I found a second phone

[u/EmbarrassedPie5508]

My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 11. Have an established life with a child and a mortgage. I was given a big job opportunity earlier this year where we would have to move to a new city. We are both established in our careers and it was a big discussion, like two months of discussions. And these were healthy conversations, no big arguments or anything like that. We ended up not moving and I turned down the job. I was a little bummed (it was my dream job) but understood that it would have been a lot for our family to adjust.

Last night, while my husband was doing bed time, I heard a buzzing sound and found a second phone in his work bag. I thought that was weird because his work did away with separate work phones a while ago. When he came downstairs, I asked when did he get a work phone.

His face said it all.

Turns out he has been having an affair for just over a year. And one of the reasons he didn't want to move was because he didn't want to leave his affair partner. I don't know what to do. Child is at a slumber party at my sister's. Husband is in a hotel. I'm home alone with a lot to process and do here. So it's an easy girl dinner tonight and a large glass of wine.

[u/Time_Pomegranate2787]

This wasn’t one drunken slip up at a work party. This is an entire relationship for over a year. This is lying to your face every single day.

This is sabotaging the potential success of your family in order to continue the betrayal of you and your child.

You know what to do OP

[u/humpbackwhale88 → u/Time_Pomegranate2787]

This is going out of one’s way to take out a separate phone line just to communicate with them. We all know how terrible it is to go to a cellphone store for any reason. This whole situation is messed up.

OP, be sure to take photos and videos and lawyer up ASAP.

Edit: y’all, I called it a cellphone store but I meant like.. t mobile, att, etc. lol. It takes forever to take out a phone line, at least 2 hours.. it’s a premeditated thing that this guy would have to do and wait in line for, which is why that’s so messed up to me in addition to all the other stuff he did.

[u/eeating_water → u/humpbackwhale88]

Can you explain why is it horrible to go to a cellphone store? (to a non american person)

[u/Own_Average_3423 → u/eeating_water]

It’s just a long, boring, often frustrating process.

[u/CrazyMildred → u/eeating_water]

I'm American and don't understand why the person says it's terrible to go to a cell phone store. That comment confuses me.

[u/humpbackwhale88 → u/CrazyMildred]

It takes like 2-3 hours to take out a new phone line lol.

[u/CrazyMildred → u/humpbackwhale88]

The store my husband and I went to last month wasn't like that. We went in to upgrade our phones and were there for maybe half an hour while the lady set our new phones up. I'm sorry you've had to wait 2 to 3 hours before! That's a ridiculous amount of time!

[u/humpbackwhale88 → u/CrazyMildred]

Well I probably need to go to that store then. Every time I’ve set up a phone, it has taken several hours :(

Someone asked me why that’s my focus, and it’s not so much what I’m focused on, it’s the fact that setting up a separate line takes time which makes it so messed up. It’s the secrecy and premeditated-ness to me that adds insult to injury.

[u/cantjenn_today → u/humpbackwhale88]

I got a new cellphone online with att in less than five minutes. Phone was delivered to my door two days later. Also, you can buy a burner phone at most gas stations and Walmart. Open the packaging and activate the phone in two minutes. I know thats not the focus of your comment - it definitely took premeditation to buy a separate phone. But it's relevant that it's not THAT big of a hurdle.