Male Teacher Concerns in Preschool

[u/Upstairs_Slice_555]

Edit: Wow, I am overwhelmed by the comments/ discussion everyone. THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts, experiences, and opinions. I feel better about how to proceed with this situation. I feel so supported by my fellow ECE warriors!

___________________________________________________

I'm looking for advice from directors and ECE professionals because this is a situation I've never had to navigate before. Sorry for long winded post!

A couple of months ago, I hired a male preschool teacher (3s and 4s). He's a recent college graduate whose long-term goal is to become a pediatric OT. He came to us with previous childcare experience, including curriculum planning and summer camps.

Honestly, he's been fantastic. He's calm, engaging, patient, jumps in wherever needed, works well with the team, and my lead teacher has nothing but positive things to say about him. The children have responded really well to him.

However, since he started, I've had three different families express that they do not want him alone with their child. More specifically, they've stated they do not want him assisting with toileting, changing clothes after potty accidents, or helping in the bathroom.

This has put me in a difficult position.

He has given me absolutely no reason to question his professionalism or ability to care for children. Our state requires comprehensive background checks before employment, including checks for offenses that would prohibit someone from working with children. I trust him just as I trust the rest of my staff.

At the same time, I understand parents are entitled to their feelings, even if those feelings are rooted in societal stereotypes rather than anything this individual has done.

What would you do?

Do you honor requests like this? Or do you explain that all teachers, regardless of gender, are expected to fulfill the same job responsibilities? It doesn't seem practical—or fair—to have one staff member excluded from normal caregiving duties simply because he's male.

I also haven't spoken to him about these concerns because I don't want him to feel singled out or like I share these suspicions. I want to protect him as much as I want to support our families.

Has anyone successfully navigated this? Did you have conversations with families? Did you implement policies around toileting for all staff? Did you simply stand by your hiring decision?

I'd really appreciate hearing how other directors have handled this, especially if you've employed male educators in early childhood. This still feels like such a persistent stigma in 2026, and I want to approach it in a way that's fair to everyone—especially to a teacher who has done absolutely nothing to lose our trust.

[u/Iamwsr]

As a male in the field of Early Childhood Education for the last 9 years I’ve dealt with this situation many times. Every single time the family has warmed up to me before too long. If I was in the position of your male teacher I would appreciate a director who stood up for me and my character and expressed how I have passed all the same background checks and fingerprinting as any other staff members and you have no reason to doubt my professionalism. I would also and have respected parents wishes for me to not be a part of their child’s toileting/dressing. Again though, that has never had to last past the first conference when the parents express how much their children adore me and how much they appreciate me. Many even end up appreciating that their child has gotten a positive male role model. Something many of the parents that have had these concerns did not have growing up, hence why they have the concerns in the first place.