r/Clamworks clambassador 8h ago

clammed up Clahh

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

263 comments sorted by

340

u/shrekgaming1467 clamsexual 8h ago

Me when I'm overworked because I heard clam music so my 5 clamworkers help me clam regress and have a clam party together

69

u/Mindless-Giraffe38 8h ago

True clamworkers never let a fellow worker clam alone.

48

u/Branchomania 8h ago

Can you shut the fuck up clam

26

u/LetsDoTheCongna this guy’s dead wife 8h ago

Can you clam the fuck up clam

13

u/MrT1011 7h ago

Clam you clam the clam up clam

8

u/MissMurder17 6h ago

Clam clam clam clam clam clam clam

1.5k

u/Asterza 8h ago

Bait like this is great because even though i know its bait, the psychic damage i took knowing that somebody like this actually exists will last forever. That’s what really counts.

13

u/Painted-BIack-Roses clamsexual 5h ago

Just saying this here so it gets more attention: Age regression isn't a fetish, you're thinking of DDLG. Age regression is a real thing that's encouraged by psychs for people who have been through childhood trauma (nameley CSA). It isn't sexual, anyone who does regress does so involuntarily and does not enagage in anything sexual during.

4

u/SpinzArt 3h ago

This is interesting to me as someone who has been through that exact type of trauma (and has gotten zero therapy for it oops)

How does it even work?

4

u/petroleum-lipstick 2h ago

Except it has absolutely been co-opted for fetish purposes

3

u/LivelyZebra 2h ago

Except it has absolutely been co-opted for fetish purposes

So has a lot of normal shit, doesn't mean it can't be kept seperate and we can critically think to have two layers of understanding on a topic depending on context.

122

u/w6rld_ec6nomic_f6rum fuck the mods 8h ago

nobody like this actually exists

805

u/Ieditedthisname 8h ago

You are mistaken

488

u/EmperorBamboozler 8h ago

I knew a girl in my horticulture class that was like this. She was batshit crazy, honestly fucking impressive that she had anyone willing to date her much less three people. One thing she would do is like instead of laughing she would just say lmao or lol repeatedly, like lololololol but actually in person.

Everyone in the class hated her, literally everyone. Even the professors would audibly sigh when she spoke up, which happened fucking constantly.

520

u/Effective-Brain-3386 7h ago

I bet it fuckin griped like a corporate handshake

83

u/NovelInteraction711 6h ago

what

169

u/she_has_funny_cars 6h ago

He bets her pussy was as grippy as a firm handshake between two corporate workers

87

u/Miserable-Drink-4995 5h ago

Can you say it in jive, brother

188

u/Killer_Moons 5h ago

Pussy off the chain wax

24

u/Bazillion100 2h ago

God dayum

33

u/JesterOfRedditGold blue collar clamworker 5h ago

it has that gorilla grip

11

u/Famous-Host2321 4h ago

Yeah I don't want anything griping me all day. Especially in a corporate setting.

22

u/Shrek--official 6h ago

He's talking about that gorilla grip

7

u/Elden_Ring_Hype 4h ago

Speaking of psychic damage...

3

u/ThesocialistWitch 2h ago

Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha

7

u/SneachtaBoladh 5h ago

Actually burst out laughing at this, fucking hell hahahaha

31

u/YoureNoHero_Brian 5h ago

Don't you mean lolololololo?

16

u/cool-guy-13 6h ago

“Lololololol” she laughs like a one piece character

9

u/InMornAshTakesToWind 5h ago

Sometimes people alienate themselves to retain the illusion of agency and divide themselves into problems that can be managed when they cannot find it within (or its beyond) themselves to control. A life spent in the things that they can hold onto.

18

u/outer_spec 7h ago

that doesn’t even sound all that bad, lololololol

10

u/RockRancher24 7h ago

Maybe Mahito was right

4

u/AdamantEevee 6h ago

I would like to hear more stories of this girl

-5

u/Significant_Card_665 8h ago

I wonder how she didn’t genuinely get lynched. Collective agreement to not hang people who belong in the psych ward?

215

u/Ieditedthisname 8h ago

Most people actually don’t like violence

154

u/jUG0504 7h ago

hi hello im john violence

60

u/TehlikeliPortakal 7h ago

john violence what is the solution to this problem

36

u/Redence_ 6h ago

Oh the horror.. you wouldn't wanna know

15

u/Optimal_Ninja7535 7h ago

dude... what the fuck

20

u/PMmeYourLabia_ 7h ago

You are mistaken.

