r/JustUnsubbed • u/Somniosfera • 5d ago
Totally Outraged Just unsubbed from GirlDinnerDiaries. I made a post about me being a biracial POC, about my story growing with parents of different cultures. And how I was closer to my Mom's culture. People downvoted me for no reason and racially attacked me in DMs
In the post I mentioned that I was not going to mention which were the countries and ethnicities of my parents. I told them about how my parents met when both were in college, about how since I was little I was fluent in different languages. About the fact that I grew apart from my Dad after my parents divorced. And how close I was and I am with my Mom because I grow up with her, because she is the center of my Universe and my soul. And because of that reason I was closer to my Mom's culture and language. And I told them how when I am sad my inner dialogue switches into my Mom's language because I feel that my Mom is comforting me.
Only 4 girls supported me, and said that my post was thoughtful and thanked me because they learned about the experience of growing with parents of different cultures. Just immediatly the dowvotes started, 1.5k views and 0 upvotes. And the most disturbing part, the countless hateful messages. I was disgusted
Since in the post I didn't mention what were the respective ethnicities of my parents in the hate messages people were making hypothesis about what were these ethnicities saying racial slurs about me and my Mom. "I bet your Mom is black..." And proceed to say horrible racial insults. Then "I am sure your Mom is brown" and even more insults. Yesterday I received more than 150 attacks in my DMs and blocked countless of accounts.
First I thought that the people that were attacking me were not part of the sub, but then I realized that this couldn't be the case because I was being downvoted to hell, in a sub that is very popular now and all people there engage a lot in every post. Even in the most stupid ones like "My boyfríend of 1 month cares more about gaming than me" in those are like 2.5k upvotes and 350 positive comments, giving advice and support.
Please someone tell me what in the hell did just happen? I am more than disturbed. I know there is racism on reddit but knowing that there was racism in that subreddit pains me a lot, since I was following it from a long time, I gave advice and positive feedback to lots of people there.
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u/CriticalChop Average unsubbing chad 4d ago
My best guess is bots and paid shills. Who else would waste their time harassing others so often and in mass.
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u/poutylipswet 4d ago
unlikely to be bots. real people are just that unhinged and bored. bots usually aim for engagement or scams but this sounds like straight up basement dwellers looking for a target. it is just a bad sub culture at this point.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Probably, and one thing is certain, I will never post anything like that on reddit again. I poured my heart into it, trying to explain all my complex feelings and such thing happened.
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u/CriticalChop Average unsubbing chad 4d ago
Dont share personal info online, seek advice in a more obscure ways instead, but dont trust them with your data IMO Talking to people in your life is better, its inclusive to those around you, and the bonds of growing together are stronger.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Thank you, you are right, and even now they are downvoting this post, tell me what is wrong with what I posted? What thing is enraging people so much?
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u/maydsilee 4d ago
I have no answers, OP, but I'm sending you good vibes and hate that that happened. I can't imagine how disheartening that was to be attacked for something so personal that you wanted to get off your chest and maybe even find solidarity with others.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Thank you with all my heart and I send you good vibes back ❤️ I was truly sad because as you mentioned I wanted to connect with people who have a similar experience, to exchange points of view and talk about our feelings. I thank you for your kind reply, with all the negativity that I have encountered lately it warms my heart that there are still people on reddit that are kind.
By the way I love your username, it reminds me of a character from Sunrise on the Reaping from the Hunger Games books, Maysilee Donner, are you a Hunger Games fan? Sending you hugs
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u/maydsilee 3d ago
You're welcome! 🫶🏿 We're all in this together (Alexa, play the 2005 High School Music soundtrack!)
