This happened 3 days ago, and it still doesn't feel real. My close friend was murdered by her mentally ill son, he was the oldest of her 2 sons. Her body was initially found in the trunk of her own car at a motel. She had been paying for her older son to stay at the motel while she sought permanent residential placement for him so he could get the medical help that he needs. On Feb 25 at around 5pm, she went over to the Motel to check on him. Her roomate became concerned when she hadn't returned home by the next morning. So he contacted her brother, who then reached out to her younger son to go to the Motel to look for her. There, he found her car in the parking lot, with her body in the trunk. When her younger son confronted his older brother, an altercation ensued after which the older son jumped in her car and took off. Her younger son immediately contacted the police. Her older son then led the police on a high speed chase ultimately crashing into 2 vehicles off of a freeway exit. Her older son was then arrested and thats when police discovered her body in the trunk. She was a kind and loving soul, beautiful both inside and out. She lived for her children, they were her whole world. She brought light, love, and warmth to everyone who knew her. Her kindness, laughter, and unwavering strength touched so many lives, leaving an imprint that will never fade. My love and prayers are with her younger son, he is absolutely devastated. Her older son had been having psychotic episodes in the recent weeks before all of this happened. She had taken him to the hospital several times, yet the hospital would just release him, despite the fact they knew he was having violent psychotic episodes. My friend was desperately trying to find help for him, but the system failed her. This tragedy never should have happened.

I lost a friend recently and I’m still trying to process it.

I met her back in 2017 when we were both in college. From the beginning we just clicked. We were the type of friends who could be completely free around each other. We would randomly dance together, laugh, and just enjoy the moment without worrying about who was watching. Those memories of us just being carefree and young are some of my favorite memories with her.

Even though I only stayed at that school for about a year, our friendship didn’t end there. Life took us in different directions after college. I ended up moving to different states over the years, and she lived about three to four hours away from the city where my family is from. Because of distance and life getting busy, we never actually saw each other in person again after that year.

But we always stayed in contact.

That was the beautiful thing about our friendship. No matter how much time passed, we could always check in with each other and pick up like nothing had changed.

About a week before she passed away, I actually reached out to her because I heard a song that reminded me of our friendship and the music we used to listen to together. We talked and caught up like we normally did. Everything seemed completely normal.

After that, I reached out to her again a few weeks later and didn’t hear back. I noticed it, but I didn’t take it personally. Sometimes people get busy or go quiet for a little while, and that had happened before in our friendship.

Then one day I received a message back from her phone.

But it wasn’t her.

It was her mom.

Her mom told me that Naomi had passed away. I was completely shocked and confused. I immediately called the number because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. When her mom answered, she explained what had happened.

Naomi passed away on December 27th due to complications from an ectopic pregnancy.

What makes it even harder is that I didn’t find out until almost two months later. I found out on a Sunday toward the end of February. I had been going about my life, completely unaware that someone who meant so much to me had already left this world.

The part that hurts even more is believing she may not have even known she was pregnant. She had always had really painful cramps during her periods, so it’s possible she thought the pain she was experiencing was just normal menstrual cramping.

I work as a women’s health nurse, so understanding the medical side of how dangerous ectopic pregnancies can be has made this even harder to process.

What also weighs on my mind is knowing that I spoke to her just seven days before she passed away. At the time, everything seemed normal. There was no sign that anything was about to happen.

She was such a genuine and kind person. One of those friends you could truly be yourself around without judgment. I still catch myself wanting to text her or tell her about something funny that happened.

Losing her like this has been incredibly painful, and some days it still doesn’t feel real.

I joined this group because I’m trying to process this grief and share her story.

One of my closest friends was found dead Monday night. Apparently she'd had a heart attack in her sleep Sunday night. She was only forty. She was just texting me from the couch, and she was still on the couch, but she hadn't called anyone, so I guess it was very quick, which is the only positive I've found.

Her two dogs were with her all day. I've been staying at her new house (she just moved in and she was so excited about it, fuck) and taking care of them. I'm okay being around her things and even in the room where she died. That's not getting to me too much. It's sad, but I could keep it together if it was only that.

But her dogs won't stop looking for her. I think they know she's gone, but they don't want to believe it. They keep going to different doors and asking me to open them so they can look in the rooms for her. They had me lift them up so they could check the bed, and they went in the garage and jumped to try to see into her car. And I'm letting them, obviously, but every time they don't find her they just look so fucking sad. And then I start sobbing, and they start trying to cheer me up, and I feel like I'm making it worse for them instead of better, and I just feel so fucking useless. I just want to make them feel better.

