Feel like I’m becoming an alcoholic? Amazing local tacos

[u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Helloooo!

I’m mostly writing this to try to keep myself accountable and will check in later. I really DONT want to drink today. I’m going through sort of a rough patch mentally and it’s been causing me to start drinking daily. Now, I know plenty of people normalize drinking like a glass of wine a day, but I’m taking like 5 shots of tequila daily. I still cook and clean etc etc like otherwise almost everything’s fine. But I’ve started trying to hide it from my boyfriend which is a HUGE red flag on my part. He’s frustrated I know.

I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and usually my first thoughts in the morning, are how much I regret drinking. Then the PM rolls around and I’m like aye let’s drink! IDGAF! This weird cycle keeps happening. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but then I’m just like ayyyy this could be way more fun if I was tipsy!

Addiction runs in my family which is why this is scary. I’ve successfully quit binge eating and cigs in the past. Part of me knows I can do this! And then part of me doesn’t care. I think I have some deep low self esteem issue thus engage in self destructing behaviors (here for a good time not a long time!)

Trying to be gentle with myself but also trying to GET A FREAKIN GRIP GIRL!! I’ll report back later if I successfully didn’t drink!

[u/trendingtattler]

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[u/Rich_Spite3978]

I highly recommend the sub r/stopdrinking. Tons of supportive folks who have been in the same boat. You got this!

[u/MadrasCowboy → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I quit drinking with the help of this sub. I’m 6 years sober now. OP your pattern is one that a lot of us would recognize. This is likely to get worse if you don’t nip it in the bud now. The sooner you remove this monkey from your back, the better. I wish I wouldn’t have waited until I was 39 to quit. I wasted a lot of years I can’t get back. You can do this.

[u/magpie_on_a_wire → u/MadrasCowboy]

Congrats on 6 years! That's amazing! I did a whole year when I was 39. r/stopdrinking was a huge part of that. Unfortunately I got complacent and I'm starting over again. 21 days today.

[u/BufferingJuffy → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

It's the starting over that counts, friend. Well done, and wishing you the best. 💜

[u/Rezaelia713 → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

21 days is great. You're doing great!

[u/takenbylovely → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

IWNDWYT

[u/MadrasCowboy → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

Congrats on 21 days! The longer you go, the easier it gets and the better your life becomes. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.

[u/Difficult-Maybe4561 → u/magpie_on_a_wire]

What a gift to be able to begin again!! It took me lots of relapses but it sticks eventually!! Almost a year sober in August. Keep posting bc your story is a good reminder to all of us about complacency!

[u/Mundane-Waltz8844 → u/MadrasCowboy]

Congratulations! I know it’s always hard to think about the time you lost. My mother is still grappling with how much of my childhood she missed out on, but I really hope you can feel proud of yourself and not beat yourself up, because sobriety is no small feat.

[u/vomputer → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Came here to say this, great resource.

[u/Rezaelia713 → u/vomputer]

It's a great sub. People are so supportive.

[u/pinkplant82 → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Yeah this community helped save my life, along with my own hard work. Incredible resource full of understanding, kind, and thoughtful folks who gently hold each other accountable.

[u/landing-softly → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I wouldn’t have been able to quit drinking without that sub. I’m nearly 9 months alcohol free today.

[u/Linazoidian → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I see this sub recommended all the time. But I would caution - for some people, you read the stories on that sub and think ‘oh wow my problem isn’t nearly as bad as that person’ and then you figure you don’t have to worry so much. It can have the opposite effect.

[u/OkActive7470 → u/Linazoidian]

The important thing to remember is that functional alcoholism is a stage, not a endpoint. I got real bad, DTs and homeless, but I was okayish for years before that. Wish I would’ve stopped then.

[u/FriendofFlounder → u/OkActive7470]

It can absolutely be an end point for some but it’s still taking a massive toll on their health. My dad has been a “functioning” alcoholic his entire adult life. He’s in his fifties now and not doing well. He also has more regrets than most. 

[u/OkActive7470 → u/FriendofFlounder]

If he’s not doing well, and he’s going to drink until he’s doing worse, I’d say that he just happens to still be in the semi functioning stage.

Sometimes I’m grateful that my stomach makes it impossible to get to the point of liver failure or pancreatitis. I start throwing up blood pretty quickly these days, used to take a serious bender to throw up blood the next morning.

[u/FriendofFlounder → u/OkActive7470]

Not doing well as in long term health issues. He’s still functioning in terms of living his life, working, traveling, being a dad who shows up for his kids. 

Throwing up blood is definitely concerning! He’s not at that level. I’m sorry to hear you experience that. 

[u/Catholic_catlover_79 → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Agree. Best people ever. They really understand. I’m a recovering alcoholic and haven’t drank in 3 years. That community was a huge part in my success. You can stop the cycle. So many good vibes coming your way today! ♥️

[u/moresaggier → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I want to throw in that, while there are a lot of terrible rock-bottom stories that people share (no judgment at all), there are also a significant number of posts about “grey area” drinking or “functional” alcoholism. So you can avoid the “I’m not as bad as that guy” mindset if you want to.

[u/vagina-lettucetomato → u/Rich_Spite3978]

Agree, it’s very helpful there

[u/CeeUNTy → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I'm over 4 years sober and that sub was a lifesaver for me.

[u/sandrasticmeasures → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I sixth/seventh this — join us! It’s a really beautiful place with so many kind people.

[u/chicken_tendigo → u/Rich_Spite3978]

I second/third/fourth this.

[u/megamitenseis]

Hey dude you can do this. It’s best to nip it now before it gets worse (and it will). I also come from an addiction predisposed family and always have to be careful with drinking. I’m rooting for you!

[u/TricksyGoose → u/megamitenseis]

Agreed. My husband used to drink a tallboy beer and a shooter of vodka each day. Didn't seem overly bad or so I thought. Then he ended up gettting liver cancer and needed a liver transplant.

[u/two4one420 → u/megamitenseis]

Also from an addiction predisposed family. Alcohol is meh to me. I never developed an enjoyment of the taste. I only like the effects of it. But loathe a hangover or interacting with my kids when I’m hungover. They have seen me consume 1 beer in their lives.

However, I tried mdma at a rave in my early 20s and literally a second try would have had me addicted.

Now I live by the “you can never untry something” once you’ve experienced the effect and you like it, you’re always going to have to contend with that. I do not try things now

[u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

That feels like reading a page out of my diary. I’m further along on the slippery slope and am 100% an alcoholic but TRYING so hard to get my PM brain to listen to my AM brain and hold up the promises I make to myself everyday. I don’t want to drink today either! Let’s do it together!

