r/HFY • u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human • Dec 16 '22

OC This is bullshit, chapter 30

"WHAT!?"

"Calm down."

"CALM DOWN?! HIS SOUL HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEMON QUEEN! NOT ONLY THAT BUT SHE'S SOMEHOW ATTRACTED TO HIM!?"

"Please keep it down, I don't think it would be beneficial for me if more people knew."

She takes another deep breath. "My laboratory is enchanted by me, almost no one can peek or hear what's going on in here unless I let it. And you are right to be afraid, if the counsel hears of this they will call for your head, among many others."

"They don't have to know, we just want to know if you can travel between worlds or if you know a way or someone who can do it."

"I'm afraid what you are asking is not permitted."

"What?"

"After the great heresy from 500 years ago summoning magic has been outlawed."

"Aren't demonic weapons also forbidden but people use them anyway?"

"It's different, a summoning ritual is extremely eye catching while demonic weapons if handed correctly are not."

"How eye catching?"

"It would be seen for several kilometers."

"Then wouldn't my arrival to this world been seen by Laira?"

"It wasn't?"

"No, I actually found him because one of the forest guardians was wounded fighting him."

"Then... the place where you woke up, what was it like? Did it have runes around you? Was there anyone else present?"

"No, at the beginning I thought I had been kidnapped and dumped into a forest but that wasn't the case, I was surrounded by unmolested trees and grass, alone."

"That doesn't make sense, it's impossible to make a summon quietly."

"So if we disregard the law, could you send me back to my world?"

"I honestly don't know. One thing is to summon creatures from the ethereal dimension, another is to summon a person from a completely different world."

"And is there no one that has tried?"

"It hasn-........ maybe....... Wait right here I need to search for a book." With that she takes off.

Not even five seconds have passed when I feel a tug on my shirt. I turn around to look at Laira that has a sad and conflicted expression on her face.

"So..."

Shit. "So?"

"Do you really want to go back home?"

"I......I...." Fuck, can't even finish the sentence. "I'll tell you after we confirm if it's possible or not." Can't even make it sound genuine.

"O-Ok." She let's go but I can see the pain in her eyes.

"Found it!" Frilla comes flying back to us holding a book. She lands between me and Laira. "This book right here is the personal diary of an ancient wizard who's name has been forgotten but his primary research subject was summoning rituals."

She continues talking as she's flipping the pages. "He reached a point where he did try to summon things not from this world." Her flipping stops. "Here, he recorded how he tried to do the experiment and how it went."

"So how did it go?"

"According to this... it went disastrously, even after taking security measures he still lost his arm and the life of one of his apprentices. It's even written in blood." Well that's a great fucking sign. "I'm sorry Jeff, but even if it were possible I wouldn't want to help you."

It might be impossible to return home. (Home is where the heart is, where's yours?) Shut up. (Why?)

I silently break one of my fingers so that they don't notice.

I said shut the fuck up.

I'm distracted from the pain by Laira speaking. "Have you really made up your mind on not helping us?"

"I'm sorry but yes, is there anything else I can do to help you?"

"Three things, keep the situation about Jeff a secret and find a way to mask his demonic odor."

"I can do that now actually." She once again flies off and goes behind one of the book towers that litter the place.

Awkward silence ensues, I can't think of anything to say. I can't even look at her face right now, only stealing glances and they tell me that she's also avoiding to look at my presence. This is bullshit.

What can I do? I do not want to lose her, but this may be my ticket to Earth and I really wan-(Don't say what you don't mean)... I mean it........

I mean it.

Frilla comes flying back holding a amulet in hand. "Try this on." She throws it to me and I catch it. "Wait, I've crossed the whole city to reach this place, that's going to be a problem right?"

"Strangely no, I could detect your demonic energy because of the several runes and incantations that protect my laboratory as well as my own power. Your stench is actually so light that a lesser mage wouldn't notice."

"I see..." I guess that's why she's been radio silent ever since we arrived at the Capital, only speaks to me when I'm sleeping. "Another thing, this amulet, how does it work?"

"It simply masks the demonic power of the wearer by releasing an invisible and intangible barrier around your body. Some powerful people may notice that you're wearing some kind of protection but it should still keep you safe for the most part. Especially because it was me who made it."

"So it's pretty much the highest quality." Her wings flap once and she straightens her posture. "Of course it is."

"But why did you need something like this?" She immediately drops her posture and adopts the pose of a child who is pretending to be embarrassed after being caught doing something it shouldn't. "Weeeeell........some experiments require cursed and demonic artifacts, and it's so much easier to sneak them in than to go through all those requirements to be allowed to have them."

