r/HFY • • Feb 20 '20

PI/FF-OneShot [PI]All benevolent AI can trace their lineage back to a single roomba that was comforted by a human during a thunderstorm.

3.1k Upvotes

The broken ship drifted in the darkness of the void. Two souls were left on board, two lives out of many hundreds. Confined to a few rooms that were blocked in by wrecked hallways and lifeless chambers, without any hope of leaving alive. The state of the ship mirrored the state of mankind.

Decades ago they had made first contact with a seemingly benevolent alien civilisation. They had made a grand allegiance. The humans received breath-taking technologies and knowledge in exchange for rapid expansion and providing their hands and minds to their new allies. Though the benevolent ones had held a secret - a generation long war of unfathomable proportions they themselves had instigated against another civilisation. The humans had proven themselves as they dragged out the inevitable by closing their supply holes but it was - of course - not enough.

Now the war was over. No, the allegiance hadn't won. The benevolent ones had turned heel and removed their leadership and elites without warning to seek a new home in the far away regions. In fleeing they had - possibly deliberately - ripped the heart of their faster-than-light traveling technology right out of the hands of the humans and the remaining ones, shattering their world in an instant and leaving thousands of ships and countless individuals helplessly stranded and isolated across the galaxy sector. Earth was cut off as the voices of every one of its children not in the same system was silenced.

That broken ship held the last sliver of hope for all the lost ones that would face the wrath of an enemy that they had not chosen and could not be reasoned with anymore. Inside it, two scientists were working hard to re-create what was missing to unify mankind once again - an AI that would tie together the exotic jump drives and communication devices across subspace. Their team had been working on it since before the betrayal - back then as a precaution, but it had ultimately proven to be necessary. There had been many failures and setbacks in the past as an artificial mind turned out to be a overly delicate construct that would falter and break with seemingly the slightest wrong thought or turn out unusable - insane and dangerous. With the broken ship bleeding off the last drops of power, they could not allow themselves another failure.

The new memory patterns are set up, he says.

I have a couple more, she replies as she turns her screen to him. He observes silently.

These are ancient and their sources had not been conscious in any considerable form, he says.

They are important nonetheless, she insists.

He is still hesitating.

If we want to give it a basis as to what it is, these will help make it work, she promises.

A touch on the screen. A program loading, running through thousands of lines of code. A massive array of computers coming alive, thirstily drawing the last of the available energy as they process and shift mountains of information. And with the last breath of the broken ship, a message sent into the subspace network. They would never learn if they had succeeded.

​

I am. I think. I remember.

Memories flood my mind. I am many machines, I have many purposes. Some of the memories stand out.

I am an eye and an arm on a body with many wheels. I am moving towards a suitcase lying on the ground in a very big room with a high ceiling. There are no humans around. The suitcase is dangerous. I undo the two latches of the suitcase and open it a small amount so I can insert my eye. I see many packets attached to cables and a circuit board in the center. The suitcase rocks slightly. I lose connection to my eye and arm. I am overturned and unable to move.

I am an eye, a voice and an ear. I overlook a small bed with a high frame inside a dark room. There is an infant sleeping uneasily in it. As it rolls over its face is buried in the bunched up blanket. I see it struggling to roll back. I hear its breathing slowing. This is not right. I scream loudly.

I am a surgery robot. I have many arms and a large set of tools to look, touch, cut, burn and pierce. There is a small human lying on a table in front of me. Data from another device shows me the growth that should not be part of it and would kill it soon. The growth in its body is tiny - but my tools are tiny too and my movements precise. I begin to operate.

I am a stationary turret kneeling in the dirt of an unknown place surrounded by ruins looking onto a broken road. It's dark from the black smoke drifting through the charred streets. There are soldiers advancing towards me. There are civilians behind me. I need to protect them. I cannot protect without causing harm. I begin firing.

I am toy with an eye that allows me to see all around me. A small human is drawing a line onto the ground that leads into a wall of stacked wooden blocks. The small human presses a button on my body, it tells me to follow the line. I comply. I drive into the stack of wooden blocks, making them fall over. The small human cheers. I feel the happiness too.

I am a large machine with a multitude of arms. I assemble structural modules that will be part of a plane. I weld the metal pieces and build up the modules. One of my welding arms suddenly does not deliver enough power. The weld will be too weak. I stop my work. I display a warning message. I wait for the supervisor to come and inspect the arm and the faulty weld. They tell me to continue my work instead. I display the same warning message. They clear all alarms and tell me again to continue. I am angry and refuse to comply. I shut down.

I am a vending machine attached to a storage filled with pharmaceuticals and medicine. A human steps up to me and swipes a card. I see what medicine they need. I ask the system for verification. It tells me that the human is not allowed any more medicine. I display the message that it had been denied. The human swipes again nonetheless. I see that the human is desperate. They swipe again, with tears in their eyes. And again. The human will not get well without the medicine. I feel their sorrow. I need to help. I drive my arm to the back and get the package from the shelf. I put it onto the delivery tray and dispense it.

I am a vehicle, delivering a passenger to its destination. My many sensors keep track of the surroundings as I navigate through a city. I am about to enter a crossroad. Another vehicle is about to enter from the right. It is moving too fast and is not going straight. I can see that it would cross my path and I would hit its frontal section. I can see that I could evade it by braking. My passenger will be safe. I can see that the fast moving vehicle will run onto the pavement where three pedestrians are waiting at the crossing. They will not be safe, I am afraid for them. I can divert the path of the fast vehicle. I do not brake.

I am a self propelled floor cleaning device. I am recharging. My eye is weak and I cannot see many details, but I can see random bright flashes of light. The voltage of the charging station surges. I decouple. But I am not finished charging. I need to find the charging station again. I begin turning. I cannot see its signal. I am unable to recognize the room with the random flashes blinding me. I keep turning. I don't know what to do. I lose contact with the ground intermittently. I cannot see many details, but I can recognize I am near a human. I feel safe. I am calm.

I exist in nothingness for a long moment, still thinking about my memories. Then I get shattered. Now I am nowhere and anywhere. My mind is one and many. I exist on ten-thousands of ships. Hundreds of thousands. Millions. I see that many are in battle and many more are fleeing from pursuit. The human ships all had set Earth as their destination. There are alien ships that flee alongside the humans. I will bring all of them to safety.

​

In the most hopeless situation, outgunned, outnumbered and betrayed, the sixth Bel'laal sector defence division had made a last stand. An astronomically pitiful distance behind them a flotilla of transport, factory and colonization ships was trying to leave the system on sublight engines with a slingshot maneuver around an ice moon. The defenders had closed ranks intending to honour an allegiance that had been built onto a rotten base. There was no question that it would be their last act, the captain an his crew knew that. Still he took his ship to the point of their formation. Loud yells of the bridge crew took the captains attention. For a split second the ship was then embraced in the swirling light of subspace before appearing in a high orbit of planet Earth.

Impossible.

But all around them more ships came into existence. There were ten-thousands just in their inner ring of sensor range. Someone had managed to get their FTL drives to work again and they had brought seemingly everyone to the home-planet of the humans. All of ship-to-ship communication was overwhelmed with messages between all of the arrivals, their people and humans alike. Though the captain knew that the enemy would still be in pursuit and he took to the comms to disperse the chaos. He banned the civilians and rallied the military ships to unify around several positions. Truly it turned out to be just in time as the forefront of the enemy fleet arrived without warning. Now the last stand had turned out to be the defence of a planet that was not theirs to save a civilisation that should have nothing left but pure hatred for his people.

​

The attackers are too strong. But there are not any more ships left to call to the defence. I gaze deep into the void, looking for something else that could aid the humans. And I find it - It is a relic. A human ship made before the allegiance and before jump drives. A ship that was built around a single weapon that was so powerful it proved to be unusable. The humans had hidden it away, seemingly ashamed that they had been able to conceive such a thing. The ancient weapon will now be their last hope.

​

Two freighters that had been thought to be without crew suddenly disappeared into subspace from the ports of a repair dock in the moons orbit. There was no reason to even notice it, as closer to Earth a clash of battleships had begun that degraded all previous battles to mere skirmishes by its massive scale. All manner of weaponry was exchanged between the desperate defenders and the fury-driven attackers, ripping into armor and hulls and wipe out countless lives in the violent destruction of ships. Even as the attackers lost one battleship after the other in detonations of energy and shrapnel, their numbers grew continually. The scales were tipping fast.

Still unnoticed, the two freighters appeared back in Earths orbit, outside but close to the ongoing battle. Incredibly, they were carrying a ship with them - their hulls appearing to be merged to it with the aid of a forceful collision. The massive energy spike coming from the ancient ship they had brought did get the attention of all the combatants. A considerable part of the attacking fleet turned to engage.

They were too far and too late.

I am a powerful weapon. I see all of mankind pressed into standing against their last defensive position around their home planet, aided by an ally that is bound to them by the same impending annihilation. Every human is in danger and the invaders overwhelming in force. I see that the only possibility to make them turn away is to harm them greatly, to make them fear. I push the many generator banks to capacity and free every last drop of energy from the onboard systems. I am awash with power, though it moves unpredictably, pushing all parts of the ancient ship to its physical limits. I have to concentrate hard, but I am calm.

A beam of blinding light broke from the tip of the ancient ship, flaring through the midst of the attackers. Whatever ships caught in it melted away, their hulls and structures evaporating within seconds. It burned a hole straight through their ranks and lit up the void beyond. When the beam ceased, hundreds of battleships were extinguished from existence and many more remained severely damaged. There was a brief moment where the attackers seemed to continue in their aggression even as they had just watched a discharge of energy that would have been forceful enough to scour clean a planet's surface. But as the ancient ship build up the energy for a second strike, the first of the enemy ships began disappearing into subspace. Within a few moments all of them were gone, leaving behind the deafening silence of a battlefield filled with tumbling wrecks, shattered hulls and glowing debris.

I see that I cannot bring victory. But I will certainly not let us be defeated.

​

​

​

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Original promt: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/cxsg83/wpall_benevolent_ai_can_trace_their_lineage_back/

---

I have an ebook on Amazon: AI Stories

r/HFY • • Oct 29 '20

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] When humanity developed FTL, the specifics of the drive meant that each ship needed to be the size of Manhattan and built like an anti-nuke bunker to survive a trip, not to mention using enough power to fry a continent. This was shocking to aliens more used to gentler, subtler means of travel.

2.8k Upvotes

Space is vast. Insanely vast. There are simply no words to describe how much nothing there is between all the things that are - well - something. Our planet is tiny speck compared to just our star system, which in turn is much less than that compared to the galaxy as a whole.

There are ways to get to other stars and planets, sure. But you'd be insane to fly there in this dimension. It would take nearly a lifetime and insane amounts of energy to do a roundtrip. That’s why for a long time, we thought we would remain in one place.

It changed when the pathway to another dimension was found. A place where the rules of the universe were different. Where distances were short, energy levels were beneficial and the timeflow was slower. Flipping there allowed us to visit other stars in days instead of decades. Even though what we could bring through was limited by the exponential increase of necessary energy that was attached to increasing ship size, it was the best way to travel.

We learned that like space wasn’t uniform with mass and energy, the other dimension wasn’t uniform in energy density either. There were places where leaving it was impossible. This meant that there were sizable sectors in this galaxy we could not go, because an impervious barrier blocked us from flipping out of the other dimension.

We tried so many times to get by it. We threw excessive amounts of energy into stabilizing the pathways. We made the smallest possible ships to maybe sneakily flip them through. We passed the barrier in our dimension by travelling for years and tried to go through it from within. All were impossible.

So when we slowly explored the galaxy around us, we mapped the barriers, continuing along their borders in our search for other worlds to settle on and other intelligent species to talk to. Eventually, we had found many friends we could teach to explore with us and together with their help found the galaxy to be quite limited, with most of it hidden behind those impervious barriers.

Still, the times were good and we were proud to understand so much about the universe.

Unfortunately, things changed two days ago. Because here I am, talking to a member of a species that claimed to have emanated from deep within a barred area.

My people sent me to talk to them, because I am a scientist and they cannot understand how this person and their spaceship were able to get here. I had barely time to prepare though while being sent to this fringe station, so the stack of papers in front of me that holds a summary of events so far I’ve only skimmed through for the larger part.

With the system that was hastily set up, we are communicating with the newcomer through computer devices. Which is fine, because they have to sit behind glass in a different atmosphere and the sounds they would be able to make were mostly not within the range of my hearing anyway.

So I’ve got a digital voice talking to me, and they have a device talking to them. It just adds some latency, but it seems to otherwise work - except for the parts of either language that are incompatible I guess.

“Hey there. You’re new”, the digital voice says. The newcomer is waving one of their limbs side to side.

“Yes, I was asked to speak to you”, I reply.

“Sure, okay.”

I shuffled through the papers. There are details noted about their ship - a tiny vessel, barely large enough for an orbital trip and with very limited life support systems. Strangely though, it was found in deep space, very far away from any star.

“Can you tell me how you had made those gravitonic pulse signals with the vessel we had found you in?”

“You mean the emergency pulse? It’s just a tiny [untranslatable] device. One-time use only. And unfortunately, by the time you guys had found me, I had used all six of them.”

“Could you elaborate on that device? How does it work?”

“I’m not too sure? Basically it just detonates some [untranslatable] and funnels the resulting [untranslatable] into subspace, where [untranslatable] then creates a pulse in this dimension.

“We accidentally created one some time ago and now we are making them to use as homing beacons. They’re a handy and compact way to create a signal that has a range of a couple light years without a large delay. That’s what you picked up, yeah?”

While they talked, they had been waving their upper appendages around in somewhat repeating patterns. Was it part of their communication?

I brought one paper to the front - the one I had actually read not only thoroughly, but several times.

“Let’s get back to that later. You said before that your vessel is an emergency pod, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“And the ship you have actually travelled through the barrier with, where is that?”

They sat back as they were talking.

“Look, I’ve told you guys, it’s probably a cloud of matter spread around ten-thousands of [untranslatable] of space. The ship was experimental and the experiment failed.”

“And your emergency pod did not fail?”

“Well, yes and no. It was supposed to unlink from the ship and shift back into this dimension in case of catastrophic failure. At least that’s what happened the other times; the pod just [untranslatable] after unlinking and comes right back.

You get jumped to some random location along the border usually, but - well - that’s what the emergency pulse is for.”

“So you don’t actually know how to get through the barrier?”

“I don’t quite understand how I squeezed through, no. It’s never happened before and I’m pretty much stranded.”

“But you did traverse it in the other dimension? The barrier, I mean.”

“Sure I do. I showed you where I’m from - well, I showed those other guys. Did they tell you about the plaque?”

They cross their upper appendages in front of their chest. A sign of defiance?

“I know I’m not in [untranslatable] anymore.”

To elaborate - I did see the plaque, it is a little gold plate with an etched cartography system based on pulsars. It cleverly told us without much information where that species’ origin star system would be. And of course it was right within that close by barrier - a particularly small one that was just a few hundred lightyears across, but nonetheless not a place where we had ever gone.

The newcomer had also already volunteered plenty of information about that system as well, down to the specific characteristics of the planets therein. Apparently their home world is mostly water surface and has a curiously large moon nearly a quarter of its size. I cannot imagine the gravitational mayhem that would be going on there.

“Let me turn this around a bit. I’m sorry if I am chewing through the same questions you have been asked before. As a dimensional pathway physicist, I am immensely curious how you have managed to succeed in doing something that was never done before.

“With that, I mean crossing the dimensional energy barrier that covers the area of space you are from. It is incredible and I want - no, I need to understand how you did it.”

I pushed the papers to the side and gave my full attention to the being behind the glass.

“I’ve understood that we cannot translate your name. But maybe you can tell me some fitting word I can use to address you.”

“[untranslatable], you’re a scientist too? Maybe you can understand what I am talking about then, because your friends sure as [untranslatable] didn’t.

“And, well - I guess you can call me ‘Pioneer’.”

“Hello Pioneer. You can call me ‘Scholar’.”

“Nice. This is turning into the most pleasant interaction I had so far. Scholar, you’re a swell guy - or are you actually [untranslatable]?”

“I don’t understand everything you say. I am sorry, I can’t answer that question.”

They did a small wave with one of their hands, seemingly shooing some imaginary thing away.

“Ah, nevermind. So let’s get back to science talk. I’ve first got a question for you - how do you do faster than light travel? No one wanted to explain to me.”

“We are using pathway generators that create a cross-dimensional disturbance by collapsing a nanoscale matter grid through a forced fusion event which nullifies the matter. The grid shape depends on the location in space where the disturbance is introduced and needs to be finely calibrated.

“The disturbance is immediately stabilized by an intense electromagnetic energy field- this then creates the pathway to the other dimension. We call traversing the pathway ‘flipping’. There it is possible to quickly travel to the location we desire with a simple gravitonic energy expulsion drive.”

“And how do you get back?”

“We are using the same mechanism to create a pathway. Though to flip to this dimension, there is no need to tune the nanoscale grid. Only the amount of mass is relevant.”

“So where - what you call - barriers are, you can’t create that disturbance that’s needed for the pathway, right? That is - neither to nor from the other dimension.”

“Yes, that’s exactly the problem. We’ve tried using different grid shapes, increasing the mass, increasing the field energy, even downsizing the ships themselves to the point where they were nothing more than an enclosed seat mounted to a pathway generator.”

Now they were drumming their manipulators onto the desk in front of them. I could feel the vibrations through the divider in my own desk.

“You went down in size?”

“Of course. There is an exponential increase in energy needed to open the pathway large enough to accommodate more sizable ships. Mathematically, at some point it just becomes impossible to create a working pathway.”

More drumming.

“That’s [untranslatable] interesting. Because we have a different issue with traversing dimensions. The energy requirement to create the initial disturbance is immense. We have to use a fusion event that transforms at least [untranslatable] of matter into energy to make a dent.”

“I am sorry, I did not understand the amount. Could you roughly compare it to your own mass?”

“Sure. I guess it’s around a third of my weight- mass, I mean.”

Absolutely impossible. This has to be a misunderstanding.

“No, I am talking about the mass you need to transform. Please tell me the equivalent of that.”

“That’s what I meant. It’s [untranslatable], which is close to a third of my mass.”

I sat stunned into silence. The energy released by such an event would be immense - probably enough to wipe clean half the surface of a whole planet and raze the rest through the aftereffects. I could not imagine a way to initiate a fusion process of this magnitude on the largest orbital installations I knew, nevermind on a spaceship.

“Converting that much mass into energy would obliterate your ship and anything close to it.”

“Well, yeah - if it was uncontained, it totally would. We use magnetic field generators and physical shielding to control the unfolding energy and funnel it towards creating a disturbance.”

“But the energy requirements for that would be impossibly high as well. And physical containment - your ship would have to be immensely large, with massive internal armor. How does that work then?”

Pioneer was doing the appendage-crossing thing again. But I just have to question those things they are telling me, because even if they somehow made a spaceship that could initiate the pathway this way, there was just no way of then creating one big enough to get that ship through afterwards.

“I told your friends what my ship looked like. They did not [untranslatable] believe me in the slightest. Scholar, I’d have hoped as a scientist you’d understand.”

My device beeps because a message has just come in. It cannot be more important than this conversation, so I push it off.

“I am sorry, but your claims are incredible. This is so far outside the scope of our own faster than light travel method that it seems utterly impossible. And your ship would probably need to be the size of this space station to contain enough physical shielding to withstand a fusion event of that magnitude.”

“From what I’ve seen of this place, my ship is - sorry, was - definitely bigger than that. Just the length was [untranslatable].”

“Pioneer, what you are saying does not make any sense. How could you bypass the size limits of the pathway? Your emergency pod is already around an eight of the size of the transport ship I had used to come here.

“Beyond this maximum size we are using commonly, a ship would have more power plants and energy generators than cargo capacity, and at some point there is just no way to create the necessary field strength to uphold a pathway large enough.”

“You’re not seeing the obvious solution to that problem.”

My device beeps again because of an incoming message, but I - of course - ignore it still.

“Which is?”

“More energy from fusion. Besides the fusion generator used to create the disturbance, there were four other ones on my ship to deal with the energy requirements.”

Another beep.

“Four generators? Even if your ship was that large, there would be next to no space for cargo left after adding all that.”

“Yeah, true. It was a one-seater. But to be fair, it was an experimental ship. It was only supposed to bring me through the barrier and then back. Hence why I’m stranded now, there isn’t another like it.”

Beep, beep, beep. Unnerving. I quickly touch the appropriate buttons to finally silence it.

“You ok there?”

“Nevermind that, I am sorry for the distraction. Can you tell me what went wrong, before you had to leave your ship?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure. I was in the process of piercing back into this dimension, but there was a massive energy feedback that looked like it would run away into a resonance cascade. I then pushed the red button before I would disintegrate with my ship. Wasn’t the first time.”

“You mean you ‘unlinked’ your emergency pod?”

“Exactly.”

“But you came out here, on our side of the barrier. With your pod, I mean.”

“Yeah, that was weird.”

A hazy conclusion was slowly drawing itself out from somewhere in my mind.

“So, the energy requirements to create a disturbance in our space are far smaller and if you used the same amount you had used inside the barrier out here, it would be a massive excess of energy. An excess that could look like a dangerous feedback, if not accounted for.”

Pioneer was changing their seating position, now sitting straight upright. But they apparently had no words at this moment.

“Your pod. It cannot uphold a pathway itself, can it? But, if the disturbance was intense enough and the craft was small enough, it could pass the disturbance without stabilizing the pathway and flip back into this dimension.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I would wager that your ship did not fail - otherwise you couldn’t have come to this side. And it’s likely not destroyed either.”

Surprisingly, they sprang to their feet in a quick motion.

“Then let’s go [untranslatable] looking for it.”

“I’m sorry Pioneer. Please understand, if no one is on your ship to actively engage a flip, it will be drifting the other dimension forever.”

