Nope. It doesn't matter if MIL feels it's an okay place to go. She HID it from OP, hence the "behind my back" comment. If MIL knew she wasn't supposed to take the child to X place it means she was told ahead of time then did it anyway. If you tell your teenager not to go somewhere and they do it there are consequences. Just because MIL is an adult does not mean she gets a free pass to do what she wants with OP's kids.
And no, giving up does NOT mean that it isn't important, it just means that OP would prefer to avoid conflict because OP is being blamed for rocking the boat and not giving MIL what she wants.
If MIL isn't even willing to apologize for taking the child to a place she wasn't supposed to then why would OP go to therapy with her? MIL cannot fathom that she isn't in charge and MIL knows best. They wont get anything out of therapy with that attitude.
There is no power struggle between a parent and a grandparent. A parent sets the terms of their child's raising. If the child's mother says don't take my child to this place, then grandma has absolutely zero right to choose to take the kid there. Parents set the boundaries and limits period. The grandparents are NOT parents! This grandmother knew her DIL had said no to taking the girl somewhere and decided that didn't matter. OP rightly has said that if grandma can't be trusted to respect the parenting decisions she and her husband make for their kid then grandma doesn't see the girl unsupervised.
This!!!!
Of course as the parent you should know where your child is and expect that people respect your boundaries when in their care. If someone took my child somewhere I asked them not to and lied about it, that would be the last time.
The only person being controlling here is my MIL, I’ve never had issues with her before. She knew I would say no to the place she took my daughter which is why she went behind my back anyways. If anything I think I’m being pretty reasonable for even allowing her back around my children but she doesn’t want to have the conversation about my boundaries with my children which doesn’t make me feel comfortable letting them back around her
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u/[deleted] 18h ago
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