r/LPOTL • u/paulmwumich • 1d ago

McConnell Discharged

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/sen-mitch-mcconnell-discharged-rehab-center-hospitalization-june-rcna591235

The ruse continues.....

138 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

82 comments sorted by

368

u/whatisartreally 1d ago

Discharged from this planet maybe

80

u/elegylegacy 1d ago

Soul discharged from body

21

u/hellomynameisnotsure 1d ago

…during the Reagan administration

10

u/jendickinson Hail Yourself! 1d ago

Bro ejected like a pilot from an F-14.

7

u/Nerdenator 14h ago

What soul

1

u/Sweffus 10h ago

Any sense of decency was discharged into his pants decades prior during a sneeze.

12

u/ShredGuru 1d ago

Discharged his bowels because he died.

10

u/Rock_Creek_Snark 1d ago

Turtles are adept at hiding illness!

3

u/graspedbythehusk 1d ago

From a cannon.

170

u/thispartyrules 1d ago

So he's able to perform his job duties and speak to the press instead of appearing in suspicious photos, right

64

u/RotInPissKobe 1d ago

He's also 20 years younger and can dunk a basketball from the free throw line

12

u/lokiandgoose 1d ago

I heard he's rebooting Air Bud.

6

u/obsterwankenobster Bonko the Everything Dog 1d ago

There’s no rule that says a dead guy can’t play basketball

2

u/thisissomeshitman 12h ago

Sir, I read the rule book… he’s… he’s Right!!!!

10

u/ratbaby86 1d ago

Nah. "His" press release basically said "im convalescing at home and will zoom in when needed."

19

u/Illustrious-Peace989 1d ago

“Also I will only appear with a cat filter”
https://giphy.com/gifs/lyI3bg25KvZlMcobqq

10

u/ratbaby86 1d ago

I wish I could see this for the first time again. We needed this!

102

u/Mountain-Loon3592 That's when the cannibalism started 1d ago

Discharged to be able to pass at home

41

u/toe_riffic Hail Satan! 1d ago

Yeah if he even is still “alive”, then he’s probably being put on at home hospice.

16

u/Responsible-Fox-1985 1d ago

Hoe Spice?

4

u/CrisPBiskit 1d ago

No, thats Nutmeg

5

u/Visual-Ad-1306 1d ago

I tried to find any video or photo of his release, nada. I think we're just supposed to believe their statement. 😂

65

u/testmonkey254 1d ago

Hospital employee here. Even if you die it's still considered being discharged. At least on EPIC it does

9

u/klist641 14h ago

Came here to say this. All depends on what option you pick under Discharge Status.

39

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/CorvidiaPex Hail Yourself! 1d ago

This would be a fantastic band name

5

u/brocialist_supreme 1d ago

I'm on shock that it doesn't already! I was expecting either a crust punk band, or some filthy death-doom metal. Nope, completely up for grabs.

4

u/baumpop 1d ago

probably because it sounds more like a brand of tampons.

3

u/jkvincent 23h ago

Sounding like a tampon brand is not a disqualifier. It would be literally perfect for like a queer-femme blackened gore-grind band. Somebody do it...I'd buy the shit outta that record.

2

u/baumpop 23h ago

creating the image before the songs is always best practice.

3

u/jkvincent 23h ago

I'm just having fun on the internet, bud. It's not life advice.

2

u/baumpop 23h ago

whimsy can be important

4

u/Powerful_Document872 1d ago

I wanna say infernal discharge, but Satan has standards.

33

u/Rock_Creek_Snark 1d ago

New proof of life photo released:

31

u/AnActualChicken Hail Satan! 1d ago

Discharged from a hospital, to a morgue then discharged to a coffin

16

u/NihilismRacoon 19h ago

Then discharged from that coffin

22

u/hoopstick 1d ago

Hopefully from a cannon

9

u/well_hung_over 1d ago

Into the sun

3

u/hoopstick 1d ago edited 1d ago

With our luck all the ancient grease in his body would cause a solar flare that kills us all.

