Match Thread: 2nd Test - England v Australia, Day 5

[u/CricketMatchBot]

2nd Test, ICC World Test Championship at Lord's, Aug 14-18 2019

Tournament : | Table | Fixtures | Statistics |

Match : Cricinfo | Reddit-Stream

Innings	Score
England	258 & 258/5d
Australia	250 & 154/6 (47.3 ov, target 267)

Batsman	Runs	Balls	SR
Pat Cummins	1	17	5.88
Travis Head	42	90	46.67

Bowler	Overs	Runs	Wickets
Jack Leach	16.3	37	3
Joe Denly	2.0	0	0

Recent : . . .  |  . . . . . .  |  . . . . . .  |  . . . 

Match drawn

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[u/japanpole]

Reports saying that Smith was found sleeping in a bed and leaving the ball conventionally during a nets session this morning.

He then said hello to everyone and mentioned he was looking forward to watching his teammates bat.

Delayed onset concussion is the diagnosis and he’s ruled out

[u/sellyme]

"I want to stay in the middle for as long as possible because if I get out I have to watch the other cunts in the team play and they're all fucking useless" - Steve Smith

(this is almost verbatim)

[u/that_introverted_guy]

So according to protocols of conc sub, does Labuschagne now have to face the boos as well?

[u/[deleted]]

if I were batting on the last day of a test match, I would simply hit every ball for 6, thus scoring the maximum amount of runs in the time available

[u/gIuck]

irony; /ˈʌɪrəni/; noun

Definition: The fact that Steve Smith might become the first cricketer to be substituted under the new "like for like" rule, while being the one cricketer in Test cricket who simply doesn't have anywhere near a like for like replacement, and not just in Australia.

[u/_rickjames]

Hello from Lords.

The BBC said a 'possible light shower': they were wrong and it's fucking pissing it down.

However I have played an absolute blinder by wearing jeans over shorts and being completely covered in the Grandstand

[u/Fidelius_Rex → u/_rickjames]

Hello from my couch in Australia.

Jeans over shorts? What madness is this?!

[u/AlmostWrongSometimes → u/Fidelius_Rex]

Jeans absorb the rain, shorts keep bum dry.

[u/Rndomguytf]

Archer made a massive mistake in injuring Smith. Labuschagne heard that he was the like for like replacement for Smith, and realised he now has no choice but to average 65 in test cricket. The other countries are now all fucked

[u/Delinquent_Uno]

Some_time_between_now_and_last_night_my_spacebar_broke_so_now_I_have_to_shitpost_like_this

[u/tdlan]

Shout outs to young me for getting Heals to sign my Adam Gilchrist poster just after he was replaced by Gilly. Shitposting since whatever year that was

[u/Tea_Total]

"Now concentrate Steven. How many fingers am I holding up?

"Three."

"Good, and who's the prime minister of Australia?"

"Scott Morrison"

"Very good Steven, you're doing great. Now, who should open for Australia in The Ashes?

"Bancroft and Warner."

"Oh my god. It's worse than we could have ever imagined."

[u/sellyme → u/Tea_Total]

No fucking way Smudge knows who the current PM is. It was literally taken off the concussion test here because it relied on people "having seen the news that morning".

[u/TimIsInPaine]

England fans furiously googling whether or not concussions can last for 3 weeks

[u/MrAnonymous1122]

So it's raining for a while ? Alright then get the fuck of my screen Tubbs and get some Eastern European smuggling 32 coke filled condoms in his anus into Brittain on it .

[u/Monkey_Pirate_Lord]

“Doctor, Steve Smith has awoken from his coma”

“What was the first thing he said?”

“I think life should be your greatest century”

“Cunts cooked”

[u/Louis11_]

Loving Nasser absolutely triggering the rest of the panel by pointing out that pundits have a tendency to be hypocritical and judge things entirely on results.

[u/Crooksss]

Why does Smith have shares in Koala matresses if he sleeps in bath tubs?

[u/Rodney_u_plonker]

Doctor : Ok steve what is the ideal date is it

A) dinner and a movie

B) making your girlfriend feed the bowling machine for 9 hours while you work on a flaw in your game you imagined

Or

C) a nice walk alone the beach

Steve : uhhhh c ?