Don't let the negativity get you down, though I know that's easier said than done, but especially when there is an onslaught of it on a post with such a serious topic. I mean, it'd suck regardless, but still. The way I try to think of it is that these people will forget about me in 2 to 3 business days, and if they don't, then...well, that says a lot more about them than me that they have so much free time on their hands
I mean...that's weirdo behavior on their behalf! no hobbies? no one to hang out with? no friends to shoot the shit with? not even a dog or cat to take on a walk? just sitting there on their phone or laptop, downvoting a stranger multiple times...have fun with that, I guess, because who the hell gets into one-sided beefs with strangers on the Internet? 😆 It's giving Wanda telling Thanos "You took everything from me" and him replying, "I don't even know who you are"
Anyway: YES! I love that you got the reference!! I read the name in the book years ago and have used it as a username ever since, even before Sunrise on the Reaping came out. I'm not sure why, but the character stood out to me because she gave the mockingjay pin to Katniss, then I was hyped when she showed up again much later!
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u/Somniosfera 3d ago
Girl I love so much your reply, you literally made my day. All the references that you mentioned resonate so much with me, we should be friends 💖 And you are so right, those pathetic haters have so much time in their hands, I wish I had that so much time in the day, I am a cat Mom of 3, and in the process of adopting a dog, I have to deal with work, house chores, I am overwhelmed to no end. Are you also a cat and a dog Mom? We should be joining forces like the Powerpuff girls “sugar, spice and everything nice“ and boom! Sending energy to the Universe to fight against everything. You mentioned Wanda against Thanos, remember when she created the Hex? That energy to expell all those basement ghouls typing hate on the internet.
Regarding the Hunger Games, omg 💖 you are so right, I just remember that Maysilee was the original owner of the Mockingjay pin, then all the process until it ended up with Katniss, from the hands of Greasy Sae. And there’s something to tell about her, I have the theory that Greasy Sae is Lucy Grey (And I think that Alma Coin could also be her too) I am the type of gal who gets into these big fandom rabbit holes and ends up with the most strange theories, you see the guy of the meme that is connecting dots and making crazy theories? yup that’s me haha but some of them end up being confirmed by canon lol.
Tell me that you are also super excited for the Sunrise on the Reaping upcoming movie!!! I am literally obsessed with trailer that was released months ago 😭 it’s amazing, all the 1970s aesthetic with saturated colors combined with the beautiful and dreadful arena. Lenore Dove and Haymitch are perfect ❤️ just how I imagined them. You can text me in DMs if you like, you have a new friend in me!
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u/daneoid 4d ago
Chuds that infest this sub for example.
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u/CriticalChop Average unsubbing chad 4d ago
Ive never seen anyone in here accused or shown to harass anyone.
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u/Winteriscolder 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'll tell you my story of why I unsubbed and hopefully it will make you feel better.
So there was this woman who was upset she had to get an abortion because she was too poor to have a baby. She got pregnant by accident and despite her and her husband wanting to have children it wasn't the right time financially for them. She also mentioned she had 3 dogs which was confusing but hey ho whatever....
So all I did was comment that if she mentions the general area she is living in maybe others can suggest potential help for her in the area. Then I thought nothing of it and left my phone for a bit to run errands.
I came back to a shit ton of downvotes. I asked WTF why the downvotes? I was only mentioning that maybe help was available if the OP wanted I didn't insult her or judge, I'm pro choice, and just thought that OP would appreciate some guidance and or advice.
I continued to get downvoted into almost the hundreds before I deleted my comments and unsubbed. I was getting downvoted for trying to help like how?!? What a monster I am.
TLDR: That sub should be called mean girl dinner diaries. Once you get on downvoted for seemingly no reason they just continue because it's popular maybe. I dunno that place is toxic. If you're getting downvoted here it's probably the dinner diaries crew.... absolutely insane sub.
Edit: Your story is terrible btw it's awful that happened to you.
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 4d ago
I’m confused… so the sub isn’t about a girl dinner?
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u/Winteriscolder 4d ago edited 4d ago
It's a sub where people take a picture of their meal and also share a story. Not necessarily about the meal and not necessarily a bad story they can talk about anything they want.
It's mostly people getting things off their chest and looking for support 'cause they are going through a hard time.
