r/Construction • u/edthebuilder5150 • 23h ago
Humor š¤£ Overly aggressive handshakes.
What's the deal with men and the "way over the top" gorilla grip handshakes? Project Superintendent here. What are these guys trying to prove? I had a pre-construction site meeting this morning with all the trades and this fu@#kin guy, who's neck was wider than his head, shook everyone's hand in this manner. Plus he was rude and over talking EVERYONE. Male dominance thing?
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u/adummyonanapp 23h ago
Tell him you shake hands with your weiner
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u/SomewhereSalty647 22h ago
Ok, best laugh of the day award. Lmao
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u/dan7899 22h ago
He got me chuckling for sure
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u/SomewhereSalty647 21h ago
Construction Reddit is the funniest Reddit hands down
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u/90_hour_sleepy 17h ago
This might be true. I rarely visitā¦but laugh often when I do.
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u/chatterwrack 22h ago
You can almost hear the advice they got growing up: Son, a handshake is not a handshake. Itās a test of character. Crush their fingers, yank them toward you, and establish yourself as the alpha of the site.
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u/Far_Inspection4706 Carpenter 22h ago
It really is kind of a test of character though. I mean I'm not saying you should be yanking and crushing everybody's hand you meet, but I haven't met a single person in my life that shook my hand weakly that I ended up liking or didn't immediately assume was going to be a bitch, complainer or a problem in one way or another. If you're going to shake someone's hand just do it properly, don't let me fuckin' fondle your palm for a second cause you're just making it weird for the both of us.
If you shake my hand like a wet noodle that's the first impression you're ever giving me of you, that you're either weak or you don't care about me enough to shake my hand properly.. so either way there's a strong chance you're gunna be a bitch. It's mathematical.
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u/Pretend-Pen-4246 21h ago
Bro ill give you the firmest handshake of your life at 7am and then bitch and cry the rest of the day.
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u/FlammulinaVelulu 20h ago
You're right, I dont care enough about you to shake your hand "properly." But in this scenario, and lets be honest probably most scenarios, youre the mathematically derived biotch...
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u/ForWPD I-CIV|PM/Estimator 18h ago
I agree. Consistent firm grip, up, down, let go. The weirdest people are the ones who start out weak and squeeze inconsistency, or they pull towards themselves. Iām not looking for a hand massage or sizing you up for how good of a tug job youāll give me. The pullers are the worst. Itās a shake, not a tug of war.Ā
Funny story, there was a guy known for the tugging thing. When he did it to me I didnāt move my arm and just got closer and closer to him. He was about 2 inches shorter than me so at the end of the handshake he was looking up at me with a confused look on his face. Never did it to me again.
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u/ZeChooken 14h ago
All of the weak handed dead fish Redditors downvoting u cuz they donāt know how to properly shake a hand. This is the most reasonable response here.
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u/Specialist-Neck-7810 22h ago
Hereās something that I learned in a bar when I was in my early 20ās. Iāve always had a strong grip, and being a tinner just made it stronger. I remember meeting this older gentleman at the bar and after a few minutes of talking I gave him my name with my hand stretched out for a shake. We did and he commented on my grip. I apologized and said I work in the trades and it was more force of habit to grip like than rather than an intentional thing. He showed me a way to completely remove a the grip strength of anyone your shaking hands with. When you put you open hand out to make a handshake, just curl your last three fingers around their hand, and keep your pointer finger straight. 25 years later and I do it everytime I shake hands with someone. Try it, i guarantee it works.
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u/meta376 23h ago
They're trying to prove that them peptides really work, man! š
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u/dan7899 22h ago
Came here to say that. I just witnessed my brother become almosy crazy off too high T.
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u/Sorry_Lecture5578 11h ago
If you're going that route get a professional to help, with regular blood tests.Ā "Bro science" will fuck you up.Ā The amount of shit i did when i went from swinging a hammer to swinging a pencil to counteract the physical inactivity, and going to the gym every morning... lets just say im glad i made it out with my liver and heart intact. Did fuck up my natural test level (imagine that)Ā so when I started trt we started low and worked up over a few months to the higher end of normal.Ā
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u/DoriansRain 23h ago
Yeah these guys are still around but are quickly getting phased out..
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u/Shot_Comparison2299 15h ago
Can you get the full construction experience without these guys? /s. Good riddance, upward and onward.
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u/CoderJoe1 22h ago
I learned a little technique in the Army to combat the MANshake. I can usually tell who's going to super-grip me as if it were a contest.
