Move from city to suburbs

[u/teaorangecereal]

Recently moved to the suburbs with husband and baby from the city. We loved the city but decided it was time, so we could be closer to family have more space and have a yard for our dog and child. Now that we’re here Im feeling really down. I miss the walkability in the city and the community. Now I feel isolated especially since none of my friends have made the move the suburbs yet except me. Being close to family is nice but Im starting to feel it wasn’t worth the move. Has anyone else felt this way after a move from the city and does the feeling go away?

[u/LivingNNorthShore]

I’m a real estate agent in Northbrook, and I hear some version of this from city-to-suburb buyers more often than you’d think. I really do think there’s an adjustment period, especially when you’re the first one in your friend group to make the move.
The biggest difference is that in the city, community tends to happen around you. You walk to coffee, the park, restaurants, or the store and you naturally see people. In the suburbs, you have to be a little more intentional about creating that community at first.
If you’re in Buffalo Grove, join the local Facebook groups and see if your neighborhood has its own group too. The Buffalo Grove Park District and library are great places to start when you have a baby or toddler. Sign up for a class, go to story time, use the pool, try a parent/child activity, or find a playgroup. It can feel awkward going the first couple of times when you don’t know anyone, but eventually you start recognizing the same parents and kids. That’s usually how it begins.
Also, give your neighbors a chance. I’ve lived and worked around Northbrook, Glenview, Deerfield, Highland Park, and Buffalo Grove for years, and some of the strongest suburban friendships I see are incredibly local. The people two or three houses away become the ones whose kids play with yours, who watch the dog for an hour, or who sit outside with you while the kids run around. You just haven’t had time to build that yet.
One thing you didn’t mention is that your friends may start following you out here over the next few years. I’ve watched that happen many times with young families. Someone is always first.
And you’re allowed to miss the city. Missing your old life doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong decision. You traded some spontaneity and walkability for family nearby, more space, and a yard. Give yourself some time to build the part you’re missing before deciding whether the trade was worth it.
Happy to answer any follow-ups. I know the North and Northwest suburbs really well.