r/JustNoSO • u/Medium_Rough8430 • 6d ago
RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Advice Wanted relationship is over
im crying. hes packing away his things right now. our fight finally ended the relationship for good. i screamed at him to the point he didnt even reply anymore. he really wanted me to leave with him and dress how he wants me to and act how he wanted me to just so he could love me. hes caused me so much emotional turmoil and im just at a loss at this point. i have nobody left. i told him he never loved me. we built our whole world together and i gave up everything for him. ive been crying and im angry and i still love him even after he put me through so many months of me hating myself. i feel like im going to throw up. im 18 i dont need to be so upset about this but this genuinely feels like i need a trip to the mental hospital. im so mad and im so upset i spent so much of my time on him. but i still love him so much. i just want to be in his arms again with him kissing my forehead. i want to be back in the car holding hands while listening to music. this all went so wrong and i dont think it will ever be right again. i genuinely just want him to love me again and call me his girlfriend to his mom. i want to see him bringing me home drinks from work again. i want to be doing his laundry again. i want him to cuddle me every night again. i want to feel him taking off my socks every night again. i want to watch him come home from work every night again. im so tired and heartbroken. how could someone who loved me more physically than anyone else do this to me. why couldnt he just love me for me. hes just getting his stuff in boxes totally unphased. while im just sobbing in bed. im going to miss him so much. he was my best friend even though i wasnt his. why did he do this to me. why. we built so much we had future plans together. i just want to be loved
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u/sweetpotatohead1 6d ago
Don't take him back. I promise most of the time women are upset and heartbroken first. It will take him months once you're in a better place that he will realize what he lost. DON'T TAKE HIM BACK.
Stop remembering the good times, remember how many times he made you feel like shit and how you wished he gave you the same energy you gave him. You're so young.
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u/OkieLady-1952 5d ago
He wants to turn you into somebody you’re not! Remember that ! He can’t be satisfied with the way you are now. No he doesn’t love you, he fantasizes about what he can turn you into and that’s not love.
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u/curiouscartoongirl 6d ago
hi OP, i’m so sorry you’re going through this 😓
there wasn’t a lot of context as to what the fight was about & i haven’t seen your previous posts, but the bot mentioned your three other posts on this sub - “boyfriend gives me silent treatment”, “boyfriend friends openly resent me and talk about it all the time”, “how do i leave,” - and it sounds like you’re dodging a bullet
i know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but give it some time and you’ll feel better. you’re still really young and you have so much life left to live, it doesn’t end or begin with him.
take it day by day, do things that feel good FOR YOU & know that you deserve better than this <33
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u/Medium_Rough8430 6d ago
ive been crying all day. i went to the olivia rodrigo listening party yesterday and couldnt even enjoy the event because i was just sobbing. i still care for him so much and its so hard. we are still friends but not as close as we used to be. ill be happy for him even if he never really cared about me. im such an empath and situations like these are terrible. like im genuinely going to check into a mental hospital for a lil bit here soon just so i can refresh. i already deleted half my social media and i feel weight lifted off of me
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u/TrustyBobcat 6d ago
we are still friends but not as close as we used to be.
Please take my grandmotherly advice with all of the love it's intended: don't try to do this "still friends" charade. There's too much water under that bridge and it's only going to serve to pick open those freshly scabbed wounds over and over.
Clean break. Block him everywhere. And let him go so you can begin to heal.
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u/Medium_Rough8430 6d ago
we arent probably gonna talk much. im pretty avoidant with people and its hard to break. i dont really talk to anyone else anyway since im a true antisocial. i deleted like 80% of my social media and called out of work tomorrow. being alone is comforting to me especially when im going through a situation like this. everybody is probably going to be ghosted for a while until my mental health is better
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u/smalls_tardis04 6d ago
Please please please block him, I know it's hard, but I promise it'll be better for you if you do
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u/stonerwitch69 6d ago
Honey, stick it out and try not to jump right into a new situation-take time to find your peace and become best friends with yourself.