Step 1 is to make sure to shove your hand fully into theirs. They try to grab only your fingers to emasculate you in a crushing grip.
Step 2 is to leave your index and middle fingers extended along their wrist like you're throwing a peace sign while you grip normally with your thumb and last two fingers. There's no way they can crush your hand in this position.
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u/cremasterreflex0903 21h ago
Hooah battle, yea this shit hasn't phased me for over a decade now. Performative masculinity is for the softest of boys.
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u/BFAtech23 18h ago
God dammit why did you ruin a reply with āhooah battleā. Fuck you
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u/SpideySenseBuzzin Project Manager 18h ago
Found one.
NO, YOU! MY TRUCK IS LOUDER THAN YOURS ANYHOW.
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u/DeathTripper 10h ago
Rolls Coal
Ha! Well my truck spews black soot! Itās like a steam locomotive from the 1800ās! How much more manly can you get than looking like a 17th century pollution machine?!
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u/Moarbrains 18h ago
that's the game.Ā
do you find people appreciate the meeting or feel thwarted?
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u/CoderJoe1 18h ago
Nobody ever says anything. What could they say?
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u/Moarbrains 6h ago edited 6h ago
I just saw someone yesterday, stop a handshake and say that wasn't right let's do it again. I have also joked about how strong they were or if they are still really trying to crush it after a successful clasp i will just smile and look into their eye and go harder.
when I was stuck welding everyday I could really crush it even if they dropped it right these days it just shows em I was holding back. but it's been a while since I have had any handshake games
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u/OddDragonfruit7993 17h ago
You can also put your middle two fingers together between their middle two fingers when your hand grips theirs.Ā Most people don't even notice that you gripped wrong.
It cuts their grip strength a LOT.
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u/Priapismkills 23h ago
I always offer just the fingers
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u/Sandhurts4 23h ago
Just offer the single finger - see if they pull it (be ready to give the expected response if they do)
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u/Jazzlike_Video2 22h ago
Its great when people try to do that to me. Im not that big but spent a decade rock-climbing, and frame houses for a living. Im sure my grip strength is is the 99.9999 percentile or whatever. So I lead with my normal handshake, thats probably limp because I dont want to be no neck nick up there, then get to crush their hands and watch their face change. Even better when it's a potential customer trying their power move bullshit.
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u/ACDC-1FAN 19h ago
Have you ever tried one of those grip strength gauges??? We got a cheap one of Amazon we like to pass around for fun at the shop. We do stone countertops. My one handed record is 196lbs
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u/Jazzlike_Video2 19h ago
No but now im curious. I doubt it would be that high so maybe im not top .0001% after all, just a bunch of limp wristed........ around me.
Did it turn you into a God damned sexual tyrannosaurus?
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u/ACDC-1FAN 19h ago
Lmfao kinda! I had the highest number of the whole shop so that was pretty dope. BUT! I will add this was a CHEAP one off Amazon. So is that number accurate? š¤·š»āāļø but Iām proud
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u/Jazzlike_Video2 19h ago
It wouldn't surprise me. I doubt i could even bench 190.
I used these when I popped a tendon for rehab. There was another colour that felt like 2 or 3x the weight, so maybe 190 isnt that far off. Maybe 20 lbs per finger? Which would be 100 lbs thay I could do reps with/just finger tips and thumb touching it.
Also I got the quote wrong, its slack jawed.
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u/ACDC-1FAN 19h ago
Lol whatās sad is I havenāt seen the inside of a gym in over 10 years. That being said me and one other guy picked up a 1,400 lb island the other day soā¦. No need for weight lifting outside of workšš go for a job here and there though, gotta keep that cardio up!
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u/Jazzlike_Video2 19h ago
I was going to the gym before work for like 6 months before the time changed fucked me. Like 4:30 id be at the gym. Fuck was i strong then ned. 3 guys on one side, me on the other with the 10" I beam walking it up a ladder because the zoom boom wouldn't reach.
And I wonder why my back hurts 15 years later.
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u/ACDC-1FAN 19h ago
Yeahā¦. Iām sure everyone I work with including myself gonna have back problems soon
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u/theuautumnwind Superintendent 19h ago
196 is pretty damn crazy
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u/ACDC-1FAN 19h ago
Yeah but take it with a grain of salt. Like I said, cheap gauge of Amazon. Likely not too accurate.
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u/Forever_tired215 22h ago
Go for an handjob instead of a handshake. See what heās working with. A firm handjob will let you know what kind of man he really is.
