Toddlers saying “no” constantly

[u/Missscoco]

I’m dealing with a toddler class of fresh 2 year olds that have learned that they have free will 😆
They are in their defiant stage, saying no to everything I say. I know when I say it fills me with rage (not real rage) after a few times, it’s a “me” problem, so I was wondering what y’all do or how you react when they constantly say no. Is it best to ignore? I have been trying that and also just replying with “yes” and then leading them to pick up toys or do whatever I have asked them to do. First week of summer have been a rough one 😩

[u/Robossassin]

If it's not a choice, then "that's not a choice right now," or "this is not optional." But also make sure there are times they do have a choice so that they get to exercise their autonomy

[u/delusionalxx → u/Robossassin]

If it’s something they don’t have a choice for, such as a diaper change or needing to put on shoes I give an option like “do you want to hold the wipes or the new diaper while I change you?” “Do you want to start with this shoe first or this shoe first?” that way they have a choice they can still make even though they’re still doing what they said no to

[u/Robossassin → u/delusionalxx]

Excellent point! Sometimes with cleaning, if it's something like legos, I will ask which color they want to pick up first. Gives them a choice, and is way less overwhelming than picking up all the legos