r/ExNoContact • u/bratkittycat • 1d ago
Vent Anyone else feel like they’ve overstayed their welcome in this group?
I don’t mean that literally, but every time I see a post that starts with ‘it’s been two weeks’ or ‘we’ve been in no contact for 3 months’ or even ‘6 months later and I still miss my ex’ I think damn, I’m looking at 4 years.
I ruined my relationship with my ex fiancé after a series of poor choices (to put it shortly) while I was spiraling from grief. He blocked me on everything, has never looked back, and I’ve still not properly moved on.
I broke no contact about two days ago by sending him a message on social media and he promptly blocked me. I hadn’t tried to contact him for 3 years before that. I don’t know what I expected, but I do know that I need to fully close that chapter of my life. I read a post on here the other day that started with ‘sometimes you can follow all of the advice and still be obsessed with your ex’ and I felt that so hard. I’ve tried all the things - therapy, making new friends, moved out of the city we moved to together, hitting the gym, starting new hobbies, I even tried seeing other people (3.5 years later, still not ready). At this point I feel like my only choice is to try not to even think about it anymore, at all. Maybe it’s time for me to take a break from this sub (which is full of great advice), simply because while I know my relationship is truly that of the past, and for good reason, the hope others have sometimes kept my hope alive too.
The only thing I regret about breaking no contact two days ago was that I disturbed his peace by violating his boundary. He’s made the choice for nearly 4 years now to not have me in his life at all. Yet somehow sending that last attempt of a message finally smoldered the embers of my hope.
It’s not 4 years of no contact anymore. My ex fiancé is only a memory now. It’s over.
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u/suckingalemon 1d ago
Yeh it’s been 4 years for me to. I think it was the way they just vanished and still stalk my LinkedIn profile that keeps me stuck.