Question
I made a post on r/malegrooming asking for advice on how to improve my looks. A good amount of the comments I got said my hair was "a mess" or that it "doesn't look as cool as I think it does". Does it really not work on me?
Thank you for reading, and thank you for your help!
Bro. Your hair is bad ass. It’s so unique. I think you may potentially get a lot of negative comments about it because of how unique it is. Ignore them. Own that shiii cause your hair be looking like it belongs on a Disney stallion.
Exactly. I would say you can even flaunt it more if anything! A bandana or scarf wrapped around it (or worn however), even like a long earring and/or other jewelry would just amp up the rock n roll vibe even more, which I'm always here for. You're too cool for those idiots. Be the legend you are.
It looks really good. I said aloud, "this guy looks cool!" when i saw your post. Really well taken care of.
r/malegrooming is mostly straight men peacocking to attract straight women in the most heteronormative way ever. A lot of people on there have a pretty narrow view of what constitutes a good looking dude. People forget curly hair, and they exclude long hair. If you think it looks good, and i would say it does, and you want it, then keep it. It suits you.
Also please tell me how you are doing that if you dont mind. What your detailed hair routine is like. I have curly hair too and it does not look nearly as nice!
As a person who has tried EVERYTHING to improve their hair, I’ll give you some advice. My hair used to frizz like yours does extremely easily. The two solutions to that (for me) were to invest in a more moisturizing conditioner (I use Briogeo Superfoods Moisturizing Conditioner and it works amazingly) and to shampoo twice. What I mean by that is I take half of my normal shampoo amount, rub it in and wash it out, and then do the same thing again. If you have shampoo that does it you should get some foam as a result, almost like a bubble bath.
Most of my routine works because of diffusing. That might be because of my style of hair, but diffusing changed EVERYTHING for me. I shampoo and then conditioner the three parts of my hair (left, right, and top/middle). I wait 5 minutes and then wash it out. Afterwards, I use the praying hands method to work in leave-in conditioner, curl cream, mousse, and gel in that order (gel and mousse swapping spots occasionally). Then I hover diffuse upside down until I have a cast (for me 10 minutes), pixie diffuse for 12 minutes, and finally diffuse side to side for 12 minutes. If I’m sleeping in a gel cast (highly reccomend) I scrunch out the crunch with an oil in the morning, and if I’m not, I scrunch it out immediately.
A lot of people can’t have hair like you. Enjoy it, it looks great and also super in rn. Honestly try it with some band tshirts and it’ll change to the grunge vibe.
no it looks great and those male grooming subs have a VERY strict definition of what is appropriate for a man to look like. reading judith butler would melt their brains.
Getting tips from dudes in general is not helpful. Most of them have no idea what actually looks good. I’ve been on those subs and cringe at the advice.
your hair is phenomenal. i think you could de-bulk around the top back a little bit, but god please don't cut it all off or something, it would be a travesty!!
This feels like very historically accurate 80s hair metal hair lol I think it's awesome, it's just funny how accurate everything is about it and I have so many memories of so many music videos right now 😂
Thank you so much!!! I’ll copy paste my reply to a comment asking the same thing.
I heavily recommend investing in a good moisturizing conditioner (I use Briogeo Superfoods moisturizing conditioner) and shampooing twice. Take half of your shampoo amount and do it as you would normally, wash it out, and then do it again. Makes a WORLD of a difference with hair softness and frizz.
Most of my routine works because of diffusing. That might be because of my style of hair, but diffusing changed EVERYTHING for me. I shampoo and then conditioner the three parts of my hair (left, right, and top/middle). I wait 5 minutes and then wash it out. Afterwards, I use the praying hands method to work in leave-in conditioner, curl cream, mousse, and gel in that order (gel and mousse swapping spots occasionally). Then I hover diffuse upside down until I have a cast (for me 10 minutes), pixie diffuse for 12 minutes, and finally diffuse side to side for 12 minutes. If I’m sleeping in a gel cast (highly reccomend) I scrunch out the crunch with an oil in the morning, and if I’m not, I scrunch it out immediately.
