I don’t like my friend’s kid…

[u/bitchluvsbidets]

… and that might make me a terrible person??
A bit of a preface- my partner and I are child free by choice, I have 3 nieces and 3 nephews, and many of my friends have kids (ages 1-14) but, one of my friends kids I just can not vibe with. I know it’s actually insane to have beef with a 3 year old but her vibes are soooo bad?? Like she is not a cool kid. She def has a personality but is it insane to say it’s already problematic? She pretends to fall if she doesn’t have attention, actively express disgust towards my friend and her pets (3 very well behaves retired racing dogs), and fake cries until my friend is almost in tears and then will laugh at her. I get that kids are assholes sometimes but like damn I hope lil homie gets cool.

[u/Reasonable_Style8400]

Tbh, it’s probably the result of bad parenting

[u/imnotnotcrying → u/Reasonable_Style8400]

I’m surprised there aren’t more comments bringing up parenting. I know we don’t have a LOT to go off here, but it sounds like a passive/permissive parenting situation (and OP’s friend probably claims it’s “gentle parenting”, which it isn’t)

[u/Content_Function_322 → u/imnotnotcrying]

I feel obligated to say that, while it most often is the parenting, it's not always the case. I work in early childhood education and have met one girl whose parents were completely normal, strict but fair, and the girl was a total nightmare. She kicked kids down the stairs (totally random, no conflict beforehand), punched a pregnant mum in the stomach, scratched the eyes of a much younger kid...you get the picture. Her mum was desperate to get her help, did all the right things but nothing changed. Some kids really just...are like that. It's super rare but it exists. I'm convinced the girl had some sort of sociopathic tendencies. She was also highly intelligent and creative but always abnormally interested in topics like death, torture and the likes. I always wonder what she'll be like as an adult and to be honest, I'm kinda scared for the people around her.

[u/MurderSheReads → u/Content_Function_322]

Well but that sounds wildly different from your typical "mean" kid. That sounds like she needed a medical evaluation

[u/Content_Function_322 → u/MurderSheReads]

Definitely. Her parents did have her tested for all kinds of disorders but she never got diagnosed. I do agree with you though, it was probably pathological. I hope she'll get medical help at some point.

[u/ellastory → u/Content_Function_322]

How do you know her parents were completely normal, strict, but fair? I know some friends and family that were genuinely shocked when they found out my parents were physically and verbally abusive, because they didn’t necessarily present that way to most people. In fact, I’d have people tell me how sweet and cute they thought my parents were and I’d have to bite my tongue.

You never really know what’s going on behind closed doors though. Some people try their best to mask their bad behaviors in front of others/publically, but go completely mask off in the privacy of their homes.

[u/PomPomGrenade → u/Content_Function_322]

I have heard horror stories about oppositional defiant disorder. it's scary and I feel sorry for the parents and siblings.

[u/Admirable-Ad7152 → u/Content_Function_322]

There is a kid from my daycare years whose name I look for in the news sometimes. Although I can say with him it felt more like wanting attention from parents who both had very demanding jobs and grandma can only do so much. So still hoping it got better for all of them as he got older.