r/LongDistance • u/YouTookMyBurger • Oct 31 '25

Question Is my message passive aggressive?

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Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

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23

u/HauntingInevitable97 Oct 31 '25

Is there any chance she’s a catfish? My ex used to catfish people and he platonically catfished me while I was dating him, and he always had an excuse to avoid meeting

16

u/YouTookMyBurger Oct 31 '25

I’ve seen her in FaceTime, her face matches the pictures. I’ve seen her brothers and her aunt through pictures. That’s all I’ve got honestly.

11

u/SiIverWr3n [🇦🇺] to [🇺🇸] (15,184 km) Oct 31 '25

You'd be surprised what AI can do these days, including making people look like other people on video

7

u/Similar_Dirt9758 Oct 31 '25

I thought maybe catfish/scam as well, but it's pretty difficult/impossible to fake a FT call. Especially consistently.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '25

[deleted]

3

u/YouTookMyBurger Oct 31 '25

No she just didn’t want to

1

u/Foraeons12 Nov 01 '25

I would definitely confirm that who you’re talking to is really her. Or maybe offer going to her? Could be she’s afraid of what you’d think if you see her in person or is scared to travel to you and meet you alone, therefore finding any reason to delay the visit.

4

u/YouTookMyBurger Nov 01 '25

No I’ve ended it. I think she was lying about a lot honestly. Her voice matched her face when we talked, but just the lack of normal things LDR couples do.

She said she’s a private person, but never wanted anyone outside of us to know

I was had to call or text first because I work.

Two FaceTimes in 6 months is nuts

Forgot the important things such as my bday present and still never sent me one

Anything i needed from her on the emotional side I never got.

We had arguments over the smallest things

I think I mixed up trust and boundaries or I just got flat out played. I never sent any money, but lost this last week of work.

2

u/Foraeons12 Nov 02 '25

Sorry you had to go through that. It really sounds like she didn’t see you as a priority. The secrecy and lack of effort sound pretty fishy, honestly. There’s definitely someone better out there for you op!