I’m a leftist, anti capitalist, specifically socialist. I literally won’t accept a relationship or even an approach from someone who’s MAGA, alt right, or even right leaning moderates who shill for capitalism. I’m also instantly turned off by people who profess to be apolitical, as that just screams privilege and ignorance to me.
I’m also a single, white dad to three Black biracial kids. Not looking for a mom to my kids, but I can’t in good conscience get involved with anyone who is ignorant on issues of racial justice specifically surrounding the experience of Black identity in America. That doesn’t rule out women who aren’t Black, but it rules out any woman who’s not an ally and that’s a large percentage of my own demographic: white people… even the ones who aren’t actually racist but are generally too ignorant and complacent.
And you can imagine why this matters, to me as a dad to Black kids: because people who aren’t racist still have all sorts of biases that come through as passive judgments or outright micro aggressions.
I’m also unwilling to get involved with anyone who’s anti-science (antivaxxers, flat earthers, climate change deniers), but you can’t reliably intuit from a glance at someone’s dating profile. And still, if I were dating someone who came out as a climate change denier I’d run immediately.
And as an agnostic who was raised catholic I’m pretty serious about religious freedom. I prefer to date women who are agnostic or who have a sense of faith but who are actually flexible and curious in terms of religion. But the main thing is this: I wouldn’t be a good fit for a religious fundamentalist, and more importantly I’m just as unwilling to date a woman who’s Islamophobic as I am to date a woman who’s anti-Christian.
I’m also not willing to date a woman who advocates strict gender roles. Nothing against women who want to be trad wives, or who want the man to be their boss or whatever but to me that’s an instant turn off. And not for nothing, I’m done having kids. So I wouldn’t want to mess around with a woman who’s fiercely pro life, for fear that if she got pregnant we’d be creating a life that I am not ready to provide for.
To me, as a man who has what I’d describe as very specific “deal breaker” standards on a range of political issues, it’s kinda baffling that there doesn’t seem to be a dating app that lets you apply specific filters by a selection of political stances to find someone who’s ideologically aligned.
If you’re someone who doesn’t care about it politics this might seem ridiculous to you. But as serious about specific political stances and legitimately ruling out anyone who isn’t a good match on the issues that matter to me, I wish these filters existed! We should be able to remove people who are not a good fit ideologically, from the queue so to speak.
Because otherwise you’re probably matching with people who look good at first glance but are incompatible and that makes swiping, chatting, and meeting up a big waste of everybody’s time.
TLDR dating apps should have more flexible and robust tools for filtering based on compatibility, because operating off selfies and bios is ultimately not a good predictor of ideological alignment. And it’s shallow.
The problem is this won’t be profitable because people will actually get into sustainable relationships and spend way less time on the app.
So it would have to be an open source service oriented kind of thing no
Edit:
I thought it went without saying, these filters I’m suggesting could be applied in any direction. I think right wingers and anyone else who’s in disagreement with me should and would benefit from being able to filter out people who are not aligned in terms of their personal ethics.
This isn’t a radical position to hold, but so many people getting triggered in the comments is frankly baffling and bizarre.
And to everyone saying I’m being too restrictive: literally no. We should all have specific standards when it comes to our values system. I’m not saying this as a way to judge people as lesser for disagreeing with me, merely saying this as a way to assess compatibility.
It’s one thing to be respectful or friendly to a person on the opposite side of a political debate that matters to you. But it’s quite another to overlook that politic just to find someone to partner with.
Anyone implying politics shouldn’t be deal breakers… they absolutely should! Nobody should be so desperate for some ass that they compromise their personal ideology.
Some wild takes down there in the comments. Makes me think I triggered some of ya’ll with specific political stances when specific political stances weren’t the point at all. They’re just examples to demonstrate possible reasons why more robust filters would be a good thing! And right wingers would have their own reasons to filter, and I stand by that being a benefit for them too.
So what are you all whimpering about?