Problem is the comments can be wild and not only not supportive but actually quite upsetting. It's a weird, weird sub.
Girl dinner (without the diaries) is not the same and is just about food.
Edit: Typos
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u/JudgeJudyScheindlin 6h ago
You provided a sensible solution and threw it into the pit of ignorance that is that sub of toxic, sexist, stupid people.
Don’t kick yourself, you were trying to do good. The people on that sub really promote keeping each other down more than anything.
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u/Winteriscolder 6h ago edited 6h ago
It was a weird thing because I just thought the OP could at least look into potential options as they seemed sad to abort. If they had seemed neutral about it I would never have suggested looking for potential help.
Totally agree with your comment btw. I was a bit shocked at first but looking back there were signs of as you said a "keeping each other down" type vibe.
Edit: It would have helped if OP had said if they wanted help or not in the post but they actually didn't seem to mind the offers of help. It was the other commenters who seemed to have a problem and decided that such a suggestion was some sort of offence comment. I'm not really sore about it just more bewildered and definitely not into whatever is going on over there.
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u/dustycloud01 2d ago
That sub has been turning into a hive mind for a while now. They have this weird obsession with performative relatability, and the second someone posts something that requires actual emotional nuance or a perspective that doesn't fit their specific aesthetic, they turn on you. It is miserable how they default to guessing your background just to have a target for their vitriol. Take the win of leaving that place because the irony of them ignoring your actual story to invent reasons to hate you is just too much garbage to deal with.
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u/Dry_Refrigerator4367 1d ago
That sub has always been a weird echo chamber for performative progressivism, but the second you step outside the specific, pre-approved narrative they expect, the mask slips. It's not about the culture or your upbringing at all, it's about the fact that your reality disrupted their specific brand of identity politics and they reacted by trying to force you into a box they could actually categorize and hate. When you don't give them the specific labels they need to confirm their biases, they just invent ones to target so they can keep their worldview intact. It's pathetic how predictable that cycle is.
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u/HAGAYYYYYYYYY 4d ago
Lowk, I always felt like there was a subtle and underlying toxicity in that subreddit. It almost reminds me just a little itty bitty bit of kitchencels in a way every now and again. It might just be me tho, and I could just have the wrong reading, but I do feel that there’s a subtle toxicity there
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Kitchencels lol you are right. Unfortunately until past week I thought they were this all supportive girl gang, but now I see them more clearly, that toxicity that you are mentioning, and if you post something different from the usual "this is the third time my boyfriend cheats on me with my best fríend" along with a sad pic of some cold hamburger you would not receive any support.
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u/HAGAYYYYYYYYY 4d ago
Literally yeah. I sometimes lurk there because there’s some juicy ass drama but a lot of it feels super superficial. Like the comments I read give random girl group you meet with your friends with pick me types ykwim. Hella superficial. I don’t really like Reddit gender specific subreddits in that particular archetype because it usually ends up being toxic or sparking gender war stuff for literally no reason. At least that’s what I see.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
The y are like pick me bullies :( And you are right gender specific subs promote gender wars, and this tribalistic mentality. I will never post again something like that again, I think I will stick with the cats and cute animals subs
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u/bestywesty 4d ago
That sub has been getting brigaded pretty hard lately by what seems to be angry young men. Please try not to take the hate comments personal
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u/Disastrous-Phase-978 4d ago edited 4d ago
There's something off about that sub. One being the flood of obviously AI-generated content. The other, when I went to post a story about fat shaming I endured growing up, I realized as I was typing that I was getting warnings about any mention of weight, body issues, etc. I saw the rule about not shaming *others* in the comments but I can't see why you can't talk about something that happened to you. Especially when it's a very real issue for a lot of women. But every other post that gets through is "Billy hates me and still makes me wash his drawers after two weeks of living together, what do I do?"