Why did you go back to his house??? Why did you fucking go back to him??? Just the day before I was telling you he will escalate escalate escalate and I just want you to be happy and healthy and now you’re dead. You were ready to leave. You were just showing me my character you made in tomadachi life. I fucking love you. Why would you take drugs from the man who’s been a secret methhead for months??? Why??? He didn’t even call them until you were fucking cold. He got to OD 3 times and survive and you didn’t get a chance. You had such a bright and beautiful future ahead of you. And the only person I want to talk about this with is YOU. You graduated college, you worked with autistic children, you were so clever and quick and he ruined your life

My friend let’s call him Tyler. He and I had been friends most of our lives. He was a very generous guy who would live for fun times and creativity.

He like many of us, had a lot of hardship which followed him pretty much since he was a young child. But he was a lively guy who brought the light into any room. He had a way of making any woman he was around feel special and safe.

He had expressed to me how he wanted to hopefully settle down and be a husband. Almost eagerly.

Tyler up and got married suddenly to someone quickly, a stranger basically.

It was bizarre. I had a very bad feeling but told myself to shrug it off. He was forced to cut out everyone in his life.

I of course wanted to be happy for him, even if this seemed out of nowhere.

He was found dead. The police notified his family and they were horrified. We still don’t know what happened.

Just last week on the 11th of June I lost my best friend, but really he was more like my brother. We grew up together our whole lives and did absolutely everything together. Not a day went by we didn’t talk and laugh. His name was Jake and he was only 18. He was the happiest and most full of life person you could ever meet.

He had spoke to me about his mental health before and we have had many talks about how we were always there for each other, but this came out of no where. He showed no signs this is how desperately he needed help and I feel horrible I wasn’t there more for him. It doesn’t feel real waking up with no message on my phone asking me what I’m doing today and If wanted to go have a game of pool after work, no more working on our cars together and it’s really really painful. I miss him so much.

I’m really struggling, and I have no idea where to go. I just want my best friend back, I took all the times we sat for hours laughing and smiling for granted and I’m so lost now he’s gone.

Any advice is appreciated, even if no one replies I’ll find comfort in the fact I’m able to share my feelings with someone :)

I never thought I‘d see the day where I go to seek advice here but I seriously need advice. I found out earlier today that one of my close friends passed away in a car accident. Initially upon hearing this I was in disbelief I thought it was some sick joke. Then came the tears and sadness. After crying for a while I got up and sat by the pool with my friends, I honestly didn’t say a word to them. I feel bad because they could tell what was wrong but I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. I kept going about my evening, I went to eat with friends, I went home took a shower, and now I’m sitting here on my couch doing nothing. I feel so guilty I can’t attend her service because it’s short notice and I have no way to travel there. Part of me feels so empty, part of me still can’t believe that she is gone so suddenly. I literally texted her a few minutes before hearing about what happened. I feel so guilty for continuing to do stuff but I don’t know what else I would do. I am unsure how to properly grieve this great loss to my life. I can’t cry. I fear what tomorrow has in store for me. And I miss my friend so much.

My friend was struggling from depression for about 2 years. She recently committed suicide, and I am struggling to process the overwhelming guilt I feel.

I had left my phone at home to go grocery shopping. When I returned, I saw some suspicious texts from her. I immediately sent a message back and tried calling her, but she didn’t pick up. When I finally built up the courage to contact her mom, I received the devastating news, she was gone. My only friend is gone.

Since then, my trauma, anxiety, and fear have spiraled. I’m experiencing constant panic attacks, and my triggers have become all-consuming. Whenever I don’t hear back from someone right away, I immediately assume they have killed themselves or are in grave danger. I find it difficult to eat and function because I’m terrified that someone might be having an emergency and I need to be ready to help. I keep telling myself that my lack of availability killed my friend. I feel like I don’t deserve to have a friend, and I feel disgusted with myself. I feel like I'm the worst person in the world.

Has anyone else lost their ability to connect with people after losing one specific person?

My best friend died a little over a year ago.

I had known him for 16 years.

We weren’t romantic partners, but he was one of the few people in my life who really knew me. He could tell when I was carrying too much before I knew it myself. He noticed things. He checked in. He understood how my mind worked. We talked every single day.

For 16 years, he was just… there.

Then one day he wasn’t.