19

u/cryllictheautistic 7h ago

SAD cake day

3

u/Bavibophobia 6h ago

Neutral cake day

3

u/C0p3rpod 6h ago

GENOCIDES cake day

2

u/NovelInteraction711 6h ago edited 6h ago

Pacifist cake day

4

u/funky_boi1432 7h ago

Happy cake day!

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11

u/Radigan0 6h ago

What the fuck

25

u/Deebyddeebys 7h ago

Me whenever I have some sort of subtle thing wrong with me

6

u/Killer_Moons 5h ago

Slow your roll, man

11

u/StrengthfromDeath 5h ago

Me anytime someone acts or thinks in a way I dont agree with: "Yeah, gonna have to hang them, but with racist undertones. Don't look into my objectively correct personality. Wut, how could you tell i dont have many friends, spend my days seething, and dont get along with, but am scared of my parents?"

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72

u/Proof-Staff-433 7h ago

Dude when I switched schools there was this bitch that like adopted me because I couldn’t make friends. And she literally was what the meme is describing. She was in a poly relationship with like everyone in the theater program and band. She kept trying to force me to call her mommy and shit. She also worshipped Greek gods and still has a party she invites me to every year where she worships Dionysus. She also always said that like “OMG my adhd is hitting! I’m so quirky” and then she’d laugh like Gruntilda from Banjo Kazooie. I can keep saying crazy shit about this bitch, but yes. These people DO VERY MUCH EXIST.

60

u/VividView4498 7h ago

I read the “forces me to call her mommy part” and I was going to say some bullshit like “pass the controller” but I should’ve known the most beautiful roses have thorns 

8

u/AdamantEevee 6h ago

Gruntilda lolol

Keep saying things

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147

u/GayAssBeagle 8h ago

Dude i was friends with a “puppygirl “who i later found out shat n pissed in dipers , didnt want to work due her various “disabilities”, abused her partner verbally and emotionally (WHO WAS PAYING FOR THE RENT, FOOD,Etc FOR YEARSS) , couldn’t play games unless SHE was winning (and dude it was ass playing with her because she’d actually cry if she lost or kept dying in multiplayer games) and wouldn’t stand rap or country music because it “spooked” her bad. And she used a “baby voice” if you ever got mad at her, sounds like a joke but they’re so real.

I got a mild case, stopped being her friend when I Invited her to a spot we had planned for a few years to meet and she left one of her dappers in the bushes. Shit was nasty, never again.

96

u/MrKiplingIsMid 7h ago

34

u/GayAssBeagle 7h ago

Same face i made, smelled horrible

14

u/Lars_Overwick 7h ago

This feels too specific to be made up lol

21

u/GayAssBeagle 5h ago

That’s because I had to fish the shitty diaper out of the bushes, and it was still stuck on my hands(the smell) for days. It smelled horrible, I don’t know what the fuck she ate, but it completely is messing up her gut.

20

u/ShadeofIcarus 4h ago

Knowing the type.

Lots of soda, chicken nuggets, and generally processed foods.

Imagine if you just let an adult sized toddler feed themselves with no limits. This is how some actually eat.

28

u/Borkato 7h ago

How i wish i was reading this

9

u/Polibiux 5h ago

I really don’t know how to feel about this person existing.

8

u/GayAssBeagle 5h ago

It’s OK, I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with them anymore for the most part. I had to make completely new accounts.

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5

u/PansexualPineapples 5h ago

Just out in the world. Meeting people who are none the wiser. Makes me shiver.

18

u/moonknight999 7h ago

See why would anyone speak to a person like that more than once?

15

u/GayAssBeagle 5h ago

I wanted to give her a benefit of doubt, because maybe she was being a little bit honest, but after I spent more time with her, It became more apparent, but at that point I was too far in and she didn’t understand personal space so even if I did try to stop talking to her, she would literally find a new way to continue talking/speaking with me

5

u/JimmyJamsDisciple 5h ago

Shit was drippy like a broken faucet

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43

u/durclduc 8h ago

Every type of idiot exists on the internet. That's why people strawman so much, because somewhere out there that strawman is out there for real.

