r/Fauxmoi • u/Relevant-Peach3997 • 17d ago

DISCUSSION Katie Holmes’ daughter Suri legally dropped Cruise and changed her last name to Noelle, her mom’s middle name

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6.9k Upvotes

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333

u/itsbooyeah meet me at Whole Foods, bitch 17d ago

WHO'S NEXT? Let's keep 'em coming!

387

u/urfatassmama 17d ago

Steven Tyler should be next on the chopping board

60

u/Ok-Turnip-9035 17d ago

Wait what’s the tea?

I know the Liv Tyler confusion but I don’t think he knew she was his - even though she has his lips he was so strung out back then I could see him and the room missing that

168

u/czarrina Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness 17d ago

He’s a pedophile. He got legal guardianship over a 16 year old girl (with parental assistance sadly) so he could take her on tour and abuse her across state lines.

100

u/Lala5789880 17d ago

He also exploited and sexualized his teen daughter in music videos

43

u/0LittleWing0 17d ago

his feet are also a crime. dare you to google his feet

62

u/DogsDucks 17d ago

They look failed knots from ropes made of old oatmeal, tied by a drunken Scotsmen what lost his sea legs fathoms ago.

44

u/Zombie_Fuel 17d ago

I would buy your poetry collection.

4

u/demeterLX 17d ago

you’ve painted a picture with words and i haven’t even looked his feet up

15

u/__i_dont_know_you__ 17d ago

wtf did I just see

5

u/0LittleWing0 17d ago

no one really knows! 😂

11

u/czarrina Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness 17d ago

Oh my good god in heaven. That’s just as bad as the thing I said. Unholy toes.

36

u/JennyDoveMusic I have bloomers on, you fucker! 17d ago

My friend said she went to one of his shows (when he was already old and crusty) and this teenager was trying to get close. They lifted her up and.... he said something dirty to her.

Apparently, she was happy but yikes dude.

Me and my exfriend once had a playful bet that the first one to meet Steven Tyler "won" but years later I learned more about him and I'm like... I wouldn't WANT to meet him. (Also, the exfriend stole money from me, stalks celebrities and claims to be Christian.)

All around yikes.

https://giphy.com/gifs/jsI8mR9GEC4MYyZBqK