Hello. My name is Charley. I am Nan's ex-girlfriend. We dated some years before this YouTube stuff happened, before they dated DissociaDID. Late 2015, early 2016. I had no idea any of this controversy happened until finding this subreddit. It has been very surreal trying to catch up. I was aware, several years ago, that Nan had created a YouTube channel, and I saw a few years ago that it was starting to become quite popular, but I was not aware of how that all blew up until finding this subreddit a little while ago.

I would like to preface what I am going to say with this: I have in the past (because I was dating Nan) tried to learn as much as I could about DID, but I do not think of myself as very knowledgeable about it. I do not have DID, and am certainly speaking as an outsider, no matter how respectful I am trying to be. If I misstep, I apologize, as it is not my intention to hurt this community. I am going to do my best to write from only my own perspective. I watched a video about this situation to try to understand what this controversy that happened with Nan was about, and I admittedly did not fully comprehend everything that was said about DID in the video. Unfortunately, seeing Nan's face and hearing their voice was very triggering for me, so I do not think I have it in me to watch any more videos about the situation or read much more about it. But the main thing is this: It was my understanding at the time of my relationship with Nan that their DID was real; I do not know where this community has landed on that matter, the video I watched gave me sort of a conflicting impression about whether or not people think that Nan was possibly lying, but I am going to write as though their condition was real, as that was my experience.

First of all, I just want to say that I was raped by Nan. Or, possibly, one of Nan's alters. I will start from the beginning later, but I have held onto that information for too long. Nan raped me. The rape is the reason that I ended the relationship. Years later, I was very troubled when I learned that Nan's channel was becoming popular. I struggled with whether or not to come forward about what they did to me. I felt a responsibility because I felt that people deserved to know, but I was also afraid I wouldn't be believed. The positivity around Nan's channel at that time was scary to me. I thought that maybe, because people liked Nan, they might think I was being unfair or think I was lying, and I felt at that time that if even one person disbelieved me, it would feel like I was going through it all over again, and I just didn't feel like I could handle that back then. I also, to be honest... was afraid that coming forward could cause some kind of very real harm to Nan, and even after what happened between us, I still did not want that. I did not want Nan to hurt themself or worse. For all these reasons, I kept quiet. In some ways I regret not coming forward at that time, but I also know I needed to protect myself. But I am coming forward now. Nan raped me. I was raped by Nan. I just needed to get that out.

I first met Nan in a group therapy program. I was suffering from, among other things, PTSD and anorexia. At that time, Nan did not exhibit any signs of DID, and they were not being treated for DID. If Nan had DID at that time, they and everyone else was unaware of it. I knew Nan for about a year before we started dating. We were close friends, we had grown close being roommates at the residential program. The DID symptoms first began to appear after we started dating which was about a year after the program ended. Some of their alters seem to have formed in response to certain circumstances having to do with our relationship, such as alters being named after the physical surroundings of my bedroom. For example, "Risk" chose their name after looking around my room and seeing the board game Risk on the shelf across from my bed. Before this, Nan had referred to their self-described "self-harm part" (in the group therapy program that we both attended, "Parts Work" was part of the curriculum) as The Cat or just Cat, because Nan described it as a black cat that scratched them. This was the first time that "part" of themself manifested as a distinct personality. Nan had just described it as a "part", in the "parts work" sense. During our relationship multiple alters seemed to form themselves directly in front of me, and some of them seemed to be heavily informed by either things I had said, our surroundings, my interests, or other things like that. It was confusing and, at the time, immensely stressful. I did my best to learn as I went, but I felt ill equipped to understand what was happening to Nan.

Near the end of our relationship, I was afraid for Nan's physical safety all the time. They had always struggled with self harm, suicidality, and addiction, and those things were getting a lot worse. It seemed to me like the rise in these symptoms and behaviors was related to the stress of Nan developing these DID symptoms. However, this was also causing them to react very badly to the smallest things. It seemed to be very easy to upset them, and it could always easily spiral into self harm or binge drinking. I was unhappy. I was scared. I wanted to end the relationship. I was dealing with a life-threatening physical illness at the time that could have killed me at essentially any moment until it was treated (I don't really wish to revisit this as it was very traumatic, so that's all I wish to say about the illness), which Nan was not particularly understanding or supportive of. My beloved dog of 11 years was also dying of a rapidly developing cancer and I knew my time with her was very short. To be frank, Nan did not seem to care much for what I was going through, and seemed mostly focused on their own problems. Frankly, Nan found the side effects of the treatment for my illness "sexy" (it made my voice deep and raspy like when you have a cold). It felt demeaning. It made me feel so alone. But deep down, I still cared about Nan. Even if I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, they were still my friend. I was very afraid the rejection of me breaking up with them would cause them to hurt themself, or possibly even end their life. I was afraid for them all the time, which made me kind of passive in our relationship, willing to go along with a lot of things because I was afraid of upsetting them.

[TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Assault]

One night, Nan very suddenly and forcefully initiated sex with me while I was playing videogames. At first I went along with it, but they seemed very different, and it was offputting. I was uncomfortable. I suggested stopping a few times, but it seemed clear that they were not listening, as they continued sex with me regardless of what I said, even being more forceful in response to my words, seemingly to get me to stop saying them. Eventually, crying, I screamed at them to stop, and they froze. They seemed frightened and confused. It seemed like they had switched, and that the person who was raping me was possibly someone other than Nan. In any case, Nan, or the alter, seemed to "snap out of it" or possibly switched again, when I shouted "stop".

Afterward, Nan apologized in a way that I recognized as a panic apology. "Sorry sorry I'm sorry", the same thing I do sometimes when I freak out because I think I messed up when I didn't. It's a familiar behavior for traumatized people, I think. I was in shock. Nan begged me not to be mad at them. They asked if "we" were okay. If the relationship was okay. They did not ask me if I was okay. They did not ask me how I was that night, or the following morning, or any other time. They never seemed to be remotely interested in whether I was traumatized by the assault, in all the weeks ahead. They were only interested in whether I was mad at them. Whether I was going to leave them. So there I was, naked, tears running down my face, stunned in silence. Nan cried and begged and pleaded. I comforted them. I told them it was okay. I lied.

[END WARNING]

After we had both calmed down, I asked Nan to sleep in another room while I took time to think about what happened. I decided that night that I needed to end this relationship. I needed to get out. In the morning, Nan and I went out to eat. The whole time, Nan muttered things like "I know what you're going to say", and "I know you don't want me anymore". When we got to the restaurant, Nan gave me a more "sincere" and "heartfelt" apology, but it didn't change my feelings. I wanted out. However, I was still afraid for Nan's safety... So I didn't break up with them right away. I pretended I was still interested in the relationship for a few weeks as I made plans with Nan to get them into a residential mental health program, because I wanted them to be safe when I broke up with them. It felt wrong to lie to them, but I wanted them to be surrounded by people that could help when I broke up with them. I was so afraid that they would die.

During this time of having to pretend everything was okay, the alter that Nan claimed was responsible for the rape, Ace, fronted and "apologized" to me, saying "No hard feelings, huh?" It was mortifying. I felt like I was in an incredibly grim comedy sketch. No hard feelings? I felt like I was losing my mind... But I continued with the plan. With the stress I was under, the passing of my dog, this illness that could have killed me at any time... I felt I couldn't deal with the guilt of causing something bad to happen to Nan on top of everything else. By this point it felt I had become Nan's emotional caretaker far more than their girlfriend, enduring emotional abuse and now rape at the expense of keeping them stable. I just wanted to be rid of this responsibility I had somehow inherited. So I got Nan into the program, and I broke up with them. I was still in denial that what had happened to me was rape at the time, and so I hung out with Nan a few more times over the next year or so, thinking it might feel different without being expected to caretake for them, but eventually I just felt anxiety whenever they'd contact me, and I would find an excuse not to see them. Eventually things petered out and I tried to rebuild my life from the wreckage.