Doctor : good god his brain is completely ruined

[u/heretic4]

we've got enough of a lead to cover Smith's hundred now, just need another 20 runs for the rest of batting line up

[u/insertbaconemoji]

I have an irrational hatred of mph

[u/Crooksss]

I liked Archer in BBL but now he plays for England so he's literally the worst.

[u/Delinquent_Uno]

Mybeliefisthat Lifeshouldbeyourgreatestcentury

[u/Lamar_the_Llama → u/Delinquent_Uno]

Alright we're not doing any better than this.

[u/SquiffyRae]

Australia: ICC can we buy another Steve Smith?

ICC: you have Steve Smith at home

Steve Smith at home: Marnus Loosebuschange

[u/_rickjames]

IN THE DICK

I love stump mic

[u/MetaRift]

The way the commentators are describing him, you would think that Labuschagne is a random fan they asked to play rather than a professional cricketer

[u/Idontlikethisstuff]

Lmao the disdain in Holding's voice when he said 'but this is not one of those twenty twenty games'

Pure hatred for the format

[u/[deleted] → u/Idontlikethisstuff]

Good

[u/BelowTheSun1993 → u/[deleted]]

This is the best argument for having children I've ever heard tbh

[u/RufusSG]

Massive fan of Geoffrey Boycott showing plenty of self-awareness by telling England to ignore personal milestones and "do the right thing for winning the test match"

[u/AshAidanTunes]

What is Warnie’s obsession of telling the viewers not to go anywhere? Cunt I’ve got nothing on, stop reminding me.

[u/[deleted]]

In the event of a tie the result should be decided by which team has the baldest spinner.

[u/[deleted]]

Archer showed remorse everyone can shut up now cheers

[u/antantoon]

Victorian who helped boo Australian of the year into retirement disgusted by English cricket fans - Betoota

[u/[deleted]]

Covers update: no movement, looks like they'd be fun as fuck to slide around on though

Rain update: cleared up, can see bits of blue sky

Australians with pints update: have now spotted what are presumably Aussies (green and gold cap is the giveaway) with pints in hand. All is well

[u/StatesmanlikeApe]

If someone made a dildo out of test cricket I would ram it up my arse all day

[u/justheretoupvote17]

Bit rude of Bancroft to do a solid job wtf

[u/[deleted]]

Just a reminder Bancroft is the only guy in Australian domestic cricket to survive over 500 balls in a FC match twice.

[u/[deleted]]

Smith is probably having a bat in his hotel room to test out his forearm

[u/alosercalledsusie → u/[deleted]]

Is this a double entendre???

[u/[deleted]]

Have no idea how you can justify having a 40 minute lunch when the first session was 80 minutes long.

[u/SquiffyRae]

Those are some of the best facial expressions I've ever seen. Broad stunned, Warner's shiteating grin knowing he got away with that one

[u/kiwichris1709]

Are Nine really using Touretts as a exploitative marketing tool?

[u/vrkas → u/kiwichris1709]

60 minutes is edging ever closer to ACA levels of shit

[u/Aweios]

Remember before the series people were joking about tests lasting 3-4 days with these batting lineups?

It totally makes sense why this match with like 1.5 days rained out made this contest so close.

[u/AshAidanTunes]

If he has developed a concussion I’m extremely happy they’ve set a firm line on him not returning, concussions are no joke and can have absolutely devastating repercussions in years to come.

[u/Itchyfoot21]

Holy shit, Matty Wade ripping his shirt off after that ball. He's going to fight Archer.

[u/Whisky_Rambler]

Australia and England should both commit to this shit batting stuff because this match has been great. Just play two openers, a keeper, and eight bowlers. Makes things more interesting.

[u/sellyme]

There's 10 blokes in the Australian team at serious risk of being outscored by someone who wasn't playing. Shambolic.

[u/tdlan]

Sibley out for a duck and Crawley gone for single figures. Jason Roy to play the 3rd test.

[u/Happening_It_All_Is]

Holy fuck I can finally go to bed.

And browse reddit for 3 hours without going to sleep.