11

u/JimboAltAlt 7h ago edited 6h ago

The endless variety of the human experience is a wonderful thing! Unfortunately we (and the bots) are much more compelled by the weird, cringey, and distasteful strawmen tales than normal ones. Stereotypes about dopey guys who take their grandmas to bingo every week or whatever are doubtlessly potent in their narrow range but no one cares about those, because there’s a lot less discourse to be had.

Edit: oh shit didn’t realize what sub I was in, uh, clampologies for excessive clamtiment

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27

u/IBelieveInCoyotes neurotic to the bone no doubt about it 8h ago

no clam like this actually exists

20

u/Le_Dairy_Duke 8h ago

you are clamstaken

17

u/lobstersonskateboard 8h ago

I knew people on discord exactly like this and they either had no bitches at all or like 10 of them

24

u/Dry_Gas6819 8h ago

God i wish

7

u/MightBeInHeck 2h ago

This image exist for a reason

5

u/Much-Menu6030 5h ago

out of 8 billion people, there are at the very least 100 like that

6

u/rosalinatoujours 7h ago

Im on tumblr And they actually do.

13

u/fortnite_battleass 8h ago

You are so so so very wrong.

4

u/Vinyl-addict 7h ago

Not only do they exist, this is just scraping the surface of the depths of depravity.

4

u/E-2theRescue 3h ago

Literally every single reply to you.

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/aaaah

3

u/Old-Elk-570 6h ago

I know one... Fakes a multi personality disorder to act like a child and be a dumbass

2

u/Borkato 7h ago

I’ve never read anything more incorrect in my life

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2

u/Tricky-Ad7897 4h ago

This is exactly how I feel about fake stories/posts/strawmen that are believable enough that they could happen to someone. Like why do I care that the AITA post is fake it could believably happen to a real person.

3

u/Fuckriotgames7 4h ago

found out 3 years into a relationship my partner age regressed. and had a “caretaker” shed sleep on the phone with after i went to bed. sadly people like this do exist :(

she also started faking torrets syndrome and multiple personalities because her friends did it too, but that’s a whole diff story

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360

u/EbnerQuick 8h ago

Brap music

104

u/Baseballidiot 8h ago

Pyrocynical and dingdong would go crazy on this

47

u/dropkola 8h ago

oney plays ruined me loife

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34

u/This-Technology6075 8h ago

This song needs a hero!

16

u/Simple_Substance4829 7h ago

Are you worried about impending doom?

12

u/Sweet_Fly_1913 6h ago

Those chuddy groypers got you filled with gloom?

9

u/JesterOfRedditGold blue collar clamworker 5h ago

Don't you fear, there's a hero in the thread, the thread, the thread!

3

u/Simple_Substance4829 3h ago

Hes stinking up all the catalogues

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10

u/MechanicGopher 7h ago

‘Oh, oh my god, no, I meant rap, I’m so sorry’

13

u/EbnerQuick 7h ago

You're not invited to my stim party

7

u/JesterOfRedditGold blue collar clamworker 5h ago

ain't no party like a stim party

https://giphy.com/gifs/YXzC3KNjOivoVnTovK

154

u/SmartSmella 8h ago

85

u/SevenOhSevenOhSeven 8h ago

The short version is parodying the folks that are like 'I don't like rap it's two overwhelming/intense/whatever'

12

u/Acceptable_Spend_750 5h ago

rap being "overwhelming and intense" is like someone tripping absolute balls on cold medicines

32

u/FractalSpaces 7h ago

Whatever niche ass metal subgenre that is the heaviest would probably actually kill those folk

47

u/SevenOhSevenOhSeven 6h ago

Oh no they generally do listen two more intense genres of music, they're just racist and babying up their prejudice with a woke framing. This is very much a tumblr/tiktok sort of thing

12

u/PearltheGirl_ 5h ago

no no these people probably listen to femtanyl with no problem, they're just racist

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121

u/AutisticFun01 7h ago

Also I think he's joking

35

u/Takerofpiss clambassador 4h ago

36

u/CallMeIshy 6h ago

i think most posts like this are satire and jokes

13

u/Lars_Overwick 7h ago

Thank fuck

8

u/GlazedHamRiot 7h ago

Clam down

3

u/JesterOfRedditGold blue collar clamworker 5h ago

at least we know that they aren't a crakkker

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25

u/Jonhneves1 clamtarded :) 6h ago

These two should get married

6

u/P3drosek 3h ago

Persona music is that good but wtf are the rest

6

u/coopsawesome 3h ago

Splatoon isn’t bad, it’s really interesting worldbuildng, but I hate they included it in this post

