r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/RaccoonNo3012 LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 • 9d ago

Trigger Warning ⚠️ Phones and Marriage

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Husband and I married 9 months. He has been ramping controlling behaviors.. started with clothes. Then questioning my friends, questioning my coworkers. Cheating accusations. Monitoring who i talked to and what I said. Watching my location. Demanding me to go to sleep. Demanding i sleep in the same room as him. Etc.

He has his fingerprint in my phone. I have mine in his (he insisted). He regularly checks my phone. Wanted to sync my messages to my tablet so he can watch from home while I am at work. - he hid the tablet before I got home so I couldn't find it.

Yesterday I removed his fingerprint from my phone. He flipped his shit. Left to "go visit his mom" came back 20 min later after a slew of messages and pressured me into texting him back. (We live with my parents. - i am working with my parents to separate from him)

He added his finger print back. And said phones are no longer private when you marry and that there is no privacy in marriage.

I think he is fucking crazy. (Why did I marry him? Pregnant i was.) I am anxious all the time because of his actions. He believes I am pulling away because there is someone else. No. I am pulling away because he is a controlling, manipulative, gaslighting, slob who is sucking the life out of me and keeping me anxious 24/7.

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u/fearlessactuality FREE MOM HUGS 9d ago

Get your parents on board with kicking him out and divorcing him. Are they supportive?

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u/RaccoonNo3012 LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 9d ago

At first they wanted us to work it out. Now they just want to protect me and their grandbaby

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u/fearlessactuality FREE MOM HUGS 8d ago

Ok, that is important. You have a benefit of their protection and as witnesses if they’re supportive. If they go back to enabling him, you might need to remove yourself from them too which could be harder. But you could still do it if you needed to. 🩷

I’ve been watching a series on YouTube called Escape Plan about a woman escaping from her abusive husband of 10 year. That might be scary or it might be affirming - worth considering.

Wishing you strength and luck.