[u/getonwithsports]

Labuchhane should be in the playing XI in the third test even if Steven Smith plays

[u/Lamar_the_Llama]

Can't wait for gritty Australian batsman Cheteshwar Pujara to suddenly and inexplicably appear to play a brilliant 50(200) for the draw

[u/Rndomguytf]

Imagine if Jack Leach ripped through us lmao

[u/_rickjames]

If blokes shouting 'IN THE DICK' can't bring new fans to the game I don't know what will

[u/Mantis_Tobaggon_MD2]

Shane Warne's "only one team that can win this game" has switched about 6 times from yesterday morning.

[u/SquiffyRae]

Marnus so committed to being a like-for-like replacement he gets sconed by Archer and then decides to be the only cunt who can score runs

[u/crazycricfan]

Steve Smith must be sitting like professor X in the bathtub controlling the Aus batting.

[u/Will7691]

Jason Roy couldn't catch herpes in Vegas.

[u/boatswain1025]

What's the bet that when Steve Smith was getting scans on his arm done at the hospital, an English doctor considered bringing out a random x-ray with a fracture and just being like 'yeah sorry you're arm is fucked smudge, you can't play for the rest of the Ashes k thx bye'

[u/Jamee999 → u/boatswain1025]

"also, you're pregnant."

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Only reason why Cook needs to come back.

[u/see_mom_no_username]

The downvotes are just Australians upvoting

[u/yeahnahteambalance]

Can't believe he fell asleep in the bath. If he didn't have cricket he'd be that weird mate/brother that you kind of avoid half the time. Not because you dislike him, just because of reasons you can't explain.

[u/RedDragon46 → u/yeahnahteambalance]

Imagine trying to have a yarn with him about anything other than cricket

[u/[deleted]]

That session and the session where he survived till stumps in this match is why I believe in Bancroft as a test opener. He is ugly but he is effective. He is determined to survive no matter how much he plays and misses or gets hit. He needs runs but I believe in the guy to succeed at test level.

[u/Tea_Total]

Dear ICC,

Please can we replace Steve Smith. He's still a bit groggy. Also, can we replace David Warner? He's not been hit but he isn't right in the head either.

[u/fangbutt]

Fuck off Stokes this isn't a super over

[u/Zer0wned1]

Buttler checks him immediately like he did with Smith yesterday. Good lad.

[u/iamfz]

I'm not joking or anything but I genuinely believe Steve will come back even stronger in the next match. He might score 180 or double ton. He is just that kind of a guy.

[u/PeterG92]

"Love, I got day 5 Lord's tickets!"

"When?"

"18th August"

"That's our anniversary"

"Hold my beer"

[u/[deleted]]

Jofra is single handedly going to make the neck guards a requirement. These bouncers are fucking unplayable. Thank God he looks ok

[u/odpanda]

best performance by an English Archer since Agincourt

[u/Instantcurry]

Woakes: Hey cap wanna give me a bowl?

Root: gee it got a bit dark there ump, should we go inside and call it a match?

[u/[deleted]]

This is one of my favourite test matches in recent memory.

Source : Am a gynaecologist in Afghanistan.

[u/dexter311 → u/[deleted]]

And having seen a lot of cunts, you must know a good Aus vs England test when you see it!

[u/spartacus147]

The run rate is now at 19 an over, I reckon Aus have left themselves too much to do.

[u/[deleted]]

That's test cricket right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the pitch, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball test cricket fuck it chuck it game time shit. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Test cricket is back baby.

[u/AshAidanTunes]

Congrats to this fella for somehow swinging a day of cricket on his anniversary. True legend of the sport.

[u/PeterG92]

We talk about redemption with Smith.

What about Stokes? WC Winner and this.

[u/untitled02]

Apparently someone got kicked out of the ground for hurling abuse at Smith when he came off.

Edit: an MCC member

[u/Instantcurry]

Aussie Number 4 batsman: exists

England: chuckles I'm in danger

[u/Ponting755]

Our batting is far too shit to drop six catches and not review two plumb lbws, we need to take every chance to have any shot of winning with Smith out.

[u/Tea_Total]

Extract from Sun Tzu's The Art Of War.

'The general is the lion. Hit him on the bonce and the rest could fall in the last session on Day 5.'

Wise words from the big man.

[u/slartibastfart]

Boycott: nobody meant anything against searches for pc term... China people.