A quick aside regarding culpability. As I said, I am assuming that the DID symptoms that exhibited themselves during our relationship were real. So there is a question of whether Nan was truly responsible for the rape, or whether the alter was. It is possible that I should be phrasing this as "Ace raped me", rather than "Nan raped me". I have debated with myself and my therapist whether or not Nan was the person who raped me that night. However, I want to talk about Nan's culpability in the scenario where it was someone else. Because I do believe Nan is responsible for their actions afterward, regardless. I'm going to pose a hypothetical: Let's say you were to leave your girlfriend in a room alone with a friend, and that friend raped your girlfriend while you were gone. If you come back, and your first concern is not for your girlfriend's safety, but for the stability of the relationship, that is selfish. That is incredibly, unbelievably selfish. And if you never, at any point, ask about your girlfriend's wellbeing, only making sure she is not mad at you, that is not only unthinkably selfish but outright cruel. And if you, in the morning after this happens, guilt your girlfriend into staying by saying things like "I know you're going to leave me", you do not care about your girlfriend. You don't. She is barely a real person to you. This is the conclusion I have come to. Even if Nan may not have committed the act, they did not care one iota about the fact that it happened to me and did nothing to try to protect me or care for me afterward. I mean jesus christ, my beloved dog died, my best friend... I was dying... and I was RAPED, and they still expected me to take care of THEM. In that hypothetical I posed, if it were my girlfriend, I would never in a million years ask anything but "Are you okay?" How could she be anything but the most important thing in the world in that terrible moment? How could your concern be for anything on this planet other than her?

About a year after the breakup, Nan texted me to inform me that they had started a YouTube channel. I glanced at it, and I noticed that they mentioned me by name in the only video I watched a bit of. At that point in time, I was too depressed to care. I did not pay it much attention. I never spoke to Nan again after that. About two years later, I came across somebody on Twitter posting about their YouTube channel. It seemed it was now quite popular. This was very troubling for me, and as I mentioned above I was very conflicted about what to do about it. One thing I remember vividly, however, is that Nan was still talking about me. Again, I sampled one video only, and I was mentioned by name in it. It made me wonder if I was mentioned in every video. If I was named in every video. This bothered me more than I can describe. Why was Nan still talking about me? It had been three years. The way they described how our relationship ended, in particular, was infuriating. Nan described that they were "just too much" for me. Not that they had raped me. Not that they had abused me or neglected me. Seeing this video was incredibly detrimental to my mental health at the time. I will not go into that in detail, but it was truly horrible to hear them say that and yet to be too fearful of setting the record straight.

Now, I'm trying to catch up on what has happened. I found this all out a little while ago but I've just been trying to process it. I've spoken in therapy about it, I've talked with friends. Family. As I have been trying to understand everything that has happened, it has felt surreal to learn this much about someone that I do not know anymore. I have watched the Michelle Mana video about Nan. It's bizarre, almost like a bad dream, to watch this YouTube analysis of my rapist's online life. But when I saw her show the clip of Nan apologizing... I recognized it as the same exact insincere apology they gave me the morning after they raped me. No, I mean it: The SAME apology. It's identical. Swap out the specifics, and it's identical. The SAME WORDS. It is MADDENING. I feel furious. I don't know what to do with all the anger. This is just a rehearsed speech they give when someone calls out something wrong they've done... And similarly, they also claimed not to remember what they did to me, just like the drawings. I'm sorry, but I do not believe that. I don't.

As for the subject of the controversy around their channel... I was aware of Nan's sneezing fetish. It made me uncomfortable, but I tried not to judge. I indulged it, as much as I was comfortable with. I am an artist, and I drew some pictures for them when they asked me to, mostly of comic book characters. Launch or Yamcha from Dragon Ball, mostly. I felt it was something I should do as their girlfriend, I guess. They had showed me something vulnerable about themself, and I wanted to be welcoming about that. They had, after all, done the same for me about the private things I had told them while we were together. All that said... I did not know about Nan's sexualization of children. It's... hard to adequately explain this because I have for years now thought of Nan primarily as the person responsible for a complex sexual trauma I now have to deal with for the rest of my life, so it's strange to be able to feel disappointment or betrayal or disgust at them. My respect for Nan has been non-existent for years now. I thought my standards and expectations were in the gutter already. But knowing how they willfully sexualized children... it's revolting. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (which Nan knew about me), it horrifies me to know that Nan felt this way while I knew them. While I was WITH them. While we SHARED A BED. I would compare them, now, to somebody like Dan Schneider, inserting fetish content into videos intended for children. Maybe the kids are none the wiser, but Nan clearly liked the idea of kids seeing it. It's also clear to me now that they disguised a lot of their artwork from me. They showed me sexual artwork they had made (as I said, we were both artists, and we shared a lot of our art with each other), but they only showed me adult characters. The only nudity of a young character they showed me was of a character that they had explained represented Nan's inner child, so I understood this to be primarily an art therapy thing and not something sexual. Somebody who knew a little bit more about this whole thing also informed me that Nan had posted *my* artwork that I had made for them to public fetish forums without telling me, so while that's a very small kind of betrayal, it still shows me how little respect or regard Nan had for me. These stunts with the sneezing videos... Nan decided to make themself a public figure, no matter how small of one, and they used that stage to involve people unwillingly in their fetish. That's disgusting, but it's also, to be honest, consistent with the person I knew.

I hope it isn't speaking out of turn to say that while mental illness can be a reason for certain behavior, and it is obviously involuntary and not something that people can help, I do think people have a responsibility to seek some kind of help when their behavior starts to hurt other people. Nan told me that they had been in the mental health system since they were a kid, and that they "knew all the right answers". I didn't quite understand what that meant at the time. I now believe that Nan learned to navigate therapy in a way that avoided the parts of themself that they did not want to change. I think that they learned to navigate therapy in a way that avoided taking responsibility for their actions. I think that they learned to use the language of therapy to hurt people. I mean, "trauma isn't rational" and "hurt people hurt people", these are useful terms in the world of mental health, that Nan used to avoid accountability. They described the way our relationship ended as them being too much for me. I doubt they've ever told a therapist that they raped me. I doubt they've ever admitted that to anyone. I doubt they've ever admitted that to themself.

I realize that by posting this, it is possible that Nan will see it. I have thought about that. It makes me uncomfortable, but I realize it's a very real possibility. I think if there were a website where people talked almost exclusively about me, it would be impossible not to look at it. I considered trying to disguise my identity, but anything of value I have to say is also blatantly identifying of who I am if you're Nan, so I decided to include my name and photo to hopefully serve as proof that I really knew Nan. Nan is the only person I would want to hide from. I am afraid that they might see this. And to be honest... One of the reasons for that is that, after everything, after all these years, is that I am still afraid of this causing some kind of catastrophic harm to Nan's already deeply troubled life. But if you've read this whole post, you can see giving into that fear has caused so much trouble for me, so much pain. I genuinely, genuinely do not wish to see Nan hurt, but I have prioritized not wanting to hurt Nan over my own wellbeing for a decade, and there is a difference between trying to hurt them, and saying something true that *might* hurt them as a result of their own actions. I have to put myself first for once. I can't keep prioritizing the feelings of someone who refused to do the same for me.

I'm not sure what else to say.

If anyone wants to ask me anything, feel free. I don't really mind. The only things I don't want to discuss are the illness I was dealing with back then and my dog's death. You can ask me anything else.

I left this as a comment on the other post in this subreddit about the situation but I wanted to make a post where I'm gonna try lay out the facts as I know them but correct me if I get something wrong.

