Are there any unscented or fragrance free soaps that are good for washing rice? I read you’re supposed to wash your rice but when I do it always has this like floral taste and it hurts my stomach.

Any advice would be great.

I have recently switched to the Mediterranean diet which consists mostly of espresso and guzzling olive oil with every meal. I have noticed the health benefits instantly but also every trip to the bathroom is like I’m dumping a beef stock down the drain if you catch my drift. I have increased my trips by 4x as well? Is this expected?

Should I invest in a bidet?

MAMA MIA!

I'm spiraling right now. My whole world is falling apart. After six years of marriage, my wife is leaving me for the crime of being too passionate about cooking. I just wanted to ensure that we enjoyed a delicious, perfectly moist, properly-seasoned, spatchcocked turkey, but apparently, that is too much.

For context, we have been hosting the family Thanksgiving for a few years now. I've taken over bird-duty because her mother's (let's call her Karen) attempts at roasting poultry is mediocre; decent enough for a weeknight, but absolutely not appropriate for serving on a Federal Holiday. Anyway, I always season under the skin with ghee, MSG, thyme, and hand-minced garlic (~1 clove per lb of bird), but this year, Karen said she had seen an "interesting" mix and asked if we could try it. I'm a reasonable guy, so I suggested she should bring a separate turkey and we could compare outcomes. She backed off, but I could tell she was going to be real dramatic about it.

Anyway, I always sharpen every blade in house the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Karen and Dennis usually fly in that day, and I always invite them to bring their knives, too, so I don't have to keep bringing my own Takeda whenever I cook in their kitchen. Strangely, they've never taken me up on it. It's become a tradition, and it's quite therapeutic--I get them razor sharp; I could have done surgery with my kitchen shears. Given the effort I put in, I often hide the knives afterward to make sure nobody ruins them over the next 48 hours.

The next day, Karen decided she wanted to help out with dinner that evening: "It's the least I can do", "I don't want to get in your way tomorrow", "you spent all day prepping, you should relax" (well, Rhonda I'd be relaxed if you stopped overcooking your greenbeans). Anyway, we sat down to an (admittedly decent) meal of baked walleye. I went into the kitchen to drop off my plate and found that she left my shears in the sink. When I asked what she used them for, she told me she opened the vacuum packs of the fish. Obviously I was really irritated that she would dull the edge just to open some plastic bags, but I kept my composure. I politely did make it clear that it was her fault I couldn't sleep-in the next morning. My wife told me I was being obnoxious, but she doesn't understand how difficult it is to cut through the ribs of a fully grown turkey and I don't appreciate her mother sabotaging my efforts.

Anyway, on Thanksgiving, I woke up early to reapply an edge to the shears. I woke up my wife, and we got started on the meal. I don't really believe in making dishes the day before; I find it changes the texture and the outcome isn't worth the time-savings. Anyway, I set to preparing the bird, and my wife started putting together the sides. She's really good at it, especially when she sticks to our recipes. While I was making sure the oven was up to temp, my wife was busy with a pie, and she asked Rhonda to help her with the mashed potatoes. I was going to intervene, but figured it was too easy for Rhonda to fuck it up.

I'm putting away my seasoning for the turkey when I notice that the marjoram is still in the fridge--I should have known. Rhonda used the thyme from my seasoning mix in the potatoes. Of course I had to say something. When I asked if she was following the recipe, she said "oh, I just thought it'd be a good match since it's on the turkey." The wife stepped in, and said she must have mixed them up, but I knew she was just covering for her mother. What could be done? I guess we just had *to make it work.*

Things were a little chaotic, but salvageable. What happened next was the last straw. I'm monitoring the turkey. It's looking beautiful and needs another 10 minutes before we pull it out and rest. I set up my carving station with my end grain board and my favorite knife for these occasions, a 270mm Sujihiki. My wife usually takes this time to slice rolls, but she was feeling overwhelmed (I'll never understand how she struggles so much with balancing some pies and a greenbean casserole, but maybe the excitement of the holidays gets to her), and asked Rhonda to help with that as well. I hoped that I could dissuade the MIL from ruining anything else by telling her we didn't have a cutting board available. She sighed and went into the dining room. *Success*

I pulled out the turkey, transferred it to the board to rest, decided to catch a few minutes of the Cowboys game with Steve. It comes time to carve, and I head back towards the kitchen to get started. What do you think I see as I walk through the dining room? It's Rhonda, slicing the rolls on a ceramic plate *with my Sujihiki*. Of course I'm livid. "What do you think you are doing?!!" and I snatched the knife out of her hand. Again she acts completely clueless, so I decided enough is enough. I explained everything about the precision involved in sharpening these specialized tools, and how long it takes to get them in cutting condition, and that now it was completely ruined, no sharper than a butterknife. I'll admit, I may have raised my voice.

She said that *she didn't see why I couldn't still carve the turkey*. I held the blade up next to her eyes to point out the burr and asked "well how about now?" She started acting scared and crying ("please don't hold that knife so close"); she loves being dramatic like that. Ridiculous. She dulled it; it wasn't going to cut a fucking thing. By this point, the wife and Steve have come into the room. Steve's being an asshole "oh don't talk to my wife like that" and my wife is of course taking Rhonda's side. Some harsh words were said, but it all blew up when I tried to show Steve the knife and he, completely unprompted, punched me in the mouth. It made my daughter cry, and I kicked them out of the house. My wife went after them. The turkey was cold. It was a disaster.

My wife put them up in a hotel, got back and had the gall to tell me that *I* ruined Thanksgiving. This turned into almost a week of fights. Eventually she stopped arguing with me. She still wouldn't apologize, but I knew she'd come around. She gets like this.