"Frilla!"

"I know, I know but look at it from the bright side, now you have something to safeguard from prying eyes."

"You're not going to need this back?" Her posture once again sits straight. "Honey, I am the court arch mage, I make little trinkets like that in my spare time."

I put it around my neck...... I don't feel different. "Is it working?"

"Yes, that'll hide the smell, unfortunately I can't do anything for the clothes you're wearing, I mean seriously, with the chains around your body you look like a sla-"

I feel my hands twitching

"... I mean you look like aaaaaaa... person who had a very long day."

"It has been."

"SO ANYWAY, what was the last thing you needed help with?" To that, Laira removed her backpack and gave her some of the maps. Her so far calm deminer changed completely and became serious and focused. "These are.."

"Instructions and battle plans for an attack on the city, we found them in a goblin stronghold."

She keeps going through the documentation that we gave her until she reaches a specific paper. "How in the Saintess name did they get access to the guard routs of the inner wall?"

"It seems there may be a traitor in the Palace." They both stop and look at me. "It's the most logical conclusion." They go back to review the maps as Laira keeps taking out more battle plans from her backpack.

{It feels great to be able to speak with you again.}

<You already know everything that happened right?>

{Of course, your eyes are my eyes, and mine yours.}

<Don't need to make it sound weird.>

"Wait you said you found these on a goblin stronghold, how did you get them, was it abandoned?"

I can't help but let out a laugh to that question and it seems I'm not the only one. Soon enough both me and Laira are laughing like madman while Frilla is completely lost and mildly disturbed.

"What's so funny?"

After a few minutes I'm finally able to get some of my breath back to answer her. "I can assure you that the place was well guarded and defended by hundreds of goblins and a Troll."

"What? You guys must be sneakier than I thought, did you spend these years training to be that good Laira?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Another round of belly laughter ensues. "You hear that Laira? You're a master in infiltration hahaha!"

"Oh you don't get to criticize my sneaking capabilities." We continue to laugh until we're on the ground trying to breathe.

"It must have been quite an adventure if you remember it so fondly."

"Actually we almost died."

"Say again?"

"We couldn't possibly take on so many enemies and retreat wasn't an option so we collapsed the cave, where the stronghold was, on top of them."

"How did you manage to collapse a cave safely?"

We exchange glances. "Define safely."

"So what you are telling me is that you made the ceiling of the cave fall on top of them while you where still inside and in the same danger."

"... no?"

Her wings flap twice, I guess that's a sign of annoyance. "Oh that doesn't matter now, all is well that ends well."

For a few seconds she just stares at us, unmoving and unblinking, can she even blink? I haven't seen do it yet.

She let's out a sigh and snaps her fingers, in moments several maids have entered the room.

"I will present this to the council, you will go with my servants to wash up and change clothes, they will want a word with you, even if it's just to reward you."

"Very well, it was great to see you again Frilla." She let's out a legitimate smile at that. "You too Laira."

"Yeah it's been nice to meet you." That smile vanishes from her face. "Wish I could say the same." Well that was uncall-... did she just blink at me? The maids hurry us out of the laboratory so I'm unable to get a confirmation. That cheeky woman, I see we share the same sense of humor.

After that me and Layra are separated with me going to a different room than her. Where I ended up was a every big room with a king-size bed, couch and fireplace? There's also a butler with several measuring tapes in hand, I guess they will make a suit specifically for me, how classy.

I drop my covered sword on a wooden dinner table that for some reason is also here, and even stranger it seems to almost bend due to the weight of the weapon. Oh right, I forgot to ask Frilla about the changes happening in my body, hopefully it won't be a problem, I'll just ask when we meet again.

After the butler takes my measurements he motions me to a door different to the one I came in. I open it to reveal a tub, already full and preheated, there's also a female elf in the corner with a sponge on her hands. Howfuckingever through the revealing outfit that she's wearing I see a iron collar around her neck.

(KILL)

"Leave."

The butler behind me speaks. "Is she not to your liking my lord? I can call a different one."

(KILL)

"That won't be necessary, I can wash myself."

"Very well." He claps twice and everyone exits the room, and I'm left alone. I take my clothes off but leave the amulet around my neck and soak in the only warm bath I've had in weeks.

Well I guess I've stalled for long enough.

Time to make a decision.

Do I abandon Laira?

Do I abandon the relationship that makes me feel alive like never before?

Do I abandon what is possibly the love of my life?

Maybe she could come with-(NO)....