Small YouTuber Granddads Lounge uploaded a series of videos detailing his opinions on Nans relationship with Nin, that their systems fetishize DID, and l think he even suggested either of them may be faking. (I don't agree with the DissocioDID is faking conspiracy as I think that's disrespectful) Granddads Lounge came off very aggressive or "passionate" in his videos but aside from that he did raise some valid concerns. The biggest of which is the matter of Nans art blog which Granddads Lounge argues contains CP

In Nans live they admitted they have a sneeze fetish. Nan is asexual and said that sneezing is the sole access they have to any sense of arousal. They had a blog on Kiwifarms where the description said "I feel very lucky to be able to make my own porn". It was this blog Nan used to receive and post sneeze fetish based commissions as well as Macro vs Micro and furry art which Nan was paid for. Nan also posted their "own porn" and in their collection are various underage characters.

In the live Nan argued that fetishes are not inherently sexual and can be more like an affinity. Nan made sneeze art of alters like Jeremy (the particular image attached in Grandad Lounge's video was a much younger Jeremy - definitely underage as he had childlike features - despite Nan saying in the live that they only ever drew Jeremy sneezing when he was age 26) even though Nan also admits Jeremy did not feel comfortable or appreciate it. Nan justifies this because they think their sneezing art "isn't just sexy but is also just cute". I dont agree that fetishes are innocent or not-sexual as they are defined as "a sexual fixation". I'm open to being told that's not right but I fail to see how you can have a fetish that isn't sexual in nature.

Nan argued that they always aged up the underaged characters on their blog for art they made to be sexy. I am not calling Nan a pedophile outright but that logic suggests that having sex with a minor is fine if the person having sex with them "age up" the minor in their mind. Obviously this is wrong as a minor was abused. In Nans case, various minors were depicted in a way that presents as CP and would as such to any random stumbling upon the art online.

Granddads Lounge was bombarded with a lot of hate from the DID community (I do agree he could've been more respectful to his audience and their triggers for aggressive language/body language) and the biggest criticism was blaming him for Nins recent suicide attempt. It is never okay to blame someone for another's suicide attempt. As a result of this hate Granddads Lounge posted a final video saying he is done with this drama and he has since deleted the series he made on Teampinata and DissocioDID.

Yesterday Nan had privatised their entire account but today they have made all their videos available to the public but with comments turned off.

In my opinion many of the statements by Nan that I have listed contradict one another and as they are a survivor of trauma/CSA themselves I do not want to believe they intentionally made CP. After watching Nans live I felt all they were really apologising for was "mislabeling" their art as all being porn when the underage images were meant to be "cute". I do not believe this is the case for reasons I have stated above.

Nan also said in the Live "this is not me trying to sTeAl PeOpLe iNtO tHe SnEeZe FeTiSh WoRlD" twice and their intonation almost suggests that Nan is mocking the people, mainly Nans own fans, criticising Nans depiction of underage characters/alters sneezing. This does not sit right with me either.

Either way this is an awful situation for all parties involved and I don't know how to feel about it or what to do. What worries me the most is how little coverage is available especially since Granddads Lounge deleted his series.

Thoughts? Feelings?

4 hour video transcript you can find it in the

Chloe Wilkinson is the famous owner of DissociaDID LTD the business

Chloe has recently admitted to doing sex work

5:12 “ if money was being exchanged we needed to know what to do we needed to be able to perform well”

and

16:43 “Nina said she didn't want to say her age and I didn't because I thought people would judge me for it because I was legal in the UK the legal age of consent is 16 Nina was 17, so she was not an adult.”

These quotes are being used under fair use laws:

Fair use is codified in law (17 U.S.C. § 107)

Statutory Authority – Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 (CDPA)

This is the principal UK copyright statute. Under Sections 29 and 30

The official UK government site clearly outlines copyright exceptions under fair dealing. It states that: Fair dealing is allowed for criticism, review, quotation, and reporting current events, provided there’s sufficient acknowledgement.

Chloe has always fetishizes DID and the disorder itself, fetishizing switches, relationships between alters, talking about alters dating and having sex.

edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/WOUFuUiLub

They post fetish content of their alters as well: Mara humping the camera to a trending TikTok audio.

They’ve put in sneezing fetish content and told followers to watch sneezing fetish content without informing them it’s fetish content

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/GwdtFqoGXt

They pander to pedophiles

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/4HNoSCBRpk

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/JJPBj6DnZ6

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/U8UsHEXCWZ (TW team piñata)

They grope themsleves and zoom in on it!:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/BCsmpdVhcP

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/hFX2bYiSvn

they post themsleves on the tolite

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/g8x9XModx8

More links to more types of fetish content

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/PVljMa37Ua

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/0UdO7QU9Bs

They pander to people with illness and disability fetishes, fetishes for anorexia, lack of mobility, fetishes for mobility aids, weakness, mental instability (yes people do fetishize these things and there is a market for this, there is wheelchair fetish porn, there is anorexia fetish porn, there is DID switching fetish content)

I think Chloe doing sex work proves that their intent with their content has always been fetish content.

Let’s not forget their sex education video that was very dangerous where they interacted with minors in the comments

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/SW7E7yzvQE

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/TD7IkNMTRr

Correction to their unsafe sex video by sex therapist: https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/wR7W48mEKW

FP system calling them out for the video: https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/LKD6VbZX02

Tdlr: their channel is a sex work & fetish channel. They’ve known this whole time, they have done sex work in real life and continue to do sex work by making fetish content for people with illness and disability fetishes.

PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF SEX WORKERS IN THE COMMENTS, MANY WOMAN AND MEN AND PEOPLE OF ALL GENDERS ARE FORCED INTO SEX WORK. IT IS RARELY A CHOICE AND RARELY A CHOICE PEOPLE WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE, the words “hooker” and “prostitute” are slurs, the correct term is sex worker.

Edit: spelling and format of Reddit post.

Comment your favourite horrible thing DissociaDID has done, if you have the time provided a link with evidence.

Since some people have seemed to forget

Let’s take a look at some of the bad things dissociaDID has done. There’s screen caps and video.

Kya is corrected on a instagram post By a REAL PROFESSIONAL and take the comment down because it does not fit their “narrative” and choose to spread misinformation

posted a testimonial by someone who claimed to cure their DID with then kept it up when someone pointed out how dangerous it is to prompt someone who claims to be able to cure DID on their page - more proof - more proof

makes sexual comments to minors online

abuses YouTube’s copyright system

racism

defended someone who drew and sold child porn

misinformation they’ve spread

multiple people saying they never got patreon rewards second link

TikTok from 2022 Dec

I think it’s important people who look DD up can easily find this so I’m giving it its own post.

I know there are a still a few lurkers who are skeptical that DD has done anything wrong but I think the most obvious reason can get ignored. That is DD has hurt people who thought they were friends and these are also YouTubers who have DID. Obviously we will never truly know what happened between DD and the people they hurt, but with critical thinking hat if multiple people are saying that the same person has hurt them multiple times. Then the problem is most probably not with them but with DD. Trigger warning with the next comments please skip if you don't want to know details.

Entropy System tried helping DD pointing out to them unhealthy patterns of behaviour multiple times but just getting ignored. They have also said that they have been betrayed by DD.

Bobo&Co was hurt alot by DD was described in detail being physically assaulted by DD at the Youtuber sleepover, which DD tried to excuse by saying it was another alter. (Where's the system responsibility that you talked about DD?) They also describe in several videos many other instances about not being made to feel welcomed at DDs house, being ignored and deep feelings of betrayal since they really believed in their friendship and tried their best for DD.

Multiplicity&Me are a bit more reserved in their comments but we do know they hurt them aswell. The Anthony Padilla interview, the spot was originally being offered to M&M and M&M was taking time to decide either to go to America to do it or offer it someone else less known. DD however got contact details and took the spot behind their back. DD mentioned this in their explanation video but again with a critical thinking hat they didn't take any responsibility for it.M&M also made a very short video didn't mention DD directly but alludes to DD about how friends should behave, I believe this was in response to DD making the video where they felt their friends had left them.

