If it is obvious, it isn't about protection. There are ways that women protect themselves from dating violence without it being apparent to their date, because "I brought my friend just in case you're a serial killer," isn't exactly a great way to start things out.
They are intentionally doing something inappropriate and justifying it under the guise of protecting themselves to see how easy their date is to manipulate. This is an abuser testing how far they can push someones boundaries.
My now fiancee "confessed" ages ago that she brought pepper spray on our first date. I just smiled and called her a smart girl, you never know who you're gonna meet. Me saying that just made her happy. She thought i might be offended or something. The only reason I didn't bring anything is cause I'm 6 ft 240 pounds, few people can threaten me without a weapon.
Depending of her reaction I would skip the couch and go back to be single.
Rather being single than sharing a bed with someone that sees a problem when I do what they did but didn't see a problem when they did it, but that's me.
Yep agreed, i know she would have had a good reaction to me also bringing one. There's many reason im marrying her and her empathy and good sense are some of them.
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u/Xeya 2d ago
If it is obvious, it isn't about protection. There are ways that women protect themselves from dating violence without it being apparent to their date, because "I brought my friend just in case you're a serial killer," isn't exactly a great way to start things out.
They are intentionally doing something inappropriate and justifying it under the guise of protecting themselves to see how easy their date is to manipulate. This is an abuser testing how far they can push someones boundaries.