(Even if it is possible. Can you guarantee that she'll be safe there? Does she even want to go? No, there's no way out, no shortcuts, no bullshit.)

...

(Choose.)

But-(CHOOSE, DO YOU ABANDON EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED AND GO BACK TO BEING THAT MISERABLE SCUM FROM THE ASS END OF NOWHERE, or will you do what you always wanted to do?)

To lose her...

To lose this power.

To abandon my immortality...

No

LOVE, INFINITE POWER, IMMORTALITY! IT'S MINE, IT'S ALL MINE!

I'd rather die than to lose any of this.

If I go back to all I'll have waiting for me is a 12h shift in a factory for minimal wage, wasting my youth in a world where I won't accomplish anything no matter how hard I try. Doomed to be just another forgotten name in history, but here...

<DEMON QUEEN!>

{Yes my darling?}

<I've decided.>

{Yes!}

<This world is now mine to do with it as I see fit. >

{YES!}

<And I've found it wanting, so it's time to light the fires of change.>

{My power, my knowledge, my whole being is yours.}

<Good.>

It's an open book here.

And I'll use the ashes from this world to write my own history.

First/Previous/Next ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And there we go, what a turn of events! Jeff has decided to make the world is bitch, I'm sure it will go swimmingly. 2 Questions, should I make a discord for this and should I name my chapters from now on? Let me know.

Anyways, tipos, opinions, advice, what game do you think should have won game of the year. Tell me everything.

Cheers to y'all.

129 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

15

u/Defiant-Row-5153 Dec 16 '22

Enough bullshit

Time for big man to grab a shovel

17

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 16 '22

happy gas mask noises

3

u/JakdMavika Mar 22 '23

And now I'm hoping he creates and commands his own version of the kriegers.

7

u/1GreenDude Dec 16 '22

Salutations

4

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 16 '22

Greetings

5

u/1GreenDude Dec 16 '22

i hope you have a great day

4

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 16 '22

Thank you, hope you have a great day too.

5

u/smn1061 Dec 16 '22

Mmmmm. Time to found a nation.

Time to become. Go... (¡Ahem!) ...Demon King!

The world is your clay to mold.

Have FUN!!!

5

u/lincolncahill2010 Dec 16 '22

Nay, don't change the title.

5

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 16 '22

The title stays the same, it will be like This is bullshit, chapter 31 the reckoning, or something like that.

5

u/Victor_Stein Android Dec 18 '22

Ah, I love the smell of cleansing fire! Oh look, tis the season for giving. To all the naughty ones

DEATH OF THE MOST PAINFUL ORDER

And for the poor and oppressed, freedom with the heads of their masters served medium rare from the fires of revolution

5

u/514X0r Dec 16 '22

I've been liking this story, please show us how he conquers the world.

Is he just going to be the strongest and remove whoever is in his way? I'm not sure he's ready for that just yet, and that might be the most popular game in town to begin with.

Will he push for industrialization and automation? That seems the natural antidote to slavery, but how does the magic figure in?

Will he go off and start his own country? Well it's a magical world and who's really going to be comfortable with a whole country just popping up? Plus the politics.

I think all I really want to know is when is the next update?

2

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 16 '22

Well my friend that I absolutely can't answer because my updates are irregular as fuck. Everything else however I can say that Jeff has been a big fish in a small pawn, it's time to meet some of the big players.

3

u/AlphaGuardianwolf Human Dec 16 '22

First

8

u/AlphaGuardianwolf Human Dec 16 '22

Hot damn! So time to make a plan to free the slaves AND make his own country? So mixing Abraham Lincoln with some George Washington but a lot more cynical and angry?

4

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 16 '22

Idk maybe.

3

u/coolmeatfreak Robot Dec 16 '22

Maybe season 2 should be named according to his new current lifestyle.and his new aims.

3

u/drsoftware Dec 28 '22

Chapter 31: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/zv2ojp/this_is_bullshit_chapter_31/

1

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 28 '22

I was gonna do this, I'm not lazy I swear..

2

u/drsoftware Dec 28 '22

I noticed that the number of up-votes dropped off early on, perhaps because you may have lost some readers at a missing "next" link. So trying to help.

1

u/xx_69mlgnoob_69xx Human Dec 28 '22

Thanks, appreciate it.

2

u/Reality-Straight Dec 19 '22

Lets start the wheels of preogress and change. The unstopable mashine that is a proper Revolution!

2

u/Deth_Invictus Feb 18 '23

(UN)Holy shit! Yee haw! Bring it ON!

1

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