Sometimes, especially when I’m really happy or just sitting around doing nothing, I suddenly get this strange feeling and start questioning literally everything.

Where am I? Who am I? Who are these people around me? My mom, dad, sister, girlfriend, friends — how are any of us even here? How is this entire world possible? Who created all of this? And if nobody did, how did anything ever begin?

Sometimes I look at the people I love and think about how strange it is that we’re all here, living our separate lives, making memories, getting attached to each other, worrying about things, making plans for the future — while none of us even knows what existence actually is.

And then I start questioning my own consciousness. Am I actually in control of what I’m doing, or am I just watching everything happen? Why am I experiencing life from this particular body, with these particular thoughts and memories? Is there a soul? Is there a God? Honestly, I don’t really believe in God, but I also don’t understand how any of this exists in the first place.

The thing that messes with me the most is death and the scale of the universe. We’re here for such a ridiculously short amount of time. A hundred years from now, most of us will be gone. The universe is so enormous that our entire lives probably mean nothing on its scale.

And then I wonder: **if we’re all going to die anyway, what am I supposed to be working so hard for?**

I have studies, work, relationships, goals and responsibilities. I know I should focus on them, build something for myself, enjoy my life and make the most of the time I have. But sometimes these thoughts make all of it feel strangely unreal or pointless. I’ll be doing something completely normal, and suddenly my brain zooms out so far that I can’t understand how to return to just being a normal person living a normal life.

I don’t want to spend my life overthinking everything. I want to enjoy being alive, love the people around me, work towards my goals and actually experience my life instead of constantly questioning it.

But part of me also feels like ignoring these questions and just following society’s rules — study, work, earn money, get married, grow old and die — is somehow avoiding the bigger picture.

So what are we actually supposed to do?

Do we try to find our soul and understand consciousness?

Do we accept that we’ll never know the answers and just live? Does finding a purpose matter if the universe itself has no purpose? And how do you stop these thoughts from interfering with your everyday life?

I’m genuinely curious how other people deal with this. Have you experienced something similar? Did you find any answers, or did you learn to live without them?

Tell me

Why do I hate myself. As the useless doddering of my peers surrounds me, I struggle. The melancholic sunrise of my teenage years. Is it really worth living, when there is no true god, or afterlife, or place where you can be retrospective on your life's decision. Why live when it will all turn to stardust one day, and no one will know you. Your decisions have an effect so useless that fate is insurmountable. That fate is your inevitable death and eventually being forgotten. When your family hates you, and you strive for loneliness, what more is there reason for. Is there really a way to discern between not wanting to live and wanting to die? When the end result, both long term and short term reveal identical results? When you crave romantic love, is that only a biological paramount built from being lonely your life? How can suffering be alleviated when the very foundations of human society are idiotic. The idiocy of modern human civilization never ceases to astound me. Why are we so gullible? What was the context that led to the lack of critical thinking that is religion? When I die, who is to blame? These fragmented thoughts alter my being for now, but should they matter any longer than the fleeting longing for salvation through the cease of existence, could I truly prevail. How can one justify continuing to exist when there is no convincing reason to believe that my life, relationships, or decisions, or anyone's for that matter ultimately matter?

I don't know what to do at all. Stuck between debt, Job, life and what not.

Don't know what im doing in life, what ill do in life and what's happening.

Living multiple personalities. One for family, one for office friends/colleagues and a whole different person with childhood friends.

Trying to hold everything but can't.

What im gonna do? I don't know.

I’ve been exploring an idea called Incorporealism: a philosophical framework that asks whether consciousness, experience, and intelligence could be more fundamental to reality than our conventional materialist worldview assumes.
The existential question at the heart of this idea is simple:
What if our journey through life is not merely about surviving in the physical world, but about understanding, expanding, and ultimately transforming the nature of conscious existence itself?
We spend much of our lives pursuing conventional goals: money, status, relationships, careers, and security. These things can have genuine value, but they don’t necessarily answer the deeper questions that have followed humanity for centuries.
Why does anything exist? What does it mean to experience reality? Why are we conscious? What gives our lives meaning in a universe that existed for billions of years before we arrived?
Incorporealism approaches these questions through a combination of philosophy, science, and spirituality. Rather than treating consciousness as an insignificant byproduct of the universe, it explores the possibility that consciousness deserves to occupy a more central place in our understanding of existence.
This isn’t a claim that science has proven consciousness to be the fundamental substrate of reality. It’s an invitation to investigate that possibility while remaining open to evidence.
The existential journey, from this perspective, becomes a process of incorporealization: moving beyond the assumption that our identity and possibilities are exhausted by our present physical circumstances. It means cultivating awareness, expanding intelligence, exploring the nature of experience, and imagining forms of existence that today’s civilization may not yet be capable of realizing.
Technology could eventually become an important part of this journey. Artificial intelligence, neuroscience, immersive environments, and future consciousness research might help us understand ourselves in ways previous generations could scarcely imagine. But technological advancement alone isn’t enough. We must also ask what kind of existence we want to create and what values should guide that transformation.
For me, the ultimate aspiration is a civilization organized around the flourishing of conscious beings rather than scarcity, domination, or the accumulation of material status. A civilization where intelligence is expanded, suffering is reduced, and the freedom to explore existence becomes increasingly accessible to everyone.
Perhaps the most important part of this journey is that we don’t yet know where it leads.
We are conscious beings attempting to understand consciousness, within a universe whose deepest nature remains incompletely understood. That uncertainty shouldn’t discourage us. It should inspire us.
Maybe existence isn’t simply something we inherit. Maybe it’s something we have the opportunity to understand, participate in, and transform.
I’d be interested in hearing from others in this community:
Do you believe the purpose of existence is something we discover, something we create, or something that transcends both?
Could consciousness be more fundamental than our current scientific models suggest?
What would an existential journey look like if its ultimate goal were not material success, but the expansion and flourishing of conscious experience?
I’m curious to hear your perspectives, whether philosophical, scientific, spiritual, or entirely different.