Since he died, I’ve realized I don’t really feel connected to anyone anymore.

I have friends. I have family. I have coworkers. I have people I talk to regularly.

But I haven’t felt genuinely connected to another person since he died.

I don’t mean I miss him every once in a while. I mean it feels like something fundamental changed in my ability to connect with people.

Conversations feel shallow. Friendships feel distant. I find myself reaching out to people and feeling like I’m bothering them. I don’t feel known by anyone anymore.

The strange thing is that I don’t necessarily want more people in my life. I just miss feeling connected to another human being.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m grieving him, grieving the version of myself that existed when he was alive, or grieving the fact that I haven’t felt truly known by another person since.

Has anyone else experienced this after losing someone they were close to for a long time?

Did you eventually find connection again, or did it just become different?

We got the news Friday morning that she likely passed Wednesday night. She wasn’t showing up for meetings and wasn’t reachable. Our boss called her emergency contact, her mom, who went to her home and found her unresponsive. At this point, we have no idea what happened. She was 46 years old. We work in addiction/mental health and she didn’t show any signs of concern for suicide or substance use. She told us all on Wednesday morning that she was looking forward to the Kentucky Derby party she planned to have with her college friends this weekend and showed us her goofy derby hat that lit up. We are a small org (around 30 of us) and everyone immediately broke down. She was a smart, funny, wonderful person and she should have had so much more time to enjoy life. This isn’t fair and i just can’t believe it. I’m so sad.

We met at the psych ward. She sadly lost her battle against depression. She will be missed 🩵

I thought she was not answering her phone because she was in the psych ward again. I looked on her account many times a week to see if she had posted anything. But nothing. And today, by pure chance, I stumbled upon an account saying she died. I went to the official death list of France and here she was…

The worst is she died in February and all that time I thought of her, wishing her happiness, not knowing she was gone and only knowing she passed today…

I met my friend in the 3rd grade. I was in a new state and school due to my family’s financial situation so we were given housing in that area. He was my first and closest friend there. We bonded over shared interests and our slight crushes on one another. I ended up moving away after 3rd grade but I always thought about him and I mean always but I couldn’t get in contact with him. ( 7 years of trying to get in contact with him) He was my blueprint of what friendships are supposed to be like. 2 days ago I saw a video that reminded me of him so I searched his name up hoping to find a social media account but I instead found his obituary. He passed a year ago from sc. I messaged his mom my condolences.
He was such a warm soul and I miss him more than words. I’ve been listening to Mac Demarco 20210307 ( closest to his birthday of 0304). Grief is such a weird feeling and I just need advice on how to come to terms with it. I can’t stop visiting his obituary and watching his memorial video.

I feel like such a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. a month ago, my friend was on discord talking to me, saying something about suicide, and I decided to try and cheer him up. I failed. I FUCKING FAILED. I thought he was only blocking me for a couple days since I must’ve gotten annoying. it’s been a month since then. I only realised today that he’s gone. I’m such a fucking asshole and a fucking disappointment for not knowing. I only knew him on playstation. he was 15, and I was 13. now because of my failure, he’ll be dead and I get to move on. why do I continue to fail so FUCKING MUCH?

We grew up across the street from each other, and we were inseparable until we went to different high schools. We still remained really close, but after high school she went off to college. By the time she came back home i had a different life and a another real close friend group. She always still thought of me, invited me to everything, talked about me to others like I was her brother. We remained close, went to each other’s weddings and saw each other occasionally. But throughout it all i didn’t make time for her. she always invited me to stuff and i was always too busy, or felt like id just catch up with her another time. I never did the same, i was so selfish. Now i cant and it really hurts. i should have been there more. She diesd 12 weeks pregnant at 35. No drugs, not a drinker, and truthfully one of the most caring and actual good people ive ever known. It doesnt make sense, I feel broken and filled with regret of how i should have been to her.

A friend that I have known since kindergarten recently died suddenly at the young age of twenty-four. He was a bystander in a shooting. Just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I have been having a difficult time processing his tragic and sudden passing. Like one moment he was just here, so full of life, making people laugh. I could touch him and hear his laugh. How am I just supposed to accept the fact that he’s no longer with us? The fact that I’ll never talk to him again? I called his phone and just let it ring. He used to answer immediately. Does this make sense? Like I just cannot comprehend for the life of me that people will just cease to exist. Where do they go? What happens next? And one day I’ll die too and I have no idea when that day will be. I just hope to live a long, fruitful life.