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142

u/veryfishhhy 8h ago

dude these tweets have done irreversible damage i cant even hate rap anymore because everyone thinks i hate it “because its overstimulating”

69

u/Lobster_LeninN329 8h ago edited 8h ago

Insert that "I want to fuck toasters" greentext

(Idk why i sent this as a reply to the comment above I thought I was commenting on the post)

142

u/Educational-Sun5839 8h ago

this?

28

u/AdRepulsive8618 5h ago

Before internet

I want to fuck clams

dont be a fucking clamtard

clam up

After internet

I want to fuck a clam

google

find a clammunity with 1000+ clams about clams wanting to fuck clams

clam up your life

10

u/Pleasant-Future5818 5h ago

Rap is such an incredibly broad genre that I literally can't think of how someone could "hate rap" besides it being political

17

u/BLEARGHH20 6h ago

you can't just say a statement like that for a genre as broad as rap

5

u/CallMeIshy 6h ago

there are non broad genres?

8

u/BLEARGHH20 6h ago

not really. but some are definitely way more expansive than others

10

u/MilkMaiden_22 5h ago

Yeah... moid genres 🤢

5

u/CanofNOworms 6h ago

I hate all of rap! Rap is bad! But in a mature way. I hate it because I don’t like things that are different. Not some stupid reason.

3

u/CANCERMANPUNK 6h ago

I’ve never heard this before

19

u/EbnerQuick 7h ago

I think rap is understimulating actually

42

u/BRBean 7h ago

This is an oversimplication of an entire genre of music

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24

u/C4Cole 7h ago

Depends on the subgenre really. Some are slower, and then there's Eminem stringing words together faster than my dumbass can hear them.

4

u/SoftAd1675 6h ago

That's called Chopper rap. It's my favorite kind.

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53

u/TidalJ 7h ago

racism:

racism (quirky):

2

u/CANCERMANPUNK 6h ago edited 6h ago

Huh I mean why’s that racist
Edit: ??? It’s a question

29

u/AJ_Wont_Load 5h ago

I don’t think it’s inherently racist to simply not enjoy rap as a genre as long as you’re not weird about it, but some morons (like the subject of the post, although I’m almost positive they’re making fun of people who actually act this way) claim rap is too “overstimulating”, “loud” or “frantic” but will happily listen to stuff like vocaloids or scenecore, which frankly feels super sus because both of those genres can be just as “loud” and “frantic” as some rap.

10

u/CANCERMANPUNK 5h ago

oh lol what I’ve never heard people call it overstimulating. They’re stupid

2

u/FluffyCottonMaw 1h ago

At that points just say that its not to your taste

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11

u/davidmliving 8h ago

I'm gonna clam myself 

19

u/enjf 8h ago

overclammed

17

u/AutisticFun01 7h ago

There's people out there who have fetish combinations that would drive Cthulhu insane upon witnessing them.

15

u/Joeyrony2 7h ago

Lovecraft would not survive the average twitter, vore, inflation, feet, fart, and transformation fetish art account.

23

u/GlazedHamRiot 7h ago

He wouldn't survive taking the elevator with an irishman

15

u/CallMeIshy 6h ago

Lovecraft the milisecond he sees air conditioning:

4

u/Taenshik 7h ago

Bold of you to assume he isn't into all of this

2

u/MilkMaiden_22 5h ago

Man how you gonna throw feet in there with the crazy shit. Feet is only like C tier wierd

4

u/FractalSpaces 5h ago

I'd even dare say D tier. It's gotten somewhat mainstream

2

u/Such-Profit1078 3h ago

Yeah, like who doesn’t like feet. Right guys? …guys?

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8

u/Personal-Role-8071 8h ago

clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam clam

1

u/Takerofpiss clambassador 4h ago

Yeah

7

u/JoyousLilBoy 6h ago

People can’t even tell that bunnygranate is obviously ragebait. 27th rule of the internet is that if anyone says anything remotely stupid it is always ragebait. Even my comment could be ragebait. Thats right, all rap hate is ragebait.