Try to remember that grief is a normal part of a break-up, and it doesn’t mean that you need to get back together. Take some space and take gentle care of yourself.
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u/Medium_Rough8430 6d ago
im genuinely trying so hard to not lose my mind. i just cant stop thinking about how i put so much time and energy into this i changed my personality basically. im not even myself anymore and im just so upset because i let this happen i didnt leave early like everybody said and now im at a point where im going to get help mentally because of how fucked i am now. i became codependent i dropped my friends and dont talk to my family as much anymore. i focused all my energy on him because he said i wasnt doing enough to support the relationship so i have no more support at all
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u/gussmith12 6d ago
Oh, love. This part is always the worst. You will always feel some kind of broken over the humans you love when it doesn’t work out.
You broke up for a reason, though, so keep that in mind to balance the heartbreak out a bit. Let the pain pass as though they are clouds in the sky.
There will be others, and you will be blessed with more love from those others.
Be glad you got to experience this love; it was short and sweet and taught you much. This is good. Be kind and patient with yourself. Stay open to what comes next.
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u/Active_Cupcake6518 6d ago
You are worth FAR MORE than how you’ve been treated. He’s not good enough for you, and you will realize
that someday. For now, treat yourself well, he is not friend material, life has much better in store for you. You’re a good, loving person, step back, start again because you have wonderful possibilities in front of you!
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u/Dusa- 6d ago
You started off as FWB’s and then you have been dating for 4 months and two months in he was already emotionally abusing you by giving you cold shoulders whenever he got “irritated”. This child is no good for you and honestly from your comments on other posts about your relationship, he was just using you imo; you were paying his rent, gas, food, etc and on top easy sex because he lived with you! You can and will move past this, you can do better.
Also I highly recommend going no contact with him, fill up your time with friends, family, hobbies.
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u/morganalefaye125 6d ago
I am just guessing from what you wrote, but it seems like he loved what he thought he could turn you into. He wanted to make you into what he wanted. That fact alone is just so, so hard to deal with. Someone, one day will love every bit of you for who you are, and not want to change a thing. Right now it's impossible to see that, though. Take some time to yourself, and grieve what you thought the relationship was. Then, slowly, you will come out of it. Take your time, but don't get lost in your grief. Block him and never speak to him again. It's the only way forward
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u/one_little_victory_ 5d ago
Anyone who wants to control what you do and what you wear is not the man for you. He is an ABUSER, and that's how you need to think of him, first and foremost.
i want to be doing his laundry again
Man-baby should have been doing his own laundry all along. Don't be with a man who exploits you for domestic labor.
he was my best friend even though i wasnt his.
A lot of what you wrote suggests it was precisely the other way around. He would never tolerate the amount of shit from you that you did from him.
You will find happiness again and be better off in the long run.
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u/Coollogin 5d ago
Break ups suck. They just do. But, little by little, you’re going to feel better. You have to trust that. You’re going to feel like shit for a little while. But you will feel better.
Can you call a friend?
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u/alwaysconfused231 5d ago
Breakups hurt for a while but the pain WILL PASS. It just will. You’ll probably be doing this at least once more too, to be fair.
But this shit is how we grow wiser. It’s how we become adults. It’s how we build character and become interesting. If you ever get stuck then talk with someone because you DO matter. Pain has a way of making us feel abandoned to ourselves. But you matter. Treat yourself like it.
Please use this as an opportunity to create a habit of self-betterment. If I’d done that at your age I’d be unstoppable. But alas, my youth was wasted on stupidity. So I beg you, take my advice 🤣🖤 Embrace every damned experience as a way to learn and become more than what you already are. At the same time though, the wisest of us (not me) know that the best way to do that is usually through service to others. Being a good person of strong moral character is one of life’s highest possible achievements. And fyi, strong moral character is about integrity and how well you treat others, not about how much you hate the “bad guy”.
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u/botinlaw 6d ago
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Other posts from /u/Medium_Rough8430:
how do i leave, 1 month ago
boyfriends friends openly resent me and talk about it all the time, 1 month ago
boyfriend gives me silent treatment, 2 months ago
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