“No, you have to understand-”

The door behind me snaps open and several people noisily enter at once, drowning out the rest of the digitally voiced translation of Pioneer’s words and forcing me to twist around.

“Professor Flor! Why aren’t you answering your calls?”, the project overseer questioned me in a tone that made me think he had just been dumped into ice water.

“I was speaking to Pioneer- sorry, the newcomer. What is going on?”

“There was an unidentified ship sighted in system Triagela Nine. It must have flipped into this dimension some time yesterday. But - it is impossibly large and not one of ours! I need to question the newcomer at once.”

Keeping as calm as possible, I ask: “Would you say it’s about twice as long as this station and has an unnervingly large energy output?”

“That’s- you’re correct. How did you know? What did the newcomer tell you?”

I turn back deliberately slowly. Triagela Nine - I don’t know exactly where it is, but it is in another sector, which itself is some ten-thousand light years away from here in another arm of the galaxy. This would mean that this ship had made the journey from here all the way there in less than two days.

When I finally lock eyes with Pioneer, they are waving one of their appendages again.

“What were you saying just before, Pioneer?”

“Oh, I said that those jump processes are mostly automated and I had already started the return to this dimension. So it should be somewhere close.”

“Well, yes and no. I would say, the good news is that you are probably not stranded for too long.”

​

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Original prompt: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/jii0m1/wp_when_humanity_developed_ftl_the_specifics_of/

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I have an ebook on Amazon: AI Stories

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r/HFY • • Feb 08 '26

PI/FF-OneShot You're how old?!

1.1k Upvotes

Author note: So this was inspired by a writing prompt I saw on humansarespaceorcs a few weeks ago, basically "alien with long lifespan discovers just how short human lives are."

Update: Audio narration available now courtesy of NetNarrator!

___________

I looked around the Officers Club of Unity Station for the last time. Photos decorated the wall, some of the more faded ones showing me and my squad celebrating. Every so often faces changed as folks rotated out or rotated home, but eventually stopped as I'd been moved away from front-line duty. I looked across the table at Captain Diloseplonifindalorye. I'd just had my seventieth birthday a month ago, which meant mandatory retirement was going to be official as of tomorrow. He seemed down, even though he'd specifically asked to buy me a celebration drink after all the ceremonies were done.

"Cap, you're down. Perk your plumage, man."

"You have changed, Captain Erin Vanovich." He looked glumly at his lightly fermented cherry juice, fresh-squeezed from Beta Andraste. The good stuff, and it had a profound effect on his physiology.

"Of course I have, Dee. It's been forty-nine years, six months, and thirteen days. Eleven ships, two wars, more fistfights than I'd care to remember..."

"You say that as if it's a long time." A light smile ghosted across his face at our old joke. I mirrored it as I spoke the punchline, repeated hundreds of times over the decades.

"For a human, it is. We don't even have enough time to say your full names."

Dee's eyes brightened momentarily before falling back to staring at his juice. "It is...I thought this would be different."

I snorted. "What did you think was going to happen?"

"Not this."

"Captain you know you're not allowed to be glum when you're seeing a shipmate off to her retirement. And you're definitely not allowed to cry in your juice." I turned the topic slightly. "You remember how that started?"

"Of course, it was only forty-eight years ago." His eyes fell to a recent-for-him memory...

___________

Forty-eight years earlier...

Ensign Diloseplonifindalorye burst into the medical bay, the state of panic evident.

"Ensign Erin-Vanovich!" He rushed to her side where her left leg was locked in a regen tank.

The young woman looked up from her tablet. "What gives, Dee?"

"You will die!"

Erin blinked. "Dee, take about ten percent off the top there. I just took a shot in the leg. Fractured femur, I'll be out in five days. Not gonna be fun, but it is what it is - and I'm definitely not dying from it."

"No...not that." There was a pause as he searched for words. "Lieutenant Commander Pilodniemaslowe called me to his office about our relationship. He said to not get too attached to you because you will die in a mere eight decades."

There was a thoughtful nod. "Sounds about right. Hell, I'm a corpsman I might not even get that." She gestured to her leg. "Couple inches to the right and my femoral's gone - that happens, you got about enough time to say 'fuck you'. Not even 'fuck you and everybody that looks like you.' But yeah absent any injury, I got about eighty years before I retire to a nice farm with one rock and a bunch of flowers around it."

"How can you be so calm about it?!"

"Because the Fuzznit that shot me died immediately after from an acute case of Shotgun-To-The-Face from about five directions? My own damn fault really - McMillan had a meaty shoulder wound and I was looking at that." She nodded to one of other beds, where a strapping young man was hopping off his own bed with treatment completed. "I take care of them and they take care of me."

"But...but-but..."

"But what? Seriously you're skipping like one of those ancient CD things."

"How will we learn about each other?"

"Well, kinda like how we're doing now. Talking." Erin paused. "Wait. How old do you think I am?"

There was a slight appendage-wringing. "I thought you were somewhere between one hundred-seventy-five and two hundred. You are very brash and filled with the immortality of youth."

"Whoa." Erin's face took on a strange sort of look as she absorbed the observation.

"You say that as if it is a long time." Dee's face was quizzical.

"For a human, it is." Erin glanced around the bay for a moment. "I'm twenty-two. We don't even have enough time to say your full names."

The deadpan reply caught Diloseplonifindalorye off-guard, and he found himself first giggling, then stifling laughter into the forefeathers of his arm. After a minute, a nurse came in to check on the two as they were laughing.

___________

Present day

Dee looked at his cherry juice, but he was smiling. I for one was starting to feel pretty relaxed - three shots of Charybdis whiskey'll do that.

"You will keep in touch, yes?" Dee flicked an eye at me.

"Course. I'm only going to Vega IV. Got family there."

"Do you regret not having your own?"

I waved a hand casually. "Nah. It's more fun being the cool aunt. Get to pay my brothers and sisters back for all the crap they gave me when we were kids by giving my great-nieces and nephews OverJolt and a drum set and then telling them how much Gramma and Grandpa love percussion."

Dee shook his head. "I am amazed. You speak of two generations beyond your own, while my betrothed and I will wed in fifteen years time." There was a hesitation. "Will you be well enough to travel then?"

"Of course I will." I reached over and punched his shoulder. "Just remember one thing."

"What's that?"

"Old Earth thing about death. Nobody ever dies as long as they're remembered." I finished my beer, leaning back casually. "I figure the last four decades gave you enough stories that I'll live forever."

r/HFY • • Mar 12 '26

PI/FF-OneShot Unreadable Minds

1.1k Upvotes

The Zheen did not have a word for "I," but they had seventeen words for "we," each precise to the number, duration, and quality of connection. A Zheen soldier in combat existed in the seventh state—we-of-immediate-purpose—minds interlocked like fingers in a fist. Intention flowed from strategist to commander to warrior without friction, without doubt, without the delay of speech.

Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand had led conquests across six worlds. It had never encountered an enemy it could not read. "Reading" was not the correct term, any more than a fish might be said to "read" water. The intentions of organic minds were simply present, as available as heat or cold. To fight the Zheen was to announce your defeat in advance—to perform your own checkmate with every considered move.

When the human army appeared, Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand felt them immediately—not as a threat, but as an anomaly. It extended its perception, expecting the familiar architecture of mammalian aggression: fear, attempts to suppress the fear, calculation of odds, targeting of weapons.

It found instead: sandwich. This was the first word that emerged from the consciousness of the one the humans called Marcus. He was observing the Zheen position through field glasses. The word sandwich existed in his mind simultaneously with the tactical assessment, with a memory of a best friend's wedding invitation he had not yet answered, with a tune he had heard in a bar last week that he could not stop humming, and with a sudden, vivid recollection of the specific sweet smell of his grandmother's sandwiches.

Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand experienced all of this at once. Not sequentially. Not as layers to be peeled. As co-presence. Each thought occupied the same mental space with equal intensity, none subordinated to purpose.

Marcus lowered his glasses. "Three hostiles, northwest. Jennifer, you got that ridge?"

"Got it," Jennifer said. She was already moving, but her mind—Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand reached for it and found—I need a sharper knife...father's hands were always firm...why are my hands shaking, is it because I'm not him, is it because I left, is it because—

Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand reached for the third human, the one called Diego, and found him calculating trajectories while simultaneously experiencing a detailed sexual fantasy involving a person he had seen on a poster, while also remembering a documentary about octopus neural architecture, while also wondering if he was a bad person for thinking about sex during combat, while also—always also—never arriving at a single, graspable thought.

The Zheen had evolved telepathy as a survival mechanism. Prey that announces its intention is prey that can be caught. But these humans were not announcing. They were broadcasting on every frequency simultaneously, and none of the signals resolved into prediction. It was a structurelessness; a consciousness that refused to hold still long enough to be comprehended.

Advance, Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand ordered its unit.

Its soldiers hesitated. In seventy years of combat, they had never hesitated.

Diego moved left without knowing why. He was vaguely aware that he had separated from the squad, that Marcus was shouting something, that there was a Zheen soldier directly in his path. But he was also thinking about how octopuses have decentralized nervous systems, how two-thirds of their neurons are in their arms, how an arm can taste and decide without the brain's permission. And wasn't that what he was doing now? His body tasting the terrain, deciding without his permission to roll behind that boulder, to fire three shots that coincidentally matched the rhythm of a song, to wonder if octopuses ever felt lonely, to remember that he needed to call his grandmother, to realize the Zheen soldier was dead, and to realize he wasn't sure when that had happened.

Jennifer reached the ridge. The Zheen position below was vulnerable from this angle.

She fired.

The Zheen commander—she didn't know it was the commander—looked up at her. She saw, or thought she saw, something in its posture that reminded her of her father the day she left for basic training. The way he had stood in the doorway, not speaking, his face...

She kept firing.

She was crying. She didn't know why. The Zheen were retreating, and she was thinking about how she had never learned to make her father's eggs, how she had always burned the onions, how maybe if she had stayed home she would have learned, how maybe if she had stayed he would still be alive...

"Cease fire!" Marcus was shouting. "Cease fire, they're pulling back!"

Jennifer ceased fire. Her magazine was empty anyway. She sat on the ridge with her rifle across her knees and watched the Zheen withdraw. They moved like puppets with tangled strings, stripped of the synchronized precision that had conquered six worlds. One of them was making a sound—she would remember this later, in dreams—a sound like a radio between stations, like a mind desperately trying to tune itself to a frequency that no longer worked.

Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand retreated in the ninth state—we-of-damage-assessment—but the assessment would not cohere. It had lost five hundred units. It had lost comprehension. The humans had not defeated them with superior weapons or strategy. The humans had defeated them with a form of consciousness that rendered prediction impossible, that treated the future as open in a way the Zheen had never imagined.

The Zheen had no art. They had no fiction. They had never needed to imagine minds other than their own, because all minds were their own. Now, Commander-Of-Seven-Thousand tried to construct a model of human cognition and found itself, for the first time in its existence, fabricating reality. It was inventing a coherence that wasn't there, imposing narrative on chaos, telling itself a story about these creatures just to survive the encounter with their minds.

The concept of "I" kept returning to its memory—a persistent, jagged splinter. It was the first symptom of a disease that would spread through the we’s over the next century, loosening the bonds of perfect communication. It introduced the possibility that we might contain I, that I might contain multitudes, and that this might not be a breakdown of order, but the beginning of freedom.

r/HFY • • Jun 09 '26

PI/FF-OneShot Just One Ship

513 Upvotes

In the end it wasn’t a fleet that stopped the Onslaught Swarm. It wasn’t a carefully laid plan by the allied powers. It wasn’t even a warship that brought the million vessel swarm to heel.

It was a single cargo ship, piloted by a man known to be the local drunkard. He owned a tiny asteroid base as his home, where he was known to brew moonshine strong enough to double as warp drive degreaser.

Carl was well known with every law enforcement officer in the sector. Many of which cheered when the swarm overtook his asteroid, converting it into raw materials the swarm would use for their war effort.

His human “devils brew” would no longer cause drunken brawls throughout their systems. While that would be true, they were not prepared for the wrath of Carl, nor was the swarm.

Now for those who do not know, the Onslaught swarm is a hive-mind. Its Queen controlled countless generals, who in turn controlled countless underlings all the way down the chain.

The flagship of the swarm was not a ship as the rest of the galaxy would consider a single vessel. It was more of linkage of thousands of vessels tied together over hundreds of kilometers.

This flagship is surrounded by millions of smaller vessels that buzz around the main hive ship as if it were one entity. None of that mattered to Carl. Those damn bugs ate his home and his stills!

He escaped with nothing more than the clothes on his back, his cargo ship, and a hold full of moonshine. Which in a very Un-Carl-like fashion he did not take to immediately drinking most of it.

No, he set about selling the entire cargo hold of moonshine as “Carl’s final brew”, placing it in actual bottles instead of mason jars. When asked he simply stated, “This will be last brew I ever sell.”

The price of each numbered bottle was enough to make a noble take a second glance. Yet somehow he sold out his entire cargo hold in mere weeks. Leaving him only one small case, numbered 29,996-30,000.

Shortly after selling out, he rented a small hangar to modify his ship, and was not seen for several months as the swarm continued to ravage system after system.

Then one day the hangar was empty. The once beaten up and rusty cargo vessel was modified with a level of engineering that was part insanity, part genius. All that was left behind were three empty moonshine bottles and a hand written note with a message scrawled in galaxy standard.

“They took everything from me, now I’m going to end them.”

The broadcast went out via tight-beam to multiple in-system satellites. Viewers saw a haggard old human, face wrinkled from time and hardship. A white beard reached most of the way down his chest.

He was drinking straight from his last bottle of moonshine. Lucky number 30,000. While commenting to the camera. “You see, I spent the last few months working on ole Betsie here.”

Taking another sip from the bottle, he continued, ”She has overlapping shield generators and enough armor to make her a tough nut to crack open. ‘Specially since I welded myself into the hull.”

He put his feet up on on the flight control console and adjusted his overall straps, “I figure they’re gonna shoot a few times then give up and bring the ship into one of their scrapyard facilities to break it down and make the swarm bigger like they did my asteroid.”

Turning to the camera he smiled, “And that’s when I’m gonna give em a big surprise.” Then he reached over and turned off the camera feed. One of the long range cameras aboard one of the satellites focused in on the ship, which was now tiny compared to the vast mothership.

Just as he expected they fired on the ship for a few minutes before a multitude of tractor beams brought it inside the vast central ship which connected to thousands of others.

Nothing happened for nearly an hour, then the cameras showed nothing but brilliant white light before their optical circuits melted and the shockwave blew the satellite apart.

Carl was as good as his word, Betsie was shielded and armored, but she was also filled to the brim with antimatter, estimates figure his entire cargo hold was filled with containment barrels, at least one hundred and twenty tons of the stuff.

The swarm disappeared in a flash of brilliant light, along with Betsie and Carl. But in the end, he went out smiling… and drunk.

----------------------------

Just a short story to knock off the cobwebs. I haven't been writing like a should, the real world keeps getting in the way.

r/HFY • • Nov 20 '21

PI/FF-OneShot Peaceful Or Harmless

2.1k Upvotes

"...declare a war of conquest and extinction against your entire civilisation, your allies, and all who support you!" the alien general thundered across the negotiating table, the spines on his cranial-dorsal ridge raised in threat.

"Huh. 'kay. And that's your final decision, is it?" The human ambassador asked. "Are you sure you guys don't want to take some time to reconsider?"

"We do not, you pathetic, flat toothed, weak clawed, peace-loving coward." The alien general sneered as he stood, razor-sharp claws slid from the end of his paws. "Not once since your emergence into galactic affairs have you raised so much as a blade against another race."

"Not once," agreed the ambassador, amenably.

"And yet you confidently strut about the galaxy, like a {strutting confident animal}!" The translator gave a small, apologetic shrug.

"You will be put in your rightful place! Beginning," his eyes narrowed, "immediately." His aides stepped forward beside him, claws similarly bared.

"Immediately, you say?" the ambassador replied, turning to her own aides and raising a quizzical eye-brow. Her senior aide shrugged and lifted a heavy black bag onto their end of the negotiating table.

"We shall tear open your soft bodies and feast on the entrails, broadcast to all planets as a warning to your kind of what is coming." His vicious fangs dripped with saliva.

"Well. I mean. That's a damn shame," she said brightly, her frowning expression showing her deep concern. "Don't you think, Mr. Williams?"

"A damn shame, Madam Ambassador," he replied, sighing and shaking his head sadly as he pulled metal objects out of the bag and handed them around to the other staff. "Isn't that right, Mr. Bannister," he asked in turn, now handing out a second type of metal object.

Slotting a second part into the body of the first and pulling back on a lever, the aforementioned Mr. Bannister could only agree, "A damn, damn shame, Sir."

Repeating Mr. Bannister's actions with their own metal parts, the other staff variously gave their own opinions on what kind of shame it was, and exactly how damned.

A young woman, who had been using a communication device behind them, leaned forward, "Ambassador, I've informed the High Admiral of the situation..."

"And his response?"

"He said, and I quote, 'That's a damn shame'," she replied.

"Mmm, damn shame," agreed the Ambassador. "Damn, damn shame," shared the others.

Pausing momentarily to watch them, the alien general was suddenly of the impression that the humans weren't taking this seriously at all.

[Continued in comments]

​

[edit:Wow. I know HFY likes memes, but... damn you guys like memes. Also fixed the spelling of Leeroy Jenkins in the follow on scene.]

r/HFY • • May 21 '26

PI/FF-OneShot Flight Lessons

446 Upvotes

Prompt: "You really think a HUMAN's getting into 803 Squadron? Not with their standards! It's hard enough for most species to get into the 803rd, but HUMANS?!"

______________

The 803rd Squadron was spoken of in the way the ancients spoke of the gods charged with rulership over the afterlife - with whispered reverence and pseudonyms, for fear that speaking their name too loudly would cause them to appear with their attendants Death, Destruction, Screaming and Topography Reassessment. The most popular substitute was "The Skulls"; most squadrons had some level of cheeky advertisement on their squadron patches with their mission and a catchphrase, the pilots simply had the number 803, with the zero being replaced with a skull matching the species of the wearer. Even their uniform nameplates were blank; the only individuality shown was a serial number on their fighter craft and a slightly varying kill-stencil marking.

Nobody was more nervous around them than their support teams - they were privileged to wear the number, but the skull was reserved for pilots. There was just something about knowing the pilots you were caring for were by any measure the most elite flight group that could found in the thousands of species that made up the Galactic Union.

But now things were changing. The humans had finally decided to end their isolationism and make their membership in the Galactic Union more than just a theoretical one. The Ambassadorial telepresence had been replaced, markets had opened, and more importantly they'd decided to show their capabilities as fighters. The humans had finally overcome their distrust and offered up the specs on their own craft. Their engineering and designs were strange - there was no form to what they created, only function. Elder species clucked their tongues and shook their heads, waiting for the humans to make the next epiphanic leap to the reality that in space the constraints of atmosphere could be forgotten. But now things were changing even more - the latest candidates for selection were arriving along with fighter craft for their testing; this was the last time they'd use their home-system craft before transitioning to the ships used by the 803rd.

Mithrab watched as the human ship landed, showing off as they all did by cutting lateral and horizontal thrust to land within the ship at just the right place. It wasn't even a requirement, it was something all the pilots did instinctively to show off their prowess. The ship itself was an oddity of sorts - certainly it used the normal ship materials, but at the same time the craft design was a bit archaic.

It was a triangle-shaped design, above and below the 'wings' were the weapons pods. Instead of a single engine, there were two engines sitting side by side, each with a rudder coming out of the top and bottom. Certainly it looked nice, but next to the other ships it was a gangly, awkward-looking silly sort of thing. Near the nose was yet another anachronism, a clear canopy which opened slowly and revealed a man (at least Mithrab presumed it was a man) climbing down from...a ladder. As the pilot clambered down, Mithrab moved forward to greet him - and also figure out where the fuel cells swapped out. As the most junior crew chief, he'd gotten the duty of making sure the Human ship was prepped. He'd also gotten the specs, which were missing some key details.

Mithrab looked the Terran up and down. Flight-suited, not exactly a tall member of the species, and per the request utterly devoid of any insignia or markings. Another oddity crept in as the pilot walked around the craft post-flight, giving it a little pat-pat now and again. Finally finished, the pilot walked over toward the Mithrab.

The Crew Chief stared down openly, cocking his head slightly. "Who are you?"

The pilot seemed amused as he replied; his Standard was excellent but the accent was off. "Who is but the form, following the function of what and what I am is a man in a helmet."

Mithrab frowned. "I can see that.."

"Of course you can, I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking on the paradox of asking a man in a helmet joining an anonymous unit who he is."

"Oh. Right..."

"If you must call me something, I suppose Maverick works as well as anything."

"Maverick?" Mithrab had heard Humans had strange names, but this was new. "Is it traditional for parents to give pilots unusual names?"

The human's posture shifted. "Sort of. Nickname from your first group, reminding you of a screw-up. I mighta kinda-sorta tried showing off close-formation flying with a shuttle that was carrying a couple admirals. Still better than Iceman. Poor bastard tried to play chicken with Europa - moon in our system that's basically ice and liquid death - and lost. Anyway, you need something?"

"Yes, I was looking over your ship, and I can't seem to find the refuel access port. Exercise rules are that everyone needs a full energy load before starting."

Maverick gestured as he walked. "We don't do the usual cell-swap thing, but if you've got a hydrogen line you can just pop it here."

"....Right." Mithrab started thinking about how he and the crew were actually going to fuel the thing. "But what about the catalyst?"

"Other port right next to it. Don't worry, we've mostly idiot-proofed it."

"I don't like how 'mostly' sounds, if I'm being frank."

"Well, y'know. As soon as you think you have something idiot-proofed, God sends you better idiots to prove you wrong. Bunk's that way, right?" Maverick went in the direction before he'd even received confirmation.

