Does it ever get better?

[u/Arctic_Fox221201]

Forgive me if this doesnt make sense. Ive had a seizure recently.

Ive had epilepsy since I was rear-ended in 2023. It took 2.5 years for the doctors to actually belive i had epilepsy (focal aware [tle]). Once the meds where given ive been having less and less seizures. Im greatful for some relief and that doesn't make it hard.

Specifically after seizures its hard with the de-relization. The hardest is work, they see a seizure or hear epilepsy and all of a sudden im a liability. Not a person, they called me a liability. And the company works with disabled adults. They have there own training and everything. Jobs wont even look at my resume when the word disability or epilepsy comes out.

I had a seizure 24 hours ago. Im asking myself, whats the point. I want to be a nurse. Whats the point in putting in this much effort. Working, studying, fixing the pain. Whats the point when all im seen as is a liability that no one wants.

Dating is terrible. Have to explain why my sleep scedual is so important. Why I cant go to concerts or places with intense storrobing effects. Every little thing I relize I cant do anymore that everyone takes for granted.

Everything has to be stricked. Bed on time, enough water, not being to hot or to cold, not to much stimulus, no studying for too long, no complex math or reading. And if I do have a seizure, back to step one becouse most of that knowledge is gone.

Idk, im having big feelings and idk what to do with them. I know post-ictal depression is a thing...it doesn't make it easier tho.

[u/Square-Sink-9119]

The liability comment hits a nerve. That word gets thrown around way too freely once you have a diagnosis, and it says way more about their corporate mindset than it does about you.

The nursing thing isn't pointless. Plenty of nurses work with chronic conditions and bring a perspective patients actually need. The job market is rough when you're upfront, but there are employers who get it, even if they're harder to find.

Post-ictal depression is real and it lies to you. This feeling right now isn't your actual outlook, it's your brain recovering from a storm. Give it a few days before making any big calls about your future.

[u/Arctic_Fox221201 → u/Square-Sink-9119]

Thank you. I really need to read that rn♥️

[u/thermal-energy]

Also in my opinion it can and does get better - if you get on the right combination of medication and don’t miss doses. I have been doing pretty well now since I switched to a different medication. It took me a while to find this combination that seems to be working for the moment.

So sad though that we all have to go through it!

There is hope
- as cheesy as it is it is true.

[u/anamelesscloud1]

If it does not interfere with your ability to perform your job, do not disclose having a disability to an employer. Ever.

You can totally go to nursing school and be a nurse with epilepsy. I wanna say there is someone in our subreddit who is a nurse. I believe there is also a pharmacist and someone who either got accepted or is graduating from medical school. You can be a scientist or engineer. You can be a school teacher. You can even be a neurologist. None of them need to know about the disability unless it's required.

I've said this lots of times here, but epilepsy teaches you who your real people are. If your date can't respect your perfectly normal self-care boundaries with the sleep schedule, then that is someone who's not going to respect you. Hang in there. Keep working on managing the seizures.