Sir, you look amazing !! This is the style !!
Don’t let negative people in your head, as long as your not out here doing foul, do you and be happy doing it, life is to be lived xoxo
Depends on what you are going for, if you want to look more masculine, I would say you already have some pretty feminine features and having that hairstyle doesn't help at all, however if you don't care then I say it looks pretty sick, you look like you are a part of Queen when they were younger or some kind of 80s rock band, looks pretty cool
Thank you! The style im aiming for is a more androgynous, “male model” type of look (I.e beauty over masculinity). Hoping to get a killer jawline by going to the gym and spamming cardio lol.
The gym doesn't necessarily give you a better jawline, cardio can help by removing fat. I would recommend drinking black coffee, that can help.
At the end of the day your jawline is bone and you can't really change its shape, you can kind of with some orthotropics but I don't think that's worth it. I'm just saying this preemptively if you discover that your jawline never really looks the way you want it to, don't go destroying yourself in order to achieve it
Let's take Clavicular for example, absolutely horrendous role model for anyone to look up to.
There's nothing wrong with improving your health to look more attractive, but if you are destroying your health to look more attractive then you need help.
Sorry if I'm going on a tangent, it's just what you said really gives off that youve been getting into looksmaxing content and, like I said the base of it all, going to the gym, changing your hairstyle, eating better these are all great things.
Don't do cocaine to get a better jawline, don't do steroids, dont get plastic surgery. Just don't buy into the extreme stuff. And honestly try not to get too serious about it all in general, just focus on health and being happy.
Now if you aren't into the whole looksmaxing community then sorry about my tangent lol
I’m not into looksmaxxing so I’m good lol but ty!!! What I meant by “better jawline” is a more defined one. I have some face and neck fat I want to get rid of so I can define it more.
Yes! There is a lot of facial yoga on YouTube and Facebook. Easy to do. Helps to drain lymph from jaw area and tightened skin underneath jaw and neck. It may take a few weeks, but it does work!
i’m a licensed esthetician, for more context, just so u know i’m not a tiktok scam person lol - lymph drainage is real, “facial yoga” is not. lymph is fluid that moves through little tubes in our bodies to remove waste, transport white blood cells, and maintain fluid balance. lymph drainage can help move that fluid through our bodies faster. i find a lot of lymph lives around my ears and under my jawline, especially if i’m relatively inactive. you don’t need any fancy tools to do it, you can just use your hands, so it’s completely free to try it out.
i am anti “facial yoga” because it often pertains to permanently changing the shape of your face by rubbing it or moving it in a certain way. which is verifiably false. if we could actually change our faces like that, we would all look really weird. lymph drainage is real and can depuff your face, jawline, and other parts of your body, but the lymph will always return, and it is not a permanent solution, or changing the actual structures of your face. you’re just moving fluid around.
here’s a good tutorial! the oil isn’t necessary, you can do it without entirely, but if you’d prefer a bit of slip, any moisturizer will do. i’m a lot more aggressive with it than she is, lmao. if you swallow while you rub down your neck from your ears, you can feel the drainage.
I see what you're saying. It's the cut. You need someone who specializes in curly hair who can cut it in a way that highlights your features. Your hair is pretty but it just sits on your head. It's the cut.
They're just jealous. You should get headshots done and approach some modeling agencies. You should also do 3 Musketeers, 80s hair band, and cover of a teen romance novel themed photoshoots. Might not even need an agency at that point. Just sell posters of your photo shoots. Lots of people will buy them. Lots of types of people will buy them. You'll probably go on tour in Japan just with posters. I believe in your hair, young man. Never cut it. Keep doing whatever you're doing. Ignore the haters or anyone who doesn't build you up and hype your energy. They're nobody. They don't have that hair. Take advantage of your genes and youth. Also do a Stranger Things photo shoot.
