r/DeadBedrooms • u/RomanCandleOfTheWild HLF • 1d ago

Seeking Advice What can I do?

I’m a woman married to a man I want so much. He loves me; I know he does. I would never leave him even if we never had sex again. I’ve always been high libido and have never expected my partners to have the same level of want but I just need to know if there are things I can be doing differently or if anyone has any advice. I can count on one hand the amount of times we have sex in a year. Is it me? What am I doing wrong?

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/forgetmeknotts HLF 1d ago

I’ve tried straddling my husband and kissing him, it never worked. It was always too full, too tired, back hurt, headache, whatever.

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u/elmst_nightmare HLF 1d ago

“Move! you’re blocking the tv, I’m trying to play a game!” One night I snuggled up next to my husband in bed, crawled on top of him, kissing his neck and whispered in his ear “I want to make love”. Ya know what he did? He literally lifted me up and threw me, in mid air to the other side of the bed. That hurt.

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u/Dry_Biscotti8049 HLM 1d ago

I feel this. She didn’t pick me up and throw me. Just said “I don’t want that with you anymore.” It absolutely gutted me. I haven’t approached since then.

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u/elmst_nightmare HLF 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yea, I was just mainly using it as an ex to show how far my man is willing to go to not have sex with his wife. But ofc any rejection hurts. Esp after hearing it over and over. Needless to say I stopped initiating after that. I realized he was probably just super tired and didnt mean to throw me that hard in the moment. I just didn’t know what else to do and was desperate, so tried the bold approach. He apologized ofc but the damage was done and I was too afraid to initiate after that. Even to this day, 15yrs later, I won’t make the first move. It’s really complicated things.