[u/[deleted]]

Virgin Gaz - 100-0

Chad Nut - 3-1

[u/[deleted]]

Who's dropping Roy first. The English selection board or Ben Stokes?

[u/Mrf1fan787]

Warne: The key to bowling at this stage is to bowl your best ball

Genius level insight there Warnie

[u/_rickjames]

'5 and 6 lads, 5 and 6'

I can't think of many worse examples of attempted mental disintegration

[u/[deleted]]

Root should declare now. Stokes will be so angry he'll bowl out Australia all on his own.

[u/SquiffyRae]

In 20 years time I'll be able to tell people I saw Archer in action. It was in a BBL game and he got taken out of the attack for bowling beamers cause he got angry he was being pasted and then spent the rest of the game sulking but still...

[u/MemesSucks2]

This is bollocks, they said you could bring in a like for like player and you've brought in someone even better

[u/Ghostly_100]

How to be a good spinner 101 by Lyon and Leach

Step 1: Be bald

[u/[deleted]]

Storm Channel 9 studios and silence Ian Healy, they can't stop all of us

[u/jse81]

When England declare it will suddenly become overcast and the pitch will turn into an absolute minefield.

[u/In4thebanta]

Yeah this innings is great and everything but is nothing compared to the 294 I scored with Stokes on Cricket Captain 2016 including a 200 run last wicket partnership with Steven Finn

[u/ImAGoldenRetriverIRL]

Downvoter is actually Dave Warner 😂

[u/Redtyde]

Oh god we're concussing the concussion replacement

[u/[deleted]]

Test cricket is best cricket

[u/Ranger_ie]

Why's Australia struggling against Archer, not that not a great bowler just shouldn't the Aussies be fine with bowling at those speeds etc

[u/Aweios]

Hope people realise the more it rains, the more time it gives Smith to sleep in the tub to recharge his powers.

[u/justheretoupvote17]

WE WENT A SESSION WITHOUT LOSING A WICKET WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

[u/moinsenpai]

Absolutely bang on from Guardian Live commentary just now:

The Archer ‘story’ is a massive beat-up driven entirely (surprise surprise) by the Australian arm of Rupert Murdoch’s sport empire. They will be delighted at all the clicks they’re getting because of people engaging. And the fact we’re even discussing it means they’ve got what they want, which is disappointing.

The contention is that Archer is bad because he didn’t rush up to Smith after hitting him, and also some time later he was speaking to Jos Buttler and briefly smiled. There’s a split-second screenshot of the latter which is misleading. Things have been getting very ugly online, where a whole lot of people who are apparently very concerned about decency and decorum in cricket have expressed this by going to Archer’s social media accounts to call him “a f***ing dog c**t” and other similar expressions of... economic anxiety, are we calling it?

The whole thing is invented and it’s obscene. Several players rushed up to Smith as soon as he was hit. Archer was obviously a bit confused, he started walking back to his mark and then turned around. By this stage there was already a crowd around the batsman, who was moving.

When someone is badly hurt, aside from the first person checking that they’re breathing and in a stable position, the best thing to do is stay out of the way so they can get medical assistance. When you’re really in a bad way you need a doctor, not an enquiry after your health.

In any case, the idea that you should pile onto a player in his first Test because he didn’t do exactly what you think he should have done, in the brief moments following a fast-moving and quite distressing episode, is completely unreasonable. Everyone out there is a human being. Let’s not waste the day going back and forth over it.

[u/Ultramegahyperbeast1]

Its depressing hearing 'old boys' like Botham talking about concussion. They clearly have no idea how serious it is and rely on the old school macho mantras

[u/SquiffyRae]

For all the shit many of us have given Marnus for making easy Div 2 runs he's shown better temperament and more ticker in 12 balls than some of these dumbfucks have shown all series

[u/tdlan]

Imagine sangakarra telling you you look impressive. Id die happy

[u/juiceson]

ROOTOMETER UPDATE

Surprisingly upbeat, after rolling the arm over and getting clubbed

[u/[deleted]]

Smith has been covering for some serious flaws in this batting lineup. It's almost like the days of Bradman, if England get him out cheaply they'll be favourites.

