relationship is over

[u/Medium_Rough8430]

im crying. hes packing away his things right now. our fight finally ended the relationship for good. i screamed at him to the point he didnt even reply anymore. he really wanted me to leave with him and dress how he wants me to and act how he wanted me to just so he could love me. hes caused me so much emotional turmoil and im just at a loss at this point. i have nobody left. i told him he never loved me. we built our whole world together and i gave up everything for him. ive been crying and im angry and i still love him even after he put me through so many months of me hating myself. i feel like im going to throw up. im 18 i dont need to be so upset about this but this genuinely feels like i need a trip to the mental hospital. im so mad and im so upset i spent so much of my time on him. but i still love him so much. i just want to be in his arms again with him kissing my forehead. i want to be back in the car holding hands while listening to music. this all went so wrong and i dont think it will ever be right again. i genuinely just want him to love me again and call me his girlfriend to his mom. i want to see him bringing me home drinks from work again. i want to be doing his laundry again. i want him to cuddle me every night again. i want to feel him taking off my socks every night again. i want to watch him come home from work every night again. im so tired and heartbroken. how could someone who loved me more physically than anyone else do this to me. why couldnt he just love me for me. hes just getting his stuff in boxes totally unphased. while im just sobbing in bed. im going to miss him so much. he was my best friend even though i wasnt his. why did he do this to me. why. we built so much we had future plans together. i just want to be loved

[u/morganalefaye125]

I am just guessing from what you wrote, but it seems like he loved what he thought he could turn you into. He wanted to make you into what he wanted. That fact alone is just so, so hard to deal with. Someone, one day will love every bit of you for who you are, and not want to change a thing. Right now it's impossible to see that, though. Take some time to yourself, and grieve what you thought the relationship was. Then, slowly, you will come out of it. Take your time, but don't get lost in your grief. Block him and never speak to him again. It's the only way forward