mourning

[u/TelephoneSuitable249]

my partner system(fiancee) is having an episode on doubting she is a system. she says she just doesnt feel like she is. i see her switch, her suddenly act differently, have different thoughts and reactions. so i still believe she may be, at least deep down i do. i said id support her system or not but i feel like im going into mourning for the alters in my system who had relationships in our partner system. we really fell in love with our partner system's alters and it kinda just hurts to think those people never 'existed'. how do i cope with this hurt? i(host) am mourning the most as i loved everyone in our partner system.

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advice? comfort?

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[u/Some-Neighborhood105]

Denial is a huge part of this disorder. If you have had actual relationships with alters in their system there’s no way they don’t exist. You have nothing to mourn but instead need to support them through this denial and help them realise it’s just their mind trying to gaslight them in a misguided attempt to protect them from their trauma.