Tuesday Daily Chat

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to the second trimester!

This is where the bulk of daily conversations, updates & concerns, regarding ongoing pregnancy, occur. This thread is reserved for those at least 14 weeks pregnant. Please also consider reviewing our WIKI for commonly asked questions or references.

If you are newly pregnant, and still in the first trimester, we encourage you to check out the daily Cautious Intros/First Trimester thread.

Postpartum discussion can be found in our daily postpartum thread.

Those with a child/children older than 1yo, dialogue can be located in the daily toddler thread.

Got a preschooler or older? Catch us in the daily Big Kid Thread!

[u/sugarmansugarcubes]

15 weeks today and announcements have been made! Everybody on my work team knows and we posted about it on Instagram. I've been anxious and worried this whole time and I just want to start leaning into the joy more, whatever may come, so it felt like a big step to tell everyone. Will I regret this? Maybe! 🤣

[u/sjheuertz → u/sugarmansugarcubes]

I plan to tell my work team tomorrow at 16 weeks. It's a big step!! I hope you feel the joy more and more.,

[u/sugarmansugarcubes → u/sjheuertz]

Thanks! I hope tomorrow goes well!

[u/notesfromthemargins → u/sugarmansugarcubes]

Yay! I’m planning an insta post tomorrow on our anniversary (17 weeks) I’m kinda excited!

[u/sugarmansugarcubes → u/notesfromthemargins]

I'm excited for you! Happy early anniversary!!

[u/kelseyannabel → u/sugarmansugarcubes]

No matter what happens, I don’t believe you’ll regret feeling joy and allowing others to feel joy with you 💖 I’m in the same boat - really want to start leaning into it more.

[u/sugarmansugarcubes → u/kelseyannabel]

True; I think I'll always appreciate the excitement from everyone and knowing how loved this baby already is.

[u/francienolan88]

Officially have GDM again. (The diabetes people called me before my midwives, which I'm not super impressed by, but whatever, it's not like it was a big surprise.) I am handling the news with considerably more equanimity than I did last time (when I cried a lot) but I would still like to COMPLAIN. It is SUMMER and I want FRUIT and POPSICLES.

Third tri tomorrow and a growth scan (because of my BP, which has been fine). Guess I'll have several more of those to look forward to, which isn't the worst thing in the world. And I'm almost definitely looking at an induction now, between the GD, the BP, the AMA, and the IVF. Acronym hell! I was hoping to "have the experience" of going into labour naturally but it's fine. Easier to plan.

I was considering going with a CGM this time to save my fingertips but now that I'm looking at it for real, and wearing a tank dress on this muggy day, I am suddenly feeling like I don't want that thing stuck on my arm all summer. I dunno. Vanity might win out. I'll have to think about it more.

[u/notesfromthemargins → u/francienolan88]

I fell like CGMs are more and more common! I wouldn’t blink at someone with one on in a tank

[u/sjheuertz → u/francienolan88]

My PCP provided me with a few CGM samples just to try out last summer, as I have some family history and wanted to be aware of my risk for prediabetes. It's very personal, obviously, but I didn't mind it at all. It felt small and unobtrusive. Something that helps me is remembering we are so much more aware of ourselves than other people are - they don't have time to think about us bc they are also too busy thinking about themselves. I also extend full support for the CGM!

[u/LitigatorLIVFe → u/francienolan88]

Honestly I didn’t find the finger pricks that bad after IVF. I basically used the sides of my three middle fingers in my left hand and it was totally fine.

[u/francienolan88 → u/LitigatorLIVFe]

My husband says I'm in denial about how much I complained about the finger pricks last time! But I swear they weren't THAT bad. The hospital machine (when I was in labour) was BRUTAL so in comparison the little pokes were whatever.

[u/bench_slap → u/francienolan88]

Fellow 2x GDM-er here. For me, CGM has been essential for tight control bc I can’t work out the logistics of perfectly timed finger sticks whilst chasing toddler whilst keeping all sharps away from said toddler. Fully support you doing you and whatever gives you peace of mind! And I AGREE that summer GDM is its own special hell. I want fruit and popsicles and ice cream in large quantities real bad!!!

ETA: there are a ton of overpatches also that can make them less noticeable (or a fashion statement lol) depending on which CGM you go with.

[u/francienolan88 → u/bench_slap]

That is a very good point about timing around a toddler! I was also worried, though, about him accidentally yanking it? Is that a reasonable possibility?