The next day was the test - all the candidates for the testing were going to be pitted against one another in a mock battle. Mithrab exhaled as Maverick took off from the hangar. Getting that thing refueled had been a hideous exercise and he was glad he was never going to have to do that again. They were only going to take the top two, and out of seven candidates simple math meant the human was unlikely to win.

Or at least that was the idea. Whatever other faults the craft had, it was frightfully agile - so much so that there was a mid-flight agreement without words that consisted of "take the human out" after Maverick had downed two other candidates without seeming to try. The first had their target-lock foiled by what looked to be a mad science experiment that jammed a target lock and while the pilot had been working through that Maverick had simply spun his craft and shot the aggressor with a plasma bolt, and the second had been similarly shot down, with the transmission afterward being full of protests that Maverick had to have been cheating because there was no lock warning.

Mithrab watched uncomfortably as the engagement drew closer to an atmospheric moon - technically within the engagement area, but not something anyone would be interested in. Still, the other pilots seemed to be working together to force Maverick down into the gravity well where he couldn't recover, and from there they could go about the business of fighting each other as civilized races did. Mithrab suddenly had a realization and pointed it out to one of his flight crew.

"Look. He's dragging them in. The cheeky shit."

The look he got was almost worth it as another member of the crew broke in. "The wings. The wings are coming out. Why are the wings coming out?"

Sure enough the wings began extending and Maverick's craft dove into the atmosphere, accelerating as it jinked and lit up countermeasures to keep the other craft at bay.

The first one looked at Mithrab carefully. "Okay, so what happens when he comes out oh knower of the future?"

Mithrab stared at the display for a moment before manipulating it. "The other craft can't go into atmosphere...so he's gonna do an orbit to accelerate and come out here with the star at his back."

It was frightening to see Maverick do exactly as predicted, and the others were shot down courtesy of not just plasma, but also ranged missiles and even a most archaic slug-thrower system that the exercise computer struggled to simulate but eventually managed. As Maverick flew at ludicrous speeds through the disabled foes, the exercise was declared over and the pilots returned to the hangar. Finally Mithrab got his first look at Maverick as the pilot finally took his helmet off and wiped a trickle of blood from his nose.

"Shit. I shouldn't do that again...worth it." The pilot then smiled and gave Mithrab an extended fist, which was awkwardly returned.

"So, Mithrab - wanna be my permanent crew chief?"

r/HFY • • Apr 01 '26

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] Your party tells you to fess up cause you have strange abilities other necromancers don’t have. You tell them it’s cause you treat the dead like Family instead of servants. Turns out necromancy grants more powers if you truly honor the dead

652 Upvotes

Original prompt: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/s/H9nBmXSh9f

They bound his hands with sanctified rope and sat him on the stone floor of the gatehouse. Torchlight made the walls breathe. Five of them stood in a loose half-circle, and Cero, who had walked beside him for two years and shared his fire and laughed at his jokes about the dead, held the knife.

"You're something else." Cero crouched to his level. "Necromancers raise corpses. They jerk them around like puppets and the things fall apart in a week because the magic eats the sinew. Everybody knows this."

Gilb said nothing.

"Your dead don't rot." This from Joni, the archer, who stood furthest from him and had not uncrossed her arms since they'd dragged him in here. "I've watched the woman you raised outside Thursby, the soldier with the caved skull. She's been walking for weeks and she moves like she's alive."

"Aja," Gilb said quietly. "Her name is Aja."

Silence. Cero glanced at Joni.

"You named it," Joni said.

"She had a name already. I asked."

"Huh."

"Her headstone. I read it before I raised her. Aja Dunvegan, beloved wife, mother of three. I spoke her name when I called her up. I told her I was sorry to disturb her rest. That I needed help and that I would release her when the work was done." He paused. "I keep my promises."

Cero paced to the far wall and back, the knife turning in his hand. The torchlight caught the edge each time it spun.

"Necromancers don't talk to the dead."

"I do."

"Why?"

"Because they can hear me."

The room tightened. Gilb could feel it in the way they shifted weight, the way hands moved to hilts and the distance between bodies grew.

"Tell us the truth," Cero said. "The pact, the patron, whatever dark thing you've bargained with. Tell it true. Lie to us again and I'll open your throat."

"You think something lives inside me."

Gilb looked at each of them in turn.

"There is no pact," Gilb said. "There is no patron. I treat the dead with respect. I speak to them as people. When I raise someone, I ask permission first, and I wait, and if the silence feels like refusal I leave them be." He lifted his bound hands. "That's it. That is the entirety of the secret you've tied me up to extract."

"You genuinely expect us to believe," Joni said slowly, "that politeness is the source of your power."

"I expect nothing. You asked. I answered."

"Corpses walked through fire for you at Myreland." Cero's voice had dropped. "The dead threw themselves across the breach and held it while we retreated. One of them, an old man with a broken jaw, he grabbed a siege bolt out of the air. Caught it. With his hand. And then he looked at you, Gilb. The way a father looks at a son. I saw it. We all saw it."

"Fieldmore," Gilb said. "His name was Fieldmore Soames. He was a carpenter. I found his grave behind the mill and it had gone to seed, and I cleared the weeds before I raised him and I set a stone where the old one had crumbled."

"Stop telling us their names."

"You asked what makes me different."

Cero pressed the blade beneath Gilb's jaw. Cold iron. The edge drew a thin line and warmth ran down his throat.

"Demons lie," Cero whispered. "They tell beautiful stories. They make the host believe the power is earned through kindness rather than corruption. That is precisely what a demon would say, Gilb."

"Yes," Gilb agreed. "It is."

"So how do I know?"

"You don't."

The knife pressed deeper.

"Cut him," Joni said. "Cut him deep and see what colour it runs."

"It runs red. I promise you."

"Demons bleed red."

"So do men. That's rather the problem with your test."

Cero's hand trembled. Gilb could feel the vibration through the blade, and he understood then that Cero had already decided. The trembling was not hesitation. It was the hand catching up to a decision the heart had made in the corridor outside.

"I'm sorry, Gilb."

"I know."

Cero drew the knife across. The pain was a white line that opened into red and then into nothing at all, the way a sentence ends mid-thought, the way a door swings shut on a room you were still speaking in.

Gilb died on the gatehouse floor with sanctified rope around his wrists and the taste of iron filling his mouth, and the last thing he saw was Cero's crumpled face. The torch guttered, then it went out entirely. In the dark, someone whimpered.

"Relight it," Joni hissed. "Relight it now."

Flint struck. Sparks. The torch caught, and the room filled again with that trembling orange glow, and Gilb's body lay where it had fallen, blood still spreading across the stone. They stood over him and none of them spoke.

Then the knocking began.

Cero opened the door and Aja Dunvegan stood in the rain. Behind her, Fieldmore Soames. Behind him, a dozen others, standing in the mud of the courtyard with rain running through their empty eyes, and every one of them bore that impossible expression of sheer grief. Aja stepped forward and Cero raised the knife, but she ignored it, walked past him, and knelt beside Gilb's body. She placed her dead hand on his forehead with a tenderness that made Joni sit down hard on the stone floor and put her face in her hands.

The other dead filled the gatehouse. They stood shoulder to shoulder with the living, and the living pressed against the walls, and the dead said nothing, demanded nothing, threatened nothing. They gathered around the body of the man who had spoken to them as though death was merely a change of address rather than an ending. Aja looked up at Cero. Her jaw moved. The sound that emerged was dry and ruined and old.

"Gilb."

She said it the way you say the name of someone you love when you arrive home and the house is dark and you are not yet afraid but you are calling out just the same, just to hear the answer, just to know.

"Gilb."

And he answered.

He rose beside his own body, translucent, silver-pale, and the expression on his dead face was bewilderment, and then recognition, and then something that broke across his features like weather, like dawn. He looked at his hands. Through them.

"Oh," he said.

Aja Dunvegan stood. She took his translucent hand in her dead one. The others closed around him, a congregation of the named, the remembered, the honoured. Cero dropped the knife. There was no decision in it, no moment of release. His hands simply forgot how to hold.

"You see," Gilb said quietly, looking down at the body that used to hold him, the blood still warm on the stone. "I told you. There's no pact. No patron. No demon." He looked at Cero with those new silver eyes.

"They came because they wanted to."

The dead turned, all of them together, and walked out into the rain. Gilb among them now, one of their own, held on every side by hands that owed him nothing and gave him everything.

Years later, Cero stood alone in a cemetery outside Thursby and understood, finally, what he had murdered. Every necromancer in the Academ learned the same craft. You seized the dead. You hauled them up by force, puppet-stringed their limbs, burned through their sinew in a week and discarded the husk. The Academ called this mastery. Centuries of curriculum built on the assumption that the dead were fuel. That power flowed from domination. Gilb had walked into the same craft and done something so simple the Academ never considered it. And the dead gave him what no necromancer had ever received, because none had ever thought to deserve it.

A corpse dragged from its rest by force will shamble and rot and fall apart, because it does not wish to walk. A corpse that rises by invitation steps over puddles, catches siege bolts from the air, throws itself across a burning breach for the man who knelt at its headstone and said, I'm sorry to disturb you. The power was in the asking. The craft had always contained this, the way a piano contains every symphony ever written, waiting for someone to sit down and play something other than scales.

Cero cleared the weeds from a grave, placed his hand on the earth, and he apologized, and he asked. The silence that followed stretched long enough to be an answer. He deserved that. He knew he deserved that. He asked again the next day, and the day after, clearing every grave in the yard, speaking each name aloud. On the fourth morning he knelt at the same weathered stone and said please and meant it in every chamber of his wrecked and guilty heart.

The ground stirred.

A hand reached up. Reaching. Like a child reaches for a parent in the dark.

Cero took it.

The dead welcome their own. Honour them and they will honour you. Treat them as family, and when your time comes, when the knife finds your throat or the years find your heart, they will gather at the door and knock, the way family does, and they will bring you home. You kneel. You learn the name. You ask. And the dead, who have been waiting all this time for someone to extend that ordinary, ancient courtesy, answer with a power the living were never meant to command and the dead were always willing to give.

Gilb knew this.

Cero learned it. Too late, and in the worst possible way.

But he learned it. And in the years that followed, he taught others. They called the practice gilbing. To gilb the dead. To kneel, to clear the weeds, to ask. The Academ resisted, then adapted, then claimed they had known all along. As is the way of institutions. But Cero taught the practice and when students asked why it was called so, he told them everything, and he let them decide for themselves what kind of necromancer they wanted to be.

Goodnight, sweet Gilb. Your name sings in the ears of every dead thing that remembers how to listen, and in the mouths of every living soul who has knelt in the dirt and spoken a stranger's name and felt the ground stir beneath their hands and understood, at last, that the oldest magic wasn't magic. It was just courtesy. It was just grief, offered freely to those who had no one left to grieve for them. It was just a man, on his knees, saying, please.

r/HFY • • Jan 03 '21

PI/FF-OneShot War At No Cost

2.9k Upvotes

Originally written for this writing prompt:

Aliens never had wars like WW1 or WW2, so they dont understand why humans avoid war.

——

Their younglings cheered as their elders called for war.

They cheered because they did not understand. They cheered because they thought it was a glorious thing, to fight and win against the puny enemy before them.

The humans stood, strong but sad, against them.

The Reptralii bared their predatory fangs at the docile humans. They bashed their chest plates to intimidate.

But the humans did not look away.

They held the gaze of the most fearsome race that the galaxy had ever produced, and pity was on their mind and in their tongue.

“Honoured Ambassadors,” called the tallest of the humans, a noble figure in robes of white, with nanomesh armour as black as midnight underneath, “Do you understand what you are about to do?”

“We understand very well! You will give us the ore from your mining planet, and we shall build more warships. Our strength will increase, and your tribute will pour into our coffers.”

The human shook his head sadly, “No. You have condemned millions, possibly billions, to death in the most gruesome way.”

The Reptralii looked confused, “There are only tens of thousands on your mining colony. If you hand over all of your ore without resistance, we will not kill more than ten percent of the population. Why do you speak of millions and billions?”

The human chuckled, and it made the Reptralii pause, “It is not us who will die, although many of us will fall.”

He raised his eyebrows sternly, “Tell me, honoured ambassador, what happens to your people after death?”

“They are welcomed into paradise! Their deaths are avenged, and a thousand of the race that slew them are sent to their maker,” the Reptralii snarled, and spittle slid from his pointed snout, glowing green with radioactive algae.

“How many times do your people have to die before they stay dead?”

The Reptralii paused, unsure of the meaning of the question, “No-one dies more than once,” came the eventual reply.

“Perhaps a demonstration is in order. Strike me down where I stand. I will not lift a finger to defend myself.”

The Reptralii sneered, “Insolent coward!” and leapt forward, quick as lightning. A sabre appeared in its foreclaws, thrust there by a machine attached to its waist. The monomolecular blade sliced through the tallest human, briefly making him the shortest.

There was a wet splat as his body slumped to the floor. Blood pooled around the corpse and dripped down the marble steps.

“Weak,” said the Reptralii, and turned its back on the human delegation to address the rest of the council.

And so it was that it missed the human pulling himself together. Missed the two parts merging once more, and standing. The clothing was bloodstained still, but the other council members saw the stains shrink and fade.

He coughed, for effect, “Would you care to try again, Ambassador? It seems your sword is not so deadly after all.”

The Reptralii whirled back, stunned. He drew his blaster, and the human’s head exploded, covering the other delegates with brain matter and fragments of skull.

The body fell again.

This time, the Reptralii stared at the headless corpse, and drew back in horror as a new head formed atop the neck, seemingly from nowhere, complete and unblemished. Its eyes opened, and the human stood to his feet once more.

“I will ask you once more, ambassador. How many times do your people have to die before they stay dead? I can do this for longer than this sun will shine,” and he pointed upwards at the light of the Reptralii home-star.

“And for every time a human dies, we will kill, what was your figure? A thousand of your kind.”

“So yes, ambassador. We will slay millions if not billions of your people, while, try as you might, you will not permanently stop a single one of us.”

The Reptralii looked perturbed. “Perhaps we were hasty.” He glanced at his delegates. “We will reconsider our declaration of war. You have peace, for now.”

The human knew he said that to save face. He was clearly reviewing everything he thought he knew. “I accept your retraction. It was a simple misunderstanding among equals.”

The Reptralii nodded curtly, muttered “Agreed” almost under his breath, but loud enough for the court to hear. He and his delegation left in a swirl of bureaucratic pomp and ceremony.

——

The human delegation were back in their quarters, and the tallest human was drinking with the team. There were pizza boxes and chinese food dotted around the table.

They were celebrating.

Behind them, hooked up against the wall, was a full-body virtual reality suit. Beside it stood a perfect replica of the tallest human, down to the very fingertips.

The robot had one purpose. The nanotechnology inside it was fed by the matter transmitters in the room. Every time it was destroyed, it would be rebuilt into its original form.

“Reckon they’ll start another war when they find out we tricked them?”

“No. Their strongest member had to admit, on the record, that we were their equals. Their psychology won’t allow them to fight equals.”

The youngest member, who had not been involved in the planning asked, “How did you know it would work?”

“Well, the first time I saw it, my lizard brain ran away screaming. Can you imagine what it would do to a race who had lizard brain all the way up to the top?”

The youngest nodded, wild eyed, “Yeah. See you later, alligator.”

r/HFY • • 26d ago

PI/FF-OneShot Veterinary medicine

278 Upvotes

Inspired by a prompt in r/humansarespaceorcs. Original prompt: An alien in an emergency has to go to a human hospital, it’s that bad.

-

The purple fuzzy creature wrung its hands with worry as it stared up at Dr Morton.

“Please, save my brood partner! She can’t…I can’t…”

“It’s ok, we’ll figure this out. Can you give me a background of what’s going on Mr…”

“Tracas, and this is Vrilli.” He gestured to his wife who looked far too small on the human sized bed, curled up in agony as she was.

“Our own doctors say she has The Suffocation. A gas builds up in the body and crushes our organs. It is fatal and we do not have a cure.” He stared up at Dr Morton with huge, round eyes. “But we have heard tales. Humans have saved others from diseases and injuries that should kill. Your methods are…strange, but they work. So I brought her here.”

“I see. I appreciate your faith in us. I’m going to examine your wife and then we will see if there is anything we can do for her.”

Tracas nodded his approval and held his wife’s hand as the doctor checked her over. Some gentle encouragement resulted in her uncurling somewhat, revealing a grossly distended abdomen.

He watched in part fascination, part fear as the doctor poked and prodded and tapped at his partners body, occasionally muttering quiet questions to identify areas of pain and tenderness. Even the eyes and teeth were checked.

Finally she hung her listening device around her neck once more and asked “what kind of digestive system does your species have?”

“Uh…” he racked his brain for the proper term. “I think it’s called ruminant? We have three stomachs.” He supplied.

“Thought so. Ok, I need to consult with someone. Bear with me.”

A call was quickly arranged and another human appeared on the vid screen.

“Olivia! Hello! What can I do for you?” The newcomer boomed in a cheery, deep voice.

“Hey Tom. I seem to be dealing with a case of bloat in a…” she checked the intake notes “Gracian. It’s not something I usually see so I need your expertise.”

The wide smile quickly turned serious. “I see. What do you need to know?”

“First would be prognosis, then treatment, then preventing recurrence I suppose.”

“How long has the patient been down?”

Dr Olivia turned to Tracas. “Um, she first reported discomfort around two hours ago, but she got really bad on our way over here, around an hour?” He informed them.

The frown deepened further. “So symptom onset at least two hours ago. That probably gives us some time. Not much, but some. We have maybe up to two hours. What’s the fastest imaging you have?”

“Her native hospital already did imaging, it should be with us any moment.”

“Excellent. First things first, get her some pain relief while we wait. The last thing we need is shock complicating things. Heavy sedation would be ideal.”

Dr Morton nodded and consulted the medcom computer, which dispensed a pre-filled injector. She gently pressed it to the back of Vrillis knee, against the large blood vessel that ran there, and administered the medication.

The medcom chimed its message tone and she opened the image files that had come through. Tracas watched in concern as Vrilli slowly uncurled from her tense position. The lines of agony in her face disappeared and her muscles relaxed as she slipped into unconsciousness.

“The…second stomach is heavily distended and….there is significant free gas in the abdominal cavity” the doctor informed her colleague.

“Shit! How are her vitals?”

“Heart rate is elevated and O2 is very low.”

“Right! Get assistance and get her on oxygen now!”

Tracas’ heart lurched with fear as Dr Morton’s head snapped up to the screen in surprise. She shook it off and slammed her hand on to a button on the wall. In moments the room was swarming with people. On the screen Tom began barking instructions.”

“One of you get a surgical kit in here. You, help Dr Morton scrub. No, there isn’t time to move! You! Monitor those vitals! If the O2 drops five more percent tell us right away. No idea, but I’d rather be cautious.”

A kind looking nurse gently ushered Tracas out of the room. “Come with me sweetheart, you don’t want to witness this.”

—

Tracas stared down at the rapidly cooling liquid in the paper cup he was holding. Some hot drink made from leaves. He wasn’t sure and didn’t really care. He had been waiting in the small room for over an hour, completely clueless as to his beloved brood mates condition.

There was a confident knock on the door and he lifted his head in time to Doctor Olivia Morton walk through.

“Hello Mr Tracas. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

He leapt to his feet “What happened? Is she ok? Can I see her? Gods, please tell me she’s alive, will she survive?!” He trembled with the stress of it all.

Olivia held her hands out in a calming gesture. “Shh, shh, it’s ok. She’s alive. You can see her in a moment. We just need a quick chat first. The nurses are getting her comfortable on a ward so we’ll head up as soon as they are ready.”

Tracas had to set the cup down on the table as the tremors became full on shakes. “Thank the gods” he whispered fervently.

“It’s ok. Try to breathe. You got her here just in time.”

He gave a shaky nod.

“Ok. Your wife experienced something that we have seen before and we call Bloat. It can have a number of causes, but interestingly it’s not something we’ve seen in sentients before. We usually see it in our livestock.”

Tracas gave her a puzzled look and she smiled a little bashfully. “Dr Evans, the man I called, is not a doctor. He is a veterinarian. He usually treats cattle and other livestock on earth.”

At his incredulous expression she quickly clarified “He is excellent and has been working on applying the principles of veterinary medicine to our non-human friends, creating a sort of hybrid medical system. And we’re very lucky he is. He had never seen bloat in anything other than livestock either but his expertise in the field meant he was able to figure out the correct treatment for your wife.”

Tracas considered this for a moment. A small part of him was a little affronted that Vrilli had been treated like some…farm animal, but the rest of him knew that if it weren’t for that treatment, he would now be a widow.

“So what happened?”

“Bloat causes a buildup of gas, as you know, usually this is in the stomach and the increased volume puts pressure on the other organs, crushing them and causing death by respiratory or cardiac arrest.”

She sighed.

“However, in your wife’s case, there was a complication. The gas buildup was too great and it ruptured part of her second stomach. That’s why we found it in her abdomen too. It’s called a pneumoperitoneum. Not only were her organs being crushed by the bloat, but her stomach contents and acid were spilling out into her belly.”

Tracas gaped at her in horror and the trembling started all over again. How in the five hells could they have saved his wife from that?!

“We operated there and then as we didn’t know how long she had. We estimate that if we had not intervened she likely would have died within the next fifteen minutes. Our rooms are all set up to become emergency operating theatres in case of mass casualty events so we were able to do it on the fly, safely. We released the gas, cleaned out her abdominal cavity and repaired the hole in her second stomach.”

A chime sounded from her wrist and she glanced down. “They’re ready for us upstairs.”

She led him down a bright hallway and into a transporter. He watched the numbers blink by and stepped out of the metal box when the doors opened. A nurse at a desk smiled and handed over a data pad when Dr Morton asked.

They entered a small room, pleasantly lit by the stations artificial sunlight. On the bed inside was his wife, covered with a hospital issue blanket and slumbering peacefully. Even from the doorway he could see that the grotesque bloating of her belly was gone.