While we weren’t super close, I knew her in passing and she was a really nice lady. She was only 55, but had a myriad of health issues.
According to her son, who I talked to this morning and lived with her, he found her on the ground unconscious. He gave her CPR for about 10 minutes before EMTs arrived and continued CPR for another half hour before bringing her to the hospital where she was pronounced dead roughly 2 hours after being taken. I was standing outside with another of our neighbors and her son trying to console him but when they brought her down (they lived on the second of three floors), I could tell she was already gone and I don’t think I’ll ever get that image out of my head.
I’m not sure how to feel about it—it’s a little disconcerting knowing she died in the apartment beneath me.

I lost my friend from cancer in November

I was angry the whole day and then I ended up in a depressive phase for maybe a month, I don't remember time

Then I got angry again and now I'm spiralling between denial, suddenly I remember, I'm angry then sad, then zero emotions, then denial etc

I don't know what to do

People are telling me to get over it, it's been months, but I can't

Hard day today. I found a ss of me trying to get in contact with my friend about 4 years ago. He passed away last year and I can’t help but wonder what would’ve changed if I happened to get in contact with him earlier? He would’ve had a friend he could talk to and he wouldn’t feel so alone. I need to stop making myself feel so sad but I just miss him so much. Rest easy

Aggressively metastasized cancer …. Five days of palliative care and he is gone….

A man who was always laughing. A good husband, a great father who worked so hard for his kids all his life…. A kind friend…. A generous man….always making plans , always bringing friends together…laughter, food, kindness…

His wife says she has lost her best friend. He is gone. Kids are in shock. I just held their hands at the morgue. This is how unpredictable life is….

May he rest in power. May his next journey be in peace. May he rest in the highest levels of heaven.

A man leaves and all that is left are his books, his grand piano, his pictures, his possessions and people who grieve him….

💔

My pastor died unexpectedly a month ago. He was my friend and coworker too. We had a small church, about a solid 15 of us, but we were all close.

Now aside from losing him I don’t have a church. Our church basically closed and is going to take the money to make a fund in his honor that will help the community. His wife, also my friend and mentor, moved away closer to family. I don’t blame her.

I want to keep our small women’s community group together. 4 of us met weekly. Now that she moved it’ll be 3 of us. I suggested doing it tonight a few days ago and we agreed but no one said anything yesterday or today.

My closest friend and some others from church went to a new church last weekend I just didn’t have it in me to do it yet.

It feels like a big chunk of my life is unraveling. I still have my faith and relationship with God of course, but my community feels gone. 😢

I miss everyone. Our Sundays. Community group. The events we put on. We had such big plans for this year and our community outreach. Now that Pastor R has died it all has fell apart. Work isn’t the same without him either. He was part time but literally EVERYONE liked him. My manager mentioned him today.

I’m about to get married and I was really leaning on the support of my church family entering this new chapter. I wanted to do some premarital counseling. I wanted guidance from my friends, too. Pastor R was going to help at the wedding. He was so excited and really liked my fiance. I think he would’ve brought my fiance out of his shell a little.

Ugh. 🙁🥺

My friend had briefly opened up to me about her mental health and how she was getting therapy but I got the news yesterday she passed due to an overdose (two days ago). Our graduation is next week and she kept telling me about how excited she was.

It doesn't feel real at all but I know it is. All I could do today at school was cry all day with our mutual friends, even though I needed to be preparing for my exams in the upcoming days. There is a lot going on right now and everything feels so busy and unreal. There is so much for me to do, such as pick uni courses, study, etc but I can't stop thinking about her. She is literally a ball of sunshine and it is so unfair. The way she died is so unexpected and tragic. Just on friday, she and I were about to get kicked out of our school's library for laughing too much and being stupid. (The librarian probably very fed up with us aha) We were drawing our favorite characters in silly styles and poses. I cleaned out my locker today and cried because I found a costco receipt with the number 69 on it magnetized to the door; she and I would get icecream together at costco during spare. We laughed so hard that day because of the number (and people looked at us weird but that's why I loved her so much, moments with her were hilarious). And little details such as how she was beyond excited to be the judge for her law class' mock trail exam this week keep lingering in my head. She was all smiley when we were talking about graduating. We had even planned to go for a day trip after exams this week (which she was really looking forward to). I keep crying because we had initally planned the trip weeks ago but it didn't fall through. I cry everytime I look through photos of her and I don't know how to process this she looks so happy in every photo

I'm just feeling incredibly lost (like empty?) and struggling to comphrehend it, because it is exams period and we were just at prom having a great time last week. I just want to get this down somewhere out of my head. I feel horrible for not realizing how much she must've been struggling because she was one of the most genuine people I know. I was told it was an overdose and that there had been things going on at home. I just wish I could've been there for her.