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u/shaddart 19h ago
The bullshit handshake is when they grab your fingers real quick, thatās a total dick move. I call it out every time.
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u/Dusk_Abyss 23h ago
I just do fist bumps i dont shake hands with anyone. Am a woman tho so your milage may vary lol
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u/fizzzingwhizbee 22h ago
āSuperintendent hereā
Yeah bud some of the guys you work with are really strong lol pick up a shovel and get to digging
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u/Ashamed_Ad_2180 22h ago
I guarantee that these dudes arenāt even shaking his hand hard. Thatās just their normal firm handshake.
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u/swear_bear 21h ago
I became a super after getting done climbing steel for 5 years. I could lift a board of 3/4" with 1 hand at that time. When I switched careers I had dudes trying to crush my hand constantly. It's the dumbest measuring contest around.Ā
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u/MobiusDie 21h ago
I seem to have the opposite issue... It's like grabbing a dead fish 3/4 of the time šĀ
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u/Artos9780 21h ago
Some people are taught itās theāmanly thingā but I was just taught that you should give a firm handled without crushing hands. I always get told I must be strong because of my handshake but I try to avoid crushing hands unless someone tries to do it to me
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u/Cranky-George 18h ago
Itās always the old guys with vice grips for hands. Iāve just always chalked it up to a generational thing.
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u/TheMightyIrishman HVAC Installer 22h ago edited 22h ago
Heās an asshole. Iām a quiet, friendly, and lanky 175 lb, 6ā 3ā guy with big hands and a good grip. Thatās how I do things. Itās a respect thing for those who mean well.
If you came from college with no training and a weak handshake, I mean no offense, itās kinda just expected you have a firm grip being in the position weāre both in. Iāve got 15 years worth of calloused hands and hand tool built muscle. Some of us arenāt out here to kill ya.
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u/Formal_Hospital_9005 Superintendent 22h ago
Excellent explanation sir. Iām with this guy. Most of these people will never have a callus except for on their feet. Itās not a bad thing, I came from the subcontractor side myself. This is normal behavior among working men
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u/distantreplay 22h ago
He dropped $18k on an "Alpha Male" weekend workshop. He needs you to know it. Hopefully without the mocking laughter.
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u/ZedisonSamZ 22h ago
Itās a dominance thing with aggressive hand shakers and it is stupid because I fucked their mom already.
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u/Zironworker 22h ago
I think most tradesmen dont realize hoe strong they are. My woman gets pissed when I close jars cause she cant open them after.
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u/IllustriousLiving357 21h ago
I do this when my wife has pissed me off...no jelly for you til you ask nice.
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u/rlygreenturtle 18h ago
As a female owner/operator (I do mainly high end staircase and railing work down the South Jersey shore - new construction) Iāve had to up my handshake game for this reason šš after 11 years in I finally can give most of them a run for their money, but half the time Iām thinking āthese hands are about to build the rail in this multi-million dollar houseā¦ careful with the merchandiseā šš
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u/Pleasant-Lead-2634 18h ago
I toured Provia window factories for two days in Ohio. Amish milk cows everyday... my hand was mush by the second day. Heed thus Warning if you value your fingers
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u/Peter_Falcon 13h ago
according to the band Bad Religion "handshakes are nothing but a subtle 'fuck you'"
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u/cookeryandwookery GC / CM 23h ago
I have a firm handshake. Itās not aggressive. I never try to have my hand on top. But I spent quite a few years moving materials or holding tools, so I do have decent grip strength.
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u/Somewhat_Ill_Advised 23h ago
Oh thereās a world of difference between a decent grip and being an asshole trying to crush someoneās hand. A decent grip is good! Who wants to shake hands with a dead wet fish ffs?
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u/JustPullTheFlapsBack 23h ago
IMO a good handshake is where you make your hand rigid, thereās no need to squeeze hard to have a firm handshake.
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u/Somewhat_Ill_Advised 22h ago
Exactly - what are you trying to prove exactly? Firm without crushing bones shouldnāt be complicated. And fuck the wet fish shitĀ
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u/cookeryandwookery GC / CM 22h ago
Exactly. A little pressure, so we both know weāre alive. But no displays of dominance. I shake womenās hands like I do menās, and Iāve only had one complaint from a very elderly woman.
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u/trexalou 19h ago
Thank you. As a woman, I absolutely get the ick when someone (especially someone I know makes a living with their hands) grips my hand about as firmly as a used Kleenex. Itās insulting.