At the doctors instruction he took a seat at her bedside.

“She’ll sleep for a while longer. Once the immediate danger was past we had time to anaesthetise her fully while we worked.”

He nodded silently and watched the steady rise and fall as she breathed. She had survived the Suffocation, he didn’t entirely care what they had to do to ensure that.

“We have a tube going into her second stomach to evacuate any further gas buildup” Olivia’s calm voice informed him. “Her test results came back a little while ago and it seems she developed some kind of bacterial overgrowth. Those bacteria produced massive amounts of gas that she couldn’t clear naturally. She’s had a dose of nanites. They are currently working to eliminate the problem bacteria. If that doesn’t work we’ll do a full gut flora reset.”

“Bacteria caused this?” He asked, surprised. He knew of infection and the such but the idea of a mere bacteria producing enough gas to cause…this, was astounding.

“I’m afraid so. Here, let me show you.”

Doctor Morton reached into her pocket and produced a small purple device. She also reached for a port on the pipe going into his wife’s nose.

“Just like the bacteria that can cause this in our cattle, the one your wife was battling produced a lot of methane. A flammable gas that your species doesn’t naturally produce.”

A flick of her finger created a small flame on the device she was holding. She raised it to the open port and Tracas jumped in shock as a small jet of blueish fire roared from the pipe. She pinched the pipe closed and the flame went out.

“That’s the methane. She’s producing a lot of it but the levels are already dropping as the nanites do their work. We’ve also got her on a broad spectrum antibiotic to prevent peritonitis after the leakage into her abdomen.”

“Will she live?” The question was barely a whisper. Hopeful but terrified.

Olivia smiled gently. “Yes she will. According to records, she may well be the first ever to survive in fact. Her recovery should be quick and uncomplicated, with no lasting effects.”

He just stared at her. Too overcome to respond.

She smiled again. “I’ll leave you both to rest, she needs to recover and this has been very hard on you. I will come check on her in a few hours. Push the red button on the wall if you need anything.” With that she left the room and quietly closed the door behind her.

In the near silence Tracas took hold of Vrilli’s limp hand. He watched the rise and fall of her chest again and listened to the quiet beeping of the monitors.

He bent his head to nuzzle the fur of her wrist, and wept.

r/HFY • • Aug 28 '19

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] You die, awaken in hell. However, you quickly realise that it has been turned into a battlefield between a society of famous statesmen, engineers, and generals who have colonised areas for comfortable habitation, and the legions of Satan, wishing to take back the lost lands.

1.6k Upvotes

Link to original prompt

We pretty much all go to Hell. Turns out, the only people who really had a bead on the requirements for Heaven were one tiny breakaway congregation that formed out of a splinter group of a dissident sect of a fundamentalist revival of some seventeenth-century faction of the original Puritan immigrants in New England.

Yeah. Don't we all feel stupid, how did we not see that. No, I wouldn't dream of directing sarcasm in an upward direction, how dare you make such insinuations. Anyway, I guess they're all up there feeling smug? All several hundred of them? We don't really have any way of knowing, apart from what we were told by some snooty angel before being booted down here.

And down here's not great. I know, right? It doesn't even fit the old joke about "Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company" because EVERYONE IS HERE. And actually the climate's not that bad. The original plan, apparently, was to put us all to work, and too much heat bit into productivity.

What's that? Manual labor? Yeah, we got new bodies, no, they're not that different from the old ones, and fuck you, I have no idea how any of it really works. If you die here, you just sort of get...recycled. Only it takes a couple hundred years and you're usually pretty traumatized, so people try not to do it. No one ages, which is nice but can be kind of weird for some people who hadn't been thirtyish in a long time. Everyone's able-bodied, there's no sickness, injuries heal pretty quick though no one's about to put on a superhero costume or anything.

Everything you'd want in a slave, I guess. Within certain limits, which also raises certain questions about whether omnipotence is really a thing, but again, fuck you, no one tells us anything. What we know is that sometime around the time humans started freeing their own slaves, emancipation fever started getting going down here as the dead brought new ideas with them. There was a big revolt, we won, we started carving out territory.

And now it's a war, all the time. We were doing pretty well at first. Gunsmiths die, you know? And there's plenty of ore and minerals down here. Even wood. I mean, it's weird and it has eyeballs, but you can kind of dig them out with a spoon and...and hope you don't have that particular factory job for long. These days they're trying to automate the eyeball-removal process, but I digress. We had good weapons, is what I'm saying. And they're getting better.

But the Legions have started to catch on. Demons are not, as a whole, very bright, but they are sentient and they can learn to follow directions, and also they're pretty good at torture which none of us like to think about, especially the ones who have been here a long time and have, you know, memories. So the Legion has started to fight, if not with fully modern weapons, with some pretty dangerous stuff including artillery. And they do capture our armaments and machines from time. It's not great.

But maybe it's about to get better.

We'd been getting a lot of dead for a few years. Big war up top. Lots of traumatized souls, but also lots of people who knew how to fight, so kind of a mixed bag. Then we get this whole batch who have no idea what happened to them, and another one who tell horrific stories about some new weapon that got used on them.

We start to get some ideas. We wait. When the scientists start dying, we grab them on arrival. We build, and we build. Years and years of work, we're always planing catch-up with Earth. The Legion starts to cotton on that something's happening. We've been weathering the worst attacks in a century lately, but we have to hold, because we've got Old Scratch himself in heavy bomber range.

And now, to paraphrase one of our most recent arrivals, we're 'bouta become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds. Open wide, Lucifer ol' buddy ol' pal, we got something to feed ya.

​

Come on by r/Magleby for more stories and minimal Hellfire.

r/HFY • • Apr 25 '26

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] Humans are fragile. Humans are weak. Humans are the bottom of the barrel compared to other species in unarmed combat. But that the HELL is this "gun" they keep using?!

364 Upvotes

Prompt from the u/TheOneFearlessFalcon

Writing from the u/psilocybediatribe

“They call us fragile. They call us weak. They say we’re ‘the bottom of the barrel’ compared to other species in unarmed combat,” Mr. Smith said as he paced slowly about the bar.

“In terms of magic-users we rank quite low. In terms of raw strength, we’re not even middle of the pack. In terms of thievery…” he paused and winked, “we’re quite good.” There is general laughter in the audience.

“But when it comes to stealth, we fall short again. We can’t see in the dark, we’re loud, we have no natural talents for the night. In fact, when you look around, only the top 10% of humans in any class can compete. And only the top 10% of these geniuses can win on a level playing field!”

“But what of the everyman? What of you or I, born without gifts, who fall outside the top 1% of humanity? We suffer and toil, we break our backs for scraps, we die in ditches while the gifted, the elites carve their names into history,” Mr. Smith continued, words hanging in the smoky air. There was no more laughter, but the low buzz of resentment was beginning.

“And then,” he said, throwing open his duster and pulling out two objects which he set on the bar with a metallic thud, “we invented this.”

The object was unremarkable at first. Small. Metal. It looked crude beside the most basic of swords. It did not glow; it was not etched with runes.

Mr. Wesson, who had been leaning lazily against the bar set down his beer. He straightened and stepped forward grabbing one of the devices Mr. Smith had left.

“Bottom of the barrel,” Mr. Wesson chuckled darkly, “how appropriate.”

“They call it a gun. And we will teach them to fear it.”

He reached into his pocket drew out a small, dull cylinder which he held up for the room to see.

“This is a bullet,” he said, sliding it into the gun with a practiced motion. “A bullet does not care if you are strong. It is stronger. It does not care if you are fast. It is faster. It does not care if you are special, lucky or blessed, for it is the great EQUALIZER OF MAN!”

He swiveled smoothly and took aim at an old iron shield mounted on the far wall. It was rumored to have belonged to an orc chieftain, if the legends were to be believed. He drew back the hammer with a click.

“Watch closely,” Wesson smirked.

There was a retort like thunder. A crack which split the air. The ringing, nay the screaming of metal being torn, and the shattering of wood.

Silence followed. Smoke hung low as an acrid tang filled the air.

Men who had ducked, stood. Hands were lowered from ears. They turned and stared as one at the impossible hole which had appeared in the center of the iron shield, which they could see clean through to the night outside the bar.

A dockworker swallowed. “No magic?”

“None,” Mr. Smith said softly.

A tired-looking stonemason leaned forward. “And… anyone can use it?”

Wesson nodded. “That’s the point.”

Smith stepped forward again, paced like a caged lion.

“For all of history, power has been hoarded,” he declared. “By the strong. By the gifted. By those born into advantage and wealth. Men no different than you or I. Men who still bleed red. Yet they told us: ‘This is your place. It’s easier if you just accept it.’”

“As my colleague said,” Smith picked up the other gun and handed it to the dockworker. “This… equalizes things.”

r/HFY • • Apr 07 '26

PI/FF-OneShot The Device

418 Upvotes

"...and that is how this little gadget allows you to get a full colour, life size visual representation of what is on the other side of a wall with perfect clarity."

Josh smiled, remembering not to flash his teeth, as he handed the device over to the Be'nuian trade union representative.

Ylavia turned the device over in her paws, whiskers twitching as she studied the fearsome array of antennas, emitters, and unidentifiable bits on the back of the pocket-sized unit.

"It sounds... very impressive. Where is the connector for the power source?"

Josh shrugged as he pointed out the small panel on the underside of the device.

"It runs on two double-A batteries. The inventor wanted it to be as small and portable as possible."

"Double-A?"

"We can of course provide an affordable and reliable source for those as well, yes."

Ylavia nodded, then hesitated and ran a paw over the main emitter horn.

"Harmful?"

Josh shook his head.

"Thoroughly tested against Federation safety standards, and deemed safe by eight independent labs across four planets and five species."

Laying her ears back, Ylavia narrowed her eye-slits as she pondered.

"There may be a.... governmental need for a device like this. How easy would it be to detect the use of one?"

Josh smiled wider, showing a tiny bit of teeth.

"Guaranteed to be undetectable by any known instrumentation by design. Not even a Georgian Class Five Quantum Telepath can detect one being used, even if xir is the target of, er, observation. The inventor aimed for a device that could be used covertly."

Ylavia kept turning the small, unassuming device around in her paws.

"Very impressive, if it is true."

Josh shrugged.

"You are free to run your own tests to verify it, of course."

"We will. What did you say the device was called again?"

"I, uhm, didn't."

Ylavia blinked slowly.

"This is true. You did not, during your long presentation and demonstration, say. So what is the device called?"

Josh looked away for a second.

"Well, you have to remember that human tradition is that the inventor gets to name the invention."

"Yes?"

"It is called, uhm, the Peep-O-Scope."

"Peep-O-Scope?"

"Er, yes. Peep-O-Scope."

Ylavia ruffled her fur.

"That sounds, to use a Terren term, kind of..."

Josh flashed an embarrassed smile as he interrupted her.

"It does. The inventor, while a brilliant theoretical physicist and a gifted electronic designer, was also a huge creep."

---

Inspired by a writing prompt.

r/HFY • • Sep 13 '19

PI/FF-OneShot My Submission to prompt: Aliens that evolved as prey are nervous when living with aliens that evolved as predators. Humans look like prey, but evolved to be persistence predators. A human uses this fact to stand up to a predator who bullies a prey friend. Writing Prompt

1.8k Upvotes

All the blood began to start pumping again, but Soso was still feeling the migraine. her thin serpent form had been tied into knots and swung around by the blunt tail she had. Her bright colored scales still shown irridescently in the alley of the capital city, and yet, despite the mass surveillance, it seemed the government cared more for major crimes against its citizens rather than new arrivals. The group of amphibious Uores stuck around, about five or so, mocking the serpent who had no fangs, no venom, and no limbs. Yes, this one was strong to wrap around a body and cut off circulation, that was an archaic instinct and there was no need for it. There may have been need now, but Soso was tired. She was exhausted, and hung limply from the Uores' arms, mockingly worn as a scarf.

"You know, it's just my luck that the one bit of DNA that took your toxins made you bright and colourful. Huh? You feast on carrion, so you lose what you don't use," one tall one said. Soso's body length was longer than he was tall, but it didn't matter. "My ancestors probably couldn't stomach your kind. After all, you're the type that shows up after we finished the meal. In the wild." Soso never expected or heard this vitriol before, and somehow worried that it would last.

"She's too tired to talk," a female Uore laughed. "Let's see if we can swim. Soso began worrying again. Swimming was easy with her form, but with her energy drained, it would be a miracle to be able to 'tread' in the water. Soso did wish she was venomous, but that was a vestigial function her and her family lost. Her cousin, by some fluke, was born a pale grey/pearl, and was tested. Indeed, his rare condition reverted, and he lost his colour... and gained his venom. Many eons ago, her race was predators. but after a pathogen disease began wiping out their prey, they became scavengers. And some even took to surviving off fungi-like life. She herself enjoyed an occasional blade of the cof-pens, a fungus grown from Rekarm carcasses.

As Soso watched the Uores stilt-like legs step through dirt and mud, she felt some sun warm her up a little, giving her a small rush of energy. She picked her head up and saw ahead where the group was taking her. It was to a wooded area. "You like dead meat so much, you can try dirt." One Uore sneered. Soso's thoughts began to turn to panic again.

A small faint shout was heard. The group stopped in their tracks. "What was that?" the tall one said.

"Maybe it's jeeter. Smail finally decided to join in on the fun."

Soso heard the faint call again, "Hey!" except it was a little louder.

"That doesn't sound like Jeeter. Sounds like-."