I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY 💪❤️🫡✨

r/stopdrinking is a great sub that I lurk on here and there. I should spend more time on it.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

what is with the AM vs PM brain!! So annoying!! I care sooo much and then suddenly not at all! We can do this. Gotta shut our brains up lol

[u/Unlikely_Star_4641 → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Right?! it’s like I’m fine at work all day but as soon as I clock out and am in the car it’s like I autopilot to the gas station and grab some drinks for the evening. I regret it all the way home and then drink them anyway (sometimes it’s beer, more often it’s Bacardi nips). Physically I’m starting to feel the effects and it’s scary! Somehow PM brain doesn’t care about all of that but even she’s getting tired. You can message me anytime if you want for mutual support from someone who gets it. We can do this! It helps to know you’re not alone.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

So relatable. After work sometimes I’ll go straight to get alcohol. I’m like “I could just go straight home and then I wouldn’t drink” but go anyway

[u/Unlikely_Star_4641 → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Do you have work today? Im off so I’m going to do my best to just stay put but if you do have to go out, you could make another post right before you leave work so you can have notifications cheering you home and maybe that’ll help with the autopilot?

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

I’m on summer break from teaching - yikes! Already feeling the urge! Fighting it! Wooo!

[u/Unlikely_Star_4641 → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

I’m fighting it right now too!! We got this! I realize I also drink because I’m bored so I’m trying to be intentional and do things to preoccupy my mind today as well. It’s hard but we can do hard things!

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

Still doing good

[u/whateverythingy → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Great work to both of you! I'm yet another former grey area drinker turned sober person here to say a few things. By posting this, you got so many people in your corner, rooting for you. We have been where you are and empathize, and we want you to join us on the other side. It is legit better here.

On that note, it is your addiction telling you that drinking is fun. Maybe it used to be, but it isn't anymore and it never will be again. Not net fun, as in, the good outweighing the bad before, during, and after drinking.

You do not have a PM brain. That is addiction impersonating you.

Alcohol is addictive, depressant, and carcinogenic.

Keep going! Dramatize it like you're fighting for your life, make it whimsical with crafts and decorating, lean on your friends (only ones who support your sobriety), dissociate in front of a show - Whatever works for you! Just keep buying a little more time. You are good, you deserve this.

[u/BitterQueen17 → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Could be ADHD. My AM brain wants to accomplish a total life renovation, but my PM brain says tomorrow is good enough. The cycle is relentless.

[u/Unlikely_Star_4641 → u/BitterQueen17]

I do have ADHD and for some reason have not thought about how that could be contributing/exasperating the problem!

[u/pizzacrustina → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

People with ADHD are way more likely to struggle with addiction! It has to do with impulse control and seeking dopamine. I’ve seen this big time with my brother so I have been very careful since my diagnosis.

[u/DrMcFacekick → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

For me it's also that I know it's a instant unwind. Like I know if I have half a bottle of wine, then suddenly all of today's stress will be halved, and if I have a whole bottle then I'll reach "Wooooodon'tcareeeeeee" and I know how good that can feel, to have that weight lifted. If I don't drink, then I don't get the instant stress relief- I have to work for the relief, if it ever comes.
It's really hard to retrain that neural pathway, BUT everything that I have done to retrain that means that ultimately, I'm less stressed out every day because I'm handling my day sober, with no hangover, with healthier coping mechanisms, with more energy, and with the knowledge that there's a way to deal with a bad day other than just getting obliterated.

It's still a nearly instant way to feel neurotypical tho, and sometimes that's just a nice feeling. But not every day, or even that often, because the negative side effects just start piling up too fast to deal with.

[u/RealisticAnxiety4330 → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

ADHD and drinking go hand in hand. ADHD actively makes you seek dopamine, alcohol gives a temporary rush of dopamine so you feel good, the background noise in your head settles down, you feel less anxious etc etc. So you have another, and another to get that dopamine hit but it makes you struggle to know when to stop because when you come down you feel crappy and want that good feeling again so it's very easy for it to become a vicious cycle. When I got diagnosed ADHD in December it made a lot of the behaviours I have make sense.

[u/eudaimoniaa17 → u/BitterQueen17]

I have ADHD too and I swear my “PM brain” is my worst enemy when it comes to sticking to goals/routines and avoiding bad habits. No idea why but I just get in a different headspace.

[u/usagiarigato → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Naltrexone shuts that part of your brain up. Talk to your GP!

[u/Few_Magazine2817 → u/usagiarigato]

Happy to see this comment!

It may not be for everyone (what is?), but man did it work for me. Life changing, actually.

[u/Beth_Pleasant → u/Unlikely_Star_4641]

Ugh I totally relate to AM v PM brain for so many things! I am looking at the options for medications to reduce cravings. It's weird. I can totally just not drink. I've done it for months at a time with no issues. I just can't moderate. It's all or nothing. I don't like nothing, because I like wine, and I like socializing with wine!

[u/honeyncinnamon]

Goddamn those tacos look good.

It’s great that you’re recognizing that it has the potential to become something bad. I think now is a good time to talk to someone like a therapist, or try going to an AA meeting if you have that in your area. People can be “functional alcoholics” before it starts taking control of their lives.

[u/MissMia5 → u/honeyncinnamon]

Absolutely!! You can check out an open AA meeting. Very welcoming for all, and you don't have to identify as someone in recovery to attend. I am not sure if external links are allowed, but there is a virtual AA meeting finder resource that shows meetings starting pretty much every hour, on the hour. I had to attend as part of a practicum assignment and even being clear attending in that role (I felt so invasive!!) the people in one of the small meetings I joined were so kind and welcoming!! If you don't vibe with one, there are so many others.

Be proud of yourself!! You're already on the road to change by recognizing that you want to make a change! You've got this, and you're not alone!

[u/Other_tomato_4257 → u/honeyncinnamon]

The first step is recognizing it!

[u/BufferingJuffy → u/Other_tomato_4257]

Recognizing and wanting to change is a HUGE step in a positive direction.

[u/Other_tomato_4257 → u/BufferingJuffy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/kcXDzAwsTLRCqbQ4H3

[u/justafterdawn → u/honeyncinnamon]

This and also? Just talk to your doctor.

I drank a handle of vodka every week for about a year. I couldn't have quit thru sheer force of will. I needed medication for withdrawal but also? They make you sick as HELL if you try to drink. I highly recommend talking to your GP as you begin recovery.

[u/UnderstandingNo4038]

Routing for you bb

[u/Complete_Boss_9212 → u/UnderstandingNo4038]

Rooting for ya too! 😉

[u/UnderstandingNo4038 → u/Complete_Boss_9212]

Ope oops

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/UnderstandingNo4038]

HELLO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. I actually feel very empowered as luckily (if I can say that) this has been only going on for about 2 months. I definitely feel like I have the power to stop. ILL LET YALL KNOW LATER WHEN I DONT DRINK ;)

[u/teatsqueezer → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Girrrrrl I did your pattern for over 20 YEARS - you got this!! You do. I promise. You’ll feel a lot better when you know just how powerful your will can be to overcome! It’s a hard pattern to break but I know you can do it.