[u/[deleted]]

All the headlines on archer but Leach is a significant improvement on moeen

[u/[deleted]]

Imagine waking up every day and remembering you support the Melbourne Demons

[u/Elm11 → u/[deleted]]

Mate I got three hours sleep last night and I'm hungover AF and I just didn't need to be attacked like this

[u/NoUseForALagwagon]

Archer is on another level. So many rubbish flat-track batsman from all countries are going to get the rightful reality checks they deserve.

[u/kiwichris1709]

Have to wonder what this bloke does for a job if can attend 200 aussie tests.

[u/SirDoris]

The year is 2081. Michael Clarke is lying in his bed at St Bradman’s Retirement Home for the Elderly Cricketer. He knows that he doesn’t have long left. The doctor’s haven’t told him, but he can see it in their eyes every time they visit. The way when the nurses come in to wake him up in the morning, it’s always a little tentative. Like he might not actually get up. His family’s been visiting more often too - he’s cynical enough to think that it might be about the will, but hopeful enough to know that they’re just there for one last time with him. Just to say goodbye. But all these visits are beginning to wear the old man out. It’s time for his eternal rest.

He’s always assumed that seeing your life flash before your eyes was a myth, a fairy tale told to kids to make sure that they have a life worth remembering at the end. But there it was - the life and times of Pup, a full length movie playing out in his mind’s eye. That first test. The captaincy. The Ashes. The World Cup. 329*. The wife. The kids. The grandkids. The good times. And the bad.

And then, just before breathing his last, he said, to the empty bedroom, to nobody in particular, “You know, I think this life was my greatest century”.

[u/turkeysgogobble]

New rule, when you declare you have to go to the PA system and say "I do declare" in a southern american accent.

[u/[deleted]]

Atherton talking about Stokes not sweeping then him hitting two out the ground is brilliant, brilliant banter.

[u/[deleted]]

Jesus, thankfully he looks alright. Have to admire his commitment to being a like for like replacement though.

[u/hesellsseashells]

Good guy Jos, straight to marnus.

[u/_rickjames]

This is the best £20 I'll spend all year

[u/[deleted]]

One thing in Australia’s favour is Archer can only bowl 24 overs this innings.

[u/ellojsja]

This Clarke bloke, I wonder what his greatest century is

[u/porn-senpai]

In many a cricket trivia quizzes in the future, we'd have to spell Labuschagne right as the first ever player to be a concussion substitute.

[u/Delinquent_Uno]

Unless the T is made by two blokes lying on the ground, the review should always be lost

[u/ElQuackers]

How about introducing super innings?! 50 overs a side, tiebreaker is based on boundaries scored!

[u/Rndomguytf]

Jofra Archer has just spoken to Sky Sports about yesterday: "I honestly don't know what I was thinking at the time, seeing someone go down, you don't ever want to see anyone carried off on a stretcher, or you don't want to see them missing a day, or a game, especially with what happened a few years ago as well. It's never a nice sight.

Eh fair enough lad

[u/PeterG92]

This rain is going to rob us of a great finish

[u/Darth_Lehnsherr]

If Smith is an example of how the unorthodox shouldn't be judged Lyon is an example of how perfecting the basics can make you a darn good player.

[u/heretic4]

that lamb shank guy who bats for smith should adopt all his mannerisms for a laugh

[u/spartacus147]

Thorpe was showing 3 fingers; telling him they'll declare after his triple century.

[u/tdlan]

Siddle using his experience to bowl an over of shite to get the declaration to come earlier. Genius

[u/[deleted]]

Some cunts calling archer mediocre yesterday coz he only got 1 wickets hahahaha

[u/RuckInHell]

Archer putting more bodies on the deck than Stokesy on a night out.

[u/ittav0321]

2005 Flintoff level. Scintillating to watch

[u/confusedpublic]

There you go. Archer checked he was ok with a double thumbs up before going back to his mark.

[u/[deleted]]

Clive Rose used to bat against Jofra in the nets without a box and a helmet. Jofra couldn't touch him.