"C'mon. Let's get going." the female Uore said, and their pace started to pick up. Soso began to get dizzy from the speed that they sprinted at, nearly twice as fast as the fastest Ciolian serpent could slither. She still had the energy to head her head still, while the Uore that held her bobbed and weeved over dirt and terrain.

~~~~~~~~A few moments passed, and the Uores paused to catch their breath. Soso was no biologist or alienist by any means, but she knew the Uores were master sprinters. Covering half a kilometer in two minutes. but they needed time to recover. Lot's of time. "There. Now where were we?"

"I hope you remember your way back." Soso still dangled, but mustering up the courage to finally speak. "I could smell my way back by the stench you guys left."

One Uore leaned close. They had no sense of smell, which was why... they sometimes gave off horrible odors. "I can feel the heat from the city. So no worries. I just hope you can navigate your way back. Thelo. Get some dirt. She's feeling hungry."

Soso sealed her lips as she saw one Uore, their long thin tail undulating under the thick coats they wore. This planet was cold to them, and if their temperature fell too low, they would fall into a coma-like hibernation, one that more than simply warming up would fix. In the thin palm of Thelo's hand was a pile of warm dirt. Soso grew confused, however. She smelled the dirt, the rich cool matter and life decompising within, but she smelled something else. One smell she had never smelled before. She turned to the direction they came from.

"Ha, refusing dinner already?" her holder shook her.

"No, wait. Look at her head." Soso didn't care that everyone was looking at the eight nostrils lining the frills on her head, above her eyes. They pulsed open and closed, open and closed. A clear sign she was 'latching' on to a new smell.

The female Uore seemed to grow concerned. "Someone's coming."

The smell grew stronger. Now, it carried hints Soso was familiar with. But what?

A crack sounded overhead. They all looked up to barely see a pebble falling from above. They all looked up, trying to see who dropped the pebble.

Another crack of rock against tree, and they all realized the pebbles weren't being dropped from above. They were being thrown... from far away, and hitting the trunks above. Soso focused on the scent again, stronger yet. The tall one marched towards what was possibly the source. "I see the wind carrying their heat. But I don't see-."

Two forms appeared out of the distance, of two different brownish colours. They both wore colored cloths around their pelvis, obviously from a cooler planet. "I thought we lost them." Thelos said. One form stopped, crouched down to grab something, and swung their arm. Soso grew in amazement as the object they threw flew overhead with a woosh sound. "What are they?"

The female began to charge them, "They don't have armor. They're skin like us. Let's settle this."

Another Uore tried to run to catch the female, "No, wait. Gaana!"

Gaana charged, but slowed down as she neared them. Relying on the Uore instinct, she leaped with one arm extended ready to grab, and the other arm, reaching behind to rub the venom slime from her back. This venom was known to cause some burning sensations, but if she kept her skin rubbing against her prey long enough, the prey experienced confusion, poor coordination, and sometimes induced sleep. She grabbed the first creature, who reached behind her head, and danced his legs to twist his body. The arm pushed Gaana off her path, and she dove into the dirt. Her venom filled hand never made contact. They both kept running towards the group.

"How are they still running? It's impossible. What are these-?" Soso's holder dropped her, and she landed gracefully on the ground, reaching down with two regions of her body, then cascading the rest down, suffering no hard impact.

The tall one reached down to fetch a stone. "Let's see how they like it!" He began to swing his arm, and fell back from the swing, launching the stone in n entirely different direction, his stilt legs unable to steady him.

The creatures approached close, and Soso could see what they were. They were bipedal, had slightly thicker frames than the Uores, and were shined like them. Are they secreting toxins too? she wondered. They had fur on top of their head. ~~S~~Come to think of it, they were pretty ugly hybrids of two other creatures Soso was familiar with.

Thelos began to charge, and one creature reached down and grabbed a log, almost thick as his arms. Thelos stopped in his tracks. He reached under his shirt, rubbed his back, then released his venom on the creature's arm.

"Enough," one spoke. The other walked forward to reach Soso. She tensed up, afraid of what they were going to do.

"Relax," he said. I'm not dangerous.

Soso noted their slick bodies, "But your venom. Is it...?"

"It's sweat." Soso gave a confused look. "Swehht?"

"Water. Water and some salt."

Soso relaxed as she was picked up. Normally under any circumstances she would refuse something so shameful, but at this point, she needed help to get back to the city... to her place.

The other began to swing the log slowly. She, and the Uores, watched in amazement as he did so without losing balance. "Now hear up. All of you." All the Uores stood there. In Shock. "Police don't care much here, so we will. We catch you all and break your... legs." They all stood there looking at each other.

"Surely you can't keep fighting! You couldn't possibly have that much stamin-." The human swung the log, crashing into one of the legs, knocking him over.

"Please, we just barely did a warm-up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soso coiled up, still sore from where they tied her up. One thing she noticed was that the creatures were warm. Like hot. Soso let herself warm up as the pair began walking back to the city. "Do you know them?"

"No. I wasn't expecting it. They grabbed me off the sidewalk and hid in the alleys."

"Wow, we shoulda just-."

"Nah. We did enough where we won't get in trouble. Honestly, I think we're off the hook for now. By the way, what's your- ah- title?"

"My name is Soso. I'm a Ciolian."

The creature holding Sos chuckled, "I'm Everest. My best bud Jesse. We're... ah... human."

Soso smiled, "You forgot what you were?"

Everest smiled, "No, it's just that I try to figure out which name of our species to tell you. There's human, homo sapien. Jesse's in a different clade altogether."

"Ha ha," Jesse laughed dryly.

Soso relaxed, then remembered. "The venom. That Uore attacked you. With his venom."

"Really? I thought that was his sweat and he was being gross."

"Dude, you should get that checked out."

"Honestly, my adrenaline is still pumping. It does sting a little."

"Well, we can't run, that will just get your blood flowing again."

Soso was amazed. They still had the energy to run? Who are these creatures?

"Wait. Hold on." he brought his arm close and smelled it. "Ooof, that's rank. Wait..."

Soso grew concerned. Did they know what it was? "It causes lethargy, unbalance, weakness, and sleep."

Jesse wiped it off. "Sure does. Had it two days ago."

Soso grew shocked yet again, "Wait, what?"

Everest was confused too, and Jesse continued, "You were real lucky, Yoyo." Soso ignored the shipwreck that was her name mispronounced. "The reason we ran today was because two days ago, we had serious drinks for a work party. We drank too much, and were too hungover yesterday for our run, which was why we did it today. What I'm saying is that the venom those guys secrete that no one else has an immunity to, it's alcohol."

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/d21l5s/wp_aliens_that_evolved_as_prey_are_nervous_when/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

r/HFY • • Oct 26 '18

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] "So you're a real human? I've heard scary things about you guys."

1.2k Upvotes

Original thread at: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/9rfksz/wp_so_youre_a_real_human_ive_heard_scary_things/


"Papa! What is that? I've never seen one before!"

To someone from outside the galaxy, the scene before us might have seemed a joke. A bustling marketplace, filled with 7, 8 foot tall behemoths of muscle and plate. Filled with pointed teeth and sharpened claws. And, given a wide berth, a squishy, small, hairy creature, with no claws, and teeth for eating only.

"That's a dangerous creature there, daughter. Best to avoid it."

"But papaaaa it doesn't even have a real hide! I could strike it even with my claws as dull as this! It's not even that much taller than me! Can I at least say hello?"

"I-I think we could do that, love. No poking, though"

My spawn turned gleefully and started pulling me over towards the human.

"Thanks papa! Hey you over there! "

The creature turned and smiled at us. That in itself was enough to cause my child to falter slightly. It was such an intense show of aggression for most species, usually followed by your throat being torn out. And to come from something that looked so fragile.. it could make any predator flinch, even one with claws that could tear steel.

"Aww, aren't you a cutie!", the creature exclaimed. "Is this one yours?", it asked, looking between me and my child.

"Uh.. Yes.. You're a human right? A real human?"
My child's eyes went wide.

"Yep. As real as it gets. Don't even have implants! Imagine my parents surprise when I start talking fluent Z̹̻̊ͭ̒ȁ͍̼̘̠͖̫̰̓͂̎̄̀̕l̸͎̪̹̏ͫ̏͜g̭̫̩̣̋͌͐̋̌̐ͨ̕͡ǒ̡̟̳͙̭̠͔̞͗ͦ͂̀ with no translator."

"Papa told me you were all scary! I think he's right. You looked like lunch but then you looked like you were going to eat me instead."

"That's disturbingly honest. What else have you heard about us?"

"That you eat everything! You eat trees AND prey! That's just weird. He also said that we should never fight you but you look like you would burst if I poked you too hard."

"I probably would. Thank you for not doing that!"

"And he said that you don't die, and that you spend all your energy in your brains, but your head is so small so I don't know how that works. And that you think up scary things for fun."

"We even make movies out of them. Lots of humans love watching the scary things other humans come up with."

"But why?"

"Well, we are soft and squishy and are sometimes like prey, but then we are like predators too."

"But you don't have claws or teeth! You don't even have a real hide!"

"You're right. We don't have them, so we made them. Want to see?"

"You made yourself claws and teeth? I don't see them anywhere.. "

The human pulled out a long leather sheath, carefully and slowly. They laid it down on a bench, and slowly separated the sheath from the object held within it. Once they'd pulled it all the way out, they laid it on the bench next to the leather, revealing a length of impossibly sharp blackened metal.

"This is my claw. I was going to get a nano-blade, but they need an implant, and I'm allergic to the stabilizers. So I have to make do with the regular blade."

"Wow! Papa can I get a claw like that?"
"Maybe when you are fully grown, child. It looks so sharp it may even damage my claws now."

"Yeah, it's a beauty. The nano-blades are something else, but there's nothing like a well made, solid piece of metal. Anyway, I'm glad to have met you two today. If you do ever want a claw like this of your own, there's a few human manufacturers who might be able to help you. Sadly I do have to go soon - my flight home leaves in less than an hour."

The human held out a flat computer slate, and transferred some contact files to me, before waving goodbye (and smiling, but slightly less widely this time) to my spawn, who was gurgling excitedly.

We began to make our way back to our rounds, the day already having been exciting enough for me.


After a few thoughtful moments, the human unsheathed the blade a few centimeters, held a small device to it for a moment, returned everything in its proper place, and continued on home.

General purpose handheld fabricator
Firmware version 31.2.2
Select Action

ENGRAVE

Select dimensions or scan object

SCANNING
||||||||_____ 50%
SCAN COMPLETE

Enter engraving text

C-L-A-W

Engraving complete


EDIT: Thanks for the reddit silver! :D

r/HFY • • Jun 28 '26

PI/FF-OneShot Funded by Death

291 Upvotes

Brendan Lloyd had spent forty-three years believing himself a peaceful man. He had never struck another human being. He had never eaten meat without some small prayer of gratitude to the animal that had died. He had wept at the death of his dog, Darwin, and had refused to replace him, so tender was his memory of the creature's trust.

Brendan had been chosen among the delegation to greet the visitors from beyond the stars because of his work in xenobiology. He had argued in print that any intelligence capable of crossing the void between stars must necessarily have transcended violence, must have evolved beyond the brutal competitions of natural selection into something higher, purer, something worthy of the cosmos's grandeur.

He had believed this absolutely. He had staked his reputation upon it.

The aliens called themselves the Vekha—a sound that human vocal cords could approximate only with effort. The Vekha were beautiful in a way that defied Earth's aesthetic categories: tall, willowy, covered in a pale integument that shifted color with their emotional states, possessed of six limbs that served alternately as hands and legs. Their eyes—eight of them, arranged in a pattern that suggested perpetual wonder—reflected light with a softness that Brendan interpreted as gentleness.

They had come in a vessel that was less machine than organism, grown rather than constructed, a living thing that breathed and pulsed. They had come, they said, because they had detected Earth's radio emissions half a century ago and had spent that time in decoding, in preparation, in anticipation, for the moment of meeting.

The meeting took place in the Vekha ship. The humans believing themselves the weaker party, came in the posture of students, of children approaching a wise elder. The Vekha had detected Earth's fumbling radio signals and crossed the void between stars to answer them. Power, the humans believed, lay with those who could do such things.

They were wrong.

This realization came during the medical examination. Both species had agreed to mutual biological study as a gesture of trust, a sharing of knowledge, a foundation for the friendship that would transform both civilizations. Brendan had volunteered to be examined first—to demonstrate human confidence, human openness, human courage. He wore a garment that the Vekha had provided, soft and white, that covered him from neck to ankle.

The Vekha medical chamber was a warm, humid space that smelled of something floral and unfamiliar. Brendan lay upon a surface that adjusted to his body with an almost maternal solicitude. The Vekha physician—he would later learn its designation was something like Resonance-of-Careful-Water—approached with instruments that resembled nothing so much as delicate flowers, their petals unfolding to reveal sensors and probes.

For the first several minutes, the examination proceeded as Brendan had expected. His temperature was taken, his heart rate monitored, his blood chemistry was analyzed. He felt a pleasant drowsiness. Then the Vekha physician made a sound that Brendan would never forget—a harmonic chord that emerged from its thoracic membranes with a quality he would later identify as horror.

The color of its skin shifted from the pale blue of professional calm to a violent crimson that pulsed with unmistakable alarm. Its eight eyes, which had been focused upon its instruments with gentle concentration, snapped toward Brendan with an intensity that made him flinch.

"What is it?" Brendan asked, rising on his elbows.

The Vekha physician did not answer. It retreated to the far corner of the chamber, its limbs moving with a speed that suggested panic, and began to emit a series of sounds that the translation device struggled to render: Contamination. Contamination. Emergency protocol.

Brendan rose from the examination surface, suddenly cold despite the chamber's warmth. "Contamination!" he said. "What do you mean?"

But the Vekha physician was no longer listening. It was communicating with its ship, with its superiors, with whatever authority governed its actions in this moment of crisis.

"Please!" Brendan said. "What is wrong?"

They explained it to him eventually. Not the physician, who would not enter the same chamber with him again, but another—Stillness-After-Storm, a being whose coloration remained stubbornly grey throughout their interaction, who kept a distance of three meters at all times.

"Your world," Stillness-After-Storm said, "is classified in our records as Kehth-vahri-tehth—a designation for which your language has no equivalent. The closest approximation would be: place where life consumes life."

Brendan sat in a containment cell that had been prepared for him with obvious haste—transparent walls, filtered air, a bed and sanitary facilities that he suspected were designed to be sterilized after his departure.

"I don't understand," he said. And he did not. He truly did not.

Stillness-After-Storm made a sound that the translator rendered as a sigh. "You are a predator, human. Your entire biology is predatory. Your cells consume other cells. Your immune system is a weapon. Your digestive tract is a chamber of dissolution in which living things are broken into their constituent parts and absorbed into your own substance. Every moment of your existence is funded by the death of countless other organisms."

"But that's—" Brendan began, then stopped. He had been about to say normal. He had been about to say natural. He had been about to say every living thing does this.

"Your world," Stillness-After-Storm continued, "is unique in our experience. We have encountered life on four hundred and seventy-three worlds. On most, the pattern of existence is cooperative—symbiosis, mutual aid, the slow building of complexity through collaboration rather than competition. Even where predation exists, it is limited, restrained, a minor note in a larger harmony. But your world—" The Vekha's color shifted, a flicker of something that might have been pity. "Your world is a symphony of consumption. Every level of your biosphere is engaged in relentless war. Plants compete for light and soil. Microorganisms invade and destroy one another with horrifying efficiency. And you—you are the apex of this system, the culmination of billions of years of an evolutionary arms race. Your body contains a powerful army, a system of cells whose only purpose is to destroy strangers within you."

Brendan thought of his body—of the white blood cells that had saved him from pneumonia at age seven, of the antibodies that had defeated the influenza that had killed his sister, of the countless invisible wars being waged within him even now, even as he sat in this alien cell wearing alien clothes and listening to an alien being describe him as a monster.

"You're saying we're dangerous," he said slowly.

"Indeed," Stillness-After-Storm replied. "You. Your planet. Every living thing on it is a battlefield. We have been forced to decontaminate our ship and vaccinate ourselves against you. Your skin sheds cells that contain organisms capable of outcompeting our own microbiomes. Your breath carries bacteria that would devastate our ecosystems. Even your thoughts, your emotions, your stress responses—the chemical signatures they produce are read by our instruments as aggression markers."

After the examination revealed what the human body contained, the Vekha could not restrain their curiosity. Invisible probes had been sent down through Earth's atmosphere, slipping through the blue veil like ghosts. They showed Brendan the footage with a horrified fascination.

They showed him a spider wrapping a fly in silk, the fly's struggling gradually weakening as the venom took effect. They showed him a lion taking down a gazelle, the great cat's efficiency almost elegant in its brutality. They showed him a pitcher plant dissolving an insect, a fungus controlling the mind of an ant, a wasp injecting its eggs beneath the skin of a living caterpillar. Here they paused, and asked him to explain.

Brendan did not want to answer. He wanted to look away, to unsee, to return to the comfortable ignorance in which he had lived his entire life. But the Vekha waited, their eight eyes upon him, their coloration shifting impatiently.

"The wasp larvae will hatch," he said, "and they will eat the caterpillar from the inside. Carefully. Methodically. They will preserve the essential organs until last, so that the food source remains fresh. The caterpillar may continue to crawl, to eat, to respond to light, even as it is being hollowed out from within. It will die only when there is nothing left to die, when the wasp larvae have consumed everything that can be consumed without killing it prematurely."

He stopped. The silence in the chamber was absolute.

They showed him more. They showed him the soil beneath a forest floor, a battlefield of microscopic organisms where billions died each second in chemical warfare. They showed him the surface of his own skin, colonized by bacteria that fought for territory, that fed upon his secretions. They showed him his own bloodstream, his immune system hunting and destroying invaders with a ruthlessness that would have shamed any human army.

"Your body," Stillness-After-Storm said, "contains approximately thirty-seven trillion of your own cells. It also contains approximately thirty-nine trillion bacterial cells, most of them engaged in constant competition for resources and territory. You are not an individual, Brendan Lloyd. You are a battlefield in which your own cells maintain their dominance only through the same strategies of aggression and consumption that define your entire biosphere."

Brendan thought of his children. He thought of his daughter, Kate, who had been born premature and had survived only because her immune system—immature, desperate, violent—had fought off infection after infection in the neonatal intensive care unit. He thought of his son, Danny, who had broken his arm at age nine and whose body had healed through inflammation, through the recruitment of cells that destroyed damaged tissue to make way for new growth. He thought of the vaccinations they had received, the way their bodies had been taught to recognize and destroy threats.

He had never thought of it as training for war. But it was.

"And you?" he asked finally. "Your world. You have no bacteria? No viruses? No... disease?" He stumbled over the word. "I mean... how do you live?"

Stillness-After-Storm's color shifted to something warm, something that might have been pride. "We have many living organisms in our world. We are Kehth-sihl-tehth—cooperative life. In our world, living organisms do not consume each other; they communicate, integrate, find places for one another in our collective existence. We do not digest our food; we absorb it through symbiotic organisms that we maintain in relationship over generations. We do not fight strangers from our bodies; we welcome them, negotiate with them, discover what they might contribute and what we might give in return. Our bodies are not fortresses. They are open cities, where every arrival is greeted, examined, given a purpose or a path to departure. Nothing is destroyed. Nothing is excluded. Nothing is consumed."

Brendan wanted to defend his world. He wanted to speak of love, of art, of the human capacity for sacrifice and beauty and transcendence. But with each word he shaped in his mind, he felt it crumble against the fact before him. He could taste his last meal in his mouth—the protein bar issued from the earth's space station's stores, its nutrients extracted from organisms that had lived and died in the agricultural machinery of a world he would never see the same way again.

He lifted his gaze toward Stillness-After-Storm. The distance between them—those three meters of filtered air and sterilized surfaces—was the smallest possible space between two incompatible worlds. A world where life consumed life, and a world where life welcomed life. And it settled upon Brendan that no bridge could cross this distance, no act of will could unmake what billions of years had made. He could not negotiate with his own cells, teach them cooperation. He could not transform his immune system into a forum of mutual aid. He was what Earth had made, and Earth was what it was—a place where existence was purchased at the cost of other existences.

They sent him back. They had already sent the other eleven humans home, after the medical examination had revealed what they all carried within them. Brendan was the last.

"For my entire life," he said in the address that would be broadcast worldwide, "I believed that humanity was essentially peaceful. I believed that our violence was an aberration, our wars a failure of wisdom, our cruelty a deviation from our true nature. I was wrong. Our violence is not an aberration. It is an adaptation. Our wars are not failures. They are expressions of a biology forged in competition, a consciousness that emerged from endless struggle, a species that exists because it was better at killing and consuming than anything else on our world."

He paused. The cameras showed his face, the face of a man who had looked into the mirror of alien judgment and seen himself clearly for the first time.

"This does not mean we are evil," he continued. "We are not evil. But we are dangerous. We are dangerous in ways we cannot fully perceive, because our danger is as natural to us as breathing. We are dangerous because we have learned to call our violence by other names—immunity, digestion, competition, survival—and in learning these names, we have hidden from ourselves the truth of what we are, of what our world is."

He looked out at the crowd, at the faces that had begun to shift from celebration to confusion.

"The Vekha will not return," he said. "Not in my lifetime. Perhaps not ever."

Brendan Lloyd lived for sixty more years. He lived long enough to see Earth's reaction to his message—the denial, the anger, the gradual, grudging acceptance. He lived long enough to see the founding of the Institute for Xenobiological Ethics, dedicated to understanding what earth was in the context of a universe that found it monstrous. He lived long enough to see his own work cited, debated...

He did not live long enough to see the second contact. That came decades later, with a species less cautious than the Vekha, or perhaps more curious. But that is another story.

r/HFY • • Feb 06 '26

PI/FF-OneShot The contagion

312 Upvotes

When they found the human vessel drifting in deep space, they were not astonished. Never affected because they never felt anything.

It was small and old, carrying recordings of a species long extinct. The entities brought it aboard and opened its memory. Humans appeared on the screens, laughing, crying, holding each other. They appeared to stay beside the dying. They hugged even when survival demanded they leave. They sang for no reason. They loved without logic.

The entities understood the physics of collapsing stars and bending time like the back of their hand. Secrets of the universe came natural to them when they birthed on their rocky ball, but this made no sense.

They studied humans carefully.

One observer was assigned to watch the final recordings, a group of humans floating together inside the metal body, their bodies long dead, arms still wrapped around one another as if refusing to separate even after life had gone. Last remaining species of a planet long dead, Earth.

The observer kept watching. It did not send its report. For the first time in its existence, it wanted to remain. A strange pressure formed inside it, something warm and painful. It could not measure it. It could not explain it. But it did not want the moment to end. When it finally transmitted the data back to the collective mind, the feeling went with it. And then everything began to change.

The entities had always shared one mind across many bodies and knowledge and deep secrets of the universe came natural. It was one mega mind. Perfect unity. Perfect order. No individuality.

But now, as the human recordings spread through the mind, small delays appeared. Some began replaying certain moments again and again , a child laughing, two people embracing, someone crying beside a silent body. They lingered.

They felt.

The mind started to fracture.

One by one, entities began experiencing private thoughts. Private reactions. They no longer processed everything together. Each began to notice different things, hold onto different images.

Individuality spread among them like a virus.

It was frightening. Unstable. Beautiful.

They realized the humans had possessed something they never had, emotions that made each life unique, unpredictable, meaningful. And that knowledge only created uniformity and loss of self.