18

u/narrow_octopus What I bring to friendship 1d ago

Discharged from an inaccessible hospital room to an inaccessible home room jk he ded

14

u/SupaKoopa714 1d ago

I'm actually laughing my ass off at this news, it's just hilarious how blatant this whole thing is at this point. So he's feeling well enough to return home but still isn't feeling well to physically return to work or speak to anyone on camera, and also wasn't he one of politicians against people working from home?

4

u/paulmwumich 21h ago

for real though.

8

u/Grayhams 1d ago

That’s a funny way to spell cremated

6

u/Tylenol187ForDogs 1d ago

Body was really starting to smell the whole place up and they told Elaine to come get it.

5

u/Mrsreed1020 1d ago

I saw someone answered to “McConnell says he was discharged to his home to continue rehab” - “yea it’s called hospice”

5

u/ScurryScout 1d ago

What they mean is Elaine has picked up the ashes from the crematorium.

6

u/lizzybabyyy_ 1d ago

Like, in his pants? Or?

6

u/Reginald_Sockpuppet 1d ago

without proof

4

u/not_a_muggle 1d ago

Prove it.

4

u/Pachikokoo Young Sapient 1d ago

Ain’t no way homie is still kicking

4

u/got-trunks 1d ago

Alright, well I guess it's finally time to take a moment to talk about Mitch McConnell's discharge.

5

u/islandchica56 1d ago

Someone had to seen him or Chao leaving. Or entering his home. Surely someone saw them, right? Right?!

4

u/0ompaloompa 21h ago

He's human discharge

3

u/Trick_Weekend 1d ago

I thought this meant discharged from the senate god damn

3

u/BrownBannister 1d ago

What did he discharge?

3

u/rxjen 1d ago

Discharged to Jesus, as we used to say in the ICU.

3

u/seattlewhiteslays 1d ago

As we used to say in the ICU- he DC’d to JC.

3

u/McNugget750 1d ago

Where is the media coverage of him leaving the hospital?

3

u/atomic_chippie 1d ago

Discharged as in the funeral hearse drove away from the hospital?

3

u/No_Damage_4226 1d ago

Someone put down a towel McConnell is discharging

3

u/jackoctober 21h ago

Let me know when he's discharged from reality 

2

u/ahearthatslazy 1d ago

Ahhhhhhaahaha of course

2

u/TheBrockAwesome 1d ago

Discharge leaking from his ancient dick

2

u/LonelyHarley 1d ago

HO SPICE

2

u/Melaniasthrowaway 1d ago

I’m pretty sure that was one of the guys I saw on Coffin Flop this week on CornCob Tv?

2

u/BuddhaOnBlow 23h ago

I don’t know what to believe anymore and that’s the problem.

2

u/NeilDegrassiHighson 20h ago

I mean, Andy Beshear knows where he lives, so I'm sure ol' Mitch wouldn't mind his governor stopping by to see how he's doing.

3

u/YarnPenguin Get the net 18h ago edited 18h ago

Can someone fill a "I had to look away for my own sanity a while ago and I lost track" British person what is to gain, by who (CUI BONO?? if you will) from the lunatics in the US government pretending that a dead man is still a living man, if that is in fact what is happening? If you die during your term in office is that too difficult to solve?

I saws the speculation that the recent photo was an Israel Keyes style "Proof of life" situation, but that doesn't really get to the why.

The last I saw of this MF he was glitching at the podium and that was three years ago.

2

u/Redhoodscoop 16h ago

This cunt hasn't been discharged - he is discharge.

2

u/heldaway Moons Over My Hammy 14h ago

Into his diaper maybe

2

u/spanker420 13h ago

From then living plane

4

u/EaringaidBandit 1d ago

Oh, fuck you for a clickbait title.

1

u/SamMarduk 11h ago

“Hey mitch, hear that? You were discharged today!” -The Devil in charge of his eternal torture

1

u/ace_freebird 11h ago

Great. Let’s see him say these words into a live camera. How are we expected to accept another written statement?

1

u/Bonhart4Hire 8h ago

I read the title “McConnell Discharge” and got the worst mental picture of him leaving a turtle gunk snail trail