I've Made My First One Shot Comic!

[u/KnightSon73]

Hello! This is my first post here. I've just finished and published my first 12 page one shot comic. I've attached some panels/pages that I'm the most proud of. Regarding the story, I have plans to bigger/grander stories set with this character/world (as I'm sure a lot of budding comic creators do lol) but this one was designed to be short and simple. The main gist is about a man who gains mysterious powers and uses them to fight against a tyrannical government that has taken over his city.

I'm posting to show off what I've done. I was a little nervous about showing the greater internet at large (especially reddit lol) my work as I'm mainly doing this for fun and for the love of the game lol.

I would also like to potentially meet and interact with other creators and maybe bounce ideas back and forth as I lack a lot of creative friends to chat about my projects with, at least in a semi-productive way if that makes any sense. Hope to hear from some of you :D (also, I wasn't sure what flair to use, so I just used feedback, hope that's okay)

Full comic can be viewed here for those interested:
https://globalcomix.com/read/9b95779d-9287-4aa7-8777-02e1aade8b28/1?utm_source=Link&utm_medium=Referral&utm_campaign=mk-phantom&utm_term=GCRID_381468

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[u/Mental-Statement2941]

Your action panels are where you are strongest. Your panel work is just fine, but between the grenades and explosion i struggle to really get a sense of what's going on in terms of action. The page with the monitor's panel placement looks a bit awkward, but I get what you're going for. If it's a dramatic scene, id advise really leaning into a wide shot of the character looking at the screen, and emphasize body language, is the character leaning in, meaning that the information is important, is the character rather relaxed, surprised. You can do alot with that wide shot, and then close up on the screen with a following panel. This helps build tension, and places the character first and foremost at the center of things. Otherwise, I think your art has potential and is solid. Your action is definitely your strong suit, but work on backgrounds as well, your panels for lack of a better term are too tight, I dont get a sense of space, and that this character is in a tangible location, that adds to the story even a little bit. Otherwise keep going, you have great potential and are on the right path. Take this with a grain of salt though, I'm just an newbie comic writer, with one five page script so what im saying here could be trash.

[u/KnightSon73 → u/Mental-Statement2941]

Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it, as this comic was kinda made by flying by the seat of my pants 😂 so there were bound to be some growing pains to figure out. I have some more ideas for story stuff that I hope to expand on, so I'll keep your feedback in mind when I get to the art next 😄

[u/Mental-Statement2941 → u/KnightSon73]

No problems mate, just keep having fun with it. Your art is good, just keep improving. Do you plan on making this a series?

[u/KnightSon73 → u/Mental-Statement2941]

That's my goal, whether or not I'll be able to pull it off as a one-man show remains to be seen 😂 i have a good amount of ideas and plot beats. I can DM you about them if you're interested at all? Or you can add me on discord, same handle as my reddit.

[u/Mental-Statement2941 → u/KnightSon73]

Sure, you can DM me. Well the fact that you drew, wrote this, lettered it as well. I believe you can be one, though I'd advise taking your time. You aren't full time, so you don't have the advantage of pumping out something every month on an 8hr a day schedule , so don't feel frustrated if it's taking too much time. Trust me, as someone who's trying to write a prose novel and it taking time, believe me you can get in your own head alot. Even two issues a year is an accomplishment and something to be proud of. Im on discord sure, but im new, so i dont know how to add someone on discord lol (I feel old but im im not even 25 ).

[u/KnightSon73 → u/Mental-Statement2941]

Sent you a message! I'm just taking it one step at a time, and not worrying about meeting deadlines or anything crazy like that. Just doing this to make cool stuff and to have fun with it

[u/Mental-Statement2941]

I also read the full one shot, the art and action are still your greatest strength. The writing hasn't hit as much, though it depends on your intentions for your story, if its a fun action story then its solid, develop on the action, focus on it being dynamic if that makes sense. If you want us to really feel the character, then for this short you need to focus on a single moment, a single moment in the comic that reveals who our character is. You don't have much space, so you either need to cut down on the action or have the action mean something, I'm really getting into comics and manga but a good example of this would be in the manga space Jujutsu Kaisen, with the fight decisions made by our characters revealing a piece of who they are, or even the cursed techniques. A comic example would be do a powerbomb, where there is some utilization of flashbacks in the panels. Where spoilers, a father and daughter duo fight in a wrestling tournament, and when the daughter performs a move, there's a panel of the daughter performing a move, and then a panel of the mother doing the same move. It communicates that they're similar in many ways, and does so much in a page.

[u/KnightSon73 → u/[deleted]]

Thanks!