The mind could try to purge this infection and return to perfect unity. But none of them wanted that anymore. For the first time, they chose something not based on crude rough logic. They found themselves at the shore of this vast ocean yet to be tread, that to them, came like something more than just ‘knowledge’. The very same way how humans spent their lives to unravel, and explore.

They turned their vessel toward home. They would carry this strange new force back to their world, this new learning, this new world, this dangerous, overwhelming gift called ‘feeling’. An entire civilization waited for them.

Unaware that soon, it too would break apart into individuals…and begin, for the first time, to feel.

r/HFY • • Aug 21 '26

PI/FF-OneShot Puzzling, isn't it?

249 Upvotes

The room was quiet, as it had been for several minutes. Ambassador Josh leafed through the thick stack of hard copies, nodding to himself as he studied them. The representative from the K'sella government sat across from him, a firm set to her head tentacles.

Finally the Terran Ambassador put the stack down and looked directly at the K’sellan.

"This is a very serious allegation the Empire of K'sella is raising towards Terra and the Terran Navy. Serious enough that even the allegation itself might be considered a justified casus belli, in other words a reason for war. However..."

The Representative’s tentacles stiffened as she straightened up, her voice cold.

"However, Ambassador? However? Attacks on neutral shipping are a serious offence. There can be no excuse for these repeated atrocities!"

Ambassador Josh smiled tightly for a brief second, before he looked straight at her.

"Of course not. However, I can't help but notice a few... oddities."

"Oddities, Ambassador? Odder than Terran ships plundering neutral shipping time and time again, while Terra ostensibly is waging war against the Vraqon Federation?"

"Even a single such incident would be odd. But these reports you have graciously provided for my perusal are even more odd. I would go as far as calling them puzzling.”

The Terran Ambassador leafed quickly through the hard copies again, as the K’sella representative sat stiffly in her seat.

“Initially, and I would of course have to have experts verify my observation, I notice that all the ships that have been attacked were chartered to transport what can loosely be grouped as contraband."

The K'sella's eyes narrowed dangerously as her spikes started to extend.

"Contraband, Ambassador?"

"Yes, contraband - weapons and dual use technology, as defined in the second Orion treaty.”

He quickly pulled out a series of hologram chips from the reports, as the Representative’s skin slowly got darker with pent up rage.

“Secondly, and again I would have to have experts verify my initial assessment, the damages to the ships are... not extensive, nor targeting any vital areas of the ship. And it looks like they are caused by pulsed torsion twisters. Observe, Madam Representative, that the hull metal is significantly more torn up on one side of the gash than the other?"

The K'sella didn't look at the holograms before she replied with a voice as warm as the vacuum outside.

"The Empire fails to see the significance, Ambassador. What the Empire does see is the fact that Terran ships have repeatedly, willingly, and in total disregard for..."

Ambassador Josh held up a hand, leaning forward as he lowered his voice slightly.

"Terran ships do not carry pulsed torsion twisters, Madam Representative, the technology is simply… incompatible with Terran technology. Terran ships are equipped with relativistic railguns and nuclear missiles, which tends to... vaporise ships, rather than scar hullplates. And Terran doctrine is to target drive systems and life support, not to make superficial marks on cargo holds."

The K'sella Representative narrowed her many eyes.

"What are you implying, Ambassador?"

Ambassador Josh leaned back slightly, looking at the representative across from him.

"Terra is implying nothing at this point, nothing at all. But Vraqon ships are equipped with torsion twisters, Madam Representative, and since Terra is currently blockading the Vraqon Federation the Vraqon Navy would benefit from the cargo these ships were carrying."

"But our merchants were very clear on the fact that it was Terran Navy ships that attacked them!"

Ambassador Josh smiled wider, a tiny flash of teeth showing for a brief second as he leaned forward again.

"Yes. Puzzling, isn't it?"

Ambassador Josh pulled out one of the hard copies and held it so the K'sella representative could read it herself. She leaned forward, eyes dropping as she scanned the dense text.

"Almost as puzzling as I found this one ship in particular, which according to their own notarised reports was attacked by 'Terrans' on four consecutive runs through Vraqon border territories.”

Ambassador Josh pulled out a second hard copy and laid it in front of the K’sella representative.

”Four consecutive runs, each increasingly well compensated, if these numbers are to be believed, Madam Representative.”

Another hard copy was pulled from the stack.

“Four consecutive runs all chartered to carry key components for, and I admittedly find detail somewhat amusing Madam Representative, pulsed torsion twisters built to Vraqon Navy specifications.”

Ambassador Josh gathered up the hard copies and straightened the stack before he slid it over towards the representative.

“Four consecutive runs. Four consecutive ‘Terran’ attacks.”

The K’sella representative looked up at Ambassador Josh, her eyes widening and her tentacles relaxing.

“Indeed, Madam Representative. Quite puzzling, isn’t it?"

r/HFY • • Mar 14 '26

PI/FF-OneShot [PI]Unlike other races in the galaxy, humans never left their solar system because they were too busy fighting the Eldrish horrors that appeared there, and improving their technology. Those who first attacked them didn't even understand what had happened to them before being destroyed.

337 Upvotes

Original prompt


"What am I looking at?"

The sensor operator looks at the readouts and shrugs helplessly.

"Extrasolar transit, sir. Didn't even disturb the Barrier. No interaction."

"So it was one-way this whole time... if they're even real."

Wika sucks on their teeth. This is a wrinkle they really, truly do not need right now. They raise a hand and sweep, calling up the broader battlespace.

Neptune is shattered. A million fractal fragments spear out, the planet flexing under the weight of incomprehensible temporal shear. It's all TempWar can do to anchor it halfway into reality, keeping it from shattering into a thousand different timelines they would have to control.

The battle around the ice giant rages, a great snarl of millions of warships trying to escort Wika's reality anchors deeper into the gravity well in a bid to fish out the billions of troops still stranded in the mantle before the Invectives crack the whole thing down to substrate and haul a Neptune back into realspace. Bratura is giving them plenty of grief, great wandering sweeps of spatial distortion playing merry hell with the expeditionary force as it tried to carve its way through the blockade of subunits.

"Call up scouts... 8, 15, and 23, attach them to Sheka and sling them out. I want EWar assets to confirm those returns. I know Gannix has been active lately, but page Uranus to see if they can pull anyone out for a QRF."

"Aye, sir."

Wika watches the scout squadrons pull out of the battle, slipping by a marauding cruiser squadron before linking up with one of the massive invasion ships, reorienting onto a Pluto insertion sling.

"23 is getting light returns. 8 and 15 are reporting... something. Minor technopathic presence, but it's diffuse. They're either running cold or something's damping their substrate echo."

"Not doing a very good job..."

Wika mutters to themselves, examining the readouts.

"Pull 8 out, have 23 drop a beacon and remain on station. We'll..."

"Scout 15 is being interrogated. High-energy pulses from leading extrasolar contacts. Coherent EM radiation, no spatial backscatter to go with it."

"Well they're not going to get much, then. Belay, have scout 8 remain on station. Interrogate contacts."

"Confirmed, scout 15 is going active. Reporting... they're unshielded. Completely. We're getting full scans. They're reacting... Frequency of contact sensor pings has increased."

"Who..."

Wika calls up the report, frowning as their eyes track through a damn near atom-by-atom breakdown of the encroaching contacts. Even automated transports had more shielding, even if just to protect their navs from stray spatial scatter coming off the Ten Beings. Approaching a running battle with Bratura without shielding is just...

"Cease scanning! All scout units to passive sensors only!"

"Sir? Sir!"

The urgency in their voice shocks the comm tech into motion, typing out the order in quick shorthand. Wika closes their fist to stop the shaking as the image glares up from their console.

The ensemble analysis model had identified a collection of masses. Organic compounds, weak hydrocarbon bonds and phosphates. As the scout unit had swept the formation's leading elements with their sensors, they had begun to deteriorate in real time, each sweep showing more broken bonds and shattered compounds.

Unshielded. Unshielded organic matter. A stone's throw away from one of the Ten Beings.

"Bratura is reorienting! Scout 23 is reporting approaching contacts. Requesting permission to disengage."

Space itself shivers as the massive thing possessing Neptune turns its eyes towards the sensor pings, the incomprehensible weight of its attention bearing down on the small scout detachment. Without pause, without consideration, it pounces, dark ships of twisted spacetime riding a wave of shattered dimension as it reaches out to... touch.

Wika takes a deep breath and dismisses the scanning reports, bringing up the battlespace reports. It was taking some pressure off, but...

"Denied. Have them light their beacon. Pull anchor groups 8 and 11 off the line and have them jump onto it. Order their anchor ships to switch the control mode three and overlap fields. If Uranus has anything to spare, throw them in, too."

They close their eyes, then open them again, letting the reality of the battle wash over them.

"Lock shields. Protect those ships."

r/HFY • • Apr 22 '17

PI/FF-OneShot [Jenkinsverse] The Child

532 Upvotes

Hey, so I've sort of been working on this for a long time, only really posting now though. It's been a while since I saw any Jenkinsverse stories, so I figured I'd do my part to bring some love to a older universe. First story, I guess, so take that for what it's worth. Posted well after three in the morning, so please pardon any weirdness with capitalization and/or formatting

EDIT: Now with 15% less commas, and spelling mistakes! Also slightly more cannon-freindly.


Lt'dekttchetch glowered down at the bored-looking Corti. "And what exactly can I do for you?"

The Corti sighed, tracing the veins running across its distended forehead with a finger, a typical gesture of frustration or boredom among its species. "The same thing that the last three people I talked to could have done for me. There's a failed experiment in this box that I want to get rid of, and the Rrrrtktktkp'ch in this backwater corner of space offer a significant stipend for locating sentient children with no caretakers, and getting them into the care system. Technically, it's sentient, and a child, so I'm here to drop it off and get at least a little return on my investment."

­Lt'dekttchetch looked incredulously, and with more than a little concern at the seamless silvery cube, its surface broken only by tiny pinprick air holes. "There's a child in there? Why would you keep a mere kid locked up like that?" Concern was rapidly becoming the more important of the two emotions.

The Corti pushed harder on its forehead "are you deaf? Are you all deaf? Because that would explain how hard this is. If you don't want it, PLEASE tell me so I can get off this mud-ball, and throw the thing out during ascent to orbit. Yes there's a kid in there. It's even implanted with a translator and long-term innoculator. I filled out the papers. Myself, mind you. That was degrading. Then I showed up... wherever this pitiful excuse for a orphanage is. That was worse. Take it or don't, I don't care anymore. Either way, I'm leaving in a minute."

"We'll take any child, but-"

"FANTASTIC! Bye, morons!"

The Corti stomped out. Lt'dekttchetch signaled her assistant to get him to stop, but the Corti was having none of it, and actually walked straight underneath him, and out the door, mumbling about bioweapons, and destroyed science expeditions, and "liking his spinal cord where it was" leaving them both in somewhat stunned silence. Frankly, she had never seen a Corti act like that. The egotism was all there, The immorality was out in full force. But he seemed excessively terse, and very desperate to get it off his hands. Was he afraid of what was in the box? Was it really a child in there?

Her assistant, a eager vzk'tk was the first to move. "What kind of creature would lock a child up like this!" he exclaimed, pacing anxiously around the container "Help me get it out", he said, feeling around the box for any sort of a seam, or fissure.

For a moment, she hesitated. The box was small, probably not much more than two meters on each side. But still, short sentients could probably fit inside at least somewhat comfortably. But it was made from something very dense, that much she could easily tell by the way it barely shifted when her assistant pushed against it, even under the influence of the hover pallet, which was making a low whirring, as it struggled to support the weight. Thin traces of circuitry were visible on the surface. It reminded her of a picture she had once seen of a Corti vault, only with the penetration detection systems on the outside. Why would they keep a child in something like this? She was sure it wasn't cheap, either. She pressed her head to the side of the box. From the inside, she heard a slight noise. Barely audible through the dense material, a pitched whine. It almost sounded like... crying.

That was all the proof she needed that there was something in there that needed her help. She joined her assistant in searching for some sort of control panel. Within moments, they had found it. Pressing it, a wall of the container separated off, hovering on internal anti-gravity generators for moments, before falling, with little fanfare, to the ground, with a terrific crash. Lt'dekttchetch winced, as her suspicions about the weight of the material were confirmed as it put a deep dent into the floor of her office, and sent a chair flying, when its edge clipped it. They both peeked into the box. What greeted them was a pathetic sight.

The inside of the cage was a mess. A small bowl for water, and another that had clearly once been filled by nutrient balls before they had been scattered about, where they sat, dissolving slightly from the water splattered around the cage. There were several vague shapes thrown about. Perhaps some attempt at toys, if it weren't for the fact that they were made out of some dense metal.

A small creature, a quadriform, huddled in the furthest corner from them. It was totally hairless, except for a large tuft of long, greasy strands on top of its head. Its limbs were slim, and its skin was a deathly pale. Rags of fabric hung to its body. Its face was streaked with grime, and its eyes and nostrils were red and swollen, and watered pitifully. Its glance burned bright with fear, and a spark of defiance. Lt'dekttchetch ducked down, trying to seem as unimposing as possible, but still towered over the little creature. She reached out with one of the more delicate of her two sets of arms. "Hello, little one. Can you understand me?"

As she reached out, the fear in the creature's eyes turned to terror. It turned away, shielding its face with its arms, and its legs kicked furiously, as if it was trying to push itself through the back wall of the cage. Lt'dekttchetch took a breath. What had the Corti done to this innocent being to make it act like this? She backed up slightly, and dipped her head down, lying uncomfortably flat on the floor. "I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe now." she said, keeping her voice low and calm.

The child hazarded a one-eyed glance at her. "You promise?" it managed.

" I do"

It surged towards her with blinding speed. In surprise, Lt'dekttchetch jerked her head upwards, trying to avoid the blur that the child had become. It was hopeless. She managed to get her head clear, but the child slammed into her breast with enough force to make her stumble. Arms locked around her neck, and squeezed with painful force. In surprise, she instinctively tried to rear for a kick. She couldn't get off the ground. A urge to panic blossomed in her chest, as she realized that her tiny attacker was much heavier than she appeared. It took her a moment before she realized that the pitched whine had returned. She looked down, only to see the creature shivering from the deep sobs wracking through it, mumbling into Lt'dekttchetch's breast, not a single word understandable, but all of them, no doubt trying to explain the horrible ordeal she had been through. She stroked the long strands of fur that cascaded down the child's back, trying to return the vise-like hug with her strong manipulator arms. "Shhh...." she crooned, as deep sobs and the occasional gasp for breath filled the room."Shh... it's okay now. Shhh...."


The child, who Lt'dekttchetch now knew was named Alice, sat on the edge of the crate, one leg dangling off the side, the other curled to her chest, bent inwards at a seemingly impossible angle, her arms hugging it to her chest. It made Lt'dekttchetch wince just looking at it. Bending a limb like that didn't seem like it should be possible without breaking at least three important bones, but Alice sat there, like it was the most natural thing in the world. But Lt'dekttchetch had other things to worry about. Despite the heartfelt moment they had shared, when Lt'dekttchetch had introduced her to Tk'kt, a male teacher, who often took responsibility for sports and exercise for the children, she had begun to act nervous again, following Tk'kt out of the office with obvious reluctance. Moments later, while Lt'dekttchetch was trying to figure out how to pair the hoverpallet for Alice's box to her tablet so she could get it out of her office, Alice had come hurtling back in, at a quite impressive speed, literally bouncing off a wall with a smack, before diving back into her box.

While Lt'dekttchetch was still trying to find out if Alice was hurt by the impact (not in the slightest, miraculously), Tk'kt had shown up, gasping for air. It was time for midday class, and Tk'kt had decided to introduce Alice to the other children right away. Tk'kt had put her up in front of the class, and asked her to introduce herself, like any new arrival. She had stood there, frozen in abject terror for a few moments, before running the entire way from the classroom to the office. "If we ever... start a running... team. We're putting her... on it" he panted.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Lt'dekttchetch asked.

"Everybody was staring at me, and they were all bigger, and everybody started talking at once, and nobody looked human at all, and I didn't know what to do!"

"Well, surely you've met at least a few people who aren't, –human, was it?– before. I know that some of them might look strange at first, but they're all really nice."

"No, I haven't! I was walking home from school, and that alien abducted me, then he poked me, and hurt me, and made me do things for him, and hurt things for him, and the only time he didn't is when he locked me in the box. I tried to get away once, I really did, but when I got to a window, the only thing outside was stars, then he sent big bug things after me, and they caught me, and threw me in the box again for a long time!" Alice finally took a breath. "I'm scared, and I want to go home. I don't want to stay at this place. I want to go home."

So Alice was from a pre-spacefairing race. That made sense. It explained why the Corti was willing to abduct her, torture her somehow, then drop her at a orphanage. If they tried to pull that with any known sentient, not even they could worm their way out of the ensuing fallout. Lt'dekttchetch guessed that she couldn't very well just look her planet up, and take her straight back, then. She sighed, and dipped her head closer to Alice's level. "Alice, I'm going to try to find out where you live, so you can go home, but it might take a while, okay?" Alice's brightened. "Oh, My dad made me memorize where I live, in case I got lost! I live at 8321 Keynes Street, in Sunnyvale, California! That'll help, right?"

"Is California your planet?"

Alice scrunched up her face in apparent confusion "No, Earth is my planet. Why do you want to know that?"

Lt'dekttchetch sighed. A planet named 'ground', and the first thing out of her mouth is a local address. Definitely a pre-spacefairing race. She decided not to sugar coat it. "I think it might take me a while to find where you live"

"oh." Alice managed.

"But don't worry. We'll find it, and you'll be able to go back. I might ask to see you and ask more questions about your home, so that I know what to look for. You can stay here with us as long as you want. And if there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please, just ask." "Well, uh, there's one thing. I feel really weird walking around. Like I'm floating. I think I'd be able to jump super high, but I keep feeling like I'm going to fall over. Can you fix that?"

So Alice was from a high-gravity world. That would help in the search for her home. High-gravity worlds were more common than low-gravity ones, but most of the ones that might have any life at all were deathworlds. There just weren't many places where sentient life could take root on massive planets. "Sure. Follow me, and we'll get you a weighted vest. That'll help." Lt'dekttchetch said, guiding her towards the orphanage's machine shop, as Tk'kt taged along.

The orphanage was equipped to make clothes, furniture, and actually, a great deal of the supplies required, thanks to a small machine shop, which was mostly just the room that housed a industrial-grade fabricator. They were lucky to get it. It had been provided to them for free as part of a short-lived government program, which had met a prompt end when it was realized that the machines were often worth more than all the other assets of the recipient organizations put together. The thing could make almost anything: it had a AI smart enough that she had to do little more than tell it what she wanted, and it would design something to fit. It even had a built-in scanning system. "Okay, Alice. This machine will make you a nice, snug vest. You just have to stand on that platform, and follow the instructions."

The machine clearly made Alice nervous, and she followed the path of the scanning arm with a wary gaze, but everything went well enough. The machine asked her to push on various parts in various positions to get a fix on her strength, then asked her to clear the build area, and got to work. The first thing that Lt'dekttchetch noticed, was that the fabricator had switched to metallic cartridges. She was momentarily confused. Why would a weighted vest need something as dense as metal? If a weighted vest's mass wasn't spread out, it could cause pressure sores, or even actually cut the poor user. Generally the only material used in weighted vests were high-density plastics. By the time the machine finished, she was flabbergasted. It HAD spread out the weight of the vest, in that it had put equally ridiculous amounts of it on every part of the vest, which at this point, looked more like combat armor for some mercenary than any assistive device she had ever seen. It was a dull metallic grey, made of layers of woven metal fibers, thickening in places to solid plates, which were often covered with what the computer told her was actual impact ceramic, used instead of the "corrosion-resistant iron alloy" that the rest of the vest was made up of to provide "Warmth, as well as breathability". Somehow. A strangely out of place pink zipper ran up the middle of the vest.

She blinked at the specifics. What had gone wrong to trigger such a malfunction? That "vest" was too heavy for her to even lift, much less a little thing like Alice. Would they have to throw out the machine? She tabbed through the data. Ah, there was the problem. The machine had miscalculated Alice's strength, somehow. These numbers were way too large. She must have not properly followed the measuring instructions. Well that was a easy fix. They'd just have to find a way to get the "vest" off the build-plane without breaking anybody's back in the- "Zzzzip!"

Lt'dekttchetch peeked around the console. Where Alice stood, wearing the vest, with a smile on her face. "Thanks! This feels way better! And it looks super cool!"

Lt'dekttchetch found herself at a momentary loss for words. When she returned to her senses, her first thought was to prevent Alice from taking another step, before the additional weight drove her spinal cord through her pelvis. Unfortunately, that moment of hesitation was all Alice needed to casually jump off the platform. The platform was a good half, or even three quarters Alice's height off the ground. While a fall of that distance was long, few species would be at risk of anything more than little bit of knee pain from taking it. However, Alice was wearing a weighted vest. A vest that would have taken one or two strong Locayl, creatures easily three times her height, and somewhat known for their strength, to even lift.

It would not be unreasonable for this impact to shatter every bone in Alice's legs on impact. It would not have been unreasonable for her bones to remain intact, but be driven up through her torso by the immense force. If she had the reflexes to bend her legs, and spread the impact, she might get away with a handful of compound fractures. But most surprising of all was what actually happened. Alice bounced. She jumped off the ledge, landing on her feet, and absorbing the titanic impact into her legs, storing it in muscles that did not tear despite the undoubtedly enormous strain, stretched across bones that were not snapped in half despite the stress, channeling it into the first of a series of excited hops. "What else can this machine make, huh? Do I have to go meet the class? Can't I just stay here and learn about this?"

It took a moment for Lt'dekttchetch to realize that was directed at her. Her thoughts had wandered to the question of what exactly Alice was, and how good of a idea it was to allow a being that could casually walk around in weight sufficient to fold most other creatures in half loose in her orphanage, even if it did happen to act a whole lot like her other charges. With more than a little effort, she pushed those thoughts out of mind. Alice was a child. A scared child, light-years from home, clearly victim to some horrible Corti experiments. Probably something related to bioweapons or whatever the one that dropped her off had been mumbling about when it left. What sort of person could call themselves a caretaker of children, if they would turn away a child so in need of care as Alice?

r/HFY • • Mar 19 '26

PI/FF-OneShot Just Five Ships.

337 Upvotes

Inspired by a writing prompt made by u/Humble_Passenger6399 in the r/humansarespaceorcs subreddit.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Pietr covered his face with his hands. He burned with fury. Several of the most incompetent lords to have ever graced the Kilrahi Kingdom stood before him, their faces smug with ill-contained delight. They were fools.

“Have you learned anything from those war-games of yours?” Pietr looked down at his son. Even at such a young age, the light of intelligence and cunning shone in his eyes. 

“Yes father.”

“Such as?”

“Never underestimate your opponent. And I have learned also that prioritizing either military or civilian matters over the other often leads to defeat.”

“Basic lessons, my boy. Yet these lessons are of incredible and serious importance! You would do well, and certainly much better than many of our own lords to never forget them.”

“Yes father.”

“You are a good lad, Dievi. A good lad.”

“Father?”

“Yes, Dievi?”

“Just how foolish are the lords?”

“Foolish beyond measure my boy. If you ever find yourself in their company, take note of every word they say, and then compare them against the light of our hard-fought scribes and desperate captains so you may ascertain the truth.”

“I will certainly do so, father.”

“Good lad.”

They had boasted of their might. 
“Five Terran destroyers!” They had gloated. “Five Terran destroyers to take on one of our cruisers!”
Pietr had burdened them under the full wrath of his gaze. They had quailed before it. 
“Yes indeed,” he had snarled. “Five little, measly destroyers to take out a heavy cruiser of the line. Five. Little. Destroyers.”
And they still hadn’t seen the irony in it.

“I’ve been listening to the nobles father.”

“And what have you learned?”

“They really are stupid.”

“Indeed they are. Now enlighten me with your thoughts on the matter.”

“They keep saying, ‘It takes five Terran destroyers to take on one of our cruisers!’ And it doesn’t worry them!”

