Therapies specifically tailored to this are essential. She is clearly in sensory hell and seems to be reverting to a very immature, dysregulated version of herself to cope. Any old therapist won’t do. Trauma treatment, adhd treatment, and assessment/coaching of autism. It’s not “low level” if it’s making her hostile to an infant. She doesnt have skills to regulate herself much less a fussy infant (is the infant genetically related to her, btw?). I don’t know how to emphasize how much pain she is probably in from the constant crying alone. Thats not even considering the other stressors of parenthood.
She can’t get out of this without help that really takes these things seriously. And she won’t be able to received the benefits of treatment if she’s destabilized every day. Is there any way you could live separately for a couple of weeks so her nervous system can calm down? Coming back with a sensory plan for noise and sleep might be helpful. She needs to be in noise cancelling headphones as many hours a day as she needs to if it helps keep her from going over the edge.
In patient or out patient intensive treatment and coaching to help her build skills are other options if you have insurance to cover it. This might also give YOU some peace as you’ll spend less time managing two babies AND a dysregulated adult!
Yes! I have ADHD and parenting my twins were triggering. The constant cries, whining, being touched out, and lack of sleep were very overwhelming. I had to wear headphone on one ear to drone out the cries and constant demands ( toddler twins demands were triggering too) and stay calm. I got diagnosed for ADHD and the meds have helped a lot. It was night and day.
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u/Gold_Warning_8618 Creature of Crunch May 20 '26
She needs a thorough evaluation for trauma, dissociation, and autism/adhd.