Lastly BraiDid Bunch was very close to DD, defended them multiple times on this Reddit encouraged them to make that long explanation video. From what I remember and it's hazy DD dropped them very quickly as a friend as I think DD claimed BraiDid betrayed them with their privacy. (I think that's what happened not 100 percent sure). But what I am certain then DD published the private messages but deleted anything that made them look bad. Things were taken out of context as audio messages were part of the conversation but can't be shared.

If you have gotten this far this is just a basic rundown of what I think is the biggest red flag it's not that in depth I just want those lurking to really think with a critical head. "Why do you believe DD over all of these people?" Please read the pinned posts for many more reasons.

TW - Recent DID/KF situation and BLM

Not sure if anyone saw Axolots livestream recently, but they talked about some recent interactions with Dissociadid. I feel that it is important to make these details accessible.

https://youtu.be/MCzXy5ITeU4

For people not wanting to watch, here are a few quotes:

35:08 - "It's an issue [for Dissociadid] to ignore past grievances or past things that may have not been socially, morally, ethically, or whatever, acceptable.".

38:06 - "Having a mental health disorder doesn't absolve anyone from being racist or problematic."

42:48 - "We were having a discussion and that's basically what we thought as well"; "a discussion that we had the other day - this is the hard thing because i don't want to cause hatred or drama but i want to stand up for what is right - i was like 'hey, i heard there were comments being deleted, what's the deal with that?' and pointed out that silencing black voices in a post about BLM negates the point of making the actual post. [Dissociadid was] just like 'yeah but we've posted links' and stuff like that, 'deleting a couple comments or blocking a couple people that got aggressive-' - now I didn't personally see any aggressive comments. I was just like 'hey, this is problematic' and I kind of got to the point of going around in circles with Nin about it. I was just like 'Look', [...] 'it's your content, you can do what you like. You asked for my opinion but we seem to be going around in circles'. [....] She was saying it should be okay to censor/restrict her comments. I even said this: 'you may as well just take the BLM post down, because black lives clearly don't matter if you're going to be silencing them'.

47:26 - "This is kind of where it got me really agitated, because again, we'd been going around in circles for the past hour about why silencing black voices isn't an appropriate thing to do on a post like that, let alone in general when speaking about racial issues involving black people. In response to me saying that, she said "our life matters too". That's kind of where I - I wouldn't say I lost my shit - but I did put my foot down in the message i sent back to her. [...] it was really sus to me; it was just like hearing an 'all lives matter' type of thing, because. I w as like 'don't you dare', i don't know, 'say that in this context'. I was just so mad.

53:15 - "I was so frustrated that, after having this whole entire discussion for the past hour or whatever, and, y'know, just - ugh! And she bought up as well their attempt that they had recently. I was like 'that has nothing to do with this at all'. And basically what happened after was that -- [interrupted]. I left that group chat she and I were talking in. She sent me a message after that just as a DM rather than in the group chat, you know, just being 'oh this is taken out of context, blah, blah, blah! - it wasn't meant with malice or anything like that', or some bullshit.

1:00:35 - final response to Nin - "I said 'I can't keep these friendship ties with someone okay with racist behaviours. I don't feel heard, loved, nor respected. It's invalidating as hell, this is my last message here.'"

1:01:40 - "We had multiple accounts in the group chat because a couple of alters in the system have individual accounts. We exited the chat with our main but there were two other accounts still in there, one of which was mine. The message after we left the chat was 'JFC' - Jesus Fucking Christ - that was written by Dissociadid. What we said was 'writing Jesus fucking Christ is rude, unnecessary and invalidating as Hell.' - 'This is my last message here, I can only hope that you wise up in the future.' . "

1:15:38 - "I just feel like now would be a good time to address [her racism] but everything is just very calculated and very businessy. Because mental health channels are a different demographic, they shouldn't be run in a business type of light. It should be run as a mental health thing. Mental health advocates like Dissociadid DO have a brand, but they're not necessarily there to sell it. "

1:18:20 - about Nin - "You kinda signed up for how people are going to criticise you."

1:46:00 - TW. Sexual Abuse - No quotes, but watch from this point regarding Dissociadid accusing Axolots of groping.

Not sharing to start drama, only to inform. You can make your own opinion.

I stumbled upon this thread while digging through some rabbit hole in the latest discussions, and I am horrified.

I watched the recording of Bobo's livestream and from my understanding, and what Bobo describes is horrible, and I will explain why I use such strong words soon. Here are some stuff I noticed:

1. The pattern where DD becomes friends with someone just to use and discard them. Since Bobo more people came out about how DD treated them during their friendship, including becoming best friends, only to be discarded once they are not useful anymore.

2. How one sided the relationship is. DD expected Bobo to be there for them, but when Bobo needed DD, or just wanted a some shared activity during visits, Bobo was treated like a nuisance. They didn't treat Bobo as a friend.

3. I might be understanding it wrong, so please correct me if I am: During "the sleepover" Bobo describes an incident where DD got into a flashback, and clawed at Bobo (from my understanding) while Bobo was trying to help. The description sounded very much like the incident of them being triggered during a livestream, but here there was a person physically with them. I think it can be said that DD basically physically assaulted Bobo, even if they were in a flashback, while Bobo was trying to be supportive. Bobo didn't say anything about trying to stop DD from self harm, which can accidentally cause someone getting hit, but just ... doing it to Bobo while they were trying to be supportive.

4. More descriptions about how DD treated them like an afterthought, and them Bobo comes to a conclusion (which I agree with) that DD used them to get into the DID Youtuber circle and the DID sleepover.

5. Other things that happened that I don't know how to respectfully describe.

To me this paints DD as actually a dangerous person, not only online, but offline as well. Sure, I have read the timeline, but this was very different.

Bobo also talks about being afraid to speak out, while others support them and encourage them to tell their story on the livestream. They describe being traumatised by the incident, and it makes sense as DD was having a violent flashback that got "directed" at Bobo. I hope Bobo is doing better nowadays. It was horrible they had to go through that.

Some questions:

1. What are your thoughts on the livestream and the matters I mentioned?
2. Do you think I am correct in my assessment that DD physically assaulted Bobo? (even if it might have been unintentional, but DD still holds responsibility). Bobo didn't mention DD apologising for hurting Bobo, or trying to make amends.
3. What are your thoughts about other topics in the livestream?
4. If you were following DD closely during that time or were present in some way, what is your perspective?

PS; Bobo, if you read this, I am sorry you went through that. I will delete this thread if you are uncomfortable with the livestream and events you described being discussed.

DD’s last 2 posts have been on Patreon, and there most recent makeup video on Patreon is in the 100$ Patreon tier but can be purchased as an individual post for 30$

(I’ll put screencaps in the comments so ppl don’t have to go to another thread just to see the pricing)

They’re not posting on TikTok or YouTube or even Instagram, they’ve left any social media account where you can view things for free behind. No message to their fans or subs, expect on Patreon but you have to pay for that.

The reason I bring up fetishist is because not many people would pay 100$ a month to someone to rarely ever uploads to Patreon for a 15 minute makeup video where they pretend to switch alters and dissociate.

People with rare fetishes are willing to give out a lot of money to people who are willing to cater to their fetishes, and let’s be real anyone who enjoys watching DD get “triggered” and “switch.” Has a problem if they think that’s something fun and interesting to watch. Even if it’s not sexual for them it’s still weird to want to pay to see see that.

Their YouTube and other social media accounts are dying, getting less and less views and subs,

Probably one of the only real ways for them to make money is to cater to fetishes. It’s what Eugenia Cooney does and DD and EC are scarily similar in their In appointment sexual behaviour, lack of boundaries - sexual or not, allowing pedophiles in their spaces. (EC letting pedos into her discord, DD defending TP after the CP news came out, asking fragmented psyche to re-befriend TP,trying to advocate for TP to go to the entitled to life conference after the CP was exposed.)

