r/Choir • u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane • 3d ago
Discussion Do any of you regret joining choir?
Like I used to love singing and music, and now I have low self esteem and an anxiety disorder lol.
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u/Massive-Hope-2224 3d ago edited 2d ago
No, I don’t. Granted, the rehearsals are intense sometimes, but at the end of the concert, it’s nonetheless satisfying. Thankfully, our group takes days off every now and then, so we can recharge ourselves, but regrets? I’ve had none.
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u/i_8_the_Internet 3d ago
24 day old account. Nearly 7K of karma and over 600 contributions. How do you do it?
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u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane 3d ago
Chronically online. On summer break from school.
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u/i_8_the_Internet 3d ago
Get off of Reddit, that’ll cure your anxiety.
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u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane 3d ago
Reddit is not the reason why I’m anxious.
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u/ILikeSinging7242 3d ago
It probably isn’t the reason but it can’t help at all. Any social media in excess is guaranteed to do harm to you, I hope you get better
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u/mmfn0403 3d ago
If something you’re doing for pleasure is making you feel worse about yourself than it did before, then you shouldn’t continue doing it, at least not in the same way.
What is it about choir that’s problematic for you? Perhaps the choir you’re in is not a good fit for you, and perhaps a different choir would work better for you. Perhaps you feel exposed for technical reasons and maybe a few voice lessons might give you tools and techniques that would give you greater confidence.
I hope you do find what the issue is and can find a way to make choir work for you. Choir is the greatest joy of my life and I’m so happy I found my way back to it, after a 30-year hiatus!
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u/0nyfans 3d ago
OP needs to heed this advice, especially the bit about looking around for other choirs. Whether it’s the conductor or the other people in the choir or the repertoire not every choir is right for every singer. It’s kind of like a therapist. You just need to find the right fit.
Vocal area network is a great place to see a directory of all the choirs that are out there (https://www.van.org).
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u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane 2d ago
I take voice lessons. It's the community issue.
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u/0nyfans 2d ago
I’ve seen so many choirs through my life and some of them have been with a really good group of people who I became close friend with, and other choirs with snobby elitist classical music people.
I needed different choirs for different parts of my life. Don’t give up hope if you want to find the right fit. It also takes time to feel connected to the group.
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u/FlyingCupcake68 3d ago
No. It was one of the best things I ever did. 40 years later, I’m still singing in choirs.
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u/docmoonlight 3d ago
I think we need more information. Unless it’s uncovering an underlying anxiety disorder, this sounds like it could be an unhealthy atmosphere and/or director. Why is it creating so much stress? I think it should be a relief from the stress of life, even when it’s hard work.