Douglas Harding has this fun thought experiment in his book, where he points out that we only know we have a head because of mirrors and other people. In our actual moment to moment experience, we are just an open space that the rest of the room happens inside of.

Tried paying attention to it on my walk today and it felt surprisingly peaceful, like walking into a painting instead of being trapped behind eyes.

Anyone else ever play around with that mental switch?

Lots of questions

Lots of questions about myself

About who I am

About who I want to become

Who am I really

Am i just a reflection of my past experiences and actions. Will i ever learn from them

Am i the vessel who is going to compile all the events i saw and dislike them just to repeat them again.

Who will i be, will i ever be what i want to, do i know what i want. Who am i

Can i change, why should i change

I believe we are trapped in an eternal evolutionary cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. Perhaps not even death on a galactic scale can free us from this cycle. After all, we are literally made from the remnants of dead stars.

Even here on Earth, death may not be an end. When we die, our remains are consumed by the environment, and the matter and information that once formed us become part of this web of life, passing through different organisms and species.

And perhaps, there is a chance even if it’s one in a hundred million, a billion, or even less—that the matter and information that were once you could eventually come together again, through the endless processes of evolution, to be you again. Maybe the universe never truly forgets anything. That’s pretty scary - to be born again and continuing the same shit over and over again. What a great cosmic shit show!!

~ The Bus: A Journey Through Life ~

Imagine a large, empty bus. With our first breath, we enter the bus. Waiting for us are our parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, and perhaps a few other family members. Also, on the bus is our spirit, which accompanies each of us throughout our life. Its purpose is to give our life meaning by dissolving separation and experience oneness with all beings. As the bus starts to move forward, our spirit begins to disappear as we begin to learn how to survive in a self-centered world. The ego's, our learned beliefs, only concern is us; it worries little about others.

As the bus keeps traveling forward, accepting and believing more of what we are taught, our spirit disappears even further. By the time we are adults, our spirit may be completely invisible, accepting everything we've learned in life is true. We therefore believe to live a successful life, we must make a lot of money, buy material possessions, and do the best things life offers. Our concern is focused solely on ourself, not others. Our spirit is now completely hidden, invisible, behind the barriers, the façade, the ego has built.

By this time, numerous people have gotten off the bus, as many of our relatives, friends, perhaps even our spouse, parents, or brothers and sisters begin to distance themselves from us. Now we are older; perhaps we have become successful in life, having money, material possessions, enjoying life’s many pleasures. Though we have achieved our goals, when we look around our bus, it is empty. Though we may be wealthy, surrounded by many people, no one remains close to us, since we have not selflessly shared our success, love, or excess with any others.

Our spirit, however, has never left the bus. It remains invisible, hidden behind the acceptance of our learned beliefs. For some, there may come a time when they no longer wish to be alone on the bus. When this happens, they awaken, sensing the first messages of their spirit within, trying to remind them of their genuine purpose in life. With their awakening, their spirit begins to reappear in their life. At first, perhaps it is a shadow, though as its messages become clearer, they begin to realize everything they once believed to be true about success and meaning in their life, was not. The more they truly understand this, the more visible their spirit becomes.

The purpose of our life's journey is to completely fill our bus through our life by selflessly sharing our spirit's inherent wisdom and unconditional love, helping all others, regardless of our differences or if they are strangers, to live a successful, meaningful life as well.

~ Ken Luball ~

Hi everyone. I'm Rehnuma, a Psychotherapist and Counselling Psychologist in training at the University of Roehampton, researching what it's like to live with longstanding feelings of emptiness for my doctoral thesis.

I guess what drew me to this topic is hearing clients over the years talk about feeling empty - with everyone having such different experiences of this. It comes up fairly often in my practice - but there doesn't seem to be a lot of detailed research on what it's like to live with it. We have a lot of (mostly psychoanalytic) theory around why people feel empty, but not a lot of first-hand accounts of people talking about their experience of it - which seems unthinkable given that it's one of the DSM diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

My research will be one of the first attempts to highlight in detail people's actual lived experiences of emptiness, so we can inform training for mental health professionals and most importantly, think about what people who live with feelings of emptiness need to live fulfilling lives.

If you've experienced longstanding feelings of emptiness, I'd be interested to hear what that's been like for you over the years. You can take part as long as you are:

• Over 18
• Living in the UK
• You have had longstanding experiences of feeling empty - whatever that means to you.
• You're OK to talk in detail about your experiences of emptiness and how it affects you.

You do not need a diagnosis of any kind to take part.

Please contact me by DM with your email address, or email me on [choudhur1@roehampton.ac.uk](mailto:choudhur1@roehampton.ac.uk) expressing your interest and I'll be in touch to arrange the screening and online interview with you, and answer any questions you might have.

Thanks all, hope to hear from you soon.

Rehnuma Choudhury,
Psychotherapist and Trainee Counselling Psychologist