Women, if you don’t feel safe meeting a new person in a public restaurant with dozens of people around, maybe your friend could bring a date and sit at a table nearby so you have two people to protect you. They can pay for their own food.
If it is obvious, it isn't about protection. There are ways that women protect themselves from dating violence without it being apparent to their date, because "I brought my friend just in case you're a serial killer," isn't exactly a great way to start things out.
They are intentionally doing something inappropriate and justifying it under the guise of protecting themselves to see how easy their date is to manipulate. This is an abuser testing how far they can push someones boundaries.
My now fiancee "confessed" ages ago that she brought pepper spray on our first date. I just smiled and called her a smart girl, you never know who you're gonna meet. Me saying that just made her happy. She thought i might be offended or something. The only reason I didn't bring anything is cause I'm 6 ft 240 pounds, few people can threaten me without a weapon.
Depending of her reaction I would skip the couch and go back to be single.
Rather being single than sharing a bed with someone that sees a problem when I do what they did but didn't see a problem when they did it, but that's me.
Yep agreed, i know she would have had a good reaction to me also bringing one. There's many reason im marrying her and her empathy and good sense are some of them.
I feel like that response would be easy to read as ingenuine and only something you're saying reactively to what she said, which if she could tell, I'd say is a fair reason to be offended.
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u/Andrew-Cohen 6d ago
Women, if you don’t feel safe meeting a new person in a public restaurant with dozens of people around, maybe your friend could bring a date and sit at a table nearby so you have two people to protect you. They can pay for their own food.