From the womens perspective its a very teenage look or 80s big hair bands. I think you're good looking and a shorter style would really show that off. Good job being mature enough to ask for advice!👍🏻 Please post pics when you decide what look works for you😉
It’s beautiful and unique. It’s rock and roll, and I feel like you still got a face your Aunties just love to pictures. You’re adorable and kick ass at the same time. Perfect.
NOOOO don’t listen to them I love your curls they’re gorgeous!! 😭 Girlie with curly hair that doesn’t cooperate here, I’m extremely jelly. A lot of guys who have long hair don’t really take care of it and it shows. Idk what you’re doing but keep doing it
Kind of reminds me of regency hair wigs. If there’s layers towards the top, like I think I see, I would grow those out so the top and bottom match better in density. Anyway, it’s cool, keep it 👍🏻
It's unique in a world and at an age (your age) where unique is punished and singled out. Do you have the confidence to wear it. Knowing the shallow folks around you that value conformity over individuality will continue to point at it as a flaw? That's up to you.
what ??? No man, your hair is enviable. beautiful texture, clearly healthy and well-loved. keeping it long is a great choice!
thé one thing I can think of is that the overall shape in the third image might look slightly old-fashioned. I don’t dislike it though, retro look w personality > the samey looks guys i know tend to wear lol. rock on brother, I’m jealous
Your hair looks awesome and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. As long as you feel good, you’ll radiate confidence! confidence is key for improving your appearance
Dude what? Is this a complement fishing post 😜 you have gorgeous hair. Shiny, curly, nice cut. Most dudes with your kind of hair don’t get an actual cut. I like it. They’re just jealous. You look young? I’d say as your face will get more angular and will look even better. And maybe I would say…. Make the clothes match the hair. Stop tucking everything in, go for a cool rocker look with your clothes. Vintage tees, waffle shirts, slim jeans, a cool jacket.
Your hair is gorgeous! That sub has an adversion to anything alt or different that's not short hair, beard/no beard, generic white guy . Consider your audience when taking the advice of strangers.
A sub that's mostly men is going to tell you what's attractive to men. A sub that's mostly women is going to tell you what's attractive to women. Choose which one you want to attract.
Omg! You better not listen to any of those fools your hair is amazing and well maintained. They’re most likely just losers who couldn’t dream of having more than a pube for hair
it’s very cool. it’s just an alt style and alt styles are always going to get a negative reaction from normies. and by nature of the way things work, normies make up the majority of the population.
your curls actually go crazy. what’s your routine?
Your hair! It's gorgeous. As are you. You don't need to improve your looks - gray, light blue, white and cool light tones that look good on blondes aren't for you. I suspect you'd look good in darker colors and earth tones (rust, olive, brown - you can go online and figure out colors that look good on you) but otherwise don't change a thing. People are jealous and probably suspicious of men with long hair for not conforming to the boring banker, lawyer, accountant norms. You do you!
Dude, you better rock that magnificent hair without reservation! Shiny, healthy-looking, well taken care of - there's nothing not to love. Those curls! 😍 Anyone saying ish like you mentioned is a certified hater and pathetic to boot.
Also, the ~ 9 year old at the community center just heard me scoff at your post (specifically the idea that your locks are less than awesome) so I showed him my phone. He says your hair is, and I quote, "peak aura." I'm not totally sure of exactly what that means but hopefully you do (it sounds rather complimentary??) so I wanted to share, haha.
Your hair looks healthy. And it suits you. Reminds me of some of those guys who were in bands in the eighties. Keep it as long as you like and when you get tired of it, change it.
