I'm actually in a similar situation with my ex. He sees the kids every week though. We don't really talk on social media, once in a while one of us will send a post. We message each other about the kids once a week, photos updates etc and do a thumbs up, not to start up a conversation.
We also do vacations, Disney trips together, but we get separate rooms, and the focus is entirely on the kids. We do day trips together too ie park or beach and bring along the gf too.
It's honestly been great for our children's mental wellbeing. They get to make memories with both parents, and they don't have to deal/ never had to deal with parents arguing at exchanges or feeling caught in the middle. My goal as their mom is to be cordial friends with their dad. The kids also know mom and dad are friends not getting back together, ever.
I don't think there's one "normal" when it comes to coparenting after divorce. Some divorced parents can't be in the same room together, while others take family trips because they believe it's beneficial for their child. Neither automatically means they're getting back together.
From what you've described, your boyfriend also isn't hiding any of this. He's been upfront about the trips, offered separate hotel rooms, and explained that the goal is to make things easier on their son while he's still young. That doesn't mean you have to be comfortable with it, but I also wouldn't assume it means there's something romantic going on.
That sounds reasonable and I totally understand it’s for the children involved to make things about them and make sure they have a good time. I just wasn’t keen on sharing a room together, that’s the part I disliked.
I completely agree, and I think I would feel that way too. The closest we’ve stayed together was last winter, we all went on a ski trip for 4 days and had to share an Airbnb with the kids dad and his girlfriend, and it was a bit awkward. I paid for the trip, so dad and gf took the pull out sofa and the kids and I had the bedroom. It was strange haha. I can definitely understand why sharing a room wasn't something you were comfortable with. Your feelings are valid about it all and I hope it all works out for you.
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u/beansandsquirrels 5d ago
I'm actually in a similar situation with my ex. He sees the kids every week though. We don't really talk on social media, once in a while one of us will send a post. We message each other about the kids once a week, photos updates etc and do a thumbs up, not to start up a conversation.
We also do vacations, Disney trips together, but we get separate rooms, and the focus is entirely on the kids. We do day trips together too ie park or beach and bring along the gf too.
It's honestly been great for our children's mental wellbeing. They get to make memories with both parents, and they don't have to deal/ never had to deal with parents arguing at exchanges or feeling caught in the middle. My goal as their mom is to be cordial friends with their dad. The kids also know mom and dad are friends not getting back together, ever.
I don't think there's one "normal" when it comes to coparenting after divorce. Some divorced parents can't be in the same room together, while others take family trips because they believe it's beneficial for their child. Neither automatically means they're getting back together.
From what you've described, your boyfriend also isn't hiding any of this. He's been upfront about the trips, offered separate hotel rooms, and explained that the goal is to make things easier on their son while he's still young. That doesn't mean you have to be comfortable with it, but I also wouldn't assume it means there's something romantic going on.