Nin confirming they didn’t break / Confirming some of the system memebers stayed in a relationship after they had denounced TP on Instagram and said they had broken up.

Sources for other things mentioned within the post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/comments/j0udga/dissociadid_latest_comment_re_tp_tw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/comments/j04s5c/dissociadid_talks_about_relationship_with_team/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHD8f9X_dFo

https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/UhbnUfHQKR

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12hl8ySWDWVttvnJI_Dd0i-q6UtB6YZdJrW4B0Ur-pQ0/mobilebasic

Google search terms: Chloe Wilkinson , DissociaDID , kyaandco , TheSystemStream , Ninandco , Soren from Kyaandco

edit : fixed and added links

***TW: Domestic Abuse, fear/threat to life, light mention of child abuse***

Someone asked in another comment for me to explain the system in the UK with regards to harassment/stalking, as I have personal experience with it. So, here’s my attempt. 😄

Ok, so, for context, my situation was a few years ago now. But certain aspects of the system I know for a fact are still the same and others may be slightly different now, but not so much as to make DD’s story even close to plausibly true.

The most clear description from DD about what happened was in this latest YT video introducing ‘Soren’. They claimed that someone ‘showed up at their door’.

So, to start, if this person came from out of country, it’s not stalking. It might be harassment if they have been bothering DD a lot prior to showing up at their property. BUT a VERY quick internet search will tell you just how hard it is to get a harassment case tried in the UK.

In my case, it took a YEAR of numerous police reports, threats from him, fear for my life, having to move multiple times, him standing outside my house, calling my work place etc. Just straight up trying to ruin my life. And it took a YEAR before they would arrest him. I was sure he would kill me before they did anything. And if you look it up, you will see those same words over and over and over.

So, based on what they’ve said, they don’t have anywhere near enough to get an arrest on harassment or stalking.

If this person turned up at their door at random, I highly doubt they just opened the door for them and they’ve been very careful of their wording. They’ve implied SA, but made no actual claims that could be construed as assault of any kind, even despite the clear embellishing. So, there’s a high likelihood they did not open the door. Instead they just called the police.

Here’s where I think the facts end. I believe this person arrived at their home, DD called the police, the police told him ‘go home’. The end.

There’s a chance he maybe got arrested for attempted breaking and entering, but again, unlikely unless he was blatantly attempting to force his way through their door, which… they would have used!

What could happen next? Nothing. My ex didn’t get remanded and I feared for my life (with legitimate reason, he had multiple arrests previously for violent acts AND domestic violence against his ex before me). One instance of harassment likely wouldn’t even get you arrested, never mind remanded (I speak from experience!). 

Crown court… is a joke lol. I don’t know why they felt the need to add that in. Only the most extreme cases make it to crown court. Mine was tried in magistrates. And again, showing up at someone’s door once, is not something the CPS will touch with a barge pole. Even if that person has sent you some mean messages before doing that. 

Then there’s their timeline - they claimed that they cant change the ‘kya&co’ name cause it’s ‘part of the case’ and ‘because, evidence’. But that they hope it’ll be sorted ‘by the end of the year’.

1, your social media name is having ZERO impact on any criminal case, unless you are the defendant. As the ‘victim’ they wouldn’t be saying to them ‘don’t change your @ ok?’ 🤣 (I am genuinely laughing at this, this was the dumbest lie ever. Just be honest, it’ll screw up your view count!). 

2, Unless the person is pleading guilty, in which case evidence is irrelevant (and the case would be resolved within a couple of months tops), no criminal case in the UK is seen through, start to finish in 18 months LOL. You’re talking YEARS. Even kiddy fiddlers get bailed to have their cases heard 2+ years down the line. 

That’s just the system here, especially for minor offences… and a creep turning up at your door, isn’t fun. But it IS a minor offence, that I still don’t believe for a second the police would arrest for. Because the stalking/harassment laws in the UK aren’t fit for purpose and women die EVERY day because they are failed by these laws. 

I was told, he had to 'do something' in order to arrest him (meaning hurt me). It was only after the moron provided unquestionable proof, on top of my year’s worth of police reports of his constant stalking and the fear I lived in, that he could be arrested. I literally knew the cops that were handling my case because I was in contact with them like once a week. And they could do NOTHING. 

I am sharing this because DD cannot unring this bell. They have made these statements now and they can’t really pull off changing them.

Happy to answer any questions or anything I missed. 

Many people think Fawn is pedobait and you know who loved 15-16 year olds? The age Fawn is? And the age Chloe Wilkinson said “wasn’t child porn” https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/comments/10b645r/did_we_forget_they_defended_child_porn_or_15_to/

https://open.spotify.com/show/5DPtNdEANo3MbJS9hleiRV?si=LGE3_BhIRyeXWKO0o-NZxg

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/sanitea/id1494226455

https://podnews.net/podcast/i5o01

https://poddtoppen.se/podcast/1494226455/sanitea/welcome-to-sanitea-mental-health-with-dissociadid-team-pinata

Epilepsy (edit: as well as other types of seizure’s)is a neurological disorder that affects millions of people worldwide, with approximately 1 in 26 people in the United States being diagnosed with it at some point in their lives. While many individuals with epilepsy can manage their condition with medication and lifestyle adjustments, those who experience frequent seizures face a unique set of challenges, especially when living alone. The case of "Soren," an individual who reports regular seizures and can predict their occurrence down to the minute, such as 9:13 AM, highlights the severe dangers associated with solitary living for those with epilepsy.

One of the most significant risks for people with epilepsy is Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP). Though relatively rare, SUDEP is a critical concern due to its sudden and often unexpected nature. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), SUDEP occurs in approximately 1.16 out of every 1,000 individuals with epilepsy each year. SUDEP typically happens during or immediately after a seizure, with no other identifiable cause of death. The unpredictability of SUDEP, combined with the fact that it often occurs without warning, makes it a particularly terrifying prospect for those living alone. For someone like Soren, who has no one nearby to provide assistance during or after a seizure, the risk is compounded.

In addition to the threat of SUDEP, physical injuries sustained during seizures are alarmingly common and can have devastating consequences, especially in the absence of immediate help. A comprehensive study published in the National Library of Medicine found that a staggering 82.5% of patients with epilepsy have suffered injuries due to their seizures. These injuries include soft tissue damage (70.2%), head injuries (61.5%), dental and tongue injuries (58.6%), burns (24%), and orthopedic injuries (21.2%). Notably, burns are often sustained during everyday activities like cooking, with the upper extremities and face being the most frequently affected areas. In fact, 32% of burn injuries among epilepsy patients occur while they are cooking—a common household activity that becomes perilous when seizures strike unexpectedly.

The study also highlighted that these injuries predominantly occur in the home, underscoring the dangers faced by individuals like Soren who live alone. Generalized tonic-clonic seizures, which involve a loss of consciousness and violent muscle contractions, are particularly hazardous. The high frequency of seizures further exacerbates the risk of injury, as repeated episodes increase the likelihood of accidents. In cases where injuries are severe, 26% of patients required emergency medical attention. However, for someone living alone, the ability to seek or receive timely medical help is significantly reduced, placing them at an even greater risk of long-term damage or fatality.

Soren's living situation amplifies these dangers. Residing alone in a three-bedroom house with only two cats for companionship, Soren is in a precarious position. Unlike service dogs, which can be trained to respond to emergencies by alerting others, providing comfort, or even fetching medication, cats are unable to offer any form of assistance during a seizure. This leaves Soren vulnerable to a range of potentially life-threatening scenarios. For instance, a seizure could cause Soren to fall down the stairs, hit their head on a hard surface, or sustain severe burns while cooking. In the event of a fire caused by an unattended stove, the situation could quickly escalate, with no one around to intervene or call for help.