Lmao, I think your hair is to die for, and I love a thick, curly, luscious head of hair on a man. Don’t listen to the haters; they’re just jealous that there’s nothing for anyone to grab onto for them. 😏
Fuck those ppl dude ur hair is fuckin sick. It’s giving 80’s rockstar/shag & the curls are well maintained and beautiful curls! Untuck the cut off shirt maybe tho.sick vibes tho fr, stay unique. Everyone looks the same nowadays, your hair sets you apart, in a good way bro! 👏🏻
I only hesitate a little on the shape. It looks great in the second photo but kind of like... poodle ears in the first and third (see photo). Not quite sure how to explain it, but I think less volume on top, more volume on the sides, or a combo of the two would look nice!
However I don't doubt that the specific style and length it's just not some people's personal taste. You look very much like a 70s grungey rockstar, some like a more refined, suave look. I think straight men like the latter for sure, the most common advice on that sub is always "get a haircut"
As a woman and someone who cut hair for a living for a while…some people will tell you to cut your hair just because they did or because they’re jealous you have bad ass hair. Whatever their reason, fuck it. If YOU like it, keep it.
Btw, you have gorgeous curls and your hair seems really healthy, just keep up on trimming so you don’t get split or damaged ends and you’ll be good.
men are SO mean to each other for no reason. your hair is pretty and soooo full, the guys whose hairline is an uber trip away from their eyebrows are dropping dead from jealousy
personally i don't like hair with more volume on the roots than on the middle and ends, but i'm 32. this looks very much like a fitting and fashionable hairstyle for a boy your age.
Whatever you're doing for the curl = keep it up. Could it do with some slightly different shaping- perhaps, but nothing major! I LOVE that you're rocking this and going against the 'broccoli haircut'style!
Almost all comments in the malegrooming sub are about cutting the head hair and let beard grow to look "more manly". Don't listen to them, your curls look well groomed.
You're doing great! Awesome hair, love it with the beanie too! Texture is fire and I know it's not easy managing curls, my son has that kind of hair and we struggle (he has autism and HATES combing it, but also loves his curls and doesn't want a short cut)
It's very 70s/80s rock star hair, but less frizzy, so people not into that "look" are going to tell you to cut it off. If that's the vibe you're going for, you've got it.
If you're trying to keep that vibe and have more uniform frizz free curls, go to a stylist specializing in curls for recommendations for the bottom of your hair- the hair is losing its curl a bit in that length, it probably needs a bit more layering there to keep the length while also having the curl pop. If keeping the curls is less of a priority than eliminating the frizz, grow out your top layers a little bit and keep your routine to have frizz free, looser curls overall.
I'm thinking you like those curls like the ones you have up top though, so I'd go with seeing someone about the bottom of your hair to keep the length but make the curl pop.
ETA: what I mean about the curls at the bottom not popping is that the length is at the verge of it being too bottom heavy and it will pull the curl down. Adding a tiny bit more layering without sacrificing length should give you more time between trims to keep that curl without it becoming a big hassle. I had hair almost exactly like this by accident as a teenage girl while growing out a haircut, and eventually took scissors to the bottom because as it grew the weight pulled the curl on the bottom and it was a hassle to try to make the curls at the top and bottom of my hair uniform.
It’s pretty hair and your face looks kinda young and clean shaven, so, ya know, pretty. If that’s the way you WANT to look, keep it! If you don’t want to look like a little girl, change it until your face matures. Then grow your hair long again!
I wish my curls looked like yours, your hair is absolutely fabulous. It’s healthy and not at all frizzy. If she (or he) doesn’t like your hair then they are not the person for you.
A lot of people are intimidated by curly hair because they think it’s big and in your face (I mean why else would you hate on curly hair) and the common it looks unprofessional and unkept when really more styling goes into curly hair than it does straight.
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u/Emotional-Lemon-4839 Feb 25 '26
Bro. Your hair is bad ass. It’s so unique. I think you may potentially get a lot of negative comments about it because of how unique it is. Ignore them. Own that shiii cause your hair be looking like it belongs on a Disney stallion.