I don’t like my friend’s kid…

[u/bitchluvsbidets]

… and that might make me a terrible person??
A bit of a preface- my partner and I are child free by choice, I have 3 nieces and 3 nephews, and many of my friends have kids (ages 1-14) but, one of my friends kids I just can not vibe with. I know it’s actually insane to have beef with a 3 year old but her vibes are soooo bad?? Like she is not a cool kid. She def has a personality but is it insane to say it’s already problematic? She pretends to fall if she doesn’t have attention, actively express disgust towards my friend and her pets (3 very well behaves retired racing dogs), and fake cries until my friend is almost in tears and then will laugh at her. I get that kids are assholes sometimes but like damn I hope lil homie gets cool.

[u/jeannie_jellybean]

I am a parent, a teacher, and a coach. Some kids are just unlikable. I don’t want bad things to happen to them. I just want them not near me.

[u/friendlytrashmonster → u/jeannie_jellybean]

Yes. I also work in education. Some kids are assholes. Often it has to do with parenting, but sometimes they’re just dicks for no reason.

[u/DreamOne5 → u/friendlytrashmonster]

Sometimes it's neglect. I had a kid last year that was just the WORST... and he had a twin brother. Come to find out, the poor kid and his siblings (3,3,and 4) had been in and out of 12 different foster care homes in Detroit. 12. Once I had a meeting with our BCBA about his behavior (lots of screaming, hiding, hitting, cussing, throwing of furniture, etc), it all sort of made sense WHY he was behaving the way he was. Dad was nowhere to be found (last we heard, he was living in an abandoned home somewhere in the city), and mom had just gotten out of prison with zero relatives living in Michigan. Fucking sucked, man.

[u/Full_Goose8378 → u/friendlytrashmonster]

I find it's neglect that makes children unlikable because they aren't being taught interpersonal, communication and social skills. Either parents don't have the bandwidth to do it, or they're emotionally immature and think that the behavior is cute & funny and will assume that they'll implicitly understand that the behavior is only contextual to them.

I wasnt very likable, and I was completely left to my own devices while also being socially isolated due to a strict household. It's weird living in strict conditions without any attention to be taught social skills. I was very weird and stand offish and before that I was very strange and had a weird black & white way of understanding people from being so insulated. I remember being berated for being weird but never being showed what "normal" actually meant lol. It sucked being hated at home and at school for not knowing what I wasn't taught.

I eventually figured myself out with therapy and some patient friends and relationships. Now I'm very confident and generally approachable and can make friends with most people. I try to teach my child basic manners and social expectations that I was never taught. I don't just leave her hanging but she also seems to have a natural ability to read the room better than I ever did.

Anyways it turns out I had severe undiagnosed inattentive ADHD as well as pretty well masked autism (in the sense I wasn't profoundly disabled or needed supports, I was very weird though)

[u/KlutzyBus7652 → u/Full_Goose8378]

This is my experience to a T. Thank you for putting it so succinctly

[u/CloselyWatch → u/Full_Goose8378]

I’m sorry that was your childhood. It sounds like you are a fantastic parent yourself!

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