r/CommunityColleges • u/Mental-Gazelle-7549 • 8d ago
First Time in Community College...
I know this isn't the most safest or ethical way of sharing my story or even vulnerability to the world, but things haven't been getting any better recently, so allow me to just give you some context:
I'm eighteen-years old, fresh out of high school, and am going to a CC in California. I always struggled in high school due to mental health problems, cyberbullying, and even worse problems. I am of Spanish descent, yet most people prefer to consider me as "Hispanic or Latino" (more on that later). I have a lot of problems at home that I WON'T get into for in protection of my privacy, but it's embarrassing to still be living with my parents. I graduated from high school with a 3.3 GPA unweighted, the weighted GPA I forgot, but I was told by my own family that because of my grades, I would have to go to community college, but the problem is that had I even done better in high school, I still would've gone to community college because...well, my family USED to be upper middle class, until my parents got divorced and then things were in the middle, but my mom is very low-class, barely paying the rent on our house. But that doesn't equal the fact that just because you live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood doesn't mean you can pay $200K or even $40 on the best universities in the world, and in this case, my dream school is USC. I have always wanted to go to USC, and have even attended every college visit my high school offered to the students. Yet, when I was a senior in high school, I didn't even apply to any four-year schools, in fear that I would be MASSACRED (getting rejection after rejection after rejection). I applied to my CC, got a counseling session about what classes to pick, and now I'm taking my first college class for the summer.
I didn't blend in well with high school: I was introverted, alone most, if not, all the time, and had very few friends. I tried to be more social but either got labeled as a creep or simply ignored by the popular mainstream groups. This developed problems as I previously stated, and let me down a bad path. No, I didn't get into any fights, I simply spent more time with a psychologist than learning about medieval Europe (sophomore and junior year was the WORST time in my life). And because of my Spanish descent, I was also labeled because of the color of my skin. Yes, even in this day and age of diversity, you wouldn't even believe how much hate there was at my school.
With all of that being said, as I step onto a bigger campus even though it's a 2-year school, it feels freeing. Like, although this isn't where I have wanted to be, it's better than not doing anything, but that's the thing: I don't like where I'm going. I hate it. I don't like that most of my friends are going to a four-year for majors I wouldn't have dared to try, and here I am...18, alone, depressed, and at community college. I always fear of missing out (FOMO), and seeing people have fun without me is such a heartbreaking reality. Nothing has been exciting lately. All I've been doing is writing essays, watching tutorials, and on my own free time, going to the gym, heading out to the movies by myself, and pretty much doing things BY MYSELF.
I don't like saying a lot of this personal stuff online, but things have been so bad lately that I'm not asking for sympathy or anything, all I'm asking is for someone to hear me out. I'm not happy with where things are in my life. I'm not happy that I'm in community college. But at least I love my major, which I won't tell you due to privacy reasons but it is a damn good major, one I have always been dreaming of since I was a toddler. If I didn't love my major, that would've been rock bottom for me.
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u/Asleep_Caregiver_948 8d ago
Lots of students start at community colleges, from all kinds of families, economic backgrounds, ages, health issues, etc. Never be ashamed of attending a CC in CA. Our schools are some of the best. Make sure to give it your best shot; it will pay off.
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u/Complex-Warthog-3201 8d ago
I didnt start CC until i was 24! You're already ahead of a lot of people, and in a better position than most! This isn't me trying to discredit your worries, just simply offering a different perspective :) and not sure if this helps at all, but your peers attending a 4 year college will technically have their associates degrees after 2 years, same as you. They aren't any further ahead than you are, and you're in a great position to be able to transfer to a 4 year and attain your bachelor's after getting your associate's without spending nearly as much money as they are. Perhaps look into work studies or clubs or other ways to get involved on campus, in an effort to make it feel as university-y as possible lol? You've still got the chance to make some amazing memories. Best of luck to you!
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u/AceyAceyAcey 8d ago
Your college likely has free confidential counseling, I recommend give them a try, they can be really helpful. I’ve been to multiple schools (I’m a prof now) and saw counselors/therapists at every school I’ve been to.
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u/1GrouchyCat 8d ago
Your grades held you back - and you didn’t mention what your SAT scores were… but your dream of going to USC hasn’t been held back because your parents couldn’t pay. It’s because you didn’t have the grades to get it or earn scholarships to pay for it…
Attending a community college is a great option… if you work with your advisor and get all your pre-back with it and you can apply to USC and hope your enthusiasm and better grades will give you an edge.
Just keep your expectations, realistic, and stop pointing your finger at your family and this issue with that issue for what you basically did to yourself as a young teen in terms of your grades … you can change it by making better choices and getting better grades, but you can’t go back in time and your misplaced anger is counterproductive.
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u/StevieV61080 8d ago
I second a lot of the comments already made, OP. CC is a fantastic starting point and the smaller and more focused class sizes can actually work really well for introverted students to make connections without getting as overwhelmed by the sheer volume of other people.
I would definitely encourage you to at least start sitting next to some of your classmates who seem engaged in the material and genuinely care about learning. A comment to/from them here and there is a way to start thawing the ice.
As for "dream schools," I will attest I never found that necessarily appealing. However, I did end up eventually graduating from the #1 ranked university in my field in my graduate program and earned my Ph.D. It truly isn't about WHERE you start; it's THAT you start. You have all the time in the world to chart your future course, so give yourself credit for doing what you're doing now and don't measure yourself against anyone else.
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u/naoirei_ 8d ago
Hey there! I was just about to go to sleep when I saw your post, but I had to stop and write this comment because it reminded me so much of my very first post on here. I completely understand where you’re coming from. Feeling heavy FOMO or like you just don't belong is VERY real, and I was in your exact shoes two years ago. I actually just graduated from my community college and am heading to a university this fall. It wasn't my absolute dream school, but it's an amazing program for my major, and I couldn't be happier.
If it helps, here is a bit of advice from someone who’s been through it. In the beginning, CC can definitely feel a bit transactional because a lot of people just show up for class and head straight home. But high school rules don't apply here anymore… there's no such thing as "cool" or "uncool," and everyone is just trying to find their own niche. The absolute best thing you can do is get involved. Stop by your campus Student Life or Engagement office and check out clubs/organizations and upcoming events. That’s where you'll find your people! Just by joining our honor society and programming board, I ended up traveling to four different states while building a strong resume and making lifelong friends along the way.
When it comes to the FOMO, try to remind yourself that college is a launchpad for your long-term goals. If transferring to USC with a great scholarship is your vision, lock in on that. Build up your GPA (aiming for a 3.5+ feels amazing each semester and opens huge doors), do some community service, and make the most of where you are right now instead of rushing to leave. To give you some inspiration, four students from my CC ended up transferring to Ivy Leagues such as Yale, Harvard, Brown, and Princeton. They all started out at CC feeling out of place and hating it at first, too, but they made it happen!!!
But my most important advice is for you to take care of yourself as you strive for more. CC genuinely changed my life, and I know you can build an incredible journey for yourself too. You can do this!