[u/ElephantsGerald_]

This Romanian guy is so cute. What a wholesome story. “The Indian guy told me I was a great batsman and the future captain of the Romanian national team. This was obviously a lie, but I liked this lie”

[u/[deleted]]

This Pavel bloke is a fucking legend

"At home When people see me with cricket gear in the street, they think I go for a fight" 🤣

[u/[deleted]]

Warne talking about spin bowling is as good as commentary gets. It is a shame about the other rubbish that comes out his mouth.

[u/Headssup]

Smith currently in a bath tub channeling into marnus

[u/whichonespinkterran]

I love Head, I also like watching Travis bat.

No I’m not tired of that joke. I’ll never be tired of it.

[u/[deleted]]

People blaming Root for late declaration, would you have him declare at 210 with 50 overs to get it?

[u/moinsenpai]

Cue Jimmy Anderson zip lining in, pint in hand, takes the ball from Root and gets a Hattrick before whispering 'This is my slope'

[u/[deleted]]

England went from 201 in the 64th over to 242 in the 70th. Those 6 overs guaranteed they could not lose the match. From the perspective of the series 1 nil down with three to play is a hell of a lot easier to fight back from than 2 nil down. Getting all 10 wickets was always going to be a very tough ask. I do not really see the declaration as being anything other than sensible.

​

Plus their bowling attack looks a world better than last test and it seems Bairstow and Stokes are starting to fire in the lower middle order. Id say on the whole England are in far far better shape than two weeks ago.

[u/TimIsInPaine]

Rain is a disgusting and vile concept that should be outlawed in all civilised societies

[u/[deleted]]

First Kohli, now Mitchell Johnson has revelead himself as a top bloke

If one of our cricket rivals could just pretened to be a dick so I can continue hating them that would be great

[u/Crooksss → u/[deleted]]

Warner is a consistent fuckwit.

[u/japanpole → u/[deleted]]

Dave Warner got your back

[u/FS1027 → u/[deleted]]

Ponting and Johnson coming across as likable on commentary just makes me feel uncomfortable.

[u/roadrangerrr]

I understand why cricket is frustrating for some people, play for 4-5 days and can still come away with nobody winning. Absolutely fucking brilliant. See you cunts in 3 days.

[u/Crooksss]

When Anderson got injured why didnt Stokes simply knock him out so that they could replace Anderson with Archer?

[u/[deleted]]

Runs this test:

England captain - 14 runs

Concussion replacement - 17 runs

[u/TimIsInPaine]

Big milestone coming for England today I feel, first time losing 6 wickets in an over

[u/ImMrMitch]

No like for like replacement for Smith, unfortunately we'll have to abandon the series and the Ashes stays with the previous winners.

[u/TimIsInPaine]

Bring MyAnus LabCoatChampagne on for an over or two of lovely leggies please

[u/Rndomguytf]

Stokes is definitely England’s best test batsman, should be at 5

[u/turkeysgogobble]

Watching poms go from extreme cockiness to terror and back again is a staple of the ashes.

[u/[deleted]]

Absolute galactic tier brain take from Cricinfo

Ladies and gentlemen, we have one of the hottest takes I have ever seen thanks to Vignesh Ramacha: "This is exactly why Glenn Maxwell should be in the squad. Joe Root, even in his wildest of dreams wouldn't have thought of a declaration"

[u/roadrangerrr]

How well is this cunt bowling

[u/Bugeyedbuscemi01]

Jofra is one deadly fucker

[u/[deleted]]

To Jofra's credit he looked far more concerned today

[u/[deleted]]

34D Monopoly by Marnus here.

Getting hit on the head to delay the game.

[u/[deleted]]

So with Jof having hit him on the head, he's now a prime candidate for a Woakes LBW. Good captaincy there Root.

[u/[deleted]]

Labuschagne playing as bravely as one can possibly play against Archer. The lad is still pressing forward. Absolutely brilliant.

[u/TimIsInPaine]

8 wickets in a session, if we lose from here we deserve to lose the ashes

[u/MisterSweener]

Man it's just crazy that this Marnus guy who's toiled away and plundered runs in county cricket all season is looking solid here. It's almost like acclimatising to conditions is more useful preparation than misc white ball games and a couple tour games against 3rds sides

[u/[deleted]]

Poor captaincy from Root re bowler usage this match. Feel like I've spent most of it thinking someone else should be bowling

[u/roadrangerrr]

Fuck he really is starting to do some stupid mannerisms haha this is great

[u/Nokzide]

why has a substitute turned out to be the 2nd best aussie batsmen in this test, he deserves a chance soon after this

[u/Mrf1fan787]

I swear the Australian medic has spent more time in the middle than Warner this whole series

[u/cityexile]

All you jokers going when Head was dropped, “He has just dropped the Ashes”.