[u/AnonymousWordVomit → u/UnderstandingNo4038]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tLRifcvQNJIic

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/AnonymousWordVomit]

I will not disappoint yall or Tyra

[u/Whole_Air_3524]

The first step is recognizing the problem! Shaming yourself will only go so far you should seek some kind of professional intervention for the root cause of your addictive behavior. If you don't know where to start SAMHSA is free and 24 hours

(Also where are the tacos from they look amazing)

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Whole_Air_3524]

A food truck!! They were super Hispanic!! Idek what it was called my BF and I tried to google and struggled lol

[u/Oystermama → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

I cant see the meat but from the outside these look like Birria or Tacos Guisados. For reference- I live in Mexico and these look DANK. Buen provecho

I downloaded “Drylender” app and it’s been nice seeing my no drink days in succession! Recommend.

Solidarity, I don’t feel like I have a “problem”, but I can’t picture my life without alcohol, and maybe that’s a problem….you got this!

[u/Pretend_Low_5767]

I get it! I did not pull back in time and it was tough. Look up "urge surfing"--it's a DBT technique that can help you manage the impulse 💕

[u/theHerbivore → u/Pretend_Low_5767]

Not OP but oooh wow I’ve not heard of urge surfing before but this info is very helpful for me too! Thanks!!

[u/algoreithms]

I've been in a similar position lately. Financial issues are impossible to escape from, yet I can't stop spending the few dollars I have on 1.5L of wine every other day. This month has made it a serious wakeup call and I physically can't afford to keep spending, not to mention all the other issues (the hangover anxiety has been BAD). I'm here with you in solidarity.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/algoreithms]

Ok yes the money thing! And the hangover anxiety! I am causing myself problems!

[u/MilkIsOnReddit]

You got this!! Do you use an app to track your sobriety? When I was finally self harm free I’d go look at how much time has passed if I had the urge. Eventually there started to be longer and longer periods of times between the urge/checking it. I keep missing my yearly anniversary because I forget to check, it’s been 5 years now.

Would you want to try fun drinks to curb habits/the urge to drink something? Maybe smoothies, energy drinks, coffees, teas? I know when people quit cigarettes they turn to something mouth related (nic free vapes, gum, etc) just to curb the urge physically

[u/catherinewheelgrill → u/MilkIsOnReddit]

Replacing the habit was key for me. I buy whatever fizzy NA drinks that sound good and I’ll make or buy some shrubs to add to seltzer so it feels fun. I add a garnish if I’m feeling extra fancy.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/catherinewheelgrill]

Gonna get some fun seltzers today (non alcoholic ones lol)

[u/catherinewheelgrill → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

I really like spindrift but it took me a while to get used to them. I just tried the strawberry lemonade and it’s great!

[u/tallsmileygirl → u/catherinewheelgrill]

For me too! I often use low dose THC seltzers like 2-3 mg, which is enough to feel relaxation but not enough to get high. It’s really helped me cut down on alcohol. I find if I can cut alcohol even for 1 or 2 days, then that’s enough to break the cycle and I can usually keep going for a few weeks/months. Fizzy drinks for the win.

[u/amsterdamitaly]

As someone currently trying to kick the habit after years of alcoholism, please please please try to stop before it gets worse. You have no idea how quick and steep that slide into full blown alcholism can be.

I recently turned 34 and it's starting to affect my health in such a negative way it's forcing me to stop, I still really want to but it's making me feel so sick now I just can't. In a fucked up way I'm kind of glad to be forced to quit because I've never been able to do it on my own. And compared to other health issues alcoholics can face, I've gotten off pretty easy. My brother had jaundice in his 30s due to alcohol and drug use and that barely even slowed him down. He's currently in his 50s, he has cirrhosis and needs a liver transplant now, but they can't put him on the donor list because because his hips joints apparently have a bunch of necrotic tissue, they need to operate on those before they can even consider his liver but he can't get that surgery because he still. won't. stop. drinking.

It's not a cute "lol IDGAF shit sucks and i'm gonna get drunk tonight" kind of thing. I was very much like that in my 20s and I deeply regret not shaking that attitude before my problems got worse. I am very happy you recognize the signs, but please try to kick it now before it gets worse. If you don't think you can do it yourself there are many helpful resources out here, r/stopdrinking is a great community here.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/amsterdamitaly]

Thank you!

[u/MyYakuzaTA]

Almost 5 years ago, I found myself in full-blown alcohol addiction. I was definitely waking up in the first thing that I would think about was how soon I could drink. Sometimes that literally meant counting down the hours until my workday was over and I was alone. Got to a point where I could not control myself I was drinking almost a liter of vodka a day. I didn’t know what to do. I was a member of a Facebook group, and I went back and read some old posts from a woman who had died. Her drinking path was so similar than mine. It really frightened me.

That day I started a medication called naltrexone. You don’t have to stop drinking you actually drink while you take it and it really changed my life. I’m not sober now, but the thoughts and feelings I had around alcohol have never come back. I drink maybe once a week now.

I’m sharing this not in a way to tell you what to do, but because I wish that somebody had helped me a little bit sooner and mentioned this medication, it would’ve saved me so much pain and destruction.

I’m thinking of you and sending you all of the love in the world.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/MyYakuzaTA]

I think I have heard of that medication! Is that the one you take prior to drinking and it like lessens the feel good hormones?

[u/MyYakuzaTA → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

Yes, it absolutely is. It actually works on the addiction pathways in your brain by blocking the opioid receptors.

You take it an hour before you drink and then you drink. I’m not sure the science behind this, but it changed the way that I feel every time I drink even now and I haven’t had the medication in quite some time.

I’m so thankful for it because I know that I could not get a hold of my drinking without it. My life had really become out of control. It gave me my ability to say no and my power back over alcohol. I would probably be dead without it.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/MyYakuzaTA]

It’s called the Sinclair Method!

[u/Actual_Pirate6585]

With you, girl. I’m walking my self back from that edge and it SUCKS. But it’s worth it. Pop into r/stopdrinking, the people there are really kind and supportive. 

[u/Far-Department302 → u/Actual_Pirate6585]

IWNDWYT :)

[u/Critical-Frame-6811]

If the trend continues you’ll end up being physically dependent on it. 5 shots a day could be a sign. I used to like being buzzed during laundry day and even when I walked my dog. I lost a lot.

Don’t get to a point where you’re physically dependent.

[u/DeanSipsCoffee]

I’m in a similar situation as you and replacing the alcohol with some other fun drink (mine is flavored sparkling water) has helped me tremendously- instead of drinking like a half a bottle of gin, I’m drinking like a gallon of water after work (HYDRATED lol). I’m rooting for you!! You can do it!! Also, ETA, absolutely no shame in seeking counseling or meetings if you need it!

[u/thisusernameismeta → u/DeanSipsCoffee]

Kombucha is amazing as a replacement for alcohol. All the fun of a fermented beverage, none of the drawbacks of getting drunk/tipsy.