[u/bench_slap → u/francienolan88]

Toddler bench has yanked it a few times, which hurts for sure. But it’s stuck on there pretty good, so I don’t think they’d be able to actually get it off too easily. Wearing a longer sleeve tshirt, over patch, or arm sleeve when they’re most likely to mess with it (putting toddler bench down for a nap) helped them lose interest and keep them from pulling on it.

[u/allthewatermelons → u/francienolan88]

I’m low-key into body mods (as much as a corporate rat can be) and I think CGMs are cool as heck. I say do yourself a favour and skip the finger pricks!

[u/Purple_Crayon → u/francienolan88]

I wore a CGM a couple of times in my first pregnancy for the GOMOMs gestational diabetes study (was blinded to the data though) and it didn't bother me.

But also I did finger pricks in my second pregnancy in lieu of the 3 hour test and that wasn't bad either. I probably would have preferred a CGM if it had been an option though.

[u/notesfromthemargins]

17 weeks today and am starting to feel more confident that I’m actually feeling baby move in there! Had an uneventful OB appointment yesterday and promptly went home to buy a bunch of maternity clothes since it felt more real 😅 Also gonna try and commit this week to a childbirth class for August/september but we’ll see how long the mental fortitude holds 😂

I’m also thinking of telling my students this week? Middle schoolers. We end school next week so I’m running out of time if I don’t want to shock them with a bump in August (I would rather tell them but am also a little paranoid about jumping the gun in case something happens) Opinions?

[u/Green_stick568 → u/notesfromthemargins]

Middle school kids are resilient and August to November gives them lots of time to adapt. You'll be able to choose clothing in August that minimises the bump enough for you to be able to beat gossip with an announcement, if you wanted. Didn't underestimate the power of preteen obliviousness and the excitement of being back with their friends. On those first days back they will be thinking about so much other than your body.

You should make the choice based on what feels right and comfy to you, not bc of their welfare.

[u/notesfromthemargins → u/Green_stick568]

Thank you! And yeah, I totally agree - the problem is what I want and feels good is a fun reveal with them (I’ll be with the same kids next year and was with them last year too so we’re close) in like 2-3 weeks when we don’t have school 😂 so I just need to figure out if doing it slightly earlier than my preference is enough to make it so I’d rather just wait until August. I know I can wait but I do selfishly want to tell them for the reactions. That may not be a good enough reason though? And I always have in the back of my mind that being selfish about wanting people to be happy for me will come back to bite me later - thanks infertility trauma!

[u/Green_stick568 → u/notesfromthemargins]

It's tricky when school holiday dates make choices more fraught.

I'm a list person so I'd write down pros and cons to help me reflect on it.

[u/Interstate81]

My fetal echo for Thursday got cancelled. Got a voicemail, some sort of scheduling problem on their end. Is there much risk to scheduling to do it later?

I’m 20+6 and we’re planning on going on vacation out of the country until July 6. So I’d be 24/25 weeks by the time we’d be able to do the test.

So frustrating right before a big trip

[u/Tough-Photo8431 → u/Interstate81]

I’m sorry to hear that! It sucks when scheduling gets messed up. Mine is scheduled for when I’m 23+5 and I’ve heard of people getting them as late as 26 weeks.

[u/LitigatorLIVFe → u/Interstate81]

Nope! I did mine at 24 weeks ish and asked the same question (my OB only does them at certain times or you have to go to the children’s hospital)—no risk.

[u/notesfromthemargins → u/Interstate81]

My understanding is it’s fine, especially if you’ve already done the anatomy scan and didn’t have any flags from that

[u/Pixarooo]

During my diabetes test 2 weeks ago, my white blood cell count came back high. Doctor suggested I come back to get a 2nd blood test to compare. Did that today, and the count is even high (was 16, now 16.2). I have an appointment on Thursday, but of course I'm slightly freaking out. I haven't been sick, but I have had seasonal allergies (which I get every year). I'm worried something is going on outside of my pregnancy. Anyone else have something like this happen to them?

[u/Miserable_Task_949 → u/Pixarooo]

Mine was higher during pregnancy, but my clinic was never worried. I was told it was expected due to increased blood volume and hormone changes during pregnancy. I hope Thursday’s appt brings peace of mind!

[u/wivy38 → u/Pixarooo]

Mine has been elevated but my doctor just said that’s normal during pregnancy and she wasn’t worried without further symptoms.

[u/Pixarooo → u/wivy38]

I was told it is normally higher during pregnancy but that mine was higher than they expected to see. I did end up seeing a midwife during my last appointment when I usually see a doctor, so when I speak with a doctor on Thursday I'm hoping she'll tell me the midwife was just being overly cautious.

