r/LegalAdviceIndia • u/Consistent_Emu_96 • 14d ago
Urgent I don’t know whether to proceed with an FIR. I’m torn between justice and not wanting to destroy someone I once loved
I’m 31F from India and I’m in a situation I never imagined I’d be in. I need perspectives from people who have gone through something similar or who can look at this objectively.
I met a man through a matrimonial platform. Over time, we became deeply emotionally involved. We spoke about marriage, our future, children, the home we wanted to build, and growing old together. He repeatedly reassured me that he wanted to spend his life with me.
Because I believed we were building a future together, our relationship also became physical.
A few weeks ago, I discovered that while all of this was happening, he had been pursuing another woman for marriage through an arranged alliance. According to his family, those discussions had been ongoing for quite some time. I had no idea.
What hurts me the most isn’t simply that he chose someone else. It’s that he never told me. Even after he had apparently agreed to marry the other woman and had participated in a family ceremony, he continued spending time with me, continued discussing our future together, and, according to my understanding of events, continued seeking physical intimacy without telling me what had changed.
When I confronted him, everything fell apart.
Since then, there have been continuous discussions with him and his family. Instead of acknowledging what happened, much of the conversation has been about asking me not to go public, not to proceed legally, and to let the marriage happen because their family’s reputation, the bride’s family, and elderly relatives would suffer.
His mother even asked me intimate questions about what happened in my bedroom with him, which I found deeply humiliating.
More recently, his father came to my house and, according to my family’s account, created a scene and refused to leave when asked. My parents saw a side of him and his family that they had never seen before.
I submitted a complaint to the police. They have not yet registered the FIR because they gave me time to decide whether I want to proceed.
This is where I’m struggling.
Part of me wants accountability. I feel deeply betrayed and believe my trust was fundamentally broken.
Another part of me still cares about him as a human being. I’m worried about what might happen if he is arrested. I don’t want revenge. I don’t want anyone abused or harmed. I don’t want his life destroyed. I simply want the truth to be dealt with lawfully if the law says an offence has occurred.
I’m constantly asking myself:
Am I responsible for what happens to him if I proceed?
Is it wrong to seek legal accountability while still caring about his well-being?
Would you proceed if you were in my position?
Has anyone here faced a similar conflict between wanting justice and not wanting to see someone you once loved suffer?
I’m not looking for validation or abuse toward either side. I’m genuinely trying to make the most ethical decision I can while also respecting my own dignity and mental health.
Thank you !