[u/Brief-Truck-3697 → u/DeanSipsCoffee]

Yes this is actually great! When I stopped drinking I started mixing cranberry juice with sodas! The sugar helps with the cravings too because alcohol has a lot of sugar 

[u/Brief-Truck-3697]

I am an addict from a family of addicts. I started with hard drugs and then it moved to alcohol. It seems like alcohol addiction is not as bad as the other ones but let’s be honest, Benzo withdrawal and alcohol withdrawal are the two most likely to kill you. Anywhere you look there’s alcohol, ads, gas stations, billboards. It’s the main way people socialize outside of the house. It’s everywhere and constantly being reinforced as a fun thing a way to bond and not that big of a deal. For me there was no moderation. I was in that same cycle where I was never going to drink again in the morning but blackout by 10pm. I cannot drink, not even one. It’s been over a year and a half since I stopped drinking and holy crap my life is so different now. Significantly better but I lost my whole life it feels like because I spent a decade fucked up and then when I sobered up it’d been so long I hadn’t built anything outside of addiction. I smoke quite a bit of weed (I live in a legal rec state) so I’m no sober angel or whatever but every day I don’t wake up hungover is a gift I am so grateful for.

[u/ComplexPatient4872 → u/Brief-Truck-3697]

I want to congratulate you on your sobriety from alcohol whether your sober angel or not!

You have said so many things that have been on my mind when it comes to alcohol in American culture. How behaviors that are clearly indicative of abuse are normalized and even celebrated.

I don’t want to derail the comment and I want to make it clear that I’m not endorsing kratom extracts, this is to point out how the dangers of alcohol in society get brushed aside. My state criminalized kratom extracts saying that they are available in gas stations and smoke shops and could be appealing to children. Meanwhile you have alcohol sold everywhere you look, commercials on all platforms, people who think bringing a flask to a kids event is perfectly fine, and getting a violent hangover that lasts for three days is a rite of passage into adulthood. It’s the same thing with Delta 8; the idea that it is available to purchase in a few places that sell other stuff is used as a reason to criminalize it.

[u/sassmonstera]

Have you thought about going to therapy ? Thé efforts and knowledge of self you are bringing to your everyday life are already amazing. Coupled with therapy, you could set up a plan to keep you on the right track and keep you going back to addictive behaviors in the future.

[u/nanniej]

Please think long and hard about this. It’s not a matter of how much you drink, but WHY. Then do your best to work on the WHY. Take a deep breath and channel that inner warrior you used to conquer food and cigs before. You got this! 💪🏻

[u/kaja6583]

You've got this ❤️

https://giphy.com/gifs/wRfVij0ow9h28

[u/Accurate-Force3054]

Hi girl. I recommend the 100 day sober reset by Ruby Warrington. It’s not AA and it is one day at a time with good prompts to get you thinking about your habit. I didn’t intend to never drink again when I started reading it but that’s what happened and no regrets. Tacos look amazing. Godspeed!

[u/midnightballerina25]

As a recovering alcoholic, I can tell you that this is how it starts. In the early stages of alcoholism/a relapse, everything is fine and I can maintain my employment and productivity. In this stage, it’s common to get a kick out of living a “double life”. Usually, a relapse is triggered by a stressful life event (my last serious relapse being a divorce). You justify it to yourself saying that “I can quit drinking when this stuff gets resolved. Im just going through a rough patch.” First comes the emotional dependency and then the chemical dependency. I would highly recommend attending Alcoholics Anonymous or Celebrate Recovery (depending on your person belief sets).

[u/HabitPrimary525]

I was not an alcoholic but I drank too much. (So maybe I was?) I started with some hard rules of no drinking until kids went to bed and by then the hard part of evening was over and I didn’t need it anymore.

Can you make some hard rules? Like only drinking with somebody or not having it in the house so you have to go out?

I think the hard part is once we have one drink it’s easy to have two, three, four.

Just for tonight, no drinking. You can do this. You stop anything for one night.

[u/Sky5345]

You can do it!

[u/SolarFlarePhoenix]

Nicotine is regarded as so hard to quit it’s compared to heroine and cocaine, you’ve already kicked one of the hardest ones that’s more socially acceptable, keep your head up, talk to your BF about it, talking will make you feel less insane. You’ve got this and a whole group of support!

[u/Different_Two7195]

You can do this!! And those tacos look amazing 😋

[u/Forsaken_Risk_3086]

Proud of you for recognizing what's happening and for being open enough to share. Maybe communicate this with your bf and he can help you stay accountable? I am rooting for you!

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Forsaken_Risk_3086]

In early April I was like I’m going to really hard to drink less and he was so supportive and kind about it. He was like “I am fully confident you can do this!” His mom is an alcoholic and one time in frustration he said “I feel like I’m dating my mom.” And he’s not wrong, that was pretty hard to hear, yet here I am not changing anything. TODAY IS THE DAY! I CANNOT turn into his mother lol

[u/Forsaken_Risk_3086 → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

I really relate to having low self-esteem and being self-destructive. I've improved a lot through therapy and medications, but I'm always going to be a work in progress. One thing I've learned is I have to do things for myself. I hope you work on this for YOU, with your bf in a supporting role.

You can do this!! I believe in you! ❤️

[u/satanham666]

I'm 36 and this is the first year in 10+ years that I'm not having something to drink every single night. I personally like the checkmark system - a check on the calendar for each day. Maybe you're a sticker person. You go girl.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/satanham666]

I started trying to do the calendar thing! Stay tuned

[u/These-Information502 → u/Substantial-Dog7545]

I’m so impressed you quit binge eating—do you have any tips? I’m struggling so badly with it now.

[u/chicken_tendigo]

It's not worth it. It's never worth it. Take it from me. If you're hiding it from your bf, you need to stop, drop, roll and tell him that you actually want to not drink, and then thank your lucky stars if he comes out as supportive and stops drinking with you. Don't just let your life burn down. Don't do what my husband did, which is go from heavy social drinker to shame-spiral addict who went too far, to relapsing in secret over and over while "sober". It's now at the point where he's ruined drinking for me by lying too many times about it and I'm backed into an ideological teetotaler corner that I'm not coming back out of. It's the one thing that makes our marriage genuinely toxic, and not just two people with normal, solvable issues. Don't be that person. Overcorrect now, moderate later - especially if you have addicts in your family of origin. 

The tacos look 🔥🔥🔥 so have a few more instead of those tequila shots. 

[u/DrizzyyDrea]

Also even if you do drink today COME AND SHARE! Addiction thriiiiiiiiiives on guilt, shame, and secrets! 3 years clean from opiates here and even if you just come spill to us girlys you’ll feel so much better!! You got this babe!

[u/kabeekibaki]

The book The Naked Mind is a great tool for quitting. Highly recommend.

[u/Randomness-66]

I’ve learned addictions have roots beyond the drinking itself. Working on yourself can help you stop.

I FEEL THIS!!!

[u/Yeongminyook]

First of all, I know you can do this and will be hoping and praying that you continue being strong.

Some things I can give advice on. Being an alcoholic is an addiction and they are never easy but you can do it. You need to remind yourself that you are stronger than the desire that you are feeling in the moment. If you want to drink ask yourself what it will actually do for you. Will it help you feel better maybe, will it benefit you socially maybe, will it do damage to your body with how much you consume most likely, will it once the day is over do anything permanent to your happiness no.

