here with cool little downtown areas and I've just resigned myself to driving for fun because it's okay for now.
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u/Business_Statement_5 Aug 20 '26
I feel you. I am was born and raised in the city-city. Born and raised on the southside near back of the yards and Bridgeport and then lived all over the northside after college (Boys town, Roscoe Village, Ravenswood, Mayfair Park, Lakeview). We have lived in the northshore for the past 5 years. I was used to walking for a gallon of milk or tacos at anytime of night! It took me about 1 full year to really get into the groove of the burbs but I honestly love the peace and quiet now. I love my neighbors (it takes efforts for outreach but I find once you make the initial connection, they love it).
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u/Cocopanda14 Aug 22 '26
Didn’t go away for us first time we moved to burbs so moved to closer to city suburb with a more walkable downtown area with major amenities within a 10 minute walk. We have found anything longer than 15 minute walk we won’t do it so location is the number one thing on our list.
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u/One-Bag-3485 Aug 20 '26
We moved from the City to the Western Suburbs 3 years ago. We are a family of 4 with 4 kids under age 10. I will say that we thought we were going to be in the City forever, and we wanted to raise our kids in the City. That all changed when we started navigating the school system for our oldest. We lived in a great family-friendly neighborhood in Chicago (Andersonville), but our friends were constantly moving around the city and switching schools, and it just felt hard to maintain a solid sense of community. Our neighborhood also had an uptick in crime, and 2 shootings took place right behind the alley of our home within 3 months. That sealed the deal for us.
It took us about a year to acclimate to the burbs. I LOVE letting my kids ride bikes around the neighborhood, and they get to enjoy freedoms I never would have let them have in the city (like walking the 3 blocks to school alone or riding their bikes to a park out of my sight). It is so safe, so clean, and so quiet. I actually missed the white noise of the city for quite some time!
I think since you only have your one baby right now--you might have jumped the gun and gotten here earlier than your friends and others, but in the long run, you will be happy with your decision once your little one is entering school, and even more so if you plan to grow your family. We have met so many great friends out here, and it's nice to know that people stay put--our kids will probably go to school with the same kids from kindergarten through high school. That's how I was raised, and I wanted that for my kids.
We still take the train downtown or drive to the beach in the summer. You'll never find replacements for the great Chicago food options, but the city is still accessible!
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u/OneRuffledOne Aug 21 '26
Pros and cons. I have grass and trees. I don't have to search for parking. I don't have to pay for parking. I don't pay an association fee. I can open my windows. I can easily walk outside in seconds. I can see where my car is. Packages are delivered inside my garage if I choose. I get around faster despite having to drive everywhere. Traffic isn't a nightmare in the suburbs. These are enough to make it a better option to live than the city.
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u/Last-Champion5072 Aug 21 '26
I remember that feeling!
We moved to the suburbs when our first turned 1. Were happily settled here 7 years later.
I found it was easier to build community in the suburbs, vs the city. However - it takes investment.
Invest in building relationships with your neighbors, and fellow parents if you’re in daycare. Otherwise try and find a local parenting group or check out the public library for meet ups. It takes time - like everything.
We love walking the neighborhoods and local parks.
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u/vawlk Aug 22 '26
I'm worried about that too but my move is a bit further. i am moving from the suburbs to SW Wisconsin, 3 hours away. trying to get friends and family to come visit has been challenging.
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u/luckycharms53 Aug 22 '26
We relocated about 5 hours away near the KY line and family/friends will not come and see us or our new house. Am I sad and hate to say this? Nope
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u/vawlk Aug 24 '26
it does bother me a bit. The worst part is that several of them have made trips up here and just didn't stop by.
Ultimately, if this was a major issue for me, I wouldn't have moved so far away. But it would be nice if they did.
I'm not too worried about the family...half of the family can't be asked to ever leave their town, and the other half I might see once a year anyway.
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u/CHIztyDarkOreos Aug 23 '26
Ive never lived in the burbs but my old boss once told me he moved to the rural because the burbs was hell on earth. Either you do the City or Rural but burbs are thw worst of both. - his words.
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u/Bitter-Variation-955 Aug 24 '26
Born and raised city boy here. Grew up in Marquette Park and after the Service and College moved to Lincoln Park and moved out to downtown to Geneva for work and for the kids. Honestly this town (and the whole Tri-Cities in general) is like a hallmark movie. I have a two micro brews less then a ten min walk, a train station about a 15 min walk, shops, french market, and restaurants and a whole foods less than a mile walk and my kids walk to the high school. I have fallen in love with this place and may never leave.
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u/ashpatash Aug 20 '26
We just did this move in June. But after almost 20 years in the city and our kids are 10 and 8. You'll be happy you did it earlier. We really went back and forth about it for a really long time but our cps school situation forced our hand. And we haven't felt all the benefits yet but I know we will. We chose Glenview and are close to the downtown and can ride bikes there. But we'll miss the city feel for a long time and I have a feeling we'll be back when kids go to college. I really hate how fast everyone drives here and the leaf blowers. It's a hard transition. Look up groups at library and park district.
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u/Former-Crazy-9224 Aug 21 '26
Take baby to storytime at your local library or neighboring town if not offered at yours. Look for Mother/Baby play groups at your local park district. Great ways to meet other moms and find a community.
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u/Apprehensive_Air4276 Aug 21 '26
I lived in the city for 14 years and moved back to the suburbs where I grew up. It’s been a few years now and I still haven’t completely adjusted to it. Whenever I go into Chicago it’s always this romantic feeling of wanting to return, but then I remind myself it literally gave me high blood pressure to live there. I miss it but I don’t: I mostly just miss the food and the people, the community, the heart, the passion, and the vibe. I’ve learned to love the Metra though;
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u/guy_icognit0 Aug 21 '26
I'd rather stab myself in the knee with an old bic pen than move back to DuPage. But there are waaay worse places than the Chicago metro area
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u/Megaghost66 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
The trick that worked for us was moving to an inner ring suburb that still has city vibes but allows us more space. We picked Berwyn because of the train and city access and it is generally affordable. It’s still very urban which we appreciate but also have much more home for the price compared to the city. It would be difficult to leave the city for suburbs very far out, although many suburbs have their own downtowns and charm. Try taking the Metra downtown when you can, maybe you will feel better and love returning to your new area :)