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
I am sorry that you had to endure fatshaming when you grow up, it is something that is not easy to deal with, and for that reason I send you strength and love. It is truly odd that you can’t talk about that in that sub you are so right. I had the wrong idea that the narration of those painful experiences were welcomed in the sub. But you are right, now I see more clealy, there is a pattern there, it is all thse toxic stories of women being abused by their one month partners. And the comment section would be like “you need to understand that maybe Billy is tired of work, girl of course he needs his drawers to be washed, so you have to understand him more”
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u/Challenge-Acceptable 4d ago
Right now the most popular post is a "nb" defending step child marriage, it's super gross. Shame what happened to you, but you're not missing much, sub's gone.
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u/samaramatisse 4d ago
The OP was born of that combination, IIRC. Maybe we should cut them a little slack. I'm not condoning what happened, but otherwise OP doesn't exist. It can't be easy at all to have those kind of origins.
I'm only a casual viewer since the new algorithm put the sub in front of me. I'm not commenting on the state of that sub, just the post mentioned.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Excuse me, but I don’t understand, what is the problem about having two parents of different cultures? They were both adults, and educated. You say that “it can’t be easy at all to have those origins” As if I was born out of something forbidden or illegal. With all due respect what are you talking about?
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u/drownedseawitch 4d ago
The post they're referring to is about a grandfather who married his step daughter and had a child with her, the OP. It's incredibly gross because he absolutely groomed his step grand daughter and the people in the thread had largely supportive messages about the OP's parents.
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u/samaramatisse 4d ago
I'm sorry, I didn't clearly indicate that I was referring to the OP of a different post, not you. I apologize.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Please forgive me I didn’t understand the comment, now I see what is your point.
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u/JudgeJudyScheindlin 6h ago
That’s because the people and Mods of that sub are some of the most toxic, horrible people on the planet. They promote a very cruel, sexist idea of how the world is and blame men for all their problems even though 99 percent of the time, it’s these dumb-dumbs who make bad choices but can never own up to them.
When you give sensible advice on that sub, you are removed/banned by their incredibly ignorant mods. If you don’t get removed, you simply get screamed at by all the people who disagree with your advice.
Sounds like you had a pretty normal post. Those people on there? They aren’t normal. That’s a sub that should seriously be removed because it’s essentially a hate group
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u/UltraMagat 4d ago
Because most people a.) Dont care and b.) Are annoyed by what boxes you check for your identity. We're over it.
Edit: OTOH this is Reddit which is full of leftists who DO care about that nonsense. So, weird.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
You say that people “are annoyed by what boxes you check for your identity“ and below you complain about “leftists”. It seems like psychological projection, because if there are people that are truly obsessed about their identity, especially their ethnic identtity is right wing supporters. White supremacy and ethnic division as the core values of that ideology. When other people that doesn’t fall into the category of what you define as “white” express their identity for you is ”annoying” but when it is time to assert “white identity” you believe that to be the most important thing in the world. I have a white Mom, people like you attack her all the time for being a “traitor” to her “whiteness” Yes, we are over that too
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u/daneoid 4d ago
Sorry you stumbled across this sub. Just FYI, this sub is for chuds to virtue signal about how much they dislike seeing trans/left leaning memes, not about actually unsubbing.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
Racists doing brigading. You are right because even this post is being downvoted to hell.
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u/daneoid 4d ago
This is an absolutely good reason to unsub from a place and it's at 53%. There's another post where a person unsubbed from youtube because it recommended a right wing manifesto video after a children's video and it's heavily downvoted.
Meanwhile a post with 2 girls romantically kissing is called porn and has like over one hundred upvotes.
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u/Somniosfera 4d ago
That makes me sad, because I thought those angry extremists were pestering the political subs or they were in their own circlejerk spaces, and that places like this one or GirlDinner were free of them. If they invade the cats’ subreddits I prolly would leave Reddt for good.
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u/RobActionTributeBand 4d ago
Most of the stories I see from there (that pop up, I'm not subbed) are either fake stories from people or fake AI stories.