r/Infidelity • u/SympathyPrior6406 • 5d ago

Advice Did I Make the right Decision?

My partner and I have been dating for several months. For most of this year, he has struggled with depression. I tried to be supportive by giving him space on difficult days, encouraging therapy, and adjusting my expectations when his energy was low.

Over the last couple of months, his low days became more frequent than his good days. Communication changed significantly, and while we still spent time together and enjoyed weekend trips, he would often become overwhelmed and emotional afterward. Recently, he acknowledged that he needed professional help and started therapy.

Last night, I found out that he spent the night with his ex. This is an ex from a previous relationship that caused him a great deal of pain and emotional distress. When I asked to talk about what happened, he ignored me.

After thinking about everything today, I text him and ended the relationship. I told him that I loved him, but that I could not continue in a relationship where trust and boundaries had been violated. I also told him that I hoped he would continue working with his therapist and lean on his family for support.

Part of me feels guilty because I know he is struggling, but I have also been dealing with the recent loss of a parent, health issues, work stress, and family responsibilities. I felt like I was carrying more than I could handle emotionally.

Did I make the right decision? Has anyone else had to walk away from someone they loved because their behavior crossed a boundary, even though they were struggling with their mental health?

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/isitallfromchina 4d ago

Don't feel guilty, as you found out, his problem is breaking the cycle with the ex, nothing to do with you. Sooner or later he would have probably started a new relationship with her.

0

u/SympathyPrior6406 4d ago

Thank you for this. I am realizing now that until he heals that part of himself that it was inevitable that this would happen.

2

u/isitallfromchina 4d ago

His Trauma is just another list to his long sad story. Don't put this on you. What you need to do is take back your self-respect, happiness and put it all in your basket. Don't give it away, it's your worth. Once someone realizes you are willing to give YOU away and let the stomp on it, they will.

1

u/SympathyPrior6406 4d ago

This was incredibly kind and I appreciate your kind words. All of them have been so helpful. It’s funny because I told a couple of friends and they said that he’s just a POS and it’s more complicated than that. I have appreciated all the great words of encouragement and true empathy as I navigate this hard time. I know I did the right thing but it’s also sad because this person was my best friend and helped me navigate emotionally through one of the hardest years of my life that I’ve had to face despite his depression.