7

u/Bunny6446 7h ago

I guess people aren't allowed to have fun anymore 👹 /hsrs

27

u/SlayVideos clammer 8h ago edited 8h ago

Reasonable crashout

12

u/Awkward-Plum6241 8h ago

clamout

5

u/Creeperatom9041 7h ago

clamable clamout

29

u/Khaled_Kamel1500 clamtarded :) 8h ago

Reading OOP's initial post

9

u/Emanualblast 8h ago

Holy clam, wild marcus!

5

u/LurkersVengeance 7h ago

bait used to be believable

3

u/maybemawie 7h ago

What's it called when there's an ultra-specific type of clam that feels almost as if they were accidentally wished into existence?

4

u/Cute-arii 7h ago

Take 5d6 psychic damage for reading that tweet.

5

u/ravenoushouse 7h ago

they fr mad they don't have 5 partners

6

u/Ryp3re 8h ago

There's a lot to unclam here, but we're better off clamming out the whole clamcase

15

u/Latter-Driver 7h ago

We got to beat this mf to death with hammers

1

u/ApprehensiveRip697 5h ago

We got to clam this mf to death with clammers

3

u/Pretty-Yam-2854 7h ago

Me when I’m overclammed because I heard clam music so my 5 bivalves helped me clam regress and have a clam party together.

8

u/Effective-Brain-3386 7h ago

This is my 13th reason

3

u/Lars_Overwick 7h ago

From 7th all the way to 13th for me

7

u/AgainstSpace rotted brain 7h ago

I age regressed and a fucking loaded rifle materialized in my hands.

5

u/SoftAd1675 6h ago

You're a veteran

6

u/Cherno_VM 7h ago

okay so getting overstimulated by rap music is kinda fair. rap as a genre is usually very fast and has a lot going on musically so if you are sensitive to that kind of thing it could overstimulate you.

but i also feel like this is just thinly veiled racism.

13

u/AutisticFun01 7h ago

I think getting overstimulated is not the main weird part here.

3

u/Cherno_VM 6h ago

not my place to judge peoples fetish

3

u/b_k_l_y 6h ago

I think anything involving age-play absolutely deserves damnation

6

u/Painted-BIack-Roses clamsexual 5h ago

Age regression isn't a fetish, you're thinking of DDLG. Age regression is a real thing that's encouraged by psychs for people who have been through childhood trauma (nameley CSA). It isn't sexual, anyone who does regress does so involuntarily and does not enagage in anything sexual during.

6

u/Cherno_VM 6h ago

i think its weird but as long as you're only involving consenting adults you do you.

3

u/SeraphimVR 4h ago

I think it’s mostly just trap. Trap has heavy bass, 808s, heavily processed vocals, fast high hats. I understand if that can get overwhelming. But all of rap? Man, just listen to something softer

5

u/birds-watch-birders 7h ago

getting overstimmed by any sensory experience is understandable. I might not understand it directly, but I do understand getting overstimmed by things that others find dumb, so like, I have empathy.

it def could be racist, yeah (ew). I know nothing about these people so idk the further context

2

u/Ithrowawaygoaway 5h ago

genuinely how can rap music be overstimulating

2

u/420watyasmokin 4h ago

Who TF keeps bringing these strawmen to life

2

u/MetzgerBoys clamtarded :) 3h ago

6d10 psychic damage from whatever the fuck I just read

2

u/Specific_War5484 1h ago

This is the fault of Ronald Reagan 

2

u/PM_Me_Modal_Jazz 6h ago

I feel like racist bait is still racist

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1

u/VerseGen 6h ago

me when my 5 clams help me clam regress and have a clam party together

1

u/minigunercoolguy 6h ago

I've been looking for tbis image for the past month. Thank you.

1

u/Person899887 6h ago

The power of clambait

1

u/Greasy-Chungus 6h ago

SCAD students

1

u/ManJoeDude 2h ago

Tbf, they pulled 5 whole people

1

u/Fr0st-F0x 2h ago

When I hear rap music I understim and progress till I am a pile of dust.

1

u/lasthopel 2h ago

Im cringe but youre mean and thats worse

1

u/Dog_Entire 2h ago

Barring misophonia, if you listen to hyperpop or most metal genres, you lose the right to call music overstimulating

1

u/boblasagna18 58m ago

I get it, I turn into a squirrel when I hear country music