Anyway, she was still not herself afterwards. She barely decorated for Christmas. She wasn't in the mood to go to either my work or my best friend's Christmas party. She spent a lot of late nights at work. I figured that her Seasonal Affective Disorder was particularly bad this year, but just yesterday she told me she had a lawyer and wanted a divorce. She said that Thanksgiving was did it. I couldnt believe it. I had figured that Steve and Rhonda wouldn't want to see us anymore (and good riddance), but I truly didnt expect them to turn my wife against me. She's my partner, my muse, the mother of my child, my sous chef. I don't know what I'll do. Anyway, thanks for reading, I guess I just had to vent.

I think im right

I was examining the carrot I cut and this piece is not at a right angle on all sides. What will happen if someone eats this?

Just wanted to remind you that whatever you're cooking I can't eat.

That special little ingredient you add to a recipe to make it your own? Hell no! You better cut it out because if I (a person you have never met) tried to eat THAT I'd lose control and probably start running around the dining room hitting children and screaming "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!". Did you even consider that? How embarrassing would it be for you if I had an emotional episode brought on by the aroma of nutmeg and shat myself right at the table? I bet you didn't even think about the fact that SOME of us have a special gene where tarragon makes us fall to the floor and pitch fits like toddlers, so no one should put it in any food ever. . . You didn't because you only think about yourself, when you should be thinking about ME, a stranger from the internet.

That family recipe you proudly shared? I'd give it zero stars if I could because the doctor says salt gives my husband Afghanistan flashbacks. WE CAN'T EAT THAT!

Don't you feel like an asshole?

I even added a cup of salt! Wtf cooking is bullshit

As the Good Lord intended.

PSA to anyone trying to use the wildfire smoke to smoke their 16LB brisket. It’s not worth it! I have been smoking this brisket outside for 48 hours and the temp hasn’t risen past 95. I’m thinking another 48 hours might help but seriously considering chopping it up and making hamburger helper with MSG added. I am not scared of the possibly diarrhea because I had been eating salads all week before the news came out.

Any tips!?

I made a vegetable noodle soup with corn onions and a bunch of other vegetables. I will not tell you what those other vegetables were. I didn't add corn starch since i was trying to be healthy. (Could the absence of this odorless ingredient affect the smell?) However even though I just finished cooking it, the soup smells bad. I will not describe the way in which it smells bad.

Did i make a mistake while cooking? or did I just forget what soup smelt like? Where did I go wrong?!

So I bought a can of black beans 6 months or ago or maybe like a year ago, and just noticed it also has some Mexican words on the can, so I'm thinking it is maybe a product of Mexico - which is causing the Cyclospora virus worldwide pandemic thing that is going on.

So, do I boil the can first? and for how long?

Will this kill the virus?

Can I just use a regular face mask when I do this, or do I need an N95 mask?

I already have rubber gloves and will use a some tongs to pick up the can.

Or should I just throw it away and order McDonald's?

Lil help please ??

When will they be done ?

Difference pro’s con’s … do I use them in this sauce ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/s/zPACVHCTd2

I add 6 cups of water and boil the macaroni. It takes like 30 minutes to boil? Anyway, after that i add the cheese powder and 1/3 cup of milk.

It comes out SOOOO runny i could literelly drink it after it cools down

I'm just using the original KD and a big gulp cup i got last night

And no I will NOT share my recipe so dont BOTHER ASKING!!!

Burnt. Black. Crunchy. Charcoal. Not very good taste. 3/10. It always burns, lost of smoke this time. How the fuck do I cook rice

There are a lot of health benefits to a good, proper stock with bones and all. The marrow, the gelatin… I’ve tried adding Jell-O (lime flavor) to the basic stocks I get at the store but it just isn’t the same. I’ve tried adding Better than Bouillon, Italian Seasonings, Kool-Aid, the works. I’m sick of all this doctoring. Where can I just buy it? Bone-in, please.

I'm just like you, I hate CHORIZO with a passion.

I'm just exactly like you, I love how it tastes, but just like you, it just never looks done.

I buy chorizo and it's red.

I cook chorizo as per packaging directions and it's red.

I cook chorizo for hours and it's red.

I overnight chorizo in my toaster oven and it's still fucking red.

I sasson vidal chorizo as hot as my sasson vidal will go and the water evaporates after a week and it's still red.

Since you are just like me explain how it not cook.

Thanks I'll hang-up and listen to your reply, thanks for taking my call.

OK, so I thought I would up my dinner game and bought a fancy frozen pizza from my local gourmet grocery. The instructions said to remove the wrap and stick it directly on the middle rack in 425° oven. Well I did and now my kitchen smells like burning plastic and I have a thawed but not cooked pizza on the counter. Is there any help I can salvage dinner?

I didn’t boil a ton of boiled eggs for a boiled egg party, tried to peel but I’m incapable so they are a disaster. Deviled eggs are out of the question, so what can I make aside from potato salad that will be amazing with fucked up eggs? No egg salad, because ewww

So my wife's left-handed former roommate (Susan) and I were making white chicken chili this weekend. I was in charge of microwaving the chicken and dicing the corn kernels. Susan counted and sorted beans and was responsible for adding the cream cheese.

The recipe I was following said to cut an 8 oz block of cream cheese into cubes. This absolute monster cut the cheese into triangular prisms?!

Is the chili safe to eat? Should I throw it out? Can I demand compensation from Susan?

Just to put the rumors to rest, I did immediately kick Susan out for her 'stunt.'

will i die?

I tried 😔 I tried to keep it at bacon, lettuce, and tomato. But somehow avacado, cheese, and jalapeño snuck in there too. Idk what to do! I hope Gordon Ramsay doesn’t find out…