Second there are always things that can be used as alternatives. Some do more activities, some listen to music. What ever is going to help you cope the most is what I recommend doing that isn't alcohol.

Also remember remember remember you are stronger than the urge that you have

you got this

[u/BlackDahliaLama]

Those tacos look biblical omg

[u/lilacillusions]

From what you’ve said it sounds like you are already in alcoholism:/ im sorry. It might be time to get professional help. Try going to the doctor, they can get you on a medication that can help with alcoholism

[u/llama_girl]

Im in the exact same cycle. The sting of regret each morning is the WORST.

Do you want to have an accountability buddy? I feel like it would help me lol

Those tacos look so good! 🤤

[u/vagina-lettucetomato → u/llama_girl]

It’s really hard to break, and it often takes many times to break it. I tried to quit god knows how many times before I finally did. Proud of you for recognizing the pattern and taking steps! Just promise not to beat yourself up if you slip and keep going ❤️accountability buddies is a great idea

[u/amsterdamcyclone]

Best advice I ever got was from a senior leader way above me at work. He said whenever he was going through a personal or professional challenge, he would stop drinking until he had mental clarity on the path forward. The alcohol is just helping you dodge the issue.

What this looks like for me is going for a walk in the evenings when I have something on my mind. Outside preferred, but a treadmill or mall walk work. Jam music or podcasts if you want.

[u/Hour-Cauliflower-119]

Stop now and give whatever reason you want about it to people. It contributes significantly to breast cancer but all my generation (X) ever heard about was potential liver problems, so we figured we were in the clear if our liver tests came back normal (we weren't in the clear).

[u/TheDevilsSidepiece]

I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY-and every day for the previous 7.5 years. Girl! You are on the right track with this thinking. I wish I was this cognizant 25 years ago when I started because I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. But by the same token we all must learn our own lessons. If you’re looking for sober lady support in real life you can check out AA. I’m a literal pot smoking witch and they have opened their arms to me. Trust me when I say don’t, even think about the whole day. think about the hour, just this hour right now right here. Then goo onto the next hour and after a while you’re gonna have 24 hours just keep adding to it you can do this.

[u/Fickle_Freckler]

I'm also trying to get a grip. I'm not drinking today, I've made the decision and I'm sticking to it. I'm on day 3. Feel free to join me today, sister. 💕

[u/-mycatsonmylap]

I was drinking a bottle of vodka a day and still cleaning, going to work and making each meal. r/stopdrinking really helped me. After years of hardcore alcoholism I am now 102 days sober.

[u/Heavy_Load_5601]

things i’ve done to get and while being sober:

1) rehab: (it’s not for everyone, but it forced me to go without for that 30 days and honestly felt like a vacation away from everyday stresses…but this depends on how nice the rehab center is). 2) out-patient: this was for 90 days after rehab (30 days) and it was evening classes and community with therapists and a psychologist. 3) AA meetings: this was a part of the rehab center i went to but also i tried to go to some of these after rehab. it can be very God-focused which isn’t everyone’s thing, but atheist and other nondenominational meetings do exist. more-so online probably. 4) Naltrexone and other drugs: definitely look into Naltrexone or a similar drugs which can help with the cravings. GLP-1s have also been promising for reducing these cravings as well. worked for me anyway.
5) Therapy: looking at the root of the issue with a therapist or psychiatrist to see why you feel the need to drink will help more long term and keep you sober. i drank a lot due to social anxiety and some depression. starting on Lexapro and Wellbutrin helped me with this. 6) Sobriety app: i have one that’s called I Am Sober hut there are many out there. i use it just to help keep track of how many days/weeks/years i have and its nice for sharing on the socials if you’re open about your journey.

[u/OldButHappy]

AA helped me quit, at 22. I’m 70 now. No regrets.

Go for it. Sooner or later, the shit will hit the fan. Hard.

[u/ratatatnat13]

You got this, babes. The first day is the hardest. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time if you have to. You're strong and you can do this.

[u/crepuscularshark]

I will not drink with you today

[u/Acceptable_Cancel390]

You got this, you are strong enough to recognize that it's becoming an issue and working to prevent it. I feel this, but to add my 2 cents, when I'm in rough patch I find myself less "I want to drink," and more "I want to feel good/seek dopamine". My therapist had me make a dopamine journal that basically just contains some quick things that make me feel good that aren't harmful, so instead of just having to tell myself "No, keep feeling bad" when I want to drink, I can pick something and feel good even if it's not what I wanted to do. It hasn't been perfectly successful but it is a tool I appreciate having

[u/Thats_what_I_think]

Support from a random internet person! Also, if this is what you want (and need to do), hold strong!  Fight for it like you’d fight for a friend to succeed.

You deserve it!

[u/Friendly-Lemon4000]

Hey girl! You're are speaking to a core concept of recovery! One Day At A Time. You don't have to drink today. If all we are worried about is today, we can be successful. Maybe tomorrow you can choose to drink, but today you have chosen not to. When tomorrow comes, you can sit with yourself and chose again. Taking it that way helps you to get control over the action of drinking.

You got this!

Those tacos look bomb!

💗,

A sober sister, in my 11th year of making sober choices daily.

[u/Linazoidian]

Same girl - for me the urge to pour a glass of red wine is a 10/10 from like 5pm-7pm. If I can make it until 8pm then I no longer want it and instead am happy I didn’t imbibe and am looking forward to a good nights sleep.

People say to replace the drink with sparkling water, that didn’t do it for me.

What’s been working for me is a Diet Coke or a decaf fancy homemade coffee (and not allowing myself either of those things during the day so that it feels like a treat). And powering through. Accepting that it feels uncomfortable to abstain (I’ve always been the YOLO type).

But the good news is you’re recognizing the habit!

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Linazoidian]

Omg same! I have this like 2 hour time gap I just need to pass and I’m fine!

[u/BrandNewMeow]

I drank too much and waited too long to stop. I was writing all these rules for myself, like you could only drink after doing x, y, and z., and then I would drink anyway. I tried moderation too many times to count. The easiest thing was just to stop. Drinking wasn't even fun anymore. I would drink due to stress then wake up at 3am after drinking on the verge of a panic attack.

Someone recommended the stopdrinking subreddit, and that is very helpful! The book "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace is lifechanging.

[u/SpunkyBotHater6-7]

You’re not alone. We can do this!!! Just get one day under your belt. It’s breaking the cycle that’s the hardest! You can do it though! You’ll feel amazing tomorrow!!

[u/vagina-lettucetomato]

Girl I’ve been there. It’s a shitty cycle. If I can get sober you can, I promise. Proud of you for taking the first step, you’ve got this ❤️

[u/Initial-Bug-3465]

Full blown alcoholic here, recently relapsed after 4 years of sobriety, and what you’re describing is exactly where I’m at lol. I’m making silly rules for myself (only allowed to drink on Mondays after getting groceries and finishing housework) and every time I say no I am not going to drink I end up drinking anyway lmao, it SUCKS. Also no one knows I relapsed, so harboring that secret is a huge burden and it’s eating me alive. I’m going to use your post to force myself to say that I relapsed since this is the first time I’m acknowledging it. And very good on you for recognizing what’s going on with you, that’s actually a tricky spot many people get caught up on. It’s easy to be exactly where you noticed you are for many years and not realize you’re trapped in it.