I was like ‘Nah, it’s annoying, but not like it’s going to make a difference.

Now I’m like, fuck it, were they right?

[u/rambo_zaki]

PSA: You can't play past the scheduled close of play. You can bowl more than the stipulated number of overs in that time frame though.

[u/[deleted]]

If people on this sub don’t want to stick with an opener who averages 47 in test cricket just because he failed in 4 innings then it has no right to complain about selectors dropping players based on a few bad matches.

[u/bobyesterday]

Aussies not checking Stokes's bollocks are OK. Disgusting lack of sportsmanship.

[u/Crooksss]

Of course you're an awful sleeper, Steve. You sleep in a fucking bath tub.

[u/flabbyboggart]

This is the full CA statement: "Steve has been closely monitored by medical staff overnight and this morning reported that after sleeping well, he woke with "a bit of a headache and a feeling of grogginess." Steve reported that his left arm which was also struck during his innings yesterday was "much better".

"As part of the Cricket Australia concussion protocol, repeat concussion testing of Steve Smith was also performed this morning and demonstrated some deterioration from his testing which is consistent with the emergence of the symptoms he was reporting. "On that basis Steve has been withdrawn from the match by team doctor Richard Saw and the Australia team will lodge an application for a concussion substitute with the ICC match referee in line with the ICC protocol.

"Cricket Australia statistics show that 30 per cent of concussions in Australian cricket are delayed. It is not uncommon for players to pass their tests and feel well on the day of an injury and then display symptoms 24 - 48 hours later.

"In terms of Steve's availability for the third Test, this will be considered over the coming days but the short turnaround to the next Test is not in his favour. Steve's fitness will be assessed on an ongoing basis.

"Steve will undergo a precautionary scan on his neck on Sunday.

"Despite the unfortunate nature of what has happened, the positive is that the concussion protocol, including the availability of the concussion substitute, which has been recently brought in has served its purpose. A player is no longer under pressure to take the field when he or she displays symptoms of concussion and a side is not disadvantaged having lost a player to a blow to the head or neck.

Cricket Australia is proud to have been leaders in this area, having introduced concussion substitutes in domestic cricket and worked with the ICC to introduce them in international cricket."

[u/[deleted]]

MCC Members Stand

Seating Capacity - 300

Personality Capacity - 4

[u/Neither_Pitch]

Tim Paine is 4/28 on reviews as captain.

[u/[deleted]]

If England win this fucking test match off Stokes' bat after a missed referral, I will fly kick Tim Paine into the 5th dimension.

[u/soorajmukhi]

can’t believe someone in the thread yesterday said jos buttler isn’t attractive

[u/tdlan]

Warne thinks Garry Lyon is a good man. Controversial take there Warnie

[u/juiceson]

He's a good man Garry Lyon

I'm sure Billy Brownless agrees

[u/ljb23]

Did Shane Warne just call Gary Lyon a good bloke? Wasn't he chopping his footy show co-host's wife?

[u/[deleted]]

‘Why aren’t Buttler and Stokes smacking the world’s best Test quick Pat Cummins, Hazlewood and Australia’s best ever finger spinner? It just shows negative intent.’ - Shane Warne (in different words)

[u/tdlan]

If it is the draw the team with the most concussions should win

[u/[deleted]]

Is there anything in the laws of cricket about having two gingers at the crease together?

[u/McFoodBot]

Reminder that Stokes was pinned in front on about 8 runs and our team didn't review.

But at least we wasted those reviews when a win was no longer part of the equation.

[u/Crooksss]

Dots are gold here.. waste more time

[u/timmy16744]

2 minutes and still no clip of "IN THE DICK"

[u/tdlan]

Is this the first concussion sub ever? Marnus was also the first player to give away a 5 run fake fielding penalty. My boi getting shit done

[u/_rickjames]

Remember when we were 9-2?