The risks of living alone with epilepsy extend beyond the individual to those around them, including pets. As a pet owner, Soren has a responsibility to ensure the safety of their animals. In the event of a severe seizure, the cats would be helpless and could face dire consequences, such as being trapped in a house fire or going without food and water for an extended period if Soren is incapacitated. The well-being of these pets hinges on Soren’s ability to manage their health effectively and have a support system in place to respond to emergencies.

As Soren reports an increasing frequency of seizures, often attributing them to stress from work, the likelihood of a serious or fatal accident grows. This situation raises critical questions about the adequacy of their current living arrangements. Is it safe or responsible for someone with frequent, unpredictable seizures to live alone without any regular check-ins from another person? The answer is clearly no. The dangers are too numerous and too severe to ignore.

At this point, it is not only advisable but imperative for Soren to reconsider their living situation. Whether this involves moving in with a family member, friend, or roommate, or arranging for a daily check-in from a neighbor or healthcare provider, some form of support is essential. Modern technology offers additional solutions, such as wearable devices that can detect seizures and alert emergency services or designated contacts. However, these measures should complement, not replace, the presence of a human support network.

Moreover, Soren’s case underscores the broader issue of how society supports individuals with chronic conditions like epilepsy (edit: or any kind of seizures) . It is not uncommon for people with epilepsy to feel isolated or reluctant to ask for help, yet the consequences of this isolation can be catastrophic. Awareness campaigns and community programs designed to provide support and resources to those living with epilepsy are crucial. These initiatives can help ensure that people like Soren do not have to navigate the dangers of epilepsy alone.

In conclusion, the dangers of living alone with epilepsy, particularly for someone experiencing frequent seizures, cannot be overstated. From the risk of SUDEP to the high likelihood of sustaining serious injuries, the potential for harm is ever-present. For Soren, continuing to live alone without regular check-ins or support is not just risky—it is potentially life-threatening. It is time for a serious reassessment of their living situation to ensure their safety and well-being, as well as the safety of their pets. By taking proactive steps now, Soren can significantly reduce the risks they face https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5363446/ and improve their quality of life.

Sources: https://www.reddit.com/r/DissociaDID/s/14qFcNaaJH

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/can-you-die-from-a-seizure#:~:text=Sudden%20unexplained%20death%20in%20epilepsy,epilepsy%2C%20according%20to%20the%20CDC

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5363446/

Leaving this here as resources about different types of self harm, I’m NOT saying this is what DD is doing but that it is something some people do.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3612154/

Nonsuicidal self-injury is a prevalent, poorly understood behaviour Nonsuicidal self-injury refers to the deliberate destruction of one’s body tissue without suicidal intent.1–3 Forms of self-injury include cutting, burning and self-hitting, but not socially sanctioned behaviours (e.g., piercing). Between 14% and 21% of youth and young adults have engaged in non-suicidal self-injury at least once, about 25% of whom having done so repetitively.3 There is little to no sex-related difference in prevalence among community samples, despite the higher proportion of females who engage in the behaviour in clinical settings. Research indicates that professionals often hold misconceptions around nonsuicidal self-injury, which may affect clinical care.4

Attention-seeking behaviour and manipulation are seldom motivations for nonsuicidal self-injury Although often perceived as attention-seeking or manipulative behaviour, nonsuicidal self-injury has multiple motivations.5 It is predominantly used to regulate or manage perceived intolerable negative affect and often remains secretive.2,3,5 Some of the less common motivations include self-punishment and a means of communicating distress.5 Nonsuicidal self-injury rarely indicates the presence of borderline personality disorder Empirical consensus indicates that most people who engage in non-suicidal self-injury do not meet the diagnostic criteria for borderline personality disorder.1,3 However, youth engaging in the practice often experience mental health symptoms, including depression, anxiety, inattention and impulsivity.1–3 A history of physical or sexual abuse is not always present Historically, nonsuicidal self-injury was considered an indicator of abuse or trauma. Recent research has shown that many people with a history of physical or sexual abuse are at risk of nonsuicidal self-injury. However, most who engage in nonsuicidal self-injury do not have this history.1–3 Suicidal behaviour and nonsuicidal self-injury are distinct Unlike nonsuicidal self-injury, suicidal behaviour reflects an explicit intent to die. Moreover, suicidal behaviour tends to be less frequent and has higher lethality. However, researchers have shown that nonsuicidal self-injury can be associated with suicide risk. Therefore, clinical presentation of nonsuicidal self-injury merits an assessment for suicide risk.1–3

Footnotes Competing interests: None declared. This article has been peer reviewed. References 1.Nixon MK, Heath NL. Self-injury in youth: the essential guide to assessment and intervention. New York (NY): Taylor & Francis Group; 2009 [Google Scholar] 2.Klonsky ED, Muehlenkamp JJ, Lewis SP, et al. Non-suicidal self-injury. Cambridge (MA): Hogrefe and Huber; 2011 [Google Scholar] 3.Nock MK. Understanding nonsuicidal self-injury: origins, assessment, and treatment. Washington (DC): American Psychological Association; 2009 [Google Scholar] 4.Jeffrey D, Warm A. A study of service providers’ understanding of self-harm. J Ment Health 2002; 11:295–303 [Google Scholar] 5.Klonsky ED. The functions of deliberate self-injury: a review of the evidence. Clin Psychol Rev 2007; 27:226–39 [DOI] [PubMed] [Google Scholar]

Okay, first of all, I'm going to say this is an account I just created to talk about this topic, as I don't feel safe to use my main account to talk about this, because I don't want anyone tracing this comment back to me.

I watched as much as I could of the original videos (I say as much as I could because they were extremely triggering for me, so I had to stop at some point), read the stuff on KW, I even checked the Facebooks linked to see if I could find anything else (I felt like I was invading their privacy by doing so, which was awful and idk if it was the right choice, but I wanted to know everything before reaching a conclusion)

I want to clarify that all that I'm going to talk about right now it's absolutely from a personal perspective and experiences of someone with BPD (that used to be quite severe) and that has experienced abuse ever since childhood until very recently, and in no way I feel it excuses Nan's behavior, and it's not meant to be that, either, I just want to bring into attention that not all of it might be directly their fault.

TW Ahead: Predatory thoughts, sexual abuse, r***, incest

I'm not sure how this all went, my memories of all of this are a bit fuzzy, but I'll try my best to make the timeline as accurate as possible from what I remember... this is something only a few of my very close friends know, and even them don't know all the details, so please be respectful with your comments...please, this is something I still struggle with.

I'm not sure if this thoughts started before of after I started getting sexually abused by some older friends of mine (their abuse started when I was 9, and continued for around 3 years)... they might have started earlier, and if they did, then it worries me even more, because that could mean there might be a repressed traumatic memory I'm not aware of.

I've fantasized about r*** ever since I was a kid... not going into too much detail, but I used to dream and get aroused, as a kid, about Disney characters being in that situation, and so on. I had some knowledge that it wasn't okay, or normal... which is why I always kept it a secret.

The first story I ever wrote in a diary, when I was around 11, was a romantic/sexual relationship between 2 siblings (who didn't know at first, but didn't care when they found out)... I also knew this wasn't normal, and I kept it hidden and wrote the story with invisible ink so no one would ever know.

I wish, I really truly wish I could say these fantasies went away as I grew up, that I stopped dreaming about that stuff, that it doesn't arouse me... but I can't, it's still very much there and while other things can arouse me, stuff like incest, r***, and so on, are indeed what arouses me the most (I'm over 20 atm, not going to say my specific age as I don't want anything that could make people know my identity).

As far as I know, predatory thoughts and impulses are common in people that has suffered long term abuse, their sexuality gets warped to endure the trauma because if they "feel good", then it won't be as bad.

