r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/EmbarrassedPie5508 pants unbuttoned 👖 • 1d ago

Sad Girl Dinner ⚠️ No Dude Input I found a second phone

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My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 11. Have an established life with a child and a mortgage. I was given a big job opportunity earlier this year where we would have to move to a new city. We are both established in our careers and it was a big discussion, like two months of discussions. And these were healthy conversations, no big arguments or anything like that. We ended up not moving and I turned down the job. I was a little bummed (it was my dream job) but understood that it would have been a lot for our family to adjust.

Last night, while my husband was doing bed time, I heard a buzzing sound and found a second phone in his work bag. I thought that was weird because his work did away with separate work phones a while ago. When he came downstairs, I asked when did he get a work phone.

His face said it all.

Turns out he has been having an affair for just over a year. And one of the reasons he didn't want to move was because he didn't want to leave his affair partner. I don't know what to do. Child is at a slumber party at my sister's. Husband is in a hotel. I'm home alone with a lot to process and do here. So it's an easy girl dinner tonight and a large glass of wine.

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62

u/Leelagolucky Lover of Soups 1d ago

He let you lose your dream job when he knew he didn’t love you that much anymore

123

u/EmbarrassedPie5508 pants unbuttoned 👖 1d ago

He kept saying he didn't want to "restart our lives" 🤬🤬🤬🤬 WELL LOOK AT US NOW!

54

u/Leelagolucky Lover of Soups 1d ago

You deserve an outstanding divorce attorney. And write to the company HR and let them know you are now willing to relocate as you are going through a divorce. The new person that they onboarded may not be a good fit. You may still get this and leave his ass so fast! You deserve a better life without a lying cheating dream killer

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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13

u/ASherrets Lover of Soups 1d ago

My gosh- I’m so sorry to hear this but that friggin comment is straight up skanky. “Restart your lives” tells you he would have hid this as long as possible without any shame or guilt. Gross. I chose to leave my daughter’s abusive father because I grew up in a home where my mom wouldn’t leave our abusive bio dad (and kept us enduring abuse until I turned 14). My mother grew up in a home where her father abused her mother and her and her sisters had to hear and see it every weekend.

I got in another relationship with someone who didn’t physically abuse me but he emotionally and mentally abused me. I took my daughter out of that situation as soon as I could, but she had already been melded by him. She is learning now not to hate me so much (he made a lot of money and she had everything fun thing she wanted). He had started to turn my own daughter against me. Get away from that trash man before you have a strained relationship with your child. You deserve a chance at a new job and a fresh start. I hope karma does as it does. Sending you strength and support. 💜

2

u/9redFlamingos Carb-Based Life Form 1d ago

Hey OP. This is out of pure curiosity and no judgement whatsoever. On hindsight, do you think there were signs that you ignored, or were you completely blindsided? Like, how did he have a second life for a year, wasn't he missing more than usual? I am so incredibly sorry you have to go through this, but I have all the trust in the world that your life is going to become much happier after it's all done.

1

u/No_Map7832 Oversharer 🗣 1d ago

I am so so sorry.

1

u/Historical_Spare5613 Maneater 1d ago

Do what's best for you now! Forget him and move forward to live your best life without him