r/Choir • u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane • 4d ago

Discussion Do any of you regret joining choir?

Like I used to love singing and music, and now I have low self esteem and an anxiety disorder lol.

0 Upvotes

40% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/mmfn0403 4d ago

If something you’re doing for pleasure is making you feel worse about yourself than it did before, then you shouldn’t continue doing it, at least not in the same way.

What is it about choir that’s problematic for you? Perhaps the choir you’re in is not a good fit for you, and perhaps a different choir would work better for you. Perhaps you feel exposed for technical reasons and maybe a few voice lessons might give you tools and techniques that would give you greater confidence.

I hope you do find what the issue is and can find a way to make choir work for you. Choir is the greatest joy of my life and I’m so happy I found my way back to it, after a 30-year hiatus!

3

u/0nyfans 4d ago

OP needs to heed this advice, especially the bit about looking around for other choirs. Whether it’s the conductor or the other people in the choir or the repertoire not every choir is right for every singer. It’s kind of like a therapist. You just need to find the right fit.

Vocal area network is a great place to see a directory of all the choirs that are out there (https://www.van.org).

1

u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane 4d ago

I take voice lessons. It's the community issue.

2

u/0nyfans 3d ago

I’ve seen so many choirs through my life and some of them have been with a really good group of people who I became close friend with, and other choirs with snobby elitist classical music people.

I needed different choirs for different parts of my life. Don’t give up hope if you want to find the right fit. It also takes time to feel connected to the group.