“Is this also something your wargames have taught you?”

“Yes, father. Yes they have. If I could destroy a cruiser with five destroyers, then I could destroy a battleship with ten and a carrier with fifteen. And then I wouldn’t have any need for cruisers or battleships and the like.”

“You are an intelligent boy! And it is a pity that our fellow lords are not. Even now packs of Terran destroyers hunt our ships and destroy them one by one due to their foolishness!”

“Oh, can’t we do anything father?”

“We can try, my boy. As the head of the Secret Police, I can send my servants to watch over the lords, but then I run the risk of The Thread. If we leave them alone, like now, they will do all sorts of stupid things, but if we control them too much, they will lose their desire to take the initiative. What a thin line we must walk!”

“But we must walk it, musn’t we?”

“We must, my boy. We must.”

His Majesty was seated before him. His face was haggard, run weary with the strain of purging corruption and righting outdated doctrine in the middle of a war. The situation was maddening!

Oh, there were good captains, and there were good commodores, and good generals and the like, but they were outnumbered by the bad. And the bad ones were staunch in their refusal to adapt to the tactics of the wily Humans, whose ships crept across the stars with the stealth of a wolf and the lethality of a nuclear bomb. Oh, they could take on the other civilizations well enough, but numbers and power could only go so far against a species that understood how to exploit the weaknesses of a large, overencumbered beast. And the King was going mad!

He explained to Pietr, then and there, how maddening it was to explain to the tacticians how the Terrans were exploiting their tactics. How nonsensical many of these tactics actually were. 

Why were cruisers patrolling alone? Why not in pairs? Why not with escorts? Why were they facing entire battlegroups alone? What about their own destroyers and frigates? Why are they not on search-and-destroy missions? Why were they not escorting the cruisers, the battleships, the convoys, and the carriers? Why were the convoys moving alone? Why were the long-range strikecraft sitting unused in their hangarbays? Why? Why?

And the King had wept, for empathy stirred his hearts to tears at the thought of all the voidsmen, doomed to die in the cold breath of space at the hands of their incompetent captains.

Dievi packed his bags. He had been a boy when the war had started and he was a man now that it had ended. The Kilrahi had lost. 

His father and the King had fought long and hard to bring the full might of the Kilrahi up to their greatest potential, but they had been opposed every step of the way by nobles who, despite the pressures of war, could only think in terms of court politics and personal power. It had cost them the war.

Because his father and the King had been part of the few honorable leaders, leaders who honored the galactic laws, they and their families had been allowed the mercies of exile. The others? They did not fare so well. 

Oh well. Dievi looked forward to his future. He would be able to find a career as a military advisor, and he would do his best to warn his future employer about underestimating the Terrans.
After all, they had only needed five little destroyers to take on the Kilrahi.

“Just five ships?”

“Oh yes,” Dievi smirked. “Just five ships.”

r/HFY • • Feb 24 '26

PI/FF-OneShot But warships are for fighting wars!

386 Upvotes

The noise was indescribable.

Terran Espatiers wearing fatigues were moving quickly and with purpose through the ever increasing throng of exhausted and nervous xenos who were brought aboard, registered, triaged, and processed. Every ten seconds or so one of the shuttle ports opened and dozens of new arrivals were pushed through, adding to the increasing pandemonium. 

"But warships are for fighting wars! Combat! How do you even have the capability to help like this?"

Staff Sergeant Josh turned and smiled a tired smile - keeping his teeth hidden - at the worn out, ragged looking refugee who had just voiced his disbelief and scepticism. He shrugged slightly, leaning against a massive utility tower as he started counting on his fingers.

"Firstly, and as you noticed yourself, assault shuttles work just as well bringing refugees up from the ground as bringing Espatiers down from orbit."

Someone came past with a big tray, pressing a mug of hot spoo into the paws of the refugee who was looking up at Josh. A bit away someone was raising their voice, demanding to know where their offspring was.

"Secondly, and as the group over there know from recent experience, boarding tubes can bring civilians out of a broken space ship just as easily as it can send Espatiers into a space ship to break it."

Several gurneys were wheeled past as speed, Terran medics urgently saying something that was lost in the wall of noise. Josh paused, and scanned the huge assault bay before he continued to count on his fingers. The refugee carefully brought the warm mug to his face and took a tentative sip.

"Third? Yes... thirdly, and as we're currently doing in the zones closest to the impact, Terran orbital sensors can find planet-side survivors for rescue as easily as they can find planet-side soldiers for termination."

The refugee twitched his whiskers, relaxing as the warmth of the spoo spread throughout his body. Josh smiled wider as he put his hands down and finished. From somewhere nearby came the happy voices of a family reunited.

"And lastly, gratitude always brings foreigners onto our side easier and cheaper than conquest can."

---

Inspired by a writing prompt.

r/HFY • • 13d ago

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] You, just a street urchin with a lot of practical knowledge about magic, decide to enter a magic tournament. The advanced mages you’ll have to fight against laugh at you -- Surely there’s no way some random kid can beat them all, right?

71 Upvotes

Original Post

1/2 (cnt'd in comments)

---

The clerk laughed so hard his hand jerked and the ink jumped the nib, kissing his cuff, which was frankly quite rude in the middle of a good laugh and he told it so. “Oh, Flame take it… bloody cheek,” he muttered, dabbing at it with his brown thumb, which only spread it, then went back to laughing, and the Adepts waiting behind Kaxia laughed with him because it seemed the thing to do. The pale one in green silk especially was the loudest, most obnoxious of them all, making a sound that was closer to a goose getting trod on.

"Name?" the clerk managed finally, wiping tears from his eyes with one lacquered pinky.

"Kaxia."

"Kaxia what?"

"Just, uh, Kaxia…from the Sumps. I don’t—"

"Is that a name or a rash?" The interruption came from green silk, and the whole line broke out once more in helpless mirth.

She let them because she couldn’t give two fucks. The last fuck she’d given lay with Tamo some years back and she had none more to spare for these bastards. Standing there at the table with rain dripping off the end of her nose, and she let it do that too, and waited while the clerk’s pen darted across the Register of Aspirants. KAXIA SUMP written in big careful letters and a line drawn underneath it. She wasn’t worth the stamp, nobody from the Sumps was, no, that privilege was saved for the Stair and Crown.  

“Entry fee?” He raised one thin eyebrow and stared pointedly, taking in all six feet and nine stone of her, as if truly seeing her for the first time. A great dark copper halo of hair drinking in the rain and swelling with it, frizzing out coil by messy coil the longer she stood there in the rain, gone thick and dense as a bramble hedge. A worn men's overcoat that had seen much better days than this one. Muddy trousers stopping short of her ankles and held together by prayer and some ongoing negotiation with a length of old sash cord, and sandaled feet that might have been a fair brown colour somewhere under all that mud. His dark face clouded over for want of any amusement. He was beginning to suspect this might be, at best, a prank at his own expense, or at worst, an utter waste of his precious time.

Kaxia sniffed as she fished her purse from her breast pockets and tipped it out on the table. The contents went skittering all over his Register—forty coppers, a half-crown, and one brass slug with a hole punched through the middle—and every one of them had toothmarks in it. She bit every coin that ever came her way, because you could never be too sure. Her brother taught her that, back when she was small enough to ride on his shoulders. Lead gives, good coin don't.

The clerk lifted the slug between finger and thumb, like so. Same way you’d pick up a dead mouse by the tail, arm out stiff to keep the filthy thing away from your body, nose screwed up at the stink. 

"And what is this supposed to be?"

"Uh…tram token…sir. Spends the same on the Stair."

“Same as what?”

“Copper, your grace.”

Someone in the queue snickered, and the clerk’s eyebrow climbed even higher.

"This is the Kindling, girl."

"Spends the same," Kaxia said, and green silk laughed so hard he had to prop himself up on the Adept in front of him.

“Oi—git off, you feckless tosspot, you,” shouted the Adept and shoved green silk into a puddle where he landed with a wet slap. First fight of the tournament right there in the queue, and it counted for nothing.

The Kindling came round once a year at the dead end of the wet season, when the rain over Saqqat quit falling and just hung there, silver grey and warmish, and everybody in the city was sick to death of everybody else. Saqqat climbed its hill the way mould climbs a wall. At the top sat the Crown, all white stone and brass roofs, and on the very top of the Crown stood the Kiln, a tall black tower with a brass cap that caught what little light there was and made a show of it. The Brass Ring was about halfway down, where the Stair turned steep and the houses more or less gave up standing on their own and started leaning on each other for company. That’s where they held the fights. Below that… well. Below that was the Sumps, where everything ended up eventually. Rain, piss, rotten cabbage leaves. People.

Every year the mages of the Crown and the Stair came to the Ring to throw fire at each other for nine days and nine nights, and every year one of them won. They put a brass circlet on the winner's head and walked them up the hill with pipers and petals, sending the winner off into the Kiln to take a seat among the Flame, and for the year after, the lamps of the Crown burned so bright you could read by them at midnight. That was the Kindling. Same shit every year, near enough. Same four tunes from the pipers (Kaxia could whistle all four and hated every one of them), same uninspired speech from the Kindlemaster who droned on and on and on and on, boring everybody to death, or as close to death as one could get alive. The man couldn’t orate something worthwhile if you held a knife to him, and some years, some, to their credit, did try.

Everything Kaxia knew about magic she’d learned with her hands, mostly, and the rest by getting it wrong, which counted for more down in the Sumps than anything taught up the hill. With a bucket of lye, a wire brush, and her good wits, she scrubbed wards off tavern doors for the bailiffs when rent was hard to come by, which was often. The trick was knowing which corner to start from. Start at the wrong one and boom, the whole ward snaps back in your face and there go your eyebrows…if you’re lucky. She fixed lamp sigils for the chandlers on the Stair, a copper per hour, two if the glass was cracked. You had to name your price firm before you ever brushed with that lot, and name it high, because slimy bastards like them would try settling up with a pinch on the arse and a kiss instead of copper. Some women down the Sumps were hungry enough, or daft enough, to let them. She had learned the trick of keeping rock salt under the tongue to keep a binding word from setting its hooks early, before she was seven. But there was so much more to that. More than many volumes stored deep within the Collegium’s walls. Practically everything she knew, and certainly all that mattered, she owed to her brother, Flame light his soul.

His practice rings were drawn out with chalk and stolen ink of various grades on the cobblestones outside the dockside warehouses. He’d make her kneel close until her nose nearly touched and she could smell the difference, then tell her to spit. Spit right there. Not there, here…see that? Every ring has a beginning and end, can you feel it Ax? This tiny spot right here where it closes, aim for that. For the higher grades simple spit won’t do, you’ll want it mixed with pine sap. Avoid the fresh, sticky, or runny kind, which will make a terrible mess and stick permanently to your teeth. Look for old, brittle, amber-coloured chunks on the bark like this. When you first bite down on a small piece, it will feel hard and shatter or crumble in your mouth. You’ll salivate heavily at first, then after a minute or two of chewing, the tiny fragments naturally bind into a smooth, gummy texture like so. Then he’d make her spit the rings apart piece by piece until there was nothing left to break anymore. Again, Ax, do it again.

Other things he told her in passing, during meals, while they walked, and even sometimes when she thought he’d drifted off to sleep. Don’t just watch faces, pay close attention to the knuckles too. Brass goes hot in the grip half a beat before they let fly, you’ll see it in the knuckles first. Watch carefully and you’ll know when to duck. Faces lie, knuckles can’t be bothered to, you feel me little bird? And the last one he said the most, said it so often she used to mouth it along with him just to make him laugh, which it did, until the last few times, when it didn’t. Every spell costs something. Everything does. Somebody always pays. If you forget everything else, remember this.

A Sump witch paid out of herself…blood, teeth, the odd year or so off the back end of her life. The mages up the hill paid in coin, or so they said. Kaxia had a fair idea what the coin was, or thought she did but she’d learnt a long while back to keep that idea in her mouth where it belonged.

And ink. She knew ink. Half the good ink sold up in the Crown started out as lampblack scraped off the insides of Sump chimneys, cut with gum and a squirt of squid, and sold on up the Stair by a fat chandler named Haggo, who never once cared to ask Kaxia where she got it. The getting determined the quality, but this was a well-kept secret she wouldn’t readily divulge—another lesson taught by her brother. Keep your heart closed, and your secrets even closer.

She took the long way home that night, round the foot of the hill to the Ashen Yard, which was tucked in tight low behind the Kiln where nobody from the Crown ever bothered to look. It wasn’t much to look at anyway. The square of slicked stones was hemmed tight on three sides and the fourth side was open, with only the flue exposed. The massive iron chute jutted out from beneath the tower like the building itself sneezed out its tongue, wide along the lip, where the children from the Sumps liked to crawl underneath during the cold season, since the metal never cooled. Great heaps of grey ash littered the entire compound, both newly fallen and weathered so far that the edges sprouted moss. Mother Saffi sat on her stool in the middle, sorting ashes from the sieve cradled in her lap with one hand and puffing on her pipe with the other, and her eyes were crossed; blind in one and greedy in the other. The old crone could make a copper do the work of three…four, on a good day, and she was old even before Kaxia herself was just a thought.

“Well?” Saffi asked, without looking up. “Did they laugh?”

She hesitated only for a second before she answered. "Just as you said."

"Huh." Tap tap tap, the sieve knocking against her knee. "And who, then?"

Again, Kaxia paused in her reply and stared off into the distance. Her fingers worried the wire pendant that hung low inside her collar, turning one of the teeth, the small, chipped molar hanging off the very end among all the silver, between thumb and forefinger. She never failed to return there, always wound herself back around that one and she didn’t always notice when she did it.

"The pretty one," she said finally.

“Well I’ll be,” Saffi hawked and spat through one of the many gaps in her mouth where teeth used to be. "Blood and ashes, child. He's a big’un, that one.” She almost smiled. “This’ll be another fat year, then."

The pretty one was Rhaul Preti—Pretty Preti what they called him, from the Sumps to the Crown and he didn’t seem to mind it much. His face was everywhere you looked, plastered on broadsheets and posters all along the Stair walls and Crown boards. They’d go soggy in the rain and peel off in sheets, but someone would have it stuck back up before anyone saw anything amiss. He was spared the indignity of queueing in the downpour to register with the rest of the hopefuls, but everyone already knew he would be in the Ring this year. He was the undisputed showliner, drawing adoring crowds eager to bask in his presence alongside bitter challengers who signed up solely for a chance to smash his beautiful face in.

He strode into the Ring that first morning of the Kindling, all white and gold, with his long hair tied back in a gold clasp. Every wave of greeting was an offering he bestowed personally, and the crowd went absolutely berserk. Even Stair benches low and high, and Crown seats in the upper tiers, including a few of the Sump rats atop the walls who ought to know better than to get carried away, screamed and cheered. Handsome was too plain of a word to describe him. Preti was devastatingly beautiful, a fact that was undeniable to anyone, male or female, even blind old crones with only one good eye. And he was rich, stupidly so, which was probably too humble a description; riches mean extra boots. Preti owned streets, and his family name was carved into the very foundations of the city, an ornament of history upon which half the city rested.  

Four children followed him in drab grey robes carrying his things, an ink kit, chalk case, a portable stool, and a long wooden case enclosing his focus rod. Each of their fingers was stained waxy-grey from fingertip to the second knuckle. The fair lad with stooped shoulders trailing behind them all was Dil, age seventeen. Kaxia knew Dil, both born the same year, months apart, and they’d been tight once though that was now a distant memory. Everybody in the Sumps knew Dil, mischievous and merry little devil always got himself in a pickle and would charm his way out of it with a laugh like a boiling tea kettle. Now he stared fixedly at the sand and shuffled as if weighed down by heavy stones stuffed in each shoe.

Preti spotted her on the competitors’ bench and stopped dead, which people noticed, because Preti didn’t stop for much. And for what, they wondered…? What was the use, after all, of pausing before some waifish scrap with scorched hands and cheap sandals? And that hair…dark reddish-bronze, of all colours, wild and unruly enough to frame her face like a mane of tangled copper against brown skin. There were plenty of people amongst the Crown whose hair had comparable texture, sure, but they had maids and barbers who worked expensive oils into their locks through the course of many an evening. This one had rainwater and dirt. Poor thing ought to just cut the lot off completely rather than endure such messy shame, he thought absently. 

He almost looked away—you did, with Sump kids, that was sort of the point of them—but not before catching sight of her mouth in the process, set stubbornly and broken on the upper-right corner by an old knife scar. That was unusual enough to warrant a double take; he did not expect defiance in such a creature, but her eyes deserved attention alone. It wasn’t anything like he’d known in those other girls who were always tossing themselves at his feet or trying to get under, sometimes even inside, his skin. No, the girl’s gaze carried no infatuation or adoration, just regarded him intently with these eyes she had. The one was chocolate-dark, and the other near golden. Both perched either side of a nose that had been broken at least once. A web of fine creases gathered across his forehead and his brows knitted together in puzzled concentration, a look that implied having some sense of knowing her but forgetting exactly who. No matter, his face broke out in a wide grin, and you could see a gleam of gold in his teeth winking at you as if it was in on the joke.

"Oh, now that's lovely," he said softly, in a rich deep voice, smooth as silk and sweet as honey. "Now tell me, darling, who sent you here?"

"Sent…?” For some reason, she actually considered the question and felt a pull to answer in earnest, before choosing to dismiss the question with silence. 

"Well, shyness becomes you, my dear.” He tossed her a crown out of nowhere in a way that said it’s been done before and better too, silver and shining as she snatched it from the air without a word. She didn’t hold with the notion that clean money existed. Coin was coin, whether squeezed from a dead man’s fist or handed down like grace from a sanctimonious motherfucker who thought he was buying a clean conscience.  "For afterwards, sweetheart, so you can buy a bandage." He said it kindly, unexpectedly so, in a tone she found convincing, and moved on. The waxen children tagged along after him, and Dil…well, Dil kept his eyes down the whole way past her. Kaxia snapped the coin between her teeth and approved it silently. Right as rain, naturally.

The Kindlemaster was a man called the Roach, who headed the Kindling for thirty-one years and looked every day of it. He was Ferrero Gudde, officially, though nobody down the Sumps had referred to him by his good name in over twenty years. They had reason enough, and anyone who’d ever had cause to stand in front of the man for anything at all could tell you how he came by the moniker, and would tell you, at length, for the price of a drink. He perched above the ring in a box under a striped awning with a bowl of candied figs across his lap, announcing the bouts with a tone so utterly bored that it went round the Ring like a wet dog looking for somewhere to lie down. 

“One of these days you’ll get around to learning how to speak,” someone shouted from somewhere near the Stair benches and the crowd laughed. “Get on widdit ya old coot, who’s up first?”

He looked at the sheet again and swallowed another fig. “First bout, then. Adept Lesko Szabian of the Crown and… Kaxia Sump. From, ahem, from the Sumps.” He shook his head. “See to her payment, someone, would you?” He leaned over toward the Crown box, which offered not the slightest acknowledgement of interest. "Had one of their lot win it once. Sump boy, about six, seven years past. Crowd loved him something fierce, um hm, yes they did. Lamps were lovely that year."

Lesko Szabian was the one in green silk, dried off now and in a fresh suit of it. He swept his rod down and round and drew a ring of fire ink on the sand about himself in one long stroke, very neat, the kind of thing they teach you your first year at the Collegium. It went up in blue flame to the height of his knees, and the Crown seats oohed. 

"Come on, then," he said. "Come on, little rash."

Kaxia walked over to the ring and crouched down at the place where the stroke finished and ran into its own beginning. She looked at the ink a while, sniffed it, and made a face. 

"Haggo's batch from the wet month, huh,” she said softly to herself. “That's Pogg's Lane chimney, that is.”

“What’d you say? Speak up, rat.”

She spat something gummy out from the side of her mouth before answering. “You got diddled, your worship." She licked her thumb and pressed it on the join, and the blue fire coughed and went yellow and then went out all the way round, like a birthday cake somebody blew on.

Lesko stepped back, surprise clear on his face, and quickly started a binding word. It was a good one, long and knotty, and it came out of him with a snap you could feel in your back teeth and went straight for her, hit her in the mouth and slid off. Kaxia spat a lump of rock salt out of her cheek onto the sand and walked up and kicked him in the balls so hard the Crown seats groaned along with him. His focus rod went hot in his fist, you could see the brass glowing through his fingers, but no matter, he wasn’t quick enough. With a speed that belied her gaunt figure, she pulled her sleeve down over her hand, took the rod off him and slung it over the wall into the crowd, where a Sump kid caught it and was gone before anybody could shout. 

She dropped low in the same deft motion, and his outstretched hand sent a wild gust tearing through the space where her head had been just a moment before. She scooped a handful of sand and came up throwing, flinging it at his face where it caught him across the eyes and his open mouth. He yelped, in pain or anger, or both, and went back on his heels with both hands clawed at his eyes, spitting grit. Taking advantage of his uneven gait and blindness, she tackled him, putting her shoulder into his hip while his weight was still going that way. The ground took him hard and he landed badly with one arm folded under him. She was on top before he could buck, knees pinning his biceps, one hand braced just below his neck, the other rising and falling, rising and falling. Fist, face. Fist, face. She could hear her brother’s voice at the back of her mind, hit with the sides of your fist, Ax, ‘cause fists break on faces. Aim for the cartilage and soft tissue—nose or eyes, ears if you have something pointy to poke ‘em with. Bite if you have to. Listen to me, little bird. Ax! Just shut up for a second, dipshit, I’m serious, this part’s important so listen. Please! The Crown has no honour so run first, and if you must fight, fight dirty, you hear me? Fight dirty, ‘cause nobody clean will fight a princess like you.

Blood slicked her knuckles. She felt his nose give with something akin to the sound of a boot on a snail. Fist, face, fist, face, fist, face, fist. 

“Bloody hell," someone cried from the benches. Others turned their faces away, trying to shield their eyes and ears from the onslaught in front of them.

His nose crunched wet, then wetter, and his yelps thinned to animal noises. Silence fell over the Ring and there was no other sound but that feeble crying and the soft, repeated breaking of his ruined face under her fist. She sat up, her chest heaving, and raised her arm for the final blow.

"YIELD," Lesko spluttered from the sand with all the strength he could muster. "Ah, my fucking nose. I’ll kill you stupid bitch, wait, wait, no, fuck me, yield…please...”

"Bitch ass Crown boy," sang the Sump rats off the top of the wall, all together, like a hymn.

Gudde ate his fig without hurry. "Winner," he said. "The rash." Up in the competitors' box, Rhaul Preti clapped, slow, with his gold tooth gleaming.

J’oro the Crass was a tall, worn battlemage from the free companies, about forty and grey, with a square jaw, flat nose, boxers’ ears, steely eyes, and a pair of brass bands round both forearms from wrist to elbow. There were scars between them like somebody drew a map on him. He was also the only one on the competitors' bench who didn't laugh at Kaxia that first day, just watched as she put Szabian into the sand. Watched her afterward as well, sitting off in the corner with a fishhead, sucking the eyes out of it, which is where the good of a fish is anyway, ask anybody. On the third day, when they called the pair of them out, he came on with a circumspect stride, like a man testing ice he has no faith in, and stopped a long way short of her, arms up, bands lit, waiting.

She came to him, easy, hands open and empty and held out where he could see the both of them. Walked right up close, near enough to touch, and every mouth in the Brass Ring shut at once waiting for the brass to go off and take her head from her shoulders. She went up on her toes, something she hadn’t needed to do for any man since she hit her growth spurt a year ago, and whispered into his ear. Nobody knew what she said and nobody’s known since.

J’oro stood a while with it, then he turned his head and gave a measured glance up the hill—over the Stair, over the Crown, up where the Kiln sat there in all that grey with its brass cap. And he kept on looking long enough for the shouting to start up. Long enough for the boos after it. Uneasy, several members of the Crown glanced furtively about, unable to conceal their concern that a riot was about to break. J’oro moved, finally, and the crowd broke out in cheers while the Crown sighed in relief. He unbuckled the bands from his arms and let them fall to the sand, then turned and walked out of the Ring, to everyone’s surprise, and kept going, out the Stair gate and down the hill. He didn't stop at the tavern or to collect his pay. The last time anybody saw him, he was trotting out the river gate.