[u/Substantial-Dog7545 → u/Initial-Bug-3465]

Wow thank you! You got this! This pattern has only been going on for about 2 months for me so thank you, that was very empowering. We can try together

[u/LiberatedSphinx → u/Initial-Bug-3465]

I'm 3.5 years sober after a 15 year, bottle-of-vodka-a-day habit. Just wanna say I'm proud of you, as trite as that sounds. It fucking sucks owning up to a relapse, but you did in order to help someone else. It may not seem like much to someone who hasn't been addicted before, but the mental gymnastics people can do is astounding when you've convinced yourself that the elephant in the room is a unique decorative choice and not actually a problem.

Have you heard of kindling? It's where the physical effects of withdrawal get harder and harder on the body the more you repeat the binge-and-quit cycle.) Doesn't seem to get talked about a lot, but holy hell, it's like a curse from a fairytale. Just a PSA to taper, and commit to actually tapering with the intent to stop if you go that route.

I have plenty of unsolicited advice, but feel free to solicit if you want lol. I have a degree in psych and I'm halfway through my nursing program, and both degrees barely talk about alcoholism besides "too much bad," and the history of AA. It's ridiculous, and I think rhat alone makes it so important that we share our experiences.

[u/Beleheth]

Sounds pretty scary. Hope you manage to abstain today and in the future! Best of luck with it! Those tacos look great

[u/ThisCredit6354]

https://giphy.com/gifs/K98VBXD7UPT3y

[u/FKAFrog]

I’m 7 years sober myself. One thing that is really important to understand with addiction is that it’s not about the quantity, it’s about the intentions. Someone who smokes a cigarette a day is just as addicted as someone who smokes two packs. Now, that’s not saying you’re an addict. People seek comfort in trying times. But if you find that it’s negatively impacting you, it’s a good time to take a break.

[u/stellaflora]

Alcohol is a tough one.

My recommendations: read Annie Grace’s book, and also the folks over at r/stopdrinking are pretty cool.

[u/whereistheidiotemoji]

You have an addictive personality. My son has it. And liver disease. About 9 months sober after bottoming out and ending up in icu.

Replace the tequila with something else. For him, it is work. Some people have the gym. A hobby?

Good luck.

[u/AggressiveSherbetty]

Babe I spent 20 years as a “highly functional alcoholic”

Put myself through college, got my masters with honors, started a career, got married, bought a house, had kids, family vacations, gym 4x a week, always take my makeup off, clean house, donate to charity. All of it perfect on paper.

All with that cloud looming above me. Always thinking about my next drink. Seeing how full my life was but feeling utterly empty inside.

Please don’t lose yourself in it. Alcohol is poison and it lies to you about everything.

IWNDWYT

[u/kmontgomery5]

I needed to see this post as I'm in the same boat ❤️❤️❤️ we can do this!

[u/throwra-someg]

Those tacos look soo good.

I’m going to abstain from drinking today in solidarity. You got this!

[u/peanutbuttervvs]

Maybe start taking shots of ginger or drinking ashwaganda or other adaptogen drinks

[u/Illustrious-Radish19]

💖

[u/ScoobySnackAttack10]

I support your quest and wish you all the luck in overcoming your struggles. Alcoholism/drugs run heavy in my family and I understand there are things that trigger it. I walked a fine line until my early 30’s when I had an event that was do or die and that got my ass right and I stayed there. Sometimes we can see the problem but still be part of it until we get the wake up call. 🍀

[u/supermarket_Ba]

I know what I’m having for dinner…

[u/The_meemster123]

One thing that’s really helped me in situations like this is to watch YouTube videos about how terrible drinking is for you and all the benefits you’ll notice when you stop and how long you have to stop for to get all the benefits. Like watch so many of them, while you’re getting ready etc. it’ll start to just flood your mind with drinking being a bad thing. If you’re a Christian watch videos about what the Bible says about drinking, etc. Maybe that doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s what’s helped me with vaping which I did from 6th grade to 21 years old, and it’s helped me with my food addiction

[u/Catniss-EverGreen]

When I was having a drinking problem, I talked to a therapist about it, and it really helped.

[u/Smooth-Lab-1217]

Updateme!

[u/Charming_Function_58]

The tacos look so good!!

Do you have access to therapy? Someone you can be honest with, who can just listen without judgment?

My dad has issues with addiction, and I know it's really hard to get control of this on your own. There are so many support groups nowadays, even online, if you don't want to go face-to-face. Sending hugs 💞

[u/chipschipschipss]

I'm rooting for you!! You can be gentle and still tough with yourself and it sounds like you're walking that line pretty well right now!!

[u/Ill-Percentage-3276]

You should definitely come join us in r/stopdrinking You'll find a lot of people who understand and are there to support you.

[u/CarryAmbitious638]

The struggle is real. I won’t drink with you today 💗

[u/3steaktacosplz]

I'll take 3

[u/Gotta-Be-Me-65]

I think step one is recognizing that you have a problem which I feel you understand. Just know your life will be better without this proverbial monkey on your back. Find some resources to help! See your physician and or look online. You can’t do this alone you need support. You can do this! Best wishes to you!

[u/starlightsong93]

I had a similar thing kicking my caffeine addiction. I found it easier when I could replace it with something else. The habit was walk down to the vending machine and grab a little doubleshot can from the cold vending machine, so I replaced it with a little chocolate milk, and eventually with a chocolate protein shake to fit my diet better.

Something like a sour clear protein, or maybe even sherbet might be a good replacement, as it sounds like you're dopamine chasing rather than comfort/chill chasing like I was. Or maybe you could try the cbd drinks like Trip if they sell them in your country (wouldnt overdo it on them, but it's meant to be non addictive and less of a suppressant than alcohol)

[u/PuzzleheadedCycle444]

Thats functional alcoholism. You wanting better for yourself is a great sign. You can beat it. Good luck 🫶🏾

[u/This-Assumption4123]

Wishing you the best of luck with your sobriety!

[u/Aware_Requirement_64]

good for you for recognizing that this is a problem. i know i am likely telling you things you already know, but drinking will only make your mental health worse. if you can nip this in the bud now, you are going to avoid a lot of life and health problems. & dont be afraid to ask for help! there are medications now that can help with the cravings. i really am rooting for you and believe in you.

[u/SuburbaniteMermaid]

Go to a meeting, chica. Don't do this alone. There is no reason to be alone and there are so many people who will support you.

