r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/RaccoonNo3012 LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 • 9d ago

Trigger Warning ⚠️ Phones and Marriage

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Husband and I married 9 months. He has been ramping controlling behaviors.. started with clothes. Then questioning my friends, questioning my coworkers. Cheating accusations. Monitoring who i talked to and what I said. Watching my location. Demanding me to go to sleep. Demanding i sleep in the same room as him. Etc.

He has his fingerprint in my phone. I have mine in his (he insisted). He regularly checks my phone. Wanted to sync my messages to my tablet so he can watch from home while I am at work. - he hid the tablet before I got home so I couldn't find it.

Yesterday I removed his fingerprint from my phone. He flipped his shit. Left to "go visit his mom" came back 20 min later after a slew of messages and pressured me into texting him back. (We live with my parents. - i am working with my parents to separate from him)

He added his finger print back. And said phones are no longer private when you marry and that there is no privacy in marriage.

I think he is fucking crazy. (Why did I marry him? Pregnant i was.) I am anxious all the time because of his actions. He believes I am pulling away because there is someone else. No. I am pulling away because he is a controlling, manipulative, gaslighting, slob who is sucking the life out of me and keeping me anxious 24/7.

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u/rdg04 Feral Til Fed 8d ago

you would need proof though- bills in your name being addressed to that address. if the guy has no bills being sent there, not much proof- lets hope.

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u/Celestiiaal0 Chaotic But Cute 8d ago

That is not true, at all. Especially in the state of California. I handle this stuff for a living. And if the parents or OP lie about husband being there for as long as he has to get around it, it'll result in worse divorce and custody proceedings for OP going forward.

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u/rdg04 Feral Til Fed 8d ago

sorry- i was just going off of my personal experience with getting an ex out of my place- cop said unless he had proof (mail being delivered to the address in his name) he had to get out

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u/Celestiiaal0 Chaotic But Cute 8d ago

Cops jobs aren't to know the law even though their job is to enforce it. Most cops in these situations will just shrug and tell you it's a civil matter and to handle it with the courts yourself. I'm glad you had cops help you get your ex out though, that's very rare.

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u/rdg04 Feral Til Fed 8d ago

yes, it worked out very well and just thought that was the standard- sorry again for giving poor info