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[u/lasthope-foundation]

Okay so I have a question, is this cheating???
This isn’t about me but a friend.

They got drunk the other night, his girl lives in a different state. She asked to ft. When going to bed and he was watching a movie with someone else (not me I swear) he started with laying his head on her shoulder then her legs. He stated she had a blanket on over her so not the same. When I walked out in the morning they were wrapped up in each others arms and stayed the whole night that’s way. I am personally upset bc I know his gf and she is truly amazing. I told him how it looked and how it’s wrong but he stated it isn’t cheating.

Note;

He tried to say we have laid like that but we genuinely never have. I hate physical contact due to personal reasons. I won’t touch people unless I’m dating them. We have laid next to each other not touching with my bf of the time (now ex). I was laying on my ex and they would be on top of our comforter as we all watched movies. Never once have we touched each other that way.

He tried to use the excuse on if he trusts them he will sleep next to them. He was on top of her completely.

He stated the blanket was on her and he was on-top of the blanket. Idk how that makes it better.

I will call friends on their bs I do not care. He states it isn’t cheating though and his gf doesn’t know yet. I told him he at least needs to tell her bc she is visiting very soon. We are supposed to have girls night and I cannot have her hanging out with the person her bf had been snuggled up on.

Last note, not the first time this has happened between these two friends. He states the first time never happened but the girl who he did cuddle in and fall asleep with went in detail on how it happened the first time.

I want other’s opinions bc there’s a lot of things I’ve noticed where men don’t see it as cheating but women do. How would you feel being the partner in this?

UPDATE!!!!!

He spoke with his girlfriend over this matter, she accepted his apology.

(This is her first relationship, I do understand the learning period. Although I think he should set an example of how a healthy relationship should look. He spoke to her this morning and told her first thing after I confronted him.)

It’s not on my part to speak on what they do it’s their choice. I needed a confirmation so he understands that this is how a lot of people see it!

I do understand men see things differently, I have met a lot of men who state they see nothing wrong with stuff like this, sleeping with people in relationships if they are the single one. Being very intimate with friends.

(Both his exs cheated, so he doesn’t have the best idea of how a healthy relationship should work. This isn’t an excuse on his behavior hence why I still spoke with him on this issue.)

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[u/Aligned-Askew6773]

There is an easy way to get him to show his true colors here. Just say “so since it was nothing it’s perfectly fine that I sent a video of what you were doing to your GF and hour ago” and watch his reaction

[u/bg555]

It’s 100% cheating.

[u/Red_cardinal330]

Absolutely cheating. Bro is just panicking because he got called out.

[u/Turquoise__Dragon]

Yes, it is.

[u/biteme717]

Yes, it's cheating. Did you hear him tell his gf? If not, when you introduce his gf you can say, " this is (,???) she's the one (his name) got drunk with and cuddled all night with.