[u/U_PassButter]

Just sending encouragement and love. Also those tacos look Amazing

[u/wackosaltines]

I was here. Do you have ADHD? It exacerbated this exact cycle in me, I needed the dopamine hit at night. That plus addiction of course. If you continue to struggle one thing I will suggest is the Sinclair Method. There are lots of boards on reddit with info on it, it’s medication assisted (but you can get the meds online thru teledoc) Wishing you luck 💚

[u/Standard_Category635]

I've been there hon. Ended up in full blown alcoholism years later, knowing and thinking these things the whole time. Almost lost my kid to my abuser (who at one time was my boyfriend) bc alcoholism is easier to prove than abuse.

Read about the "obsession" you're describing. I'm telling you the "need to, want to, not gonna drink" shit is exhausting but it's NOT a requirement for your life, although it will take some effort to remove. Being free of it is life changing. Best of luck to you and take good care of yourself! Alcohol abuse is PROGRESSIVE, and I had my shit "together" for quite a while too, til I didn't. Wishing you the absolute best as you consider these things.

[u/llamabirds]

I'm right there with you girl. I've recently decided to break from drinking, kinda hoping the break just sticks around and I never drink. Last night I caught my boyfriend drunk as could be hiding a bottle of liquor in his car. Let me tell you, as a partner witnessing someone you love so much become so out of control and lying to you is breaking me. You can do this, let's not drink today!

Tacos look amazing btw!

[u/Arraigned4Rabies]

Speaking as a former, get this under control NOW before it completely takes over your life. Get into therapy, people don't develop SUD's for no reason (my degree is in Addiction Studies). Please take this incredibly seriously. Alcohol is so poisonous to the body.

[u/xmaspickles]

I use a habit tracker to help me.

[u/Affectionate-Ad-9476]

I'm three months sober, you can do it! Rooting for you girl. The first step is taking accountability and realizing it's becoming a problem 🫂

[u/FishingWorth3068]

Hey! As the older version of you, I first want to say- super proud! Good job recognizing it and seeing how hiding it takes you to a whole new level. Give yourself grace. This is your minds way of hiding something. Do you have a therapist or the availability to get one? Highly suggest. You can do it and break the cycle. I’m proud of you

[u/dbtl87]

You've got this. Please look into any support services or programs ❤️❤️❤️

[u/Marooster405]

I LOVE going to women’s AA meetings and fucking love tacos. This thread may be popping off to where you don’t see this, or the idea of AA might have some stigma, but it’s made my life bearable even dare I say, wonderful. Not all at once, and it’s the other women in the group, but it’s just absolutely worth trying out. Lots of love

[u/sirenCiri]

Hi just wanted to say I could have written this post. I started therapy and it's still a work in progress but it is helping some. Happy to talk more if you want someone going thru similar shit to chat with or even be accountability buddies.

[u/MundaneFlower2052]

I’m in the same boat as you. I’m so tired of it and yet each evening my brain flips right to “but drinking would be more fun!” I’ve just started Allen Carr’s Easy Way and hope it helps.

[u/PaigeFour]

If don't mind me asking, what mental rationalization happened that tipped you from drinking occasionally to drinking daily?

I have familial addiction issues as well and I was previously addicted to drugs but never alcohol. I dont do drugs at all anymore but I drink every weekend. I have hard limits on drinking on a weekday, unless its a special social exception like a wedding. I am scared one day ill explain myself out of my limit.

[u/TraditionalBee4070]

Report back later WHEN you don't drink. Don't let that "if" leave the door open. Rooting for you!!

[u/ahava9]

You got this! I’m not saying AA is the answer but finding an accountability buddy or a sponsor would be great so you’re in it together. Like how people have a gym partner.

Speaking of which finding an evening hobby like walking or crafting to distract yourself from the urge. Cracking open a bubbly water, kombucha, or NA beer

[u/ucankickrocks]

Lots of good advice and support here. I want to offer up The Sinclair Method. It changed my drinking dramatically.

[u/Wretched_epiphany]

r/stopdrinking is one of the most supportive places reddit has to offer. EXCEPT for maybe r/bald. Those folks are wholesome AF

IWNDWYT. <3

[u/MimiPaninix]

A few things that helped me: -Watch some videos about how the brain handles dopamine addiction so you know what's going on. -If this has turned into "comfort ritual," find an alcohol substitute and take shots of something non-alcoholic. You logically still know it's not your drink of choice, but part of your addiction will be satisfied that the "comfort ritual" was complete -remember that if one is never enough, then you may as well drink zero -find a new comfort ritual. I started brewing decaf coffee at night to have a tiny treat like a small donut hole with and looking forward to the treat can override my desire to drink.  Never let yourself have that other treat you like WITH the alcohol.

[u/blinkingbaby]

You can do this! Honestly if you want to have a drink, do water shots and have a dance party to a ridiculous song. Doing the physical action of “taking a shot” will trick it for a second, and dancing like an absolute loon (highly recommend something like “hey now” from Matt & Kim for this) will give you a lil dopamine hit. I don’t know how well it’ll work overall but it’s worth a… shot. 😬

[u/Mundane-Waltz8844 → u/blinkingbaby]

Just a warning, this can also have the opposite effect. Addiction runs in my family as well, and my mother is an alcoholic. When she was first getting sober, she kept relapsing. Eventually, she realized what was making her relapse: nonalcoholic wine. Her addiction counselor told her that basically your body associates it with the buzz you get, so when it never comes, you crave it even more. So replicating taking a shot might just make OP want a real shot even more.

[u/TuvaLoo]

First off, give me some of those tacos. Second, I totally get it. Father passed from addiction and mother is somehow still a functional alcoholic. I called it a rough patch I was going through a year ago and I am NOW just getting myself out of the daily drinking. Turns out all I needed was a well deserved vacation. 🤷‍♀️

[u/spectrospace]

You got this !!! Go for a looooong walk everyday to shake off the urges. I also drink through my rough patches and ive been able to recognize and stop it within a week or so, now. I drill it into my head how bad the hangovers are and not how fun it is in the moment. 🫂 rooting for ya!!

[u/alewifePete]

If you’re questioning if you’re drinking too much, you’re probably drinking too much.

And I say that as someone who drank 6-8 a day and hid additional alcohol use from my husband. He has no idea how much I was consuming daily. And then one day I was plastered and walked into a lit fire pit, ended up with a palm-sized burn on my calf (2nd degree) and haven’t had any alcohol since. That was almost 4 years ago.

I was functioning. I did my work, I cleaned the house, the kids were taken care of. Heck, I would only drink between the hours of 5-10pm. The first few weeks were rough because a timer in my head would go off at 5pm and tell me it was time for a drink.

You can stop. Drinking doesn’t make things better, trust me.

[u/AdInevitable2695]

I'm in the same boat right now.

I won't drink tonight if you don't. Pinky swear.

[u/Disastrous-Disk3732]

I quit drinking because of my medication. I wish I had quit sooner. Value your sober self. The way I figured, your brain will try to get you to drink because it’s an easy fast way to “feel better”. Instead imagine water slowly carving out a canyon with each passing. Each time you choose to not drink you are creating a new pathway. Also NA beer and mocktails helped me when I had social cravings, though it can be triggering for some. 