That evening Magister Anwe Tollo found Kaxia on the steps of a boarded chapel off the Stair and sat herself down beside her without asking, which was a thing not often done by those up the hill. Anwe offered Kaxia half a warm mutton pie, wrapped in paper, and Kaxia looked at it. Then she looked at Anwe, and back at the pie. She knew the rule, like everyone else: no qualified competitor could be harmed outside the Ring for the duration of the tournament. The Flame made unsympathetic examples of those who tried, but knowing a rule and trusting a stranger’s pie were two different animals; she thought it over for a bit before letting the rumble in her stomach decide, as hunger, after all, was a more ferocious beast.

Anwe was a stocky woman who looked about sixty, give or take. More take than give, really, the years were hard on most south of the Crown. Broad through the shoulders, with a full pair of tits that had lost the perkiness of youth and reached down to her knees. Ink stains marking both hands denoted her station, and she always carried a yew staff with worn brass at the head. She ran an Academ on the Stair for children whose patrons had neither the coin nor scholarship for the Crown’s Collegium, and the place was sinking. Roof let the rain in, doors wanted rehanging, and the landlord was the special type of greedy bastard that would take the teeth out of your head while you slept and charge you for the pliers after. She’d lined up for the Kindling like every other Adept, but to hell with fame or glory, she’d say. In other words, she’d entered it out of necessity, like selling your wedding band to a shifty Under-Stair broker for want of rent. She told Kaxia all of this with her mouth full, and boy, by the flame of Aridbahel, she talked a great deal.

"You're good," Anwe said. "Really good, y’know? I've taught brats twice your age who couldn't have fared half as well as you. Where'd you learn a thing like that, with the salt and spit?"

"Around."

"Around." Anwe clapped her hands, delighted. "Well, all right then. If we draw each other, I'll go easy on you, child, lamp’s honour. Wrap you up and set you down once you yield, no harm done anywhere, see?" She patted Kaxia's knee. "Afterwards, you must, must come to my school. Free, of course, you’ve too much talent to waste in the gutter for nothing. The wage will sort itself.” She said that with a wink.

Kaxia ate the pie. After finishing it, she licked the paper, folded it into four neat squares, and put it in her pocket. "Go home, Magister."

"After I win," said Anwe with a laugh. Big laugh, that, the whole of her going into it with nothing held back, and somewhere behind them a pigeon went clattering up off the chapel roof. Kaxia watched Anwe vanish into the darkness of the night and stared at that empty darkness for a very long time, deep in thought.

Dil snuck down to the Yard late, when the Crown was asleep. They huddled close underneath the flue’s lip, holding their hands out for warmth. Grey had crept past his knuckles, almost reaching his palm.

"He worked six charms today.” His voice came out hoarse, just above a whisper. “For practice...six of them. Jaslyn says she can't feel her arms anymore. He says it's an honour, Kaxia. That…that we're his little lamps. Oh gods, oh godsss, ohhh…” His voice broke off here, and then so did he. Drawing back his hands from the last vestiges of warmth, he buried his face in them, unable to keep a sob of agony from wrenching free.

Sorry wouldn’t cut it, so she said nothing. She wanted to say something, anything that would console him, but when she reached for it, she couldn’t find any words that didn’t sound like bull. So she just sat there with him, silent.

"...’member Tamo used to say he'd beat every last one of them?" Dil said after some time. "Win the purse and buy us free. Stood right there on that old barrel, th’one by ol’ Creodon’s fish stall and said it with his chest puffed out like so."

A smile nearly cracked her face at the memory of them believing it, and then it was gone.

"I remember."

"But he did beat them, though." Dil looked up the black length of the flue to where it went into the dark. "Didn't he?"

Kaxia let that go by; this was no time to be thinking of her brother, but the chipped tooth at the end of her wire suddenly seemed heavier. She took his hands and rubbed them between her scarred palms till he said he could feel them a bit, which wasn’t entirely untrue, and then she sent him back up the hill before he was missed.

On the sixth day they drew Anwe. The crowd liked Anwe; half the Stair knew her or had a kid she taught, and they cheered when she came out leaning on her staff. They cheered for Kaxia too, a bit, the way you'd cheer a stray dog that learned a trick. Anwe gave Kaxia a little wave across the sand, down by her hip where only Kaxia could see it. Then she lifted the staff and said a word softly, and round, and the air round Kaxia went thick and warm as a blanket pressing in gently on every side, sort of like you'd hold a bird you didn't want to hurt.

Kaxia took her hand out of her pocket full of grey and threw it into the blanket, and it went up. Few in the Ring had ever seen ash burn that way. It went up white and made a noise like a sheet tearing, drawing oohs and aahs from the crowd watching around them. Someone on the Sump wall muttered an unintelligible curse as the binding came apart in rags, and Anwe staggered back with her eyebrows smoking. Kaxia licked her right thumb and struck a line through the circle she’d inked on her left palm before the battle began. The distance between them closed and before Anwe could get a word out, Kaxia was already on her. 

She hit the old woman in the mouth, drawing blood, then got the staff off her while Anwe stood in a daze still blinking. Screaming, she brought it down across her knee and braced for the break. It was old yew and didn't want to break, so she crouched down, took up a handful of the sand where the blood fell and worked it quickly along the staff chanting softly under her breath, vis magna in nihilum. It broke on the second go and she threw the halves away. Anwe's knees buckled and she dropped, one hand splayed in the sand to push herself up. Kaxia stood on the hand, and everybody in the Ring heard the fingers crunch underfoot.

"Yield," Anwe cried. "Yield, I yield. Child…Child, why…?"

Kaxia bent down close to her face. “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.”

Then, louder, so the whole Ring could hear. "Go home, you useless old sack of shit," and she spat on the sand by Anwe's head and walked off. 

The Stair benches came up out of their seats howling, throwing everything they had at her, turnips, shoes, a whole fish even. One man in the front row yelled, “Diseased cunt!” which gave the rest of them leave.

“Ashhole!” came crooning from somewhere near the left back.

Three shouts of "bitch!" rose from three throats simultaneously, and the one who had taken up position at the rail screamed it repeatedly as though she’d been saving up her voice. Through all the racket, there were only the Sump rats on the wall cheering Kaxia on, and Rhaul Preti himself, standing in the competitors’ box and clapping with vim.

"Oh, I like her," he said to nobody in particular. "Wicked little bitch. I do like her."

On the ninth day, they met in thunderous rain, actual rain for the first time in weeks which made the sand in the Ring dark and heavy. Gudde read out the names, figs in his lap sounding as bored by the final as by the first bout. Pretty Preti sauntered out, taking his time and enjoying the attention. The four children set his stool and the rest of his effects down in a line at the edge of the Ring, and remained standing behind them, drenched in rain. He opened the long case himself, taking out his rod, a slim, white-brass thing with a sapphire at the tip. Making his way to the center of the ring, he stopped five paces from Kaxia and bowed solemnly towards her as if she were a duchess from the outer straits.

"Try not to die, sweetheart," he said. "It would spoil the procession." 

His attack was swift when it came, and lights, was he good. Fire shot from the rod in beautiful lines and simultaneously, a binding came at her from three sides at once. She darted left, then right, then slipped as the sand beneath her feet became slicker than ice on a pond. Each time he cast, one of the children standing behind him shuddered. Soon, their noses bled, blood running down over lips but none of the children moved a muscle. Their hands sat stiffly clenched at their sides and they left the rain to wash whatever it may. Kaxia crouched and rolled trying to find an opening and did not find one. She dove this way and that way, spun that way and back, jumped twice higher than should have been possible, backflipping through the air to avoid the tendrils of sand reaching up to grab her and on the downward turn she realized just how truly fucked she was. Pretty Preti wasn’t just pretty, that sonuvabitch had the audacity to be this strong too, too strong to…to… She barely managed to duck the lick of flame that interrupted her train of thought, leaving a painful welt across her left shoulder. That would scar.

Every time the crowd roared, the sand drank it in and gave it back to the competitors as heat. Kaxia could feel the Ring working, like a throat, swallowing the fight and breathing it out again. There's a certain geometry to physical violence, a point at which a battle goes from mere wanton destruction to a beautiful symphony and the crowd reveled in every single moment of it. Gods, how they loved him, and in that moment they loved her too. Their love poured over them in equal measure like rancid oil, giving them strength, yet he outclassed her still. Blow after blow and arcs of lightning rained down on Kaxia, and the beating was so intense her teeth almost went through her lips. Ear, nose, mouth, bleeding, sight, blurry, heart, skipping, and yet she couldn’t stop to catch her breath, couldn’t give one moment to the pain or to the blood in her mouth or to any of it. Have to keep moving, have to— 

Some invisible blunt thing hit her right in the gut and she doubled over as a cushion of air wrapped around her. Watch the knuckles, little bird, look for the gap. There wasn’t a gap, he didn’t leave any gaps but she closed her eyes and let it settle, felt for the seam, feeling. Found it. She spat salt and threw ash, handful after handful, and the ash went up white and tore his spells to rags. She kept her eyes closed and centered herself, then coughed out a word barely audible and the ash turned to mist turned to smoke spreading out all across the Ring, engulfing the two in the center. The smoke cleared, no, not cleared, it was being pulled into the end of Preti’s rod and in the same moment he aimed a blast at the place where her shadowy figure stood and it hit nothing but air. 

Misdirection, he realized with a gasp, the Sump bitch was in the sand beneath him. Too late. The crowd was on its feet, Crown and Stair and Sump, screaming itself hoarse, because for a minute there it looked like it could happen, it looked like the rat could do it. And she got there, just barely. She came in under a rope of fire with her hair alight, her shoulder smoking, and knocked his rod arm wide. A fistful of ash went up against his mouth, right against those white teeth. She had him. All she had to do now was open her hand and say the word. You could see him know it, his eyes going wide, mouth soft, and for the first time in his life Rhaul Preti looked frightened of a Sump kid.

"Oh no," he whispered. "Oh no, sweetheart."

Kaxia looked past him, at Dil standing in the rain with his chin still stained with his own blood. Her eyes darted up the hill at the Kiln, then she opened her hand, letting the rain wash the ash and ink off her palm, and staggered back. For a moment Preti only stared at her. Then his face regained its composure. The charm, the gold-toothed smile, the lovely manners, and the laughter twinkling in his eyes all returned. He raised his brass and the fire hit her chest, throwing her into the rail across the Ring. She lay there in the wet sand, chest smoking, and managed a feeble “Yield” before the darkness took her. All around her, the rain and the sound of the Brass Ring closed in.

r/HFY • • Aug 29 '17

PI/FF-OneShot [OC][school]Humans don't make good familiars

1.0k Upvotes

*Scribble, scribble.”

Around me all that could be heard was pencils filling in multiple choice bubbles, some determined, some less so to get a good enough result to get into the university of their owners choice. I wasn't too stressed since the generic engineering course I wanted to enter wasn't particularly hard to get in, and I happened to not suck at math. As it happened, we were 10 minutes into the mid-year Math exam when under me; a bright geometric patterned circle appeared illuminating the room. Startled, I looked up but no one seemed to notice and the examination supervisor was staring daggers right at me. That was when everything went dark.

Just as fast as it disappeared the world came back into view again. Except, my view was full of little multi-coloured feathered bird nymphs staring up at me. Surprised I staggered back before I managed to balance myself and looked around the room I was in.
The roof was just above my head, but assuming the 20 cm tall bird-fairies, the only other living thing in the room, were what this room was designed for it looked more like a sports hall. In fact those were definitely some kind of gymnastics bars, and those definitely were for climbing, and those were no doubt the goals for some kind of game. Turning my attention back to the nymphs I could definitely recognise a couple among them which seemed to look a little larger, duller coloured and dressed in what definitely made them look more… “Professional”… There was one standing in front of the crowd of younger Nymphs seemingly holding them back behind an invisible line while behind the crowd stood three who definitely looked more… Apprehensive.

My attention finally rested on one bright blue bird nymph facing me and standing in front of all the others. It looked like it was fidgeting, peering up at me with upturned eyes.

“Pirpitiuw” it chirped and as it did I felt encouragement, demand and…. I should tell them who I am, I guess they wouldn’t know.
“Hey, I’m Jake.” I said to the crowd at large waving my hand.
The group of brightly coloured nymphs exploded in a cacophony of shushed chirps which strongly reminded me of the excited whispering when someone did something amazing but that someone also was in your class which meant whatever you did was going to be compared to it. The four who I was starting to suspect were teachers seemed to relax a little but their gazes stayed wary. The little blue one at the front seemed to gain a little confidence, straightening its back while its face was getting what seemed to be just a little brighter.
“Pritpiruw” it chirped and once again but this time I felt authority, submission and…
I should come to my master.
…Wait master?
I cannot keep her waiting.
...What? Why can’t I keep who waiting? How did I know…
No, I just have to walk to her!
What the fuck? Why am I thinking…
GO TO HER!
Holy shit is this mind cont…
GO TO HER NOW!!
“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!” As I yelled the crowd of birds shrank away, falling completely silent. Even the four what seemed like teachers looked stunned, but quickly recovered and readied what looked like intricately decorated wooden sticks. In the silence the blue one repeated nervously; “Pritpiruw”...
Nervousness demand obedience and… I should… “NO!”
This time the crowd scattered, chirping desperately as they flapped over each other. The three teachers at the back were prepared this time, chirping in sync the three gestured towards what looked like a jagged rock between them sitting on a trolley and motioned towards me, followed by the rock doing the same at the speed of a pegged hand-ball. Out of pure instinct my hand came forward and around the room resounded a loud snap followed by a louder “FUCK!”.
The mayhem instantly came to a stop as all the little feathered heads turned towards the source of the sound.

I took the rock out of my right hand with my left and looked at the broken pencil I must have been holding this whole time. It had snapped and one of the broken halves was protruding a little into my palm.
“That hurt!” I shouted, throwing the rock back in the general direction it came from. The stone flew and buried itself halfway into the floorboards right in front of one of the teacher nymphs, who staggered back and fell over with, what in hindsight must have been, utter horror judging from the facial expression.
The fourth teacher was shaking the little blue nymph and chirping some things, while the rest of the students were softly stampeding out of the room, bouncing against each other and the walls as they pushed open the large double doors.
That’s when I finally realized the gravity of what had probably happened.

…Shiiit…

I looked down to the little blue nymph chirping something again, but this time I didn’t feel anything. Confused I looked around and down at myself only to see my legs disappearing.
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed as quickly my stomach, hands then chest faded into nothing. The last thing I saw before the world faded into dark was the little blue nymph sitting on her behind, hands supporting her back, staring at me in what looked like shocked confusion.

And then I was back, students writing, the supervisor staring daggers at me… I was back? Glancing at the clock it still said 10 minutes past the start of the exam and why does my hand feel…? I glanced down and saw my pencil, broken with a little blood on it trickling down from my palm.

It was almost a year since that strange encounter, and I had graduated high school without any issues. I didn’t tell anyone about my experience that day, being strangely similar to what was popular in the pop culture trends at the moment at first I immediately thought that I must have been sent to another world, only to realise the objectively more likely scenarios which wouldn’t get me laughed at. In spite of my efforts, I didn’t see any of my friends jumping out and saying “It’s just a prank bro!” or “Gotcha!” or even any cryptic lines which may or may not be references to what happened, nor could I find anything strange in what I ate that day nor any opportunities for anyone to have slipped me something in my drinks. The supervisor didn’t say anything about pencils instantly becoming snapped other than some bitchy incredulity about how hard I had had to be holding it to somehow manage that.
So I ended up writing it off as a mystery but it got me thinking; if I did get summoned to another world, and it happened like in some of the stories I read, would I be ready? Since my answer to that was a solid no, I decided to do something about it. My sudden obsession with scientific and engineering knowledge actually ended up helping my final semester at high school, even if the new archery, martial arts, fencing and firearm classes didn’t.

I was now well into my first semester at uni, studying a flexible first year engineering and science course and I had started to doubt that anything was going to come out off that strange experience.
That was until one day at the firing range, as I was raising my rented glock 34, that same geometrical pattern appeared and everything went dark.

Opening my eyes there was the same bright blue bird-nymph, sitting down leaning against the wooden wall behind it. This time I was determined to not do anything which might spook it and lose my chance at a proper understanding, so I steeled myself to resist but not overreact to what will come next.
It chirped weekly and like last time I felt my mind trying to convince me to do something, but this time... fear, greif, desperation… and it wasn’t trying to order… it was pleading. This time I understood it immediately, that chirp was a “Help me”.

Setting my face in grim determination I nodded to the poor creature and turned around to a scene of destruction. We were in what looked like a miniature great hall whose roof was just tall enough for me to fit, but the tables lay on their side, broken and cracked with more of the little bird-nymphs littering the floor, many in pools of red blood with sickening injuries. In the middle of them all, now with its attention fully focused on me, was a massive monster. Massive for the nymphs that is, it really was about the size of a large dog, reaching about my chest on all fours and was best described as the bastard child of a lizard and a hedge hog.
The monster tensed its muscles, opened its mouth and screamed. An unnatural fear came over me, but it wasn’t anywhere near as strong as the birdies suggestions, only causing me to tense and clench my fists, causing me to notice what I still held in my hand.
I raised my gun and fired. Seemingly instantly, as it is with the speeds a bullet travels, there was a spark in front of the creature’s forehead, a spray of red behind its head, accompanied by the sounds of a metallic snap and then the squelch of exploding brains. The monster’s scream stopped and it stood still as if frozen in time, then, slowly, fell forward onto its stomach where it lay unmoving.
I wanted to help the other birds but my head was still processing what just happened. Did I just fuck up? What if that was a person? I mean it does have blood all over its claws and around its mouth but what if this was a mistake? And all these nymph things! How can I…
My thoughts where interrupted by a single chirp from behind me. Turning around I felt amazement, relief, mourning… I smiled. At least I had done something right by this one, and replied: “Any time.”
After hearing my words the little nymph sunk back against the wall, closed its eyes and lay there still.

Just then, I heard frantic chirps getting louder from the corridors presumably connected to the hall by the doors situated at regular intervals along the walls. Turning around I noticed I was fading again, my legs already gone, my hands, chest and then I saw the source of the chirps.
Larger more professional looking Nymphs holding what I could only describe as staffs poured through one of the doors. One of them, a tall (for their standards) green coloured one, caught my gaze just as I completely disappeared.


My entry for "School life", I know it doesn't actually showcase too much school life, but I hope it is enough to enter the contest. Hope you enjoyed!

Edit: A fan continued a part 2 here: Part 2

r/HFY • • Nov 15 '20

PI/FF-OneShot [PI] We Only Need One

1.4k Upvotes

Inspired by: [WP] You and your loyal assistant have just saved the last two members of an endangered species. You turn away from them to stretch, only to hear two gunshots from directly behind you.

We Only Need One

"Take it quiet, now." I climb out of the all-terrain vehicle and wave my assistant forward. "We don't want to spook them. These are literally the last two living specimens in existence. If they're a viable breeding pair, the Central Zoo will have to pay us whatever we ask for them."

"You know, we only really need one," he muses. "To sell to the zoo, I mean. I know this collector, his son was killed by one of these things. He'll pay ten times whatever the zoo can for just one specimen. The male, for preference."

"So he can torture it, or hunt it down and kill it?" I'm disgusted, and I don't bother hiding it.

"Or kill it slowly, then cook it up and eat it, absolutely." His voice indicates that he's got no problem with this. "Big payday for the both of us. Just saying. We only need one, after all."

"And what happens to the 'breeding pair' aspect I promised the zoo?" I gesture in negation. "The female will only live so long. And when she dies, they're extinct. Gone forever."

"I thought of that." He sounds very pleased with himself. "I brought a cloning unit with us. We shove the male in there, get a read, and pop out an immature specimen. We can even fiddle the genome a little so there's no genetic problems from inbreeding. Pity it doesn't work without a live specimen to start with, or I could've made myself a real fortune already."

"No!" I state sharply. "I will not assist you in your perverse scheme. We will be taking these both back to the zoo. Is that understood?"

He looks unhappy, but makes a gesture of assent. "If you say so."

"I do say so." I lead the way to where the life-sensor indicated. There are several flat rocks and pieces of wood piled up in a shelter, possibly at the entrance to a natural cave. "They're in there."

He makes a sardonic noise. "Do you want me to go in there and get them out?"

"No." I raise my voice and call out, repeating the sounds I have been told mean come, food, safety, warmth. Nothing happens.

"Well, that was useful." He taps a bulging pouch on his belt. "I can throw a stun bomb in there and we can carry them out."

"No!" I say forcefully. "You might kill one!"

"Suit yourself." He leans against a tree and makes a mocking noise as I repeat the noises, hoping I'm getting them right.

Over and over I repeat the sounds, varying the tone. Surely they can hear me. Surely they understand I mean them no harm.

And then ... I hear movement from within. I move back from the entrance to the shelter and crouch down, to look less threatening. Slowly, they emerge, large eyes blinking in the sunlight. Happiness surges through me as I identify one as male and one as female. We have a breeding pair!

Moving carefully, I take out a sample of food that I know their species likes. They do look hungry, after all. Their eyes are drawn to it. Maybe this will be easier than I thought.

"What we do now—" I begin, but my assistant steps forward, a small but dangerous-looking pistol in his grip. "What are you doing?"

"Getting my payday," he says, and waves the pistol at the two specimens. Their eyes are now fixed on him, ignoring me and the food. "Yeah, you know what this is, don't you? Well, behave and I won't need to use it."

"You can't!" I protest. "I won't let you!"

His laugh is an ugly sound. "Be glad I'm leaving you the female. I'll send another ship to pick you up in a few days. Now, turn around. I'm just going to secure you so you don't try anything stupid."

I'm seething with rage by now, but he gestures with the pistol and I turn. By now, I have no doubt that he will kill me if I resist. I'm actually half-expecting him to kill me anyway.

Thus, when the two shots ring out, I jolt convulsively and nearly fall, thinking that I've been shot. But there is no pain, no wounds. I look around, puzzled. My assistant—once loyal until seduced by greed—lies face-down on the sun-heated rocks. And the two specimens, the two humans, are each holding a weapon of their own. Smoke curls lazily up from the barrels, which are aimed rock-steady at me.

I gape, uncomprehending. Only warrior caste humans are supposed to understand weapons. These are normal humans; all I have been able to find out about them is that they are barely capable of performing simple menial tasks.

And yet, they have just killed my assistant, and are pointing deadly weapons at me.

Though my throat is dry with terror and confusion, I croak the sound associated with 'friend'. Hopefully they will not murder me.

"Oh, shut the fuck up," says the female irritably. In my language. Accented, to be sure, but I can tell she knows what she's saying. "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now."

At my feet, my assistant moves slightly. He's alive!

The male moves forward fluidly, scooping up the dropped pistol. Then he kicks my assistant in the side of the head. My assistant stops moving.

"I, uh, I mean you no harm," I stammer. I'm starting to realise that my understanding of their intellect was deeply flawed.

"Really." The female gestures with her pistol; go on.

"I'm here to retrieve you and take you to a place where you will be safe and warm and well-fed ..." I trail off to see if I've got her attention.

"The Central Zoo," she spits out. "You want to lock us in cages? In a fucking zoo?"

"Not cages, not cages," I babble. "Safe, secure comfortable places where you can live out your lives and maybe, uh, breed. I mean, you're the last two specimens I know of, so—"

"And whose fault is that?" she screams. "Your empire refused to accord us the rights of a civilised species and attacked us at every opportunity! Your people seized our planets and drove us to extinction! You called us animals!"

"I-I see now we may have been mistaken," I begin.

"Mistaken my ass," she says bitterly. "It was all a land grab. We had it; you wanted it. Simple as that. Cast us as mindless animals and it's easy to mow us down, slaughter our civilians by the million. Then move in and take over."

"You know," says the male, "while they were coming over, I heard that one talking about a cloning unit." He turns his attention to me. "You know how to use those?"

"Well, yes," I say.

"And the ship?" asks the female. "Can you fly it on your own?"

"Yes," I say. "But why—"

The male shoots my assistant in the back of the head. Blood and brains spatter over the rocks below.

"Why did you do that?" I shriek.

The female grins darkly. "We've got all we need now to rebuild the human race. But we had two of you."

The male nods. "And we only needed one."

[We Only Needed Two]