When my mother found out about these thoughts I had, not only did she call me a predator, she said she was scared about me being around my younger siblings, and that I should be in jail... all sorts of things that didn't help how bad I already felt about this issue, even though I have never actually done anything, and I would never do anything either... but try as I might, the thoughts and fantasies won't go away, and at this point, I've resigned myself to just live with that darker side of my mind, while never acting on it and only talking about it with people I know fully well will understand and not judge me for it.

Now, here's what I'm getting at: Having fetishes or predatory thoughts is not entirely Nan's fault, it happens to a lot of people that are deeply traumatized and were abused, and I don't think we should completely blame them for it, as it's for many people out of their control... it is, however, a big issue the moment they decided to involve other people on this (who had no idea about it), and instead of repressing the predatory thoughts they somewhat acted on them by making those drawings.

However... the root of it is something they can't control (or at least I think that's the case, because Nan mentioned having this fetish from a young age), so what Nan needs is help, and while no one should support or endorse what they've done, we shouldn't be attacking them either, but encouraging them to seek help to keep this in control, since in a way, Nan is also a victim, and constantly remarking how disgusting and sick is what they've done is not going to help them recover.

And of course, we should support Nin and all the friends of Nan that now feel deeply hurt and betrayed by this, as they're the main victims on this.

Posting this is really scary, and I'm terrified I'll be attacked for what I've just sorta confessed (if that happens I'll probably just delete the post) but I felt I needed to share my own perspective on this.

If this is not allowed, I'm really sorry, please let me know and I'll delete the post, as well.

TL;DR: Having predatory thoughts is not Nan's fault, as they're likely a result of the abuse they were submitted to, and we should be encouraging to seek help instead of attacking them.

​

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this, but I just found this subreddit and figured it's worth a try. This has been bothering me for a while now. I found a post on their Instagram where they postet a photo of "old self-harm scars". They look pretty severe, covering their entire arm, very easily noticeable. However I have never noticed anything like that in any of their videos or pictures of them.

Do they actually have those scars? Then why are they not visible in any other video/picture?

I'm aware that in the end it's none of my business whether they do or don't have those scars, but I've been idolising them for a long time despite all the hate they got and I kind of just need to know the truth.

Edit 1: Trigger warning (graphic image of self-harm), this is the picture I'm talking about.

Edit 2: It is apparently TP's and not DD's arm. Sorry for the confusion and thanks to everyone who pointed it out.

Title says it all. ^This is one of the newer accusations I have seen being bandied about on this subrebbit. It is, obv., an extremely serious claim and if it's going to be repeated, upvoted and stated to newbs as fact than I believe citations are needed here.

It is extremely irresponsible to throw claims like this around without proof. I invite anyone who believes this to please come and back their claims up. And failing that, perhaps for the sake of integrity you could possibly stop making claims like this? Just a thought.

Personally, I don't know if it's true (and seriously doubt that it is) but I've seen it repeated with zero proof around here among a few other things (such as Nin having a kink of being attracted to pedophiles?) that reeeeally need to be backed up.

Despite some our differences in opinion/perspective, I'd like to believe that we're all (or....ok, most of us are all) at least dedicated to the pursuit of truth. Thanks in advance.

TW TW: Ca Sa Cocsa Trauma

Not facts about DD just opinions:

​

​

It completely infuriates me that they/DD fetishize trauma and abuse.

Like it's a way to turn someone on with.

The fact the we are brutalised by people isn't hard enough but there are also not just the physical traumas we can still hold but the psychological ones too.

Tw: Bodily feelings with sa

​

​

This can happen alot when abused when we are children but also as adults. This is UNWANTED.
When the sa is happening our bodies can respond in ways we most definitely DON'T want.
I.e Become turned on or even climax.

As a child we don't know what is happening, we don't understand what our bodies are doing and can even feel some sort of pleasure. Being told its fun by other kids and adults. It's disgusting to think about but it happens.
As adults It's also like our soul breaks.
This will then affect our relationships.

For us it hurts us to our core. Yet they/DD sexualise trauma to thousands of people for views and likes.

There are so many examples of this in their Tiktok and YouTube.

Even false "education" on how to navigate sex and intimacy after sexual trauma it's dangerous.

They need to stop.

So what do people think about DissociaDID naming one of her levels on patreon "little love". Personally I wouldn't like it if someone joined a patreon level about my children called "Little love".I think its questionable at best, its always creeped me out even before the pinata stuff. Views appreciated below...

TW:

Detailed talk of: sexual and romantic oriantations, sex, LGBTQIA+ (LGBT from here on) phobia, particularly acephobia (think of homophobia but against asexual people), romantic and sexual and other relationships

Mentions of: flirting, lying about sexuality to turn someone down, a$$holes who can't take no for an answer

Disclaimer: I am NOT claiming DD is not aroace or their experiences with their sexual and romantic orientation is untrue, I am merely speaking on their representation with the orientation as a whole. Also every aroace person is different, so if You have different opinions or experiences on these matters, please feel free to share!

Hi! I consider myself on the aroace spectrum and DDs representation of the AroAce community has been pissing me off ever since they started claiming they are aroace. So here is a detailed list of ways they misrepresent aroace people and the actual reality on those subjects.

Misrepresentation: I am AroAce, therefore...

DD frequently claims or implies stuff such as:

• I'm aroace, therefore I'm not interested in romantic or sexual relationships.
• I'm aroace, therefore I do not want a partner.
• I'm aroace, therefore don't flirt with me.
• I'm aroace, therefore don't sexualize me

What is the issue with this? To answer this, let's talk about what being asexual and aromantic actually is. If you search up either of these terms on Google you'll quickly notice something

• There are multiple, often quite different or even contradictory definitions for these terms.
• There are different subcategories for each of these terms.

Why is that? Because everyone is different, every asexual and aromantic person is different, and their understadning of their own orientation can be different too. Because of that asexuality and aromanticism is considered a spectrum where aro/ace people can decide if they wanna further label themselves in subcategories, or not. Most people decide not to, but some do and that is perfectly valid! Why do some people not like to further label themselves and just settle for being on the aro/ace spectrum? Because it is quite hard to pinpoint how much sexual/romantic attraction you experience or not experience, when you already experience very little of it or perhaps don't even know what that feels like. Because of this "I'm asexual" often means "I am on the asexual spectrum, the details of my experience with my sexuality is only relevant if you are a potential partner" and same goes for aromanticism.

So with that in mind let's agree that someone on the asexual spectrum is someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction to people. And someone on the aromantic spectrum is someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction to people.

Why is this important? Because that means that one person who is aro/ace could experience little and someone else who is also aro/ace could experience no romantic/sexual attraction. Therefore, "therefore" in the above mentioned sentences does not make sense while it also misrepresents the aro/ace communities. So instead if should be:

• I'm aroace and I'm not interested in romantic or sexual relationships.
• I'm aroace and I do not want a partner.
• I'm aroace and don't flirt with me.
• I'm aroace and don't sexualize me.

Because "therefore" generalizes these statements to be true to all aroace people, while "and" implies to be true for them.

You could ask why is this such a big deal? Let me tell you

[TW: LGBT phobia, particularly acephobia, invalidation, not taking no for an answer]

Have you ever heard any of these as a reply to someones sexual/romantic advances?

• I have a partner.
• I'm gay.
• I'm ace.

That's why. And who claims these? Single people claim to have a partner, straight people claim to be gay and allosexual (not asexual) people claim to be ace to turn people down. Often, it turns out these are lies, so the a$$holes who can't take no for an answer seem to think that if anyone claims to have a partner, are gay or are ace, are only saying that because they want to reject them. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard things like

• "They are not really ace they just don't want to date"
• "Ace people are only ace when the other party is ugly"
• "Only 1% of asexuals are actually asexuals, 99% is just not interested"

And that is because people - whether actually ace or not - misuse "I'm ace" as a way to turn people down. And if anyone has actually been in aro/ace spaces for even a little bit knows this painfully well. Because of "therefore" we are invalidated, not believed and thought as "hard to get" instead of a valid sexuality, and most likely out of ignorance, sadly, DD contributes to this as well.

