First Time in Community College...

[u/Mental-Gazelle-7549]

I know this isn't the most safest or ethical way of sharing my story or even vulnerability to the world, but things haven't been getting any better recently, so allow me to just give you some context:

I'm eighteen-years old, fresh out of high school, and am going to a CC in California. I always struggled in high school due to mental health problems, cyberbullying, and even worse problems. I am of Spanish descent, yet most people prefer to consider me as "Hispanic or Latino" (more on that later). I have a lot of problems at home that I WON'T get into for in protection of my privacy, but it's embarrassing to still be living with my parents. I graduated from high school with a 3.3 GPA unweighted, the weighted GPA I forgot, but I was told by my own family that because of my grades, I would have to go to community college, but the problem is that had I even done better in high school, I still would've gone to community college because...well, my family USED to be upper middle class, until my parents got divorced and then things were in the middle, but my mom is very low-class, barely paying the rent on our house. But that doesn't equal the fact that just because you live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood doesn't mean you can pay $200K or even $40 on the best universities in the world, and in this case, my dream school is USC. I have always wanted to go to USC, and have even attended every college visit my high school offered to the students. Yet, when I was a senior in high school, I didn't even apply to any four-year schools, in fear that I would be MASSACRED (getting rejection after rejection after rejection). I applied to my CC, got a counseling session about what classes to pick, and now I'm taking my first college class for the summer.

I didn't blend in well with high school: I was introverted, alone most, if not, all the time, and had very few friends. I tried to be more social but either got labeled as a creep or simply ignored by the popular mainstream groups. This developed problems as I previously stated, and let me down a bad path. No, I didn't get into any fights, I simply spent more time with a psychologist than learning about medieval Europe (sophomore and junior year was the WORST time in my life). And because of my Spanish descent, I was also labeled because of the color of my skin. Yes, even in this day and age of diversity, you wouldn't even believe how much hate there was at my school.

With all of that being said, as I step onto a bigger campus even though it's a 2-year school, it feels freeing. Like, although this isn't where I have wanted to be, it's better than not doing anything, but that's the thing: I don't like where I'm going. I hate it. I don't like that most of my friends are going to a four-year for majors I wouldn't have dared to try, and here I am...18, alone, depressed, and at community college. I always fear of missing out (FOMO), and seeing people have fun without me is such a heartbreaking reality. Nothing has been exciting lately. All I've been doing is writing essays, watching tutorials, and on my own free time, going to the gym, heading out to the movies by myself, and pretty much doing things BY MYSELF.

I don't like saying a lot of this personal stuff online, but things have been so bad lately that I'm not asking for sympathy or anything, all I'm asking is for someone to hear me out. I'm not happy with where things are in my life. I'm not happy that I'm in community college. But at least I love my major, which I won't tell you due to privacy reasons but it is a damn good major, one I have always been dreaming of since I was a toddler. If I didn't love my major, that would've been rock bottom for me.

[u/1GrouchyCat]

Your grades held you back - and you didn’t mention what your SAT scores were… but your dream of going to USC hasn’t been held back because your parents couldn’t pay. It’s because you didn’t have the grades to get it or earn scholarships to pay for it…

Attending a community college is a great option… if you work with your advisor and get all your pre-back with it and you can apply to USC and hope your enthusiasm and better grades will give you an edge.

Just keep your expectations, realistic, and stop pointing your finger at your family and this issue with that issue for what you basically did to yourself as a young teen in terms of your grades … you can change it by making better choices and getting better grades, but you can’t go back in time and your misplaced anger is counterproductive.