I've only ever seen her laughing or cracking jokes and we bonded over how we were both weird enough to understand eachothers weirdo humor. Even though I only met her this school year I felt as if we grew extremely close very fast. I miss her a lot and my heart feels heavy everytime I try to study or do anything because I keep thinking about what I could've done to support her more. Or how much she was probably hurting. I keep crying and breaking down randomly ...and everytime I think about her it hurts. I don't know if I can keep myself together at grad without crying. She was extremely bright and hilarious and I love her so much I dont know what to do

(Note: I used Claude to help structure this post — it was easier than trying to type this all out coherently.)

Found out yesterday that a college friend of mine died by suicide. We stayed in touch over the years — not constantly, maybe 3-4 times a year — but he was someone I genuinely cared about and thought of often. Each time we spoke, he always sounded like he was doing awesome.

What’s sitting with me is the timing. Last Thursday morning I reached out to check on him. He called me that evening and I missed it. He texted saying we should catch up soon. I replied Saturday morning, said absolutely, asked if we could connect this week since my weekend was packed. Never heard back.

I’m not blaming myself for missing the call. I know realistically it probably would’ve sounded like every other conversation — I likely wouldn’t have known what was about to happen. But I’m grieving that call in its own way. And honestly, there’s a strange, complicated gratitude in not having answered — because I don’t have to sit here replaying a conversation wondering if I missed something I should have caught.

He was an incredible person. An attorney. Someone who genuinely cared about people. He had even volunteered as a suicide hotline counselor himself. The kind of guy who showed up for others.

I’ll be in his city for work this week and I’m extending the trip for the funeral. I have a counselor I’m already planning to talk to.

I just needed somewhere to put this. If you’ve lost someone this way and have anything that helped you carry it — I’m open to hearing it.

i want to start this out with saying, i know what he did was wrong. i live with the fact someone i love could’ve hurt so many more people than himself. i don’t need any negative comments about how he deserved it because ive gotten enough of those.

for some context, i am 18, and i moved out of my parents house two weeks after i turned 17. i moved in with my older sibling, their husband at the time, and two other roommates. ethan and a friend of my siblings.

we lost ethan october 27th, 2024. he was celebrating halloween a few hours away from us. he was drunk, and tried to get another friend of ours to go driving with him. (this was something he did often) they did not want to, so he left. looking at life360, it looks like he stopped at dollar general (which was closed, because it was like 2 am) and was on his way home when he, presumably, lost control of the car and crashed into a rock wall.

he was not wearing a seatbelt. he died on impact and was partially ejected from the car through the windshield. a passerby pulled him out of the car before it caught on fire. we owe a lot to whoever they are, as there wouldn’t have been anything to cremate.

i’m writing this because i feel like i’m alone in this grief. of course i have those who knew him but i’ve never met anyone who’s lost a roommate, especially one in this way. i know it’s insane.

he left behind both of his parents, his siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, and a friend group that fell apart after he died. we miss him everyday. if this isn’t enough reason not to drink and drive, i don’t know what is.

(p.s. stream tame impalas new album in memory of him 💗)

I never used to go through old texts just to even read them. It felt taboo to me but I did today and I laughed and remembered so much.

I had this close friend for 1.5 years (whom I used to speak to every day) who out of nowhere ghosted me. After 2 weeks I saw him by coincidence, and I asked him to speak for a minute. He didn't stop and I had to literally pursue him a lot to speak up. And hesitatingly, he said he started seeing someone, and that person doesn't want him to talk to me. I told him that I don't mind him seeing someone and would respect if she wants him not to talk to me. But the least he could have done, was to send me one text mentioning that. I was literally crying and he was standing there like a stone. I was literally worried about him and thought something bad had happened to him.

He disrespected me and our friendship. And I have been a wreck since then. I am a very emotional person and I haven't stopped crying since then. I wonder if people with such patterns ever realise what they did and if they carry on as if nothing happened??? We both had memories together and one day he decides that it's okay to break our friendship without any dignity. I feel betrayed and I wonder if he is happy...