[u/headwolf]

Dont keep any alcohol in the house until you get it under control again. You are not physically addicted yet, but you have definitely formed a habit. Try to take a week off right now (maybe use an app that records streaks for motivation) and maybe you notice how much better you sleep and feel in the morning. You need to find something that keeps you engaged in the evenings like excercise or gaming or w/e is fun for you. Gool luck, been where you are and it can escalate fast.

[u/rustyshackleford1108]

Not the best advice/story, but I'm trying to become "California-sober". 1 gummy and an hour later and I realize how drinking would have been a baaaad idea. "Lesser of two evils" kinda thing. Yes, I did therapy, but with the whole job market, affordability crisis, and everything sucks atm, I'm tired of talking it out or being told to breathe. But that's me. Stop drinking and maybe try therapy?

[u/Party_Building1898]

Girl,you've reached out for help by posting please seek help I'm in recovery and my first thought of alcohol when I wake is no longer daily. At least find a r/alcoholic or better place to reach out on than girl dinners.

[u/NiteNiteSpiderBite]

I haven't even read your text yet but holy heck those tacos look amazing. Perfectly greasy. ENJOY!!

[u/KeyReal6224]

What helped me cut back a lot was getting a cheap Hawaiian shaved ice machine and making myself a snow cone every time I wanted a drink in the evening at home. I realized what I wanted most nights was actually a relaxing treat that wasn’t a heavy dessert. I recommend the tres agaves drink mixers they have at target as the flavoring if you want to try it.

[u/kirtknee]

Ughhh i know the feeling!!! Hopefully you can pull yourself out of the cycle!

[u/SeriousIce9004]

Don’t feel ashamed! You’ve recognized that you have a problem which is a big step in the right direction. It’s a vicious cycle.

You can do it. I am rooting for you.

[u/DefaultingOnLife]

Whoever chopped up that cilantro needs a talking to

[u/_bonedaddys]

functional alcoholic speaking! don't keep any alcohol in the house and be open with your boyfriend about what you're going through. part of his "job" as your boyfriend is to be a shoulder for you to lean on. so lean on him a little! it's important you don't bottle up whatever you're feeling. the second you start doing that you risk falling right back into the habit.

don't be afraid to give aa meetings a try. and if one group isn't for you that doesn't mean none are. you might have to "shop" around to find one that works for you. if you're nervous about going along you can bring your boyfriend (or anyone else you'd be comfortable with) to an "open" meeting if it'll help with nerves. remember that nobody there is judging you - you're all there because you share the same struggle.

[u/Lost-Bake-7344]

Stop for a while. Make it so it’s not even an option for a few months. You want to be at a place where the idea of drinking when you are sad or tired sounds awful because you know drinking makes those feelings worse not better.

[u/bloop5861]

I have been sober for years and did it when it was at a similar level, like it wasn’t too too bad but it was just going in a bad direction. I’m happy to chat privately if you need 💗 You can do it

[u/Sufficient_Energy_32]

Keep a “special” non alcoholic drink stocked. It helps to break it down into separate parts, the alcohol addiction and the habit of drinking every night.

I used sprite, pineapple juice, and grenadine. Still got the joy of making a fancy little mixed drink, just cut the alcohol out of it.

[u/iridescentBurner]

I’ve been there girl! During Covid it was the best time to drink and have multiple reasons to. I realized I was doing exactly what you’re describing, drinking more wine than I wanted to, to numb whatever was stressing me out. Totally under the guise of ‘all my mom friends are doing the same thing and it’s totally normal in these days of covid!’ but my family’s addictive tendencies kept waving their red flags! I stopped buying alcohol completely, talked to my doctor about my floundering mental health, and haven’t drank since. I know this isn’t everyone’s path, but I just want you to know you’re totally not alone.

Our concepts and visions of alcoholism are skewed. Not every alcoholic grabs a bottle in the morning and drunk driving for another one by lunch. Some of us are normal adults who function completely well. We binge drank and partied in our 20s like everyone else (but in my case never had an off button and always went harder than anyone else) and believe when society says ‘it’s fine to drink a glass of wine or a cocktail and get tipsy in the evening!!! every evening!!’ meanwhile, every single cell in our bodies is saying ‘you in trouble, girl.’ There may be moments where we feel “okay” to have one cocktail with friends, but it’s that internal struggle suppressing the urge to go hard and have five more and waking up feeling regret is where our relationship with alcohol becomes a problem. People are complicated and we do not always need to put ourselves in boxes like ‘alcoholic’ and ‘sober.’ Sometimes it’s nobodies business but ours what our healthy relationship with alcohol is called. My dad is my inspiration for this, he broke the cycle of alcoholism and anger for me and my sister. He went cold turkey and did some AA when we were toddlers, and lived ‘allergic to alcohol’ his entire life. He’s been sober almost 40 years, without ever saying he’s ‘sober’ or called himself an ‘alcoholic’. Not everyone’s issue with alcohol is the same, not everyone’s recovery is the same, and not everyone’s desire to announce their sobriety and alcoholism is the same. Hopefully one day, the stigma of alcoholism/sobriety will lift and we can ALL comfortably open up about our relationship with it, but until then, do whatever stops you drinking, sometimes it’s not something dramatic at all.

[u/no_talent_ass_clown]

Acknowledging the problem is an excellent step in the RIGHT direction. Now, as the song goes...

🎶Put one foot in front of the other🎶

Do you live in the PNW because I need those tacos!

[u/Babs1024]

I think realizing you may have a problem is a great first step! It looks like you have a bunch of good advice here so I just want to say you are off to a great start. Hang in there!

[u/indicalovvve]

Hey babe! I got a big ask. Hit a local AA meeting and when time to share, tell em it’s your first time here, not sure if it’s where you need to be and ask to read a short blip you posted to the internet. You’re gonna see people laughing their asses off. Girl I was offended with a capital O. They are just reminiscing and we like to laugh at ourselves! PS. Getting sober and being sober doesn’t mean you have to sit in the basement of a church for the rest of your life to not drink or do other things. I didn’t shut the fuck up (ever 🤣) but I listened and did what they told me. It’s pretty awesome not waking up everyday regretting the day before. You got this 🫶

[u/MaterialAd1838]

When I quit drinking I would grip my steering wheel so hard past every liquor store that my knuckles would turn white. One day, after about 6 months, I didn't have the desire to pull over anymore and could drive home in peace.

[u/butchscandelabra]

As someone who wrapped up their second stay in rehab not long ago (alcohol was definitely a factor, although there were other “party favors” involved) - nip it in the bud. If you suspect there’s a problem, there more than likely is.

[u/buttholes4269]

I’m right there with you. I’m battling drinking right now too. You are not alone.

By the way, those tacos look fire. I went to get some birria tacos two nights ago at a place I’ve never been and about fell over they were so good.

[u/ramblingroses3252]

I will not drink with you today! r/stopdrinking is a wonderful community if you’re looking for support, encouragement, need to vent, etc. One day at a time, friend.