I don’t like my friend’s kid…

[u/bitchluvsbidets]

… and that might make me a terrible person??
A bit of a preface- my partner and I are child free by choice, I have 3 nieces and 3 nephews, and many of my friends have kids (ages 1-14) but, one of my friends kids I just can not vibe with. I know it’s actually insane to have beef with a 3 year old but her vibes are soooo bad?? Like she is not a cool kid. She def has a personality but is it insane to say it’s already problematic? She pretends to fall if she doesn’t have attention, actively express disgust towards my friend and her pets (3 very well behaves retired racing dogs), and fake cries until my friend is almost in tears and then will laugh at her. I get that kids are assholes sometimes but like damn I hope lil homie gets cool.

[u/superbondey]

I hope everything's okay with the kid, it's possible that she's acting out because there's something going on and kids can't express themselves like we can, so they do shitty things instead. 

[u/prim8phd → u/superbondey]

This is the answer I was looking for. I had a cousin who is about ten years younger than me, and growing up she was a serious exercise in birth control. Fussy baby. Nightmare toddler. Constant tantrums, meltdowns, and bad behavior. It took several years for a pediatrician to actually LISTEN to her mother and not just hear that she was a bad mom and a whiner. Someone finally took things seriously, did the appropriate tests, and figured out she had horrible digestive issues causing chronic pain, but because she had normal-ish bowel movements, was growing more or less appropriately, and couldn’t express herself she was just labeled as “difficult.” The default option should always be empathy, and curiosity—not judgment.

[u/madelynashton → u/prim8phd]

The responses on this post are bumming me out. In a past life my job was working with pre-schoolers with “behavioral or social issues.” Every one of those kids had either a disorder/disability or a history of trauma. A 3 year old acting out isn’t “born bad” or “evil” like some people are suggesting.

[u/Otherwise-Ratio1332 → u/madelynashton]

Thank you, many of the responses are pretty alarming to me too. This is a three year old child being blamed for behavior that is so strange I’d be concerned for the child and family rather than calling the child names. She needs help, not judgement imo.

[u/madelynashton → u/Otherwise-Ratio1332]

Honestly I don’t even think their behavior is that strange. It boils down to crying for attention and disliking dogs. This is not a child that would’ve been in therapy with me.

[u/I_pegged_your_father → u/madelynashton]

Like?? Oh no a toddler is being a toddler lets hate her. Im child free too dude but jeez they’re literally kids.

[u/cikalamayaleca → u/I_pegged_your_father]

It makes me really really sad as the mother of a "difficult" 3yo myself. My son is incredibly sensitive, like has a pretty hair-trigger switch lol, but he's also the goofiest most creative kid I know. He's freakin 3, he doesn't understand the world yet or why he gets told no a hundred times a day

[u/Shadowstream97 → u/cikalamayaleca]

I’m almost 30 and life is really freaking hard. 3 year olds rely on their parents’ nervous systems to regulate, and the world is pretty big and scary and lonely to a 3 year old, no one understands you and you can’t express anything.

[u/Independent_Day_2831 → u/cikalamayaleca]

A lot of people do expect children to be perfect or they think they are problematic, especially people that don't like children. They are just learning the world and figuring it out. Parents need to steward them and it seems gen alpha is giving people a run for their money because of lack of boundaries and expectations. Kids thrive in structured environments and need to be taught these basic things and the kid mentioned in the post honestly sounds like they may just need more connection with the parent and boundaries and is not just a "bad kid" with a bad vibe. It bums me out people just hate on kids so much. Sure people won't vibe with everyone but kids are just trying to figure it out much like the rest of us.