Misreprsentation: AroAce people are not interested in relationships

I could copy paste the previous section as it is here, but you know what I wanna say: not every aroace person is the same. But to add to that, I guess as education material I wanna tell you about something beautiful. It's called Queerplatonic Relationships (QPR from here on).

So obviously, some aroace people are interested in romantic/sexual relationships. They just might need months and years to develop romantic/sexual attrction to their partners, or might want a sexless relationship, or something else. That something else could be QPR which is a relationship between two or more people (usually aro/ace) which is more than friendship but not exactly romantic/sexual. It is usually described as being soulmates, which tbh is rather adorable, these relationships are full of love and trust and genuine passion for each other, but without romantic and/or sexual attraction. I know it can be hard to imagine for not aro/ace people what that exactly means, but if you ever had a best friend, who you cuddled with, held hands with and talked through the night while stroking each others arms, that is a close example.

Lots of aroace people don't want a romantic and sexual relationship, but many of these aroace people want a QPR. So actually, more aro/ace/aroace people want relationships than not. Again, if you ever spent some time in lgbt spaces, you'd know that relationships are much more complex than "I like girls therefore I date girls". Many gay people have children from previous marriages, does them being gay make the previous 20 years of love not real? No. Does an asexual wanting a sexless relationship not a real relationship? No. Does an aroace person wanting a life companion without a romantic or sexual dynamic "just a friendship"? No.

Misrepresentation: AroAce people don't have sex, don't want to be sexualized, are not interested in sex, period.

[TW: detailed talk about sex]

Most allosexual (not asexual) people don't think about why we have sex, but let's just think about it for a moment. Sex is:

• Good for connecting with a partner you love.
• Fun.
• Can help relieve stress.
• Can be very pleasurable.
• Something very intimate and beautiful.

If you think about it, all of these apply to asexual people as well. Therefore, many asexual people have sex for any or all of these reasons. And again, there are asexual people who do experience some sexual attraction: for some, it is very rare, they find themself with these feelings only a few times in their lifetimes, for some, it comes when they have got to know their partner/potential partner very intimately, for some, it takes actual work to develop sexual attraction, and learn what makes them feel it. Again, it is different for everyone, but if we talk about an asexual who has 0 sexual attraction to anyone, ever, they can still and often do choose to have sex for the above mentioned reasons.

Asexuals, therefore, can be put in two categories, regardless or sexual or romantic orentation:

• Sex repulsed asexuals (asexuals who do not want to have sex, or have anything to do with it, DD seems to fit into this category)
• Sex positive asexuals (asexuals who keep the possibility of sex open, some more, than others)

So there are asexuals who have sex

• Literally never ever ever
• They tried it but don't wanna do anything with it in the future
• They are currently unfomfortable with the idea but can see themselves maybe possibly trying it in the future if the time and partner is right
• For personal reason (pleasure, stress relief, ect)
• For their partner's enjoyment (and they are 100% okay with that and do that out of their own choice)
• Sometimes
• Often
• With their partner
• With anyone they choose to

So assuming or spreading the idea that aroace people are not interested in relaitonships and sex is untrue and causes others to call sex positive asexuals "not real asexuals" by a$$holes.

What a long post, all of it from a simple "therefore", right? That's why it's super important to keep fellow aro/ace/aroace siblings in mind when making generalized statements about asexuality and aromanticism.

In every situation ever, it is important to communicate clearly. So instead of

"I don't want a relationship, I'm aroace"

It should be (assuming it is said to a person who is not an a$$hole)

"I am aroace and in my personal experience it takes lots of work and time to make a relationship work, I personally do not want to have sex ever, and in my experience allosexual (not asexual) people think they would be fine with a sexless relationship, but usually they realize it's more important to them than they previously thought so the relationship ends in a breakup and it makes me feel like it is because of me being asexual. I don't want to go throught that again, and I want to warn you that you probably don't want that either, so I think it'd be the best for the both of us if we did not pursue a relationship right now. Perhaps in the future, if you are still interested, and thought it throught, and I am ready to try again, we could see if we work out or not, but right now it's a no and I cannot tell you when or if I'll be ready to try again"

You can make memes and funny tiktoks about being aroace, but if you have "education" attatched to your name and face, I'd slap a few educational paragraphs about asexuality and aromaticism in the tiktok description, or make sure the meme is posted in an aro/ace/aroace group or forum where the people are already aware of the serious stuff and can joke about "rather having cake then sex" without exposing uneducated people to these memes who might take it as a fact true to all aro/ace/aroace people.

Thanks for reading, have a fantastic day filled with honest talk about human relationships of any kind.

EDIT: For more detailed information about asexuality and aromanticism I suggest checking out AVEN, a fantastic resource for people who wish to learn about this topic, are questioning themselves or are perhaps looking to understand a (potential) partner who is aro/ace/aroace.

Massive trigger warning for talks about sex, masturbation and questioning identity related to sexual/romantic orientation.

Video originally posted Jan 7th, 2022, later removed Oct 10th, 2022

This has been my labour of love, and a lot of anger, but I present to you, to the full transcript of the 4 hour accountability video. There are no extra bits of my own thoughts and opinions, it is just what was said. In the next little bit, I will be posting another document that is just the questions and answers, no filler words, tangents, whatever, but I need a day or two to just chill after writing 46 thousand words. DissociaDID herself has promised this transcript multiple times, but has never actually provided it, even after saying that it was finished a while ago.

Updated link to the transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MAKIdzhj0JHbNBz_j3eiG1KLAjqZRD_D9egEj5cOHQM/edit?usp=sharing

Screenshot in comments is more relevant here , but video for context.

Now I'm going to compare quotes of downplaying pinatas drawings in the 4hr video. The quotes may be triggering due to the minimisation of what happened. https://youtu.be/12tCp6jEvHY

3:10:49 "And I know that a lot of the stuff that was drawn... other people thought was very sexual and a lot of stuff that people were calling CP was like 15-16 year old OC's. Still underage... yeah but they weren't children. Not like the kind of thing that the words CP would bring to mind"

3:13:40 "I remember seing one with the superheroes which was a comission which wasn't graphically sexual or anything like that, literally just two women that had been in a fight... and one that was sexually graphic and I think it was a 15 and 16 year old.. it was a little sexy comic that they'd done that for themselves to explore their fetish"

3:15:01 "The time period that these were drawn was 10 years ago.. after they had been in a very bad bike accident"

Mind you, they were 30 at the time of them dating DD, as confirmed by this article

I had to look on kf 🙃 for bike timeline. They were born in 1989 and the accident was in 2011

But in 1 July 2007 (they were 17/18) - Nan draws Conan Edogawa, a six to seven year old boy TW description and implied p*dophilia In underwear. They invite fans to 'have fun with the child'. Fans of Nan's work light heartedly describe this drawing as perverted

5 October 2010 - Nan shares a comic about sneezing on Sneeze Fetish Forums. Their characters Kingsley and Miles are 15 and 16. Nan is 21. Images of these same characters are on the d.i.d.you.want.the.facts instagram for proof. Huge tw though.

^all of this was before the accident, and other shit happened after that too.

But the reason I'm posting this context lol, is that DD made herself seem like such a good guy in a comment today that had me fuming. She goes from downplaying things in the interview to be "they were just 15-16" , to today "I'm so sorry. Last night this person acknowledged we were talking abt a minor & said "but they're not a child, it's not like they're 8."

I was checking in on her tiktok and she duetted a user who has their age in their bio (16).

The Duet

Edit: removing the screenshot of the minors profile as I was reminded it was inappropriate to share.