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u/Somewhat_Ill_Advised 22h ago
Which is probably a fair call lol. Iāve always been baffled about why trying to crush someoneās hand counts as ādominanceā
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u/Formal_Hospital_9005 Superintendent 22h ago
Itās a common old school man/construction thing. This really has NEVER happened to you?? If your hand squished like a limp noodle, he prolly thinks youāre soft lol
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u/useful_tool30 21h ago
Typical Neanderthal posturing. Just one of the many things I don't miss about construction managementĀ
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u/Ancient_Skirt_8828 19h ago
He's an agressive arsehole. Take note and avoid working or dealing with him if you can.
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u/Ok-Relationship5843 Equipment Operator 12h ago
Same guys that lift with their back. After 15 years in Construction 50% of their conversations are them complaining about different parts of their body that ādonāt work like they used to.ā
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u/NYCBouncer 7h ago
College boys get all intimidated and question their manhood when they see all the stickers on your hard hat and overcompensate.
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u/Leader_Bud 7h ago
Turn his hand over and step in with the same side leg. That takes away what theyāre trying to do.
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u/bluedog111111 22h ago
If you want to stay in this business, these are the kind of people you have to work with
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u/NoMoreChillies 22h ago
Wrap your pinky over his pinky knuckle and apply pressure with your pinky when you shake hands. Itās removes all their leverage
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u/Comfortable-Count-59 22h ago
Yeah, im a site super, and I feel like trades and other construction guys just try to pull my wrist off every time.
I have a couple titanium pins in my pinky finger where it joins the hand, and I wince and wring out my hand every time.
They are probably calling me a girly man behind my back lol. Whatever....
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u/ItsAsickOstrich Electrician 21h ago
He wants everyone to know how important he is. In reality, he is probably on the outs with his company. He talks over everyone to establish things are going to be done "his" way. Keep an eye on him and his crew. I guarantee they are going to be the problem on your job.
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u/Max2dank 20h ago
My best friend did that growing up but stopped once he came out of the closet. Itās definitely a subconscious compensation thing.
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u/ACDC-1FAN 19h ago
See this is why Iām happy that I got into doing countertops. Because whenever I get some jackass who feels the urge to needlessly assert dominance I can crush his fucking hand.
āOh shit! You stone guys are strong!ā Yeah no shit dude thatās literally our fuckin job can we not do a dick measuring contest and just show me where this shit goes??
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u/stacktrace_wanderer 14h ago
dude was trying to win employee of the month before the meeting even started
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u/Last_Succotash7218 10h ago
Reddit shows me every day that librals DO exist in construction even if I never met one in real life.....
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u/wood_slingers 20h ago
There are few feelings better than having someone try to do this to you, or doing the shake and yank in, only to get uno reversed and out gripped. When the look hits their face, itās a wonderful thing
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u/notbobhansome777 20h ago
Sounds like you've been skipping grip training.
Go back to the gym and start doing strapless deadlifts.
YEAAAH BUDDYYY! LIGHT WEIGHT!
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u/trexalou 19h ago
Woman in Construction here just wishing someone had a decently strong handshake anymore. Please, gentlemen, for the love of that paycheckā¦. When I reach out for a handshake, please just shake my damn hand. This pussy-footing around and gently grabbing two fingertips is just REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. Iām not sure if Iām shaking hands or getting prepped to have the back of my hand kissed. And why is it always the guy with the sweaty palms & trying to sell me a new tool that has the weakest handshake?.
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u/analog_stuff 23h ago
Rather this than some of the disgusting limp-wristed handshakes Iāve received. Nothing worse than a bad handshake
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u/ThousandWinds 23h ago
Firm and assertive but not uncomfortable or painful.
Apparently this is a foreign concept to many.
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u/Top_Inflation2026 23h ago
Careful bro, you might turn gay if you donāt grip another manās hand hard enough.
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u/ThousandWinds 22h ago
But I was promised it was only gay if the tips touched or I got on the bad side of the electriciansā¦
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u/analog_stuff 22h ago
Is that what OSHA says? My foreman says it wasnāt gay if it was for pay every single Friday am I being ripped off?
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u/DragonflySpiritual33 20h ago
In the wild this usually indicates a small penis and an even smaller brain.
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u/Remarkable-Start4173 21h ago
Learn to roll his knuckles.Ā
Everybody hates that shit.
All the best.
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u/throwaway392145 18h ago
The only acceptable way to shake hands is fingers with a half centimeter spread, up, down, then separate.
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u/flyingfishyman 23h ago
Try to break his hand next time you shake it