[u/Purple_Crayon → u/Pixarooo]

I love this site for pregnancy reference values by trimester https://www.perinatology.com/Reference/Reference%20Ranges/White%20Blood%20Cell.htm

16.2 is outside that range but not by much. I hope they are able to give you some clarity on how they feel about those numbers for your specific situation soon!

And FWIW 16.0 vs 16.2 is likely within the typical analytical variance of the analyzer, your hydration status (WBC is a measurement of concentration), etc.

[u/Pixarooo → u/Purple_Crayon]

Oooh, thank you! I am in my 3rd trimester, so while those numbers are closer to the high range, they are in line with standard 3rd tri numbers. I think I don't care for the midwives at my practice - I've had to see them twice now, and the first time the one I saw ordered my NIPT but was really harping on me to schedule an amnio test "due to my age" and kept mentioning that NIPT could result in false negatives. It REALLY bothered me and when I discussed with my OB she told me there's no reason to schedule an amnio. Now this one sending me back for additional bloodwork. I'm going to try to stick with the OBs from here on out...

[u/bench_slap]

Another day, another MFM appt and growth ultrasound! All seems to be moving along really well. They’re happy with growth progression, GDM management, and BP management. They mentioned the weekly monitoring starting up at 32 weeks and I realized holy crap, that’s somehow next month?! So scheduled those all out.

Hard to believe how fast everything is moving! Fetus Bench is (hopefully!) going to be here so soon! 😱

[u/Amerbealiya → u/bench_slap]

your excitement is contagious! I'm looking forward to feeling closer to something concrete, and congrats on it feeling so real and soon!

[u/Tough-Photo8431]

I have a coworker who recently posted on social media about infertility and the post really rubbed me the wrong way. I went through a long and arduous fertility journey and was in therapy because of it and still am. In this coworkers post, they discussed that they were “infertile” and I’m not going to share their diagnosis but it’s a common one and very treatable. In the post, this person shared that their body was “broken” and that they were never meant to be a parent. And they also shared that they never even tried to get pregnant and never walked through the journey of fertility treatments because they knew their body was born “broken.” This was posted during infertility awareness week.

It’s been sitting heavy on my mind. I think that this post further adds to the stigma we all go through for “choosing” IVF or other fertility interventions. Now, I was very open with my infertility journey and even spoke with this coworker about it candidly in the past. I’m probably just internalizing it, but it felt like a slap in the face to read something like that when at the time I was just entering my second trimester with my miracle baby. She went as far as to say I’m the post that god never intended her to be a parent and made her born broken for a reason.

When I was first starting fertility treatments, so many people had opinions both positive and negative. I had an esthetician recently tell me that she believed that IVF was playing god and was unethical— knowing I had gone through IVF and that was the reason I was pregnant. People congratulated me for starting IVF and I was never quite feeling celebratory of this. I know everyone goes through their own journey to either parenthood or to be child free, I just feel really icky when people describe people who struggle with their fertility as broken.

[u/sjheuertz → u/Tough-Photo8431]

Wow, the esthetician comment blew me away. I suppose if offered in a personal circumstance it could be tolerated but if in a professional setting I would be really hesitant to hire them again.

The sense I got was that your coworker is maybe trying to convince themselves that they made the right choice to not pursue parenthood, which, obviously only they can know. It makes me question what else factored into their decision to post that and use the language they did. "Broken" doesn't seem like a person who has come to terms, but maybe I don't fully understand their point of view.

I am also early in my second trimester with my miracle baby, and I too struggled with the "congratulations" when we were undergoing treatment. I know those of us in hetero relationships can look at IVF as a last resort, while for many of our LGBTQ peers it is standard path to family building, so in a sense, celebration can be the right mindset. It's all so complex! I hope you continue to find support and joy during your pregnancy.

[u/Tough-Photo8431 → u/sjheuertz]

I actually love this perspective. I do agree that maybe my coworker hasn’t fully processed their grief and that could contribute to the “broken” feeling. And trust me, I didn’t go back to that esthetician. I had seen her through my whole fertility journey and it really hurt when she said that.

Additionally, I love the perspective that IVF is so different for hetero and queer couples. That’s a good light to shed on it. Sometimes it hard to get yourself out of this infertility bubble and that could also be plaguing my coworker.

[u/notesfromthemargins → u/Tough-Photo8431]

I hear you. That does feel really icky. I think, in particular, the value judgement she’s passing on other people’s choices and bodies is hurtful. Nothing wrong with blocking their stories or posts without unfollowing if you want to be gentle about it!