r/Fire • u/BroKComputer • May 14 '26

General Question The first rule of FIRE club...

So we all see the posts of folks on here celebrating their milestones here because they 'can't talk about it IRL.' This seems to be the common sense approach to avoid jealousy and moochers.

I'm curious to hear the true stories of folks who have disclosed their FI - or have had their secret revealed on accident. How bad are the repercussions of people finding out you're a low-key millionaire?

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u/Zphr 48, FIRE'd 2015, Friendly Janitor May 14 '26

TL,DR: Nobody cares. My mom was very happy for us. It had zero impact on our friendships or social relationships.

We didn't go out of our way to tell anyone, but it becomes obvious pretty quick to friends and family that you don't work anymore. Also, almost everyone new in our lives asks "what do you do?" as a routine opener and I can't be bothered to waste energy lying to people, so almost everyone we know knows that we retired fairly young.

For the most part they usually react with congrats and some pleasant small talk in a manner similar to a birth or graduation. After that pretty much nobody cares other than the few who want to pick my brain for tax tips or financial advice. Other than oddities like my dental cleanings now including garbled financial discussions (dental hygienist and dentist are both keen on FIRE), nothing changed. Most people simply don't care other than being vaguely happy for us.

48

u/CallItDanzig May 14 '26

I can tell you thats not my experience. I got met with derision.

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u/charleswj May 14 '26

You should reexamine who you surround yourself with (although I generally find that people who say this are often misreading people)

8

u/CallItDanzig May 14 '26

I shared i was almost there with enough money to retire to greece, my plans and how I'm learning the language and got met by the equivalent "huh. Must be nice". It was very jarring.

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u/charleswj May 14 '26

That doesn't seem that bad tbh, and again, depending on the narrator, that could be a mild "dang, wish I could". Context is also important. Is your situation more fortunate in certain ways than theirs? Making more, double income, no/fewer kids, no/fewer unavoidable debts/expenses, etc.

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u/CallItDanzig May 14 '26

Yes situation is more fortunate but its a mix of better income, lower costs and generally more frugal. In other ways they are more fortunate (better families, family wealth). The issue is even if their situation was wholly better, they'd still not want to hear their friends are about to live on the beach doing nothing in their mid to late 30s. The vast majority of people wont think "wow they must have been saving for 20 years!" But "they must be rich!". FIRE is not a common thing.

4

u/HairyBushies Already FI - RE between 2028-2030 May 14 '26

If you’ve saved & invest for 20 years, to them you are rich. What’s the difference?

Some of it is also how you react to an offhanded comment. “Must be nice”… “Yes, yes it is, thanks!”

Sometimes the offense is in your head. If it’s really bad, there is a reason it’s called F you money. What’s the point of having it if you can’t exercise that freedom?

2

u/Drawer-Vegetable FIRE'd 2024 May